


Talk Me Down

by laurenjauregui



Category: Fifth Harmony (Band)
Genre: Camren - Freeform, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-02
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2018-07-28 19:17:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 112,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7653556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laurenjauregui/pseuds/laurenjauregui
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After four years of living content and at peace, Camila Cabello is forced to move back to her hometown of Miami, Florida, where she left nothing behind other than bullies and a crush that didn't exactly work out. When she starts her new school, she has plans to fly under the radar, but everything changes when she comes into contact with a group of girls, one of which she has a terrible history with.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

If there’s one thing that Camila Cabello doesn’t want to do, it’s start her junior year of high school. A year ago, if you’d have asked her about junior year, she would’ve shrugged and not really cared. It was just another year of school, right? Senior year was the one that mattered.

But now, she’s dreading it. Because this year, she’ll be attending high school back in her hometown of Miami, Florida.

When she’d lived there in middle school, it’d been her least favourite place in the world. Middle school had been hell – there was a particular group of girls that used to constantly torment her – and she couldn’t have been happier when her family had moved away. But now she’d moved back, and her first day of junior year had finally crept up on her.

Camila considers faking sick when her alarm wakes her up, but she knows that her parents wouldn’t be fooled. She’d expressed her concerns about moving back to them, and a convenient illness on her first day would be the most obvious lie in the world.

Besides, she has to go eventually.

She gets ready and grabs a banana for her breakfast, but she doesn’t say much as her mom drives her to school. Sinu doesn’t push her, which Camila appreciates. There aren’t any comments about how interesting it’ll be to make new friends like there are to her sister, Sofi; Camila made it perfectly clear that she doesn’t plan on making friends. She didn’t have any when she lived here last time, and she’d appreciated the solitude at her old school in California. While she was a little lonely on the weekends, blending into the background was far better than being bullied.

Not wanting to take her anger about moving out on her mom too much, Camila thanks her for the ride when they arrive at her new school, and she makes her way inside as quickly as she can. She digs into the new backpack her parents had bought her and pulls out her class schedule and a map of the school. With the whole ‘no making friends’ policy, Camila knows that she’s going to have to figure this out herself. She did it at her old school, so it couldn’t be that hard here.

She was wrong. The school was _much_ bigger than the one she’d attended in California, and the room names and numbers are a bit too complicated, and she ends up wandering around the empty hallways after the first bell rings.

Desperate, Camila runs over to the first person she sees and calls for help. “Hey, uh, I’m new this year and I have no idea where I’m going. Can I get your help?”

The person she’d called out to – a girl who was rummaging through her locker for something in a hurry – turns around to her, and Camila is a little shocked when she sends her a warm smile. “Yeah, sure. Can I take a look at your schedule?”

Camila walks over and passes her class schedule over to the other girl. “Here. Thanks for helping.”

“Don’t worry about it.” The girl looks over her schedule and smiles. “Perfect. We’re in the same class. I can take you there.”

“Thank you.” Camila watches as the girl drops a physics textbook into her locker and closes the door. “I’m Camila, by the way.”

She introduces herself using her middle name – ever since she’d moved the first time, she’d stopped going by Karla and started going by Camila. It helped her separate herself from the bad times she’d experienced.

“Dinah,” The other girl replies, sending her another wide grin, “Nice to meet you, Camila. Now come on. We have two hours of _math_ next.”

Camila laughs at the disgusted face Dinah pulls. “You don’t like math?”

“I think the answer to that one should be pretty obvious.” Dinah laughs. “I hate it. What kind of psycho would actually _enjoy_ math, though?”

“I don’t mind it.” Camila admits. While she prefers English based subjects, mathematics definitely isn’t her worst subject. Gym would take the trophy for that. “It’s not my favourite, but it’s tolerable.”

“No _way_.” Dinah shakes her head. “Art is probably my favourite. I had so much fun in that class last year. Half because I actually like the subject and half because I was with my friend and we made so many new inside jokes.”

“I guess that would make a class more fun.” Camila can’t say she knows that for sure, but she doesn’t want Dinah to know that she can’t relate. The last thing she wants is for people to think she’s a friendless weirdo. “Are the teachers here good?”

Dinah snorts with laughter. “That’s hilarious. I hate most of them, but the art teacher is cool. She lets me and my friends sit in her classroom at breaks and lunch, which is cool. Mostly just because she likes me and Lauren, though.”

“It’s always good to get on teachers’ good side.” Camila comments as Dinah pushes open a classroom door and sends a sheepish smile to the teacher.

Admittedly, Camila feels a little uncomfortable with the way the entire class turns and looks at them as they walk in – she really doesn’t want to be known as the girl who was late to her first lesson on the first day of school.

Their teacher sends Dinah a stern look. “Dinah Jane Hansen, care to explain why you’re late?”

“I was showing Camila here around the school before class. She’s new and I decided to be nice and show her around, but we lost track of time.” Dinah clearly lies, but Camila isn’t going to point that out. As long as she doesn’t get into any trouble, she’s fine with a little white lie. “It won’t happen again.”

Their teacher sighs. “Go and sit down.”

Camila relaxes once she realises she isn’t in any trouble, and scans the room for a seat. She spots one near the front on one of the tables of four, but before she can move to it, Dinah grabs her wrist and pulls her towards a table near the back, occupied by one other girl.

Dinah pushes Camila into a seat and then collapses into the one next to her, producing a notebook and pen out of her backpack. Camila mirrors her actions, both surprised and confused that Dinah wants her to sit with her.

“Mani,” She hears Dinah say in a hushed voice, “this is Camila. She’s new.” She feels Dinah nudge her and looks up to meet the gaze of the other girl on the table. Her flawless dark skin doesn’t have so much as a blemish on it, and her makeup is done expertly. Admittedly, it kind of intimidates her, but most pretty girls do. “Camila, this is Normani. She’s one of my three best friends.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Camila.” Normani flashes her a warm smile. “Where did you move from?”

“I moved from California, but I’m actually from here.” Camila tells her. “I moved away in middle school, but my dad had to move us back because of his job.”

“Well, at least you’ll know your way around the city.” Normani seems to sense that Camila wasn’t all that happy about moving back. “And you’ll settle in here after a while.”

“I guess so.” Camila hums in agreement and turns back towards the front of the classroom. She’s a little overwhelmed that Dinah and Normani are being so nice to her, but she’s trying not to keep her hopes up.

She remembers her ‘no friends’ policy and decides that she can’t stray from that. She doesn’t want to get attached to anyone.

-

The bell rings, signalling a fifteen minute break, and Camila decides that she’s going to use that time to find her next class. She doesn’t want to be late to that one, too.

She packs away her notebook and pen, and pulls her backpack onto her shoulders. She notes that Dinah and Normani seem to be hanging around, and she looks up and smiles at them in an effort to be polite.

Dinah takes this as an opening to talk. “Do you want to come and sit with us?”

The question leaves her a little shocked – she finds it hard to believe that they want her with them – but she reminds herself that she’s just here to study and keep her head down. “I wouldn’t want to intrude.”

“You wouldn’t be intruding.” Normani assures her. “One of us can show you to your next class, if you want. You might have class with one of us.”

“She has music next. Lauren has that too, right?” Dinah turns to Normani for confirmation.

Normani shrugs. “Probably. She isn’t in the same group as you, me and Ally.”

Camila blinks at them in confusion. “You really want me to sit with you guys?”

“Yeah!” Dinah nods and sends her an enthusiastic smile. “Come on. We’re fun. And one of us can show you to your next class so you aren’t late again.”

Camila has to admit that the offer is tempting, and she figures that nothing bad could come from having a few acquaintances that she can talk to if she doesn’t know where a classroom is or something.

After a moment of thought, she nods. “I guess I’ll come along then.”

“Awesome.” Dinah and Normani both exchange a huge grin, and then Dinah grabs Camila by the wrist again.

It doesn’t take them long to arrive at their destination – just a few turns around corners, out one building and into another, and then another corner in there – and soon, Camila is following them into what appears to be an art classroom. She remembers what Dinah had told her earlier – that her friends sit in there because the teacher likes them.

She marvels at other students’ artwork on the walls and for a moment, she wishes that she’d taken art, but then she remembers that she’s terrible at it and is glad she stuck with music. She’d never be able to replicate the quality of any of the paintings in the room.

“Camila,” Normani grabs her attention and she looks up, “this is Ally. She’s one of our other friends. Ally, this is Camila, she’s new today.”

Ally sends her a smile that’s practically radiating warmth and sunshine, and Camila feels welcomed almost immediately. “Hi, Camila. Lovely to meet you. Have these two already absorbed you into our little group?”

Dinah laughs. “The process will be complete when she meets Lauren. Where is she, by the way?”

“She left a few minutes ago and said something about getting a drink.” Ally replies. “She left her stuff here, though, so she’ll be back.”

Camila frowns to herself. They really wanted her to be a part of their group? Nobody had ever said anything like that to her before. She was always the one who kept to herself, her nose buried in a book. She’d never had one friend before, let alone a group of them.

“Sit down,” Dinah sits her in a chair next to one with a black backpack perched on it, and then moves to sit on the free seat on her other side. “So, Camila, I have a very important question you need to answer for a permanent place in our group.”

Camila blinks in confusion. “Uh… okay.”

Dinah looks as though she’s about to ask about the meaning of life, but the actual question is much less intense. “Do you like Beyoncé?”

Camila nods. “Definitely.”

“You passed.” Normani beams at her. “Congratulations. Now all you’ve got to do is meet Lauren. Which you’ll get to do in three… two… one.”

When Normani hits one, the chair on Camila’s other side is pulled out. The backpack that was previously resting on it is put on the table, along with a water bottle, and a girl sits down on her other side.

“Hey,” she hears a husky voice and nearly melts, but quickly composes herself. If she’s going to make friends, she isn’t going to start thinking about someone like that. Especially when she hasn’t even _seen_ that someone. “Who’s this?”

“Camila.” Dinah introduces her. “She just moved here. Also, she passed my test, so we’re practically best friends already.”

Lauren laughs, and Camila finally looks up at her. Her eyes widen and her throat suddenly feels knotted. There’s no way that it’s _that_ Lauren. There are probably hundreds of different Laurens in Miami. Why did the one sitting next to her have to be Lauren Jauregui?

While she wasn’t the ringleader of the group, Lauren was one of the girls who tormented her in middle school. In fact, she was the one who hurt Camila the most because of a prank they’d pulled on her at a seventh grade dance. It was something she’d tried to repress in her memories, but she couldn’t forget it, no matter how hard she tried.

Camila snaps out of whatever trance she’s in when Lauren speaks to her.

“Hey. I’m Lauren.” She’s smiling, and Camila’s heart decides to overcompensate. She feels her palms sweating when she realises that Lauren doesn’t seem to remember her.

She isn’t sure what would be worse – Lauren having no clue who she is, or Lauren remembering. If she remembered, she could apologise, but she could also pick right back up where they’d left off after Camila had moved away at the end of seventh grade.

Camila forces a smile back and decides to play dumb. “It’s nice to meet you, Lauren.”

“You too.” Lauren takes a sip from her water bottle. “How’re you liking Miami so far?”

“It’s okay.” Camila responds, still a little suspicious. While she has changed since seventh grade, she doesn’t think that she really looks _that_ different. When she gets home, throws on a sweater, takes her makeup off and puts her glasses on, she looks quite a bit like her seventh grade self.

Lauren laughs. “That’s code for ‘ _it sucks_ ’, right?”

“Actually,” Normani leans over the table towards them, “Camila mentioned that she lived here before.”

“Really?” Lauren raises an eyebrow and looks her over, and Camila prays that she doesn’t recognise her. She assumes that it’s something to do with the lack of glasses and braces that makes Lauren not recognise her. Maybe it’s because she stopped going by Karla after she moved. “I don’t remember seeing you around. You probably went to the other middle school, right? That’s where these guys went.”

“Actually, I assumed that she’d gone to yours, Lauren.” Ally says, “I can’t remember her from middle school.”

Dinah turns to Camila. “Did you go to the private middle school?”

Camila glances to Lauren nervously. She really doesn’t want to be recognised. “Uh… yeah.”

Instead of eyes widening in realisation and Camila getting pushed from her chair, Lauren just frowns. “I really don’t remember you. Did we talk before?”

“No.” Camila shakes her head and hopes that Lauren won’t notice she’s lying. “I kept to myself most of the time. I don’t remember talking to you.”

To her surprise, Lauren drops the subject. “Oh, okay.”

Camila sits back for a little while and avoids conversation, opting to listen rather than participate. She pays close attention to Lauren, but she seems incredibly different from middle school. Middle school Lauren only really seemed to care about popularity and boys, but high school Lauren doesn’t seem to care about either of those things.

At least, from what Camila has gathered so far.

“Hey, Lauser,” Dinah launches an eraser across the table and snorts with laughter when it hits Lauren in the head, missing Camila by about an inch. “Mila is in your music class next, I think. Be nice to her.”

Camila’s a little surprised by the nickname. Nobody has ever given her one of those before, so it’s kind of surreal in a way.

Lauren rolls her eyes. “I’m always nice.” She turns to Camila with a smile. “I’m kind of relieved about that, actually. I found out that everyone else is in the other class for music and was a little annoyed about being alone. It’s nice to know that I’ll have someone to talk to.”

Camila forces another smile – it’s kind of hard to be genuine towards one of the girls who made middle school the official worst time of her life. “Yeah, I guess so.”

To Camila’s surprise, Lauren keeps the conversation going. “What instruments can you play?”

“Guitar.” Camila tells her. She pauses for a moment and considers mentioning something else, eventually deciding that she might as well. “I sing too.”

“That’s really cool. Same here with the singing, but I play piano.” Lauren replies. Camila hadn’t known that Lauren had any musical talent before, so she assumes that it’s a recent development. “But speaking of music class, I’m going to head there now. Are you coming with?”

Camila glances to Dinah, Normani and Ally, who all nod at her encouragingly. Apparently they can sense that she’s a little uncomfortable around Lauren, which isn’t good. If they can tell, then Lauren will figure it out, and then she’ll have to explain that she had known Lauren in middle school, and it wasn’t in a good way.

That’s a conversation she’d rather avoid. Dinah, Ally and Normani are close to Lauren, and she’d end up friendless. While that was what she wanted in the first place, she was starting to like their company.

“Um… yeah. I’ll come with you.” Camila is definitely more than a little bit nervous about being alone with Lauren. For all she knows, the other girl remembers her and her niceness was merely a front for her friends. Then when they were alone, she could turn on her. “I’d need to go there anyway.”

“Good point.” Lauren flashes her another smile and slings her backpack over one shoulder, picking up her water bottle with her free hand. “I guess we’ll see you guys at lunch.”

There’s a chorus of goodbyes from everyone else, and Camila pulls her backpack onto her shoulders and follows Lauren out of the art classroom. She waits for the art classroom door to close, and expects Lauren to turn on her, but nothing happens.

Camila looks up at Lauren in surprise, and the other girl catches her looking and smiles at her again. She’s shocked – no sudden turn _and_ a smile? Maybe Lauren really _has_ changed.

“So… um,” Camila gets Lauren’s attention, “what’s the school like? Are there any problems with bad kids or bullying or…”

Camila trails off, regretting asking the _bullying_ portion of that. The last thing she wants to do is be recognised. She’s going to keep her identity to herself; it seems like the best option.

“Occasionally there’ll be a disruption in class, mostly when there’s a substitute teacher,” Lauren answers, “I’ve never seen any bullying happen here. I guess if it does happen, it’ll get sorted out pretty quickly. Why? Are you worried that someone is going to shove you around or something?”

Camila chews on her bottom and shrugs. “I mean… you never know what could happen, right? I’m new. I don’t know what the students are like here.”

“You don’t have to worry about that.” Lauren assures her with another soft smile. “Dinah will give anyone that bothers you a Poly beat down. She’s like a bodyguard sometimes.”

Camila hums in thought as Lauren leads her around the back of the building they were just in. She’s a little nervous that she’s taking her somewhere that they won’t be disturbed and she can pick right back up from where they left off in middle school, but she pushes that thought aside when she follows Lauren into another smaller building filled with a few rows of desks and musical instruments.

Lauren sits down at a desk in the middle of the classroom – this time the tables are separated into desks of two rather than four – and Camila hesitates before sitting down next to her.

She points to the seat next to Lauren. “Is it okay if I sit down?”

Lauren raises an eyebrow. “I kind of assumed that’s what you were planning on doing.”

“Yeah, uh,” Camila’s face flushes pink and she nods in embarrassment, sitting down in the chair next to Lauren. She lets out an awkward laugh and looks down at her feet. “I was just making sure.”

Lauren looks her over, and for a moment, Camila’s worried that she’s been recognised. “Don’t worry about it, Camila. I promised Dinah I’d look after you. I don’t break my promises.”

“It’s good to know I have two bodyguards then.” Camila jokes, trying to relax. It’s clear that Lauren isn’t suddenly going to attack her, but it’s still hard to be perfectly calm. She still intimidates her.

Lauren laughs. “I guess that’s one way to put it, yeah.”

It isn’t long before the rest of their class comes in, and Lauren spends most of their time alone doodling in the back of her notebook. Camila watches her, but she doesn’t talk; she prefers the silence, and she isn’t really sure how to make conversation with one of her old bullies without it being relatively awkward on her part.

The class is fairly relaxed – it’s mostly just their teacher talking about the course content for the next year and passing around the handouts they need – and he lets them go fifteen minutes early; something Camila appreciates since she needs to buy lunch from the cafeteria and wasn’t really prepared for the inevitable crowds at lunchtime.

Camila waits until Lauren has finished packing away her things and then sends her an awkward smile. “I need to go to the cafeteria to get lunch. Could you show me where that is? It’s cool if you don’t want to, but I just-”

Lauren casually throws her backpack over one shoulder and shakes her head. “No. You don’t want cafeteria food. That stuff is basically toxic.”

Camila blinks in confusion. “What am I supposed to get for lunch?”

“You can have half of my sandwich.” Lauren quickly replies and heads towards the door.

Camila follows her outside the music room with wide eyes. “I couldn’t take your food. I just met you!”

Well, as far as Lauren knows, she’d just met her. But Camila keeps the details to herself.

Lauren laughs. “It’s fine, seriously. You shouldn’t have to go through the torture of cafeteria food on your first day. That’s just cruel.”

Camila smiles, but for the first time, it’s actually genuine. “Thanks, Lauren. That’s really nice.”

Lauren shrugs it off as she holds open the door to the empty art classroom for her. “It’s not a big deal.”

Camila wants to joke about how much of an understatement that is, because honestly, the last thing she expected to happen today was Lauren Jauregui doing something genuinely nice for _her_. She feels like this is all a little bit too surreal to be true.

“It’s a big deal to me.” Camila tells her as she sits down. “I really appreciate that.”

Lauren just shrugs and sends her a shy smile. “It’s whatever.”

Both of them jump when Dinah bursts into the art room. “Lauren Michelle Jauregui, our new friend better not have a scratch on her or I’m suing you.”

“Dinah Jane Hansen, I think you’ll find that Camila is perfectly fine.” Lauren fires back as she gets her lunch out of her backpack. She passes half of her sandwich over to Camila and slides her chocolate bar across the table to her. “I think I took pretty good care of her.”

Camila looks up and flashes Dinah a smile, surprised that she’s actually about to defend Lauren. “Yeah, she did.”

Lauren sends Dinah a triumphant smile. “Told you.”

“I’ll take Mila’s word for it.” Dinah sits down next to Camila and gets her lunch out of her backpack. “That history lesson was boring as hell. It would’ve been better if Mani and Ally weren’t so set on taking notes all of class.”

Lauren swallows the sandwich in her mouth before replying. “Where are they?”

“Went to the bathroom.” Dinah tells her. “They’ll be here in a few, probably.”

Camila finishes off her half of Lauren’s sandwich fairly quickly and holds up the chocolate bar the other girl had given her. “Are you sure you don’t want this?”

Lauren nods. “Yup. It’s all yours.”

“Thank you.” Camila takes it, making a mental note to bring something extra with her lunch tomorrow to give to her in return. It was only polite.

It doesn’t take long for Ally and Normani to arrive, and Camila assumes that she’ll just be sitting back and listening to the group’s usual conversation, but to her surprise, they ask her questions about herself and make an effort to include her. Even Lauren.

She tries not to hold anything that happened in the past against Lauren. It’d be for the best, if she’s going to be friends with her. She’ll just have to make sure Lauren never finds out that Karla, the girl she humiliated at their seventh grade dance, is sitting right next to her.

It can’t be that hard, right?

-

“Mila!”

Camila feels someone grab her wrist, and she turns around to see Dinah, with Lauren stood next to her. “Uh… hey. What’s up?”

“How are you getting home?” Dinah asks her.

Camila nods over to the school bus. “The bus. My mom gave me a ride this morning but I have to get the bus home because she has to pick up my little sister and I’d rather just get the bus than wait.”

“Lauren can give you a ride.” Dinah offers. Camila glances over to Lauren, who nods, as Dinah keeps talking. “She takes me, Mani and Ally every day. They’re in her car now and there’s space for one more if you want.”

Camila looks over at Lauren, uncertain. “Are you sure?”

“Positive.” Lauren easily replies. “Only if you’re sure you want a ride, though.”

“Uh… I guess so.” Camila feels Dinah pull her towards a car, and she opens the door to the backseat for her. Ally shuffles over to the middle seat and Camila sits down, buckling her seatbelt.

Dinah apparently called shotgun and sits down, and Lauren makes her way into the driver’s seat. Dinah messes around with the stereo and presses play on the CD that’s already in there, rolling her eyes when The 1975 comes on.

“Damn, Lauren,” Dinah searches through her other CDs, “I thought we had Bey on this morning. When did you change it?”

“I came in here during my free period to chill. I had nowhere else to sit, so I figured I might as well listen to music.” Lauren shrugs as she pulls out of the parking lot. “You can put Beyoncé on if you want.”

Dinah finds the right disk and puts on Beyoncé, which triggers a dramatic duet between her and Normani until Lauren pulls up outside of Normani’s house. Lauren waits until she sees Normani go inside and sets off again after Ally moves over to the other seat in the back.

From Normani’s house, it doesn’t take long to get to Ally’s, and then Dinah’s.

Dinah pauses before she gets out of the car and turns around to Camila. “I hope you had a good first day, Mila.”

“I did, actually.” Camila is a little surprised that it isn’t even a lie. “Thanks to you guys being so cool.”

Dinah smiles, and turns to Lauren. “Get her home safe, Jauregui.”

“Will do, Hansen.” Lauren mock salutes her friend and watches as she walks towards her house. She waits until she’s inside and then turns to Camila. “Do you want to move up front?”

“Okay.” Camila figures that she might as well, and quickly moves into the shotgun seat.

“Alright,” Lauren smiles at her once she’s all buckled in, “what’s your address?”

Camila tells her, and they set off again, Lauren changing the CD back to The 1975 before they do. She keeps silent, Lauren humming along to the music, and it takes about two songs until they pull up outside of Camila’s house.

“Thank you for the ride.” Camila smiles gratefully. “I appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome.” Lauren replies. “Have you got a key?”

“Yeah.” Camila nods and pulls it from her front pocket. “Thanks again. Drive safe.”

She turns and walks towards her front door, aware of Lauren watching her. She doesn’t drive away until Camila is inside and has locked the door.

“Mija,” Camila isn’t expecting anyone else to be home, and turns around to see her dad, “how was your first day?”

“It was… better than expected.” Camila admits. “Is mom home yet with Sofi?”

“Not yet,” Alejandro shrugs off the question, “did you make any friends?”

“Um…” Camila hesitates, but then nods. Alejandro’s face lights up and she finds it hard not to smile herself. “I met a girl called Dinah this morning and she introduced me to her friends, Ally, Normani and Lauren.”

“That’s wonderful, mija.” Alejandro sends her a proud smile which Camila reciprocates, and then she scurries upstairs and flops down on her bed.

She pulls out her laptop, and out of habit, opens Facebook. She scrolls through it for a moment before she clicks on the search bar and types in _Lauren Jauregui_.

She clicks on the first profile she can see and scrolls through it a little bit, looking at Lauren’s profile picture, a selfie she’d taken with messy hair and a loose sweatshirt. When she catches herself smiling, she makes a straight face and clicks on the add friend button. That wasn’t weird, was it? She was allowed to add her new acquaintances on Facebook if she wanted, right?

Through Lauren’s profile, she finds Dinah, Ally and Normani, and adds them too. Dinah had referred to her as a friend, so she figured it was okay to add them. Although Camila doubts that Lauren will look, she untags herself from any photos that were taken pre-high school in case she stumbles across them.

Then she switches tabs and goes onto Tumblr, and spends the rest of the night scrolling through her dashboard.


	2. two.

Her first week at school goes by successfully – she doesn’t run into any of her other old bullies and Lauren still doesn’t recognise her – and her family have noticed that her mood is significantly brighter as of lately. She’s settled into a little routine; her mom drops her off at school on a morning, she meets up with Dinah and everyone before classes, hangs in the art room at break and lunchtime and gets a ride home from Lauren after school.

In fact, she prefers being in Miami to being in California, which is something she never thought was possible.

She gets into her pyjamas straight after school on Friday and plans on a quiet weekend in watching television and scrolling through Tumblr. It goes as any regular Friday does – she eats dinner with her parents, entertains Sofi for a little while and then makes her way up to her bedroom to binge Netflix and scroll through Tumblr.

It’s around 6:30PM when she hears a knock on her bedroom door.

She’s a little surprised – her mom doesn’t tend to knock, her dad never comes up to her room and Sofi bursts in and jumps on her when she wants to play. “Come in.”

The door pushes open and Dinah, Normani, Ally and Lauren all walk into her bedroom and see her lying in bed in her pyjamas at 6PM on a Friday night.  _Great._

Dinah laughs. “Comfy there, Walz?”

Camila is a little taken aback by the nickname, and decides to play it cool. “Yeah, actually. What can I do for you guys?”

She glances up at Lauren and is thankful that she hadn’t taken her makeup off or her contacts out – the last thing she wants is a sudden realisation that Lauren knew her before. Especially not when things had been going so well between them.

“Well, pretty much every Friday night we have a ritual hangout at one of our houses. It’s like tradition.” Normani explains. “And we figured that we should come over and see if you wanted to chill with us. Lauren messaged you on Facebook but you hadn’t opened it yet when we set off.”

Camila reaches over and grabs her phone, spotting two notifications. One is a Facebook notification that reads _‘Lauren Jauregui has accepted your friend request’_ , and the other is a message.

**_Lauren Jauregui (6:12PM): We’re all hanging out tonight, do you want to come?_ **

Camila looks up and sends Lauren an apologetic smile. “Sorry. My phone is practically always on silent.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Lauren flashes her a smile. “I was planning on waiting until you responded, but Dinah and Normani decided that we should show up at your house and ask you.”

“In our defence, Mila probably wouldn’t have replied to your message until like 10PM or something.” Normani fires back.

Ally laughs. “Y’all are crazy. I bet Camila thinks we’re weird for just showing up unannounced.”

“Technically it wasn’t unannounced.” Dinah counters, pointing to Lauren, “Lauser messaged her. It's not our fault that Mila didn't look at her phone.”

Camila laughs at their little dispute. “Well, what were you guys planning on doing tonight?”

“We were going to go to Lauren’s and watch horror movies, but we might as well stay here now.” Normani explains. “If that’s cool.”

“And if you want to hang out with us.” Ally adds, turning to Normani, “We can’t just knock on Camila’s door and expect her to let us stay here.”

Normani rolls her eyes in response. "Chill, mom."

Camila smiles. “I’d like to hang out with you guys. It’s fine if you want to stay here too, my parents or sister shouldn’t bother us.”

Dinah takes this as an invitation to flop down on Camila’s twin sized bed and get herself comfortable. “Nice. What’re you doing on your computer, Mila?”

“Tumblr.” Camila replies. “My typical Friday night.”

“You have a Tumblr?” Lauren sits down on the bed on her other side. “What’s your URL? I’ll follow you.”

“It’s waakeme-up.” Camila tells her the proper spelling and then follows Lauren back. She scrolls through her blog for a few moments and reblogs a couple of posts, before closing her browser and turning to her friends, who have all managed to make themselves fit on Camila’s bed. “So, what do you guys want to do?”

“Do you have popcorn?” Dinah answers her question with another question.

“In the kitchen, yeah.” Camila replies.

Dinah jumps up from the bed. “First, popcorn. Then, scary movie marathon.”

Admittedly, Camila doesn’t really like the sound of scary movies at all, but she doesn’t want her new friends to think less of her if she ruins their plans. They were nice enough to see if she wanted to hang out with them, so she was going to keep her mouth shut about the movies.

She takes her friends downstairs to the kitchen, and Sinu fusses over them as they make popcorn. Camila can’t really blame her – she’s never had friends before, so she lets her mom ask her friends some questions before they head upstairs.

Lauren is the only one to say goodbye to her mother. “It was nice meeting you, Mrs Cabello.”

Camila sends Lauren a thankful smile as her mom calls out, “Please, call me Sinu,” and then they walk back upstairs, lagging behind everyone else.

Lauren stops in the hallway and points to a picture frame, and Camila nearly has a heart attack. Luckily, it’s just a picture of her when she was around five. “Is this you?”

Camila laughs at the photograph. “Yeah. I was like five or six then.”

Lauren looks at the picture for a few more moments and smiles. “You were cute.”

Camila raises an eyebrow as they walk back into her bedroom. “Um, _was_ cute? What’s with the past tense there? I’d think I’m still pretty cute, thank you very much.”

Lauren glances over her for a moment as they sit back down. “Nah, I wouldn’t call you cute. _Hot_ … maybe.”

Camila’s face turns bright red at Lauren’s comment. She feels heat creeping up her neck and into her face and she finds it hard to believe what just happened. Lauren just called her hot. Even though she’s sitting here in her pyjamas.

What the _hell_.

“Mila, your Netflix history is literally just a bunch of documentaries,” Dinah points out as she scrolls through Netflix for something to watch. Apparently they’d figured out how to work Camila’s TV in the time it had taken her and Lauren to walk up the stairs. “You’re literally the biggest nerd I’ve ever met.”

Camila laughs and tries to shrug off Lauren’s comment from before. “They’re interesting.”

Dinah rolls her eyes and scrolls through the horror section; her, Ally, Lauren and Normani settle on watching a movie titled _Sinister_. Camila doesn’t like the sound of it, but she nods when they ask her if she’s cool with watching it. It was just a movie, anyway. How scary could it be?

She manages to make it a decent way through the movie without screaming or doing anything embarrassing. About halfway through, there's a rather large jumpscare, and she lets out a little scream and hides her face in Lauren’s shoulder without thinking.

Once she’s realised what she’s done, she decides that it’s probably best to pull away and act like nothing happened, but Lauren’s right hand starts playing with her hair and tracing random patterns on the back of her neck, and Camila decides that she’d much rather stay like that than watch a movie that’ll probably give her nightmares.

She’s so relaxed that she falls asleep.

She doesn’t wake up until at least two hours later, when the first movie is long over and her friends are watching something else. She takes a quick glance around the room and notes that Dinah and Normani are the only two of her friends still awake. Ally is curled up on Camila’s bean bag, which doesn’t look comfortable, and Lauren is still holding her like before, except her hands have stilled and her arms are wrapped around Camila’s waist, her head resting on one of Camila’s pillows.

Camila snuggles her face back into Lauren’s neck and takes in the other girl’s comforting scent of lavender. She finds it incredibly hard to believe that she was terrified of Lauren in middle school – over the past week, she’d become so much more relaxed around the other girl. The only thing she worries about is Lauren finding out about their history. Which definitely won't happen if she can help it.

“Comfy, Walz?”

Camila doesn’t know how Dinah knows she’s awake, but she looks up and nods. “Mhm.”

Dinah sends her a teasing smirk. “Lauser looks comfy, too. I wonder what it is.”

Camila rolls her eyes as Normani laughs at Dinah’s remark. “Whatever. I’m tired. Wake me up when you’re leaving.”

“Someone’s sociable.” Normani comments, and Camila keeps her eyes open for long enough to see them both turn back to the movie on Camila’s television.

She doesn’t really go back to sleep – she hears Dinah and Normani’s passing comments and banter about the movie and Ally’s occasional snores – mostly she just kind of lays there in Lauren’s arms and feels content. She feels so relaxed, which is surprising considering the horror movie playing in the background. The rise and fall of Lauren's chest is comforting, and she can hear the soft pounding of her heart as she sleeps.

It isn’t long before she hears Dinah switch the television off and stand up.

Normani speaks. “Are we going to wake them up?”

“First of all, I’m getting a picture of Camren over there.” Dinah takes a picture of Lauren and Camila all snuggled up. “This one is going on Facebook.”

Normani laughs. “ _Now_ are we going to wake them up?”

Camila hears shuffling, and then Dinah saying, “Ally, get up. It’s time to go home now.”

Someone grabs Camila’s arm, and she looks up to see Normani smiling at her. “Hey. Did you sleep well?”

“Surprisingly yes,” Camila doesn’t move away from Lauren. “Lauren is a very good pillow.”

Normani laughs and walks over to Dinah, who is still attempting to wake Ally up. Camila shifts and pokes Lauren in the side, which elicits a grumble from the other girl but nothing else.

“Lauren, wake up.” Camila pokes her again and Lauren’s green eyes open. “Hey.”

“Hey, Camz.” Lauren’s voice is huskier than usual, but Camila isn’t focused on that. She cares way more about the fact that Lauren just called her _Camz_. “What time is it?”

Camila snaps herself out of her little daze and picks up her phone. “Eleven.”

Lauren sits up and rubs her eyes. “Okay. I’ll text my parents and tell them I’m coming home.”

Camila watches as Lauren gets up and pulls her phone from her pocket. She texts her parents and stretches, and Camila rips her gaze away when she sees that Lauren is turning back to look at her.

Lauren had called her Camz. What did that mean? She knew that Dinah’s many nicknames were always joking – she did that to everyone – but Lauren didn’t seem to have nicknames for anyone else in the group. It also made Camila feel different to how she feels when Dinah nicknamed her.

Camila tries to shake it off and walks her tired friends to the front door. She's probably just overthinking things anyway. It's what she's best at.

She says goodbye to her friends as they all leave the house, and Lauren pauses before she leaves to hug her.

“I’ll see you at school.” She murmurs before she turns and walks towards her car.

It leaves Camila a little bit flustered, and she closes her door and heads back upstairs, trying to get Lauren out of her head.

It’s incredibly hard with Lauren’s scent still lingering on her pillows.


	3. Chapter 3

“Walz, where do you think you’re going?”

Camila stops packing up her things and raises an eyebrow. “Home? It’s the end of the day.”

“Yeah, but it’s _Friday_.” Dinah specifies. “I don’t want you to go home and get in your pyjamas and waste your life away on that weird Tumblr website.”

Camila blinks in confusion. “So I’m not allowed to go home? Are you saying that I’m eternally trapped in school and I can never go on Tumblr again? The _horror_.”

“No,” Dinah rolls her eyes, “we’re going over to Lauren’s tonight for a pizza party and sleepover. Are you in?”

“Um… I guess so.” Camila isn’t sure if Lauren would be okay with that. Surely she would’ve asked her at lunchtime if she wanted her to come. “Will Lauren be okay with that? It’s her house.”

“She told me to ask you.” Dinah unlocks her phone and holds it out to her, showing a text from Lauren that read ‘ _Ask Camz if she wants to come tonight._ ’ “So obviously she’s fine with it.”

“Alright then. I’ll ask my parents when Lauren drops me off at home and then get all of my stuff together.” Camila says. “What time should I get there for?”

“We’re all going for six.” Dinah informs her. “Bring money for pizza, your pyjamas and your not-so-little Cuban ass.”

Camila laughs. “Okay, I will. Now am I allowed to leave?”

Dinah pulls her bag onto her shoulder and nods. “Yep. Let’s go meet everyone else.”

They head to the parking lot together, and it doesn’t take long before they’re at Lauren’s car. Camila gets shotgun – they’ve made a little system that each one of them gets the passenger seat on one day of the week, and Camila’s is Friday. She flashes Lauren a smile as she gets into the car, but doesn’t contribute much to the conversation; she’s still a little shocked that she’s been invited to a sleepover. That’s never happened before.

It isn’t long before Lauren has dropped everyone else off at home, and she sends Camila a warm smile when she pulls up outside of her house. “Are you coming tonight?”

“Yeah. I have to ask my parents, but I’m pretty sure that they’ll say yes.” Camila puts a hand on the door handle. “Thanks for the ride, Lauren.”

Before Camila can leave, Lauren speaks again. “Will you need a ride to my house?”

“You don’t have to offer-”

Lauren cuts her off. “I want to. Will you need one or not?”

“I… um, if that’s okay.” Camila smiles sheepishly. “Only if you don’t mind.”

“Of course not.” Lauren assures her. “I’ll pick you up at half five.”

“Thanks, Lauren.” Camila gets out of the car and sends her friend another smile, before making her way into her house.

She closes her door, hears Lauren drive away, and smiles to herself. Kicking off her shoes, she makes her way into the lounge in search of one of her parents. She discovers that she’s home alone, but it won’t be long before Sinu comes home with Sofi, so Camila heads upstairs to pack up the things she needs.

She empties her school backpack and grabs her pyjamas from underneath her pillow. She gets some clothes for the next day, her toothbrush and hairbrush, and puts her glasses in her bag for good measure, but doesn’t think she’ll use them.

She zips up her bag and plays on her laptop until she hears the front door open and rushes downstairs to ask her mom for permission.

“Mija!” Sinu beams at her. “Did you have a good day at school?”

“Yeah.” Camila nods and hugs her little sister. “Is it okay if I sleep over at Lauren’s tonight? The girls are getting together for a pizza night and I’d really like to go.”

If it was possible, Sinu smiles even wider. “Of course! I’m so proud of you for making friends, Karla.”

Camila cringes at the name. “Don’t Karla me, mom. You know I hate that name.”

Sinu’s smile fades for a moment. “I don’t see why. It’s a lovely name.”

Trying to change the subject, Camila looks up at the clock. “Lauren is coming in about an hour to pick me up. I’ll text you in the morning if I need a lift home.”

“Okay, mija.” Sinu takes Sofi into the kitchen, probably for her ritual after school snack. “I hope you have fun with your friends. They seem like lovely girls.”

Camila smiles. “They are.”

She heads back upstairs and double checks her bag to ensure that she hasn’t forgotten anything. She passes the time by watching a few episodes of a random cartoon with Sofi, and doesn’t even notice when there’s a knock on the front door.

“Karla!”

Camila flinches at the name. No matter how many times she tells her mother to stop calling her Karla, she still does it.

Camila doesn’t move in an effort to prove something to her mom. She won’t respond to that name.

“Kaki,” Sofi takes her attention away from the television, “is that one of your friends?”

Camila blinks in confusion and turns around to see Lauren stood in the doorway. She smiles as if it’s some sort of built in function, but then her heart stops when she realises what her mother had addressed her as, probably to notify her that Lauren was there.

“Hey,” Lauren’s voice is quiet and she fiddles with her car keys, “are you ready to go?”

Camila’s heart is racing. There’s no way that Lauren doesn’t know.

“Yeah.” Camila stands up and picks up her bag, which she’d left at the foot of the couch. She kisses Sofi goodbye and follows Lauren out of the lounge, passing her mother in the hallway.

Sinu smiles at her. “Have fun, mija. Call me if you need anything.”

Camila sends her a weak smile in return. “I will.”

She closes the front door behind her and follows Lauren to her car, unsure of what to say. Should she apologise for pretending like she didn’t know her? Should she explain herself?

Lauren starts the car and turns to her, and Camila expects a long rant about how she doesn’t want to be friends anymore or something. “So, what kind of pizza do you want tonight?”

Camila is completely taken off guard. “What?”

Lauren laughs and repeats herself. “I _said_ , what kind of pizza do you want? I know what Ally, Normani and Dinah all want, so we can order it when we get back.”

By some miracle, did Lauren not hear her mom refer to her as _Karla_? Maybe she did hear it, and just assumed she’d imagined it. Camila can’t believe her luck.

“Oh. Pepperoni, I guess.” Camila answers, and smiles to herself. Lauren doesn’t know. Everything is still good. “So aside from pizza and sleeping, what’s the plan for tonight?”

“Dinah and Mani will probably want to watch some more horror movies. I feel like at this point we’ve watched so many that we’re going to run out.” Lauren laughs to herself. “And I doubt we’ll get much sleeping done. We tend to stay up late.”

Camila raises her eyebrows. “Maybe you guys will, but I need my beauty sleep.”

Lauren looks her over. “Clearly you’re getting more than necessary. One night won’t affect you.”

Camila feels her pulse raise and her cheeks heat up. Lauren really needs to stop with the subtle compliments. “Thanks.”

Lauren smiles. “You don’t need to thank me. Just telling the truth. Beautiful people deserve to know that they’re beautiful.”

If it was possible for Camila to turn even redder, she did. She’s starting to realise why Lauren’s compliments do that to her, and she really doesn’t want to start liking her. She isn’t falling into that deep dark hole again. While Lauren is different now, she can’t fall for a friend. Especially not a very straight friend who bullied her for liking girls in middle school.

Lauren’s car comes to a stop in front of a house. Camila follows Lauren out of the car and inside a tidy, reasonably sized house. “Welcome to my humble abode, I guess.”

“It’s nice.” Camila looks around a little bit with a smile, imagining Lauren doing little things around the house like getting a glass of water from the kitchen or watching TV on the couch.

Lauren grabs her arm and nods towards the stairs. “Come on. Let’s go upstairs.”

Camila follows her up the stairs, surprised when they run into another girl on the upstairs landing. She didn’t know that Lauren had any siblings.

“Hey, Taylor,” Lauren gets the girl’s attention, “This is Camila. She’s a friend of mine.”

Taylor sends her a warm smile. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Lauren’s arm wraps around Camila’s waist, and she leads her into a different, rather spacious bedroom. There are polaroid pictures on one wall of Lauren, Dinah, Ally and Normani, a tidy dresser on one side of the room, and a neatly made double bed. There’s a TV in front of the bed that’s switched off, and Lauren’s laptop is rested on the centre of her bed.

“This would be my room.” Lauren walks over and sits on her bed. “Usually it’s kind of messy, but I tidied it earlier considering I’m having guests over.”

Camila sits on Lauren’s bed and looks around again. “It’s cool. I like the pictures on your wall.”

Lauren glances over to them and smiles. “Yeah. It’s nice to put stuff up there like that. Reminds me of good times with everyone, you know?”

“Yeah.” Camila nods and fiddles with her fingers. “I’m more of a selfies on my phone kind of girl rather than pictures on my wall.”

Lauren reaches over her and steals her phone, opening up the camera. She shuffles up behind Camila and smiles, snapping a picture of them both.

“There you go.” Lauren’s hand touches her waist and she hands Camila her phone back. She doesn’t pull away as she continues. “Now you can remember this.”

Camila swallows the lump in her throat and nods. “Yeah.”

Lauren moves away from her and grabs her computer as Camila studies the picture they’d taken. They both look so happy, and Camila wants to stare at it forever. “I’m going to order the pizza now. By the time it gets here, everyone else will have arrived.”

Camila sits in silence as Lauren orders the pizza, and breathes a small sigh of relief when the door opens, and Dinah, Ally and Normani walk in.

“Why are you two so quiet?” Dinah says as she closes the door. “Lauser’s on her laptop and Walz is on her phone. So antisocial.”

Lauren raises an eyebrow but doesn’t look up from her computer. “Do you want me to order pizza or not?”

“Oh, if that’s what you’re doing then feel free to continue.” Dinah looks over to Camila. “But Mila, stop being antisocial. Get your sleeping bag out and pick a spot on the floor or something. Just don’t sit on Tumblr all night.”

Camila blinks in confusion. “Sleeping bag? You didn’t tell me I was supposed to bring a sleeping bag.”

Normani laughs and looks over to Dinah. “You seriously didn’t tell her?”

Ally sends her one of her sunshine-like smiles. “Don’t worry, Camila. I’m sure that you can borrow Lauren’s.”

Lauren still doesn’t look up from her computer, but she shakes her head. “Nope. Chris has it since he’s staying at a friend’s tonight.”

Camila frowns as she watches her friends set out their sleeping bags. “I guess I’ll just sleep on the floor then.”

Lauren turns to her and shakes her head. “You can stay in my bed with me. It’s a double, so it’s not like we’ll have no space.”

“Are you sure?” Camila catches Dinah smirking at Normani and pretends she doesn’t notice. “I don’t want to intrude-”

“ _Camz_ ,” Lauren interrupts her with an eye roll. “I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t sure. It’s fine.”

“Okay.” Camila sends her friend a shy smile. “Thanks.”

“Well, it isn’t like you haven’t slept together before.” Dinah smirks at them. Camila blushes, but Lauren doesn’t seem to have a reaction.

Ally sends her a stern look. “Dinah.”

Dinah rolls her eyes. “I’m just having fun. Chill, _mom_.”

Lauren closes her laptop – apparently she’s finished ordering pizza – and everyone gives her the money for theirs and she puts it on the side. “It’ll be here in like half an hour, so what do you guys want to do until then?”

“We need to put a movie on.” Normani announces, and grabs Lauren’s television remote. She turns it on and goes onto Netflix, going straight to the horror section. Typically.

It takes Normani and Dinah so long to pick out a movie that by the time the pizza arrives, they’re still arguing over what to watch. When she hears the doorbell, Lauren nudges Camila. “Come and help me with the pizzas?”

“Sure.” Camila follows her out of the room and down the stairs, towards the front door.

“Mom,” Lauren jumps in front of her mom and opens the door. “It’s cool, I’ve got it. It’s our pizzas.”

Instead of arguing as Lauren pays for the pizzas, her mother turns to Camila. “You’re new. You must be Camila? Or… _Camz_?”

Lauren had talked to her mom about her? And she’d called her Camz to her mom? The thought gives her a warm, fluttery feeling in her chest.

Camila nods and smiles shyly. “Yeah, that’s me. It’s nice to meet you, Mrs Jauregui.”

“Call me Clara,” Lauren’s mom smiles as her as Lauren steps around her and passes two of the five pizzas to Camila. “Lovely to meet you too.”

“As much as I’m glad you two are hitting it off, Camila and I are going upstairs before you say something embarrassing.” Lauren interrupts them.

Clara laughs as they walk back up the stairs. “It’s your dad who’s the embarrassing one.”

Once they’re out of Clara’s sight, Lauren turns to her. “That’s a lie. They’re both embarrassing.”

Camila laughs. “My parents can be like that too. My mom insists on calling me by my first name even though she knows I hate it. My dad likes to-”

“Camila isn’t your first name?” Lauren turns to her with a frown. “What is it?”

Camila shakes her head. “It’s my middle name, but I’m not telling you what my first name really is. Like I said, I hate it.”

Lauren pouts, and Camila puts that in the top five most adorable things she’s ever seen. “But Camz, I’m your friend.”

“I’m not telling you.” Camila is quick to answer. Mostly because Lauren might not be her friend if she did. “You can give it up.”

Lauren huffs. “You’re a jerk.”

“Nobody but my parents and my little sister know my first name, and that’s how it’s going to stay.” Camila says as they walk into Lauren’s bedroom again. “Maybe I’ll tell you one day. In the _very_ distant future.”

Lauren sighs as she sets the pizzas down on her bedside table. “Fine. I guess I’ll just have to do everything in my power to make you trust me as much as you trust your family, then.”

Camila hums in thought. “I guess you will.”

In the time it took Lauren and Camila to go downstairs and get the pizzas, Normani, Ally and Dinah had all changed into their pyjamas, taken their makeup off and had gotten comfortable on their sleeping bags, a movie paused on the TV screen.

Dinah gets her pizza and sits down again. “We were wondering when you guys were going to come back upstairs.”

Normani nods as Lauren hands her a pizza. “Yeah. You took forever. Did you get ambushed by your parents or something?”

“Yep. My mom wanted to meet Camila.” Lauren gives Ally her pizza and sits back down on her bed, opening the last two boxes and passing Camila the pepperoni one. “And then on our way back upstairs, Camz revealed some shocking information to me but wouldn’t elaborate because she’s a _jerk_.”

Camila sighs and rolls her eyes. “I’m not telling you my first name.”

“Camila isn’t your first name?” Ally asks her.

“Nope.” Camila replies, popping the ‘p’. “It’s my middle name. I hate my first name.”

Normani swallows a bite of her pizza and frowns. “What’s your first name?”

“Not telling.” Camila stretches and sends Lauren a mock glare. “That’s why I’m a jerk, apparently.”

Ally sends her a comforting smile. “Ignore her if she asks. She can’t force it out of you.”

Camila beams. “Thanks, Ally. And don’t worry, I plan to ignore her.”

Lauren scoffs. “You say that like I’m not sat right next to you.”

Camila just shrugs elusively. “You can try all you want to get it out of me, but you won’t.”

Lauren raises her eyebrows. “Is that a challenge, Cabello?”

Dinah rolls her eyes. “Ralph, she isn’t going to tell you. Shut up so we can watch the movie.”

Lauren mutters something to herself, but Camila doesn’t catch it. Instead, she just turns and watches the movie. At least, until they get about two minutes in and she realises that it’s _Saw_ , which has been on her ‘never ever going to watch list’ ever since she discovered what it was about.

She closes her eyes and tries to block out the sounds of screaming on the television. There’s no way that she’ll be able to get through watching that without puking or something.

Around five minutes pass and she feels an arm wrap around her waist and pull her to the right. Camila lets Lauren pull her close, and she hides her face in the other girl’s shoulder.

“I can tell them to turn it off.” Lauren whispers to her.

Camila shakes her head. “I don’t want to ruin your night.”

“Yeah, and I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.” Lauren counters. “We can go and get a drink or something so you can take a break?”

Camila figures that it’s a good compromise. “Um… yeah. Okay.”

Lauren sits up and addresses the rest of the group. “Camz and I are going to get drinks. Do you guys want anything?”

There’s a few grumbles of, “No thanks,” and then Lauren puts an arm around Camila’s waist and leads her out of the room. Lauren takes her down into the kitchen and pours out a glass of water for her, which Camila appreciates.

“You didn’t have to leave, you know.” Camila says. “Like I said, I don’t want to ruin your night.”

Lauren sighs. “Camz, you’re not ruining anything. I don’t get why you think that we secretly hate you or something. It isn’t- you’re allowed to tell us if you don’t want to watch a certain type of movie. We’re your friends. We won’t be mad.”

“It’s just…” Camila bites down on her lip and looks at her feet. “I’ve never had friends before. I don’t know what’s acceptable and what’s not so I’m going with what you guys want because I don’t want you to drop me. I like being friends with you and I don’t want to be alone again.”

Instead of saying anything to her, Lauren moves forwards and pulls her into a hug. Camila wraps her arms around Lauren’s waist and buries her face into her shoulder, holding onto her as tightly as she can.

“You aren’t going to be alone again.” Lauren assures her. She pulls away slightly, enough that she can look Camila in the eye, but still hold her. “I can promise you that. Especially not because of a stupid movie. We wouldn’t just ditch you. You’re part of our group. We care about you, Camz. I care about you.”

Camila smiles weakly. “You really mean that?”

“Of course I mean that.” Lauren easily replies. “You’re my friend. I wouldn’t just ditch you, and I know the rest of the girls wouldn’t either. I won’t let myself hurt anyone else.”

Camila frowns. “Anyone else?”

Apparently, Lauren had hoped that Camila wouldn’t pick up on that. “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

“Clearly it isn’t nothing if you brought it up.” Camila reaches over and grabs Lauren’s hand. “You can talk to me, you know?”

Lauren looks at her for a moment, as if she’s deciding whether or not to tell her. Eventually, she just sighs. “I know I can talk to you. It’s just- I went to a different middle school than Dinah, Normani and Ally. And they don’t know about the things that happened there.”

“I won’t tell them.” Camila assures her. For good measure, she wraps her pinky around Lauren’s and squeezes. “I promise.”

Lauren looks down and shrugs. “There was this girl at my school. Her name was Karla.”

Camila’s pulse quickens and she nods, trying to act casual. “Yeah?”

“She didn’t really have any friends and I always felt kind of bad for her, but my friends at the time liked to shove her around.” Lauren pauses and shakes her head. “No. They bullied her. Badly. I… I tried not to get involved, but it was middle school, you know? I wanted to look ‘cool’ or something, so I- I joined in. I tried my best to be as low-key about it as possible though. I didn’t want to hurt her. She was so tiny and vulnerable and easy to take advantage of and I feel like such a jerk when I think about how I didn’t stop it. This one day, though…”

Lauren trails off, and Camila grabs her hand and gives it a soft squeeze. “It’s okay. Keep going.”

Lauren looks down at their hands and traces patterns across Camila’s knuckles. “I just- my friends found her journal. They read it, and apparently she liked me. At the time, admittedly I was a little freaked out about it, and my friends’ negative reactions didn’t help. They told me that it was wrong that she liked girls, and I was stupid enough to believe them.”

Camila can’t believe what she’s hearing. She’s finally getting Lauren’s side of the story. “Everyone is easily influenced in middle school.”

Lauren shakes her head. “No. That still doesn’t justify what happened.”

Camila’s face sinks into a frown, and while she already knows the answer to the question, she asks it anyway. “What did you do?”

“My friends told me that I should ask Karla to the summer dance in seventh grade and then we’d teach her a lesson.” Lauren bites down on her lip and lets go of Camila’s hand. “So I did. I asked her, and she was so… it was like, she was the happiest I’d ever seen her. It hurt. I wanted to back out then and there, but my friends told me that it would be good for her in the long run, to learn that liking other girls was a bad thing. So I went through with it. I took her to the dance and halfway through, we outed her. We mocked her in front of everyone and she was so heartbroken and I can’t believe that I did that to her. After the dance… I, uh, she… she got hurt. She was hurt both physically and mentally because I led her on and outed her with my bitchy friends.”

Camila feels tears pricking at her eyes, but she forces them back. She can’t cry. Lauren will know that something is wrong. “It’s okay, Lauren.”

“It’s _not_.” Lauren shakes her head. “It’s not okay. She was _heartbroken_ , Camz. She liked me and I exploited her feelings because of my stupid friends. I probably screwed her up. I never saw her again after that night. I heard that her parents pulled her out of school and that they moved away or something, but I really wish I could’ve apologised. I wish I’d never listened to my dumb friends in the first place.”

Camila bites down on her bottom lip and pulls Lauren into a hug. She rubs circles into her friend’s back in an effort to comfort her. “I’m sure wherever Karla is, she forgives you.”

“I doubt it.” Lauren’s arms wrap around Camila’s waist. “I exploited her feelings for me. That stuff doesn’t go away easily. She probably has extreme trust issues or something like that because of something I did. And the thing is, I’m never going to see her again, so realistically I shouldn’t care, but it bothers me so much that I’ll never get the chance to at least apologise to her.”

Camila lets go of Lauren and sends her a sad smile. “If you could say something to her right now, what would it be?”

“Words wouldn’t be able to explain how sorry I am about the whole thing.” Lauren sighs and leans against the kitchen counter. “I would try and make it up to her in any way I could. I just… hope that she’s somewhere good. And that she’s happy. And that she has a super cute girlfriend who treats her right.”

“I bet she’s very happy.” Camila actually smiles this time, because it’s true. Karla Camila Cabello is incredibly happy, and part of that is because of Lauren’s friendship. “I’m sure she’s forgiven you. I would, if it was me. It was middle school. You’ve changed and grown since then. So has she.”

Lauren lets out a bitter laugh. “I should’ve ditched my dumb friends and stuck up for her. She was so sweet and she’d never said a bad word to anybody. And you know what the worst part is?”

Camila frowns. “What?”

“I actually kind of liked her back.” Lauren admits. “Maybe in some sort of alternate universe, everything worked out.”

Camila blinks in confusion. Lauren had liked her? _Seriously_? “You’re gay?”

Lauren shakes her head. “No. I’m bi.”

Camila’s jaw drops in surprise. She hadn’t been expecting _that_. If she was being honest, she hadn’t been expecting any of it – Lauren actually feeling sorry for what she’d done in middle school, middle school Lauren liking her back and Lauren’s sexuality. _Especially_ Lauren’s sexuality.

Lauren frowns at her. “Is that a problem?”

“What?” Camila looks up and realises she’s been daydreaming.

“Me being bi.” Lauren clarifies. “Is that a problem? You seem a little freaked out.”

“No, I’m just kind of shocked. I didn’t get that vibe from you.” Camila says. She bites down on her bottom lip. “I’m gay, so…”

“Oh,” Lauren’s expression brightens. “Cool. Are you out, or…?”

“I’m out to my family. You’re the first person outside of them I’ve told.” Camila admits. “They were really cool about it. I told them a few years ago and my parents are always incredibly embarrassing when they see me checking out a cute girl in public. They’re always like, ‘oh, mija, do you like her?’, and they say it as loud as they can. The girl usually hears and then typically I’m horrified.”

Lauren laughs. “That’s adorable, though. It’s cute that your parents are so supportive.”

“Are you out?” Camila asks.

“Pretty much. If people ask I tell them.” Lauren explains. “In freshman year, when I finally came to terms with it, I told the girls pretty much straight away. They were really cool with it. My family have known for a few years now, too.”

Camila smiles. “Cool. I was so nervous telling my family, but looking back on it, I don’t really know what I was so worried about.”

“I get that.” Lauren smiles at her. She reaches over and grabs her hand. “Thanks for making me feel better, Camz. It was good to finally get the whole Karla thing out, you know?”

Camila beams. “Yeah. I’m here for you, Lo.”

Lauren raises her eyebrows. “Lo?”

“Yeah.” Camila looks down at her feet and nervously worries her lip between her teeth. “It’s a nickname. Is that okay?”

“It’s adorable.” Lauren beams at her. She squeezes her hand one last time and then lets it go. “Do you want to go back upstairs? We can get into our pyjamas if you want.”

“Pyjamas sound great.” Camila says, and follows Lauren towards the stairs.

Knowing Lauren’s side of the story takes a huge weight off Camila’s shoulders. At least she knows that if she finds out, there isn’t a chance of Lauren suddenly turning on her. She still doesn’t plan on telling her though; she doesn’t want Lauren to think that she owes her anything. Camila has completely forgiven her. Lauren is genuinely sorry, and that’s enough for her.

“I’m going to tell the girls to turn the movie off.” Lauren pauses outside of her bedroom. “It’s not fair to you. I want all of my friends to enjoy tonight. Not just three of them.”

Camila sips on her glass of water. “I’m already enjoying tonight.”

Lauren smiles to herself as she pushes her bedroom door open. She sits back down on her bed and watches as Camila picks up her bag.

“My bathroom is over there.” She points towards a door on the left. “You can get changed in there.”

“Okay.” Camila sends her a grateful smile and takes her backpack into the bathroom.

She pulls out her pyjamas and gets changed, before focusing on removing her makeup. She takes her contact lenses out and glances towards her glasses. Taking her chances, she puts them on and then leaves the bathroom, sitting herself down on Lauren’s bed again.

When she feels the bed dip, Lauren turns around and flashes her a smile. “I didn’t know you needed glasses.”

Camila laughs, relieved that Lauren doesn’t seem to have made any connections between her and her seventh grade self. “Yeah, I always have. I prefer my contacts though.”

“I think you look cute.” Lauren compliments her. She stands up and grabs her pyjamas from under her pillow. “I’m going to get changed. Be right back.”

Camila watches as Lauren goes into the bathroom and then looks up at the television. The horror movie is gone from the screen and her friends are searching through the comedy section. She knows that Lauren has said something, and she feels bad, but her friends don’t seem too upset about it.

Camila finishes off the rest of her pizza as her friends settle on watching _The Heat_ , and it isn’t long before Lauren comes back into the room and sits back down next to Camila on the bed.

“So, what were you two doing downstairs? Clearly you weren’t getting drinks, considering all you have is half a glass of water.” Dinah turns around to them with a smirk.

Camila shrugs. “We had a talk.”

This piques Normani’s interest. “What about?”

“Camz was worried that you guys would be upset with her if she didn’t want to watch the movie.” Lauren says. It’s half the truth. “So I assured her that you wouldn’t be.”

Camila blushes. “Yeah. I was just a little bit worried.”

Dinah rolls her eyes. “Walz, you could’ve said something before we put it on.”

“I know that, I just didn’t want to ruin your fun.” Camila replies. She sighs, and without thinking, rests her head on Lauren’s shoulder. “I didn’t want you guys to think less of me or something.”

“We wouldn’t think less of you.” Ally sends her one of her signature smiles. “You’re our friend. If you’re uncomfortable with something, tell us.”

Lauren looks down at her with a smile. “See. Told you they’d say the same as me.”

“I guess so.” Camila smiles to herself. Honestly, she couldn’t be happier. She’d been back in Miami for a month, and she’d made four amazing friends, something she’d never expected to happen.

She just hopes that nothing will happen to mess with this equilibrium.


	4. Chapter 4

Camila sighs to herself when there’s a knock on the front door. She’d been enjoying her day home alone and was in an incredibly comfortable position on the couch – since it was only half ten, she hadn’t planned on moving until her parents arrived home. Home alone days are her favourite days; she basically just watches television, and although today she has the extra task of sorting through a few leftover boxes from the old house, she likes being able to stay in her pyjamas all day.

When there’s a second knock on the door, Camila realises that whoever it is isn’t planning on going away soon, so she kicks her blanket off and walks to the door. She pulls it open to see Lauren stood in front of her.

“Hey, Camz.” Lauren beams at her. “Are you busy?”

Camila looks over at the TV and shrugs, stepping aside to let Lauren in. “That depends. Why are you here?”

“We’re having a beach day today.” Lauren tells her. “Dinah told me she texted you, but you hadn’t replied.”

“Yeah, my phone is upstairs on silent.” Camila smiles sheepishly. “Are you sure you want me to come?”

“I wouldn’t have driven twenty minutes out of my way if I wasn’t sure.” Lauren teases her, walking around her to sit down on the couch. “We’re meeting at twelve on the beach.”

Camila frowns. “Why are you here now then?”

“Maybe I wanted to hang out with you before we meet everyone else.” Lauren sends her an elusive smile. “But if you’re hinting that you want me to leave…”

Camila shakes her head. “No. Stay. I wasn’t doing anything interesting though, just watching TV and looking through a bunch of my old stuff and picking out what I want to keep.”

Lauren reaches down to the box Camila had been half sorting through before she’d arrived. She frowns, and grabs a red book, which Camila recognises as her middle school yearbook.

“I forgot we went to the same middle school.” Lauren quickly flicks through it and frowns. “Why isn’t it signed?”

Camila shrugs. “I never asked anybody to sign it.”

Lauren looks at her for a moment and then grabs a pen from the coffee table. She flicks to the first page and quickly scribbles something, smiling to herself as she writes. Then, she closes the book and passes it to Camila. “Here.”

Camila opens it again and reads Lauren’s message.

_Camz, you’re the best, and I’m honoured to be the first person to sign your yearbook. Even if I’m four years too late. – Lolo Jauregui xoxo_

Camila beams and reads over the message a few more times. “ _You’re_ the best.”

“Debatable.” Lauren drops the pen on the coffee table again when Camila passes the yearbook back to her. She flicks through it again and finds herself, laughing at her picture. “Wow. Seventh grade me.”

Camila looks over the picture, thankful that she hadn’t drawn hearts or anything weird over it. She smiles to herself. “You were cute.”

“Thanks, Camz,” Lauren looks up at her with a shy smile, before she flicks to the ‘C’ section, presumably to find Camila. “Let’s find you.”

Camila shakes her head and closes the yearbook. “Let’s not find me.”

Lauren sends her an odd look. “I won’t judge you for how you looked in middle school. You’ve seen my picture.”

“Lauren,” Camila holds the book closed and shakes her head again. “Can you drop it?”

Lauren frowns at her. “You realise that I have one of these at home, right? I could easily-”

“Please don’t.” Camila puts the yearbook back into the box it was in. “Just don’t.”

“Why are you being so weird about this? It’s just a yearbook photo.” Lauren looks her over, waiting for a response. When Camila keeps her mouth shut, Lauren just sighs and stands up. “Well, whatever, Camila. I guess I’ll go. Text Dinah back if you’re coming to the beach later.”

Camila squeezes her eyes shut and lets out a long sigh. “Maybe we did know each other in middle school.”

Lauren is completely taken off guard, but sits back down. Camila takes that as a good sign. “What do you mean?”

“I knew you. Um- we didn’t really talk, but yeah.” Camila pulls the yearbook out of the box again and flicks to where she knows her picture is. She looks down at it before she passes it to Lauren, pointing to herself. “My first name is Karla.”

Lauren blinks down at the picture, unable to believe what’s on the page. Underneath a picture of a girl who bares a slight resemblance to the girl in front of her, is the name _Karla Estrabao._ “Camz…”

“I didn’t want to tell you.” Camila interrupts her. “At first it was because I was worried that you might turn on me or something, but then after getting to know you I didn’t want you to feel like you owed me anything for what you did. I’m over it, it’s okay. I know you’re sorry.”

“I can’t-” Lauren shakes her head and closes the yearbook. She puts it down on the coffee table and turns to Camila with wide eyes. “I have to make it up to you.”

“No,” Camila squeezes Lauren’s hand. “You already have.”

“I haven’t. _God_ , Camz, why didn’t you tell me?” Lauren pulls her in for a hug and buries her face into Camila’s shoulder. “You should’ve told me. I’m so sorry, and I’m going to make it up to you.”

“I told you why I didn’t tell you.” Camila pauses to wrap her arms around Lauren’s waist. “I didn’t want you to feel like this. Like you have to do something to make it better. Sure, maybe in seventh grade I’d have appreciated that, but now? You’ve done enough.”

“Junior prom.” Lauren sits up. “I’m taking you. And it’s going to be everything that seventh grade dance wasn’t.”

Camila feels a flutter in her chest, but realises that Lauren isn’t taking her for the right reasons. “If I go to that, it’s going to be with someone who wants to take me because they like me. Not because they want to make something up to me.”

Lauren blinks at her in confusion. “You think I don’t like you? Camila, you’re one of my best friends, and no matter what, I’m making this up to you.”

“I told you, you already have. You might not think so, but you’ve done it in little things. Like giving me half of your sandwich. Telling our friends that I’m uncomfortable with horror movies because you wanted me to have fun. Walking me to class. Letting me fall asleep on you.” Camila lists, her cheeks heating up as she mentions the last one. “It all adds up, Lo. I wouldn’t spend this much time with you if I hadn’t forgiven you. I meant what I said at your sleepover. Karla is happy and she forgives you.”

“It still doesn’t feel like I’ve done anything to earn that.” Lauren sighs and pulls Camila in for another hug. “Is Karla positive that she forgives me?”

Camila smiles and lets out a soft laugh. “One hundred percent. In fact, Karla thinks that you’re pretty damn awesome.”

“Really?” Lauren raises an eyebrow and tries to hold back her grin. “That’s convenient, because Lauren happens to think that Karla is very cool, and she’s very glad she’s back.”

“Karla is kind of glad to be back, too.” Camila sends Lauren a goofy smile and sits up. “But she should probably go upstairs and get dressed if she’s going to have a beach day with Lauren, Dinah, Normani and Ally.”

Lauren laughs. “Yeah, Lauren thinks that would be a good idea.”

“Are we going to stop talking in third person now?” Camila asks, her eyebrows quirked upwards in amusement.

Lauren hums in thought. “That’d make sense. Go and get out of your pyjamas, Camz. I’ll wait down here and watch TV or something.”

Before she stands up to head upstairs, she pulls Lauren into another hug. “I’ll see you in a few minutes.”

Without thinking, as she pulls away, she leans in and kisses Lauren on the cheek. It’s only a quick peck, and it doesn’t even register in her head until she’s upstairs in her room, but she instantly regrets it. Lauren knows she used to like her, and without a doubt, she’s probably made things awkward.

She gets dressed as quickly as she can, not bothering to put on her makeup, and runs back downstairs with an apology on the tip of her tongue. Before she can ramble about how sorry she is, Lauren starts talking.

“That was fast.” Lauren looks her over. “You look cute.”

Camila straightens out her t-shirt and blushes. “Thanks.”

“Have you got your swimsuit on underneath that?” Lauren asks her. “We’re probably going to be going in the sea.”

Camila shakes her head. “I won’t be doing that. I don’t go in the ocean when I go to the beach.”

Lauren frowns. “Why not? It’s just water.”

“I just don’t want to swim.” Camila excuses, and sits back down next to Lauren. “I don’t like swimming.”

She hasn’t really liked swimming since they went down to the local pool for swimming lessons in their gym class during second semester of seventh grade. She’d been sorted into the same group as Lauren and a few of her old friends, and because of a few incidents back then, she generally avoided swimming and swimsuits and anything similar.

Lauren seems to realise why, and any trace of a smile disappears from her face. “You’re not okay, Camz. That’s my fault.”

“I’m _fine_.” Camila tucks her knees up to her chest and sighs. “It’s not your fault.”

Lauren sends her a look that reads _yeah, obviously you’re lying._ “Camila-”

“Don’t blame yourself for my insecurities.” Camila interrupts her. “They’re mine. It’s not because of you.”

“Except it _is_.” Lauren reaches out and pulls Camila into her arms. “Bullying has a lasting effect, and I’m so sorry that I just went along with everything my idiot friends did. I should’ve stopped them, and it’s not okay. You shouldn’t have forgiven me. You should hate me.”

“I could never hate you. I didn’t hate you back then, and I sure as hell don’t hate you now.” Camila tells her. “Just because I’m a little apprehensive about-”

Lauren shakes her head. “You’re not _apprehensive_. Don’t fucking sugar coat it. You’re scared of what people will think of you in a swimsuit because some stupid kids mocked you and your body when you were younger. You’re scared that you’re going to be pushed into the water and held under it until you nearly fucking pass out or something because some stupid girls did that to you as some sort of sick joke.”

Camila sighs, because really, Lauren is completely right. “I know you wouldn’t do that again.”

“I wouldn’t, but you’re still scared. If you were over it, you wouldn’t care.” Lauren says. “That’s why you shouldn’t forgive me.”

“You _want_ me to be mad at you?” Camila raises her eyebrows. “If you hadn’t already made things up to me, I would be. Trust me, I’m still mad at the other girls, and you hurt me more than they did.”

“Oh.” Lauren goes quiet and Camila realises what she’s said.

“No, wait, Lauren, I didn’t mean it like that,” Camila shakes her head, “it was just- please don’t be mad at me, but-”

Lauren scoffs. “Why would I be the one that’s mad at you? It should be the other way around. Clearly I messed you up the most.”

“No, you didn’t, it was-” Camila sighs and looks down at her feet. “I liked you. A lot. And when you asked me to that dance, it was like… I’d never really had a good moment in middle school, and I thought that maybe things would start to turn around. I thought that the girl I liked actually liked me back, and that I’d have the best night ever and maybe she’d kiss me, and maybe she’d be my girlfriend after that and I’d have someone to spend time with in summer and do things with. Maybe eighth grade wouldn’t be the hell that sixth and seventh grade were. Maybe I wouldn’t be so lonely anymore. Except that wasn’t how things went. All of that hope…” Camila cuts herself off and squeezes her eyes shut, willing herself not to cry, “I was crushed. Everything I wanted was just torn away from me and it hurt so much. Everything your friends said… it didn’t really mean anything in the long run. Their opinions didn’t matter to me. But yours did.”

Lauren reaches out and grabs her hand. “I’m _so_ sorry, Camz. I know that doesn’t really do anything to fix what happened. If I could go back and change things, I would in a heartbeat.”

“I know that.” Camila’s voice is almost a whisper. “I know you would. I don’t blame you. You were scared of what your friends would think if you opposed them, and they influenced you. They made you think that me liking you was wrong and I’m not going to hold that against you. I’m not going to deny that you hurt me… because you did. A lot. But that isn’t going to make me hate you or do anything to change the way I look at our friendship. Admittedly, I’m kind of glad that you know… I was always really worried that you would see a picture of me around the house or see something on my Facebook that would make you realise that it was me.”

“I mean… when you put your glasses on at my sleepover I thought you looked a little familiar, but I just shrugged it off.” Lauren admits. “I thought I heard your mom call you Karla when I picked you up, but I ignored that. I figured it was just my mind playing tricks on me.”

“I _knew_ you heard that.” Camila looks up. “I was terrified of what you were going to say to me, and then you just started talking about pizza and you don’t know how relieved I was.”

“Why don’t you use it anymore?” Lauren asks her. “Karla, I mean. It’s a pretty name.”

“I’ve always preferred my middle name.” Camila admits with a nonchalant shrug. “I guess when I moved it helped me kind of… separate myself from the things that had happened here. It was a completely fresh start. My mom still hasn’t really adjusted though. It’s either Karla or mija with her.”

Lauren hums in thought. “Well, I think both are adorable. Karla and Camila.”

Camila rests her head on Lauren’s shoulder and sighs. “I don’t like Karla. Not with the bad memories attached.”

Lauren turns to her with an apologetic expression. “I’m-”

“Sorry?” Camila finishes her sentence for her. “I know. You don’t have to keep saying it. You’re one hundred percent forgiven. You might’ve hurt Karla, but you’re an incredibly good friend to Camila. And that’s what matters.”

“I should’ve been a friend to you back then, too.” Lauren huffs and squeezes Camila’s hand. “I’m still going to make it up to you.”

Camila looks down at their hands with flushed cheeks. “You really don’t have to.”

“I want to.” Lauren assures her. “You’re my friend, Camz. I’d want to make you happy anyway. Now go upstairs and get your swimsuit. You’re coming in the water today.”

Camila sighs. “But-”

“No,” Lauren interrupts her, “no excuses. You’re coming in the water, and we’re going to have fun.”

“If I said it would make me happy to _not_ swim, would you be fine with letting me sit and sunbathe?” Camila tries. She really doesn’t want to swim; being in her bikini around Lauren? No thanks.

Lauren rolls her eyes. “That isn’t going to work at all, Camz. Swimsuit. Now. Or I’ll drag you upstairs and get you in it myself.”

Camila lets out an exaggerated sigh and stands up. “Fine. I’ll go and put my swimsuit on. Someone’s pushy.”

“If it takes me being pushy to make you have fun, I’m prepared to be pushy.” Lauren nudges her with her foot. “ _Go_. Jesus.”

Camila rolls her eyes and heads back upstairs, quickly changing into her bikini. She catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror and sighs; she doesn’t want Lauren to see her in a swimsuit, but she knows that the other girl won’t give up until she gets Camila to go into the ocean at least once today.

Camila puts her clothes on on top of her swimsuit and walks back down the stairs, sitting down next to Lauren again. “There, Pushy McPusher. I put my bikini on. Happy?”

“Very.” Lauren flashes her a smile. “We’re going to have fun today, Camz. I promise.”

“So far, you’re not doing very well in the whole ‘making things up to me’ task.” Camila folds her arms across her chest. “Especially since you don’t need to do it anyway.”

Lauren just rolls her eyes. “I’m not letting you be the only one to _not_ have fun at the beach.”

“You sound like Dinah right now.” Camila tells her, and clears her throat to perform her expert Dinah impression. “ _God_ , Walz, you’re so _lame._ You’re literally the most _boring_ person alive. Come with me, I’m the queen of fun. I’m so cute.”

She finishes her impression with a hair flip, and she blushes when Lauren actually laughs. “Funny. But I don’t sound like Dinah. I just sound like… a slightly pushier version of myself who wants my friend to have fun.”

“I have fun.” Camila defends herself. “I’m having fun right now. I had fun at your sleepover. I had fun when you guys came over here and we watched movies.”

Lauren raises an eyebrow. “You were literally _asleep_ at that last one.”

Camila scoffs. “So were you.”

“True,” Lauren agrees with her, “but still, none of those involved a beach. You’ve got to try new things.”

Camila’s face settles into a soft smile. “I’m still going to come to the beach. And if you really want me to swim with you, I will. It’s just… my idea of fun is a night in with pizza and Netflix.”

“Alright then.” Lauren shrugs. “If your parents are cool with it, I’ll stay over one night. We can eat all the pizza and watch all the Netflix your little heart desires. Okay?”

Camila has to admit that the idea sounds wonderful. A night just hanging out with Lauren, with her all to herself? Amazing. “Yeah. That sounds lovely. I’ll ask my parents when they get home with Sofi later.”

“Sounds good.” Lauren smiles. “A night in with you sounds great. Just don’t fall asleep this time and leave me by myself. At least last time I had the girls to keep me company.”

“You know, until _you_ fell asleep too.” Camila finishes for her. “You’re _such_ good company, Lo.”

Lauren looks down at her feet with a content expression. “I like that. When you call me Lo, I mean.”

Camila blushes. “Really? Because it was just an on the spot kind of thing, you know? I just figured that because Dinah has nicknames for everyone and you have a nickname for me, it would be okay. Unless we weren’t on like… that level of friendship yet? I don’t really get what’s okay for me to do and what isn’t depending on closeness, since I’ve never really had a friend before, let alone _four_ , and it’s like… whenever someone tried I would be frightened that they were just pretending and it was all some sort of sick practical joke, and stuff like this is all really surreal and overwhelming. And I’m rambling, aren’t I?”

“You are,” Lauren replies, trying to take all of that information in. “The nicknames are fine. I wouldn’t be creeped out by that – the other girls have given you nicknames and I just said that I liked it when you call me Lo. No problems there.”

“Okay, good,” Camila breathes out the sigh of relief she didn’t know she was holding in, “because like I said, I don’t really know what’s okay when we’ve only known each other for like… two months?”

“Another thing I’m sorry for.” Lauren mutters. “That’s my fault, too.”

Camila cocks her head to the side in a manner similar to that of a confused child. “What do you mean?”

“You never having friends…” Lauren trails off and sighs. “Look, I know you don’t want to get onto this topic again, but clearly you have some… residual issues from middle school. You said it yourself – you don’t trust people when they try to befriend you because you think it’s some sort of sick joke. That sounds an awful lot like what I did. I messed you up. _God_ , Camz, I messed one of my best friends up.”

“Lauren,” Camila shakes her head and bites down on her lip, admittedly still a little shocked by the term _best friend_ , “you didn’t mess me up. I just… I’ve always been a worrier, and it’s not exactly a secret that I’m insecure. It’d probably have been like this anyway. I’ve always had problems trusting people.”

“Don’t just brush it off!” Lauren snaps at her, and Camila flinches back, shuffling to the other side of the couch and sending her friend an apologetic look. “No, Camz, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped, I just hate that you keep telling me it’s fine. Be _honest_ with me. I’m your friend.”

Camila looks steadily at her. She gives herself a moment to take Lauren in. Staring into her friend’s mesmerising emerald eyes, she searches inside of herself for a shred of anger or hatred towards the other girl for things that had happened in the past.

But there isn’t _anything_. All Camila feels is light.

“I _am_ being honest with you.” Camila finally says, and she knows it’s not the answer that Lauren wants, but it’s the one she’s getting. “Maybe there’s some… residual worry, yes, but that’s it. There’s no hard feelings between you and I, and I’m not mad at you. Your old friends, though… they’re the ones I’m mad at. You felt bad about it. You wanted to apologise to me for hurting me the night it happened. You’re not a bad person, Lo.”

Lauren sighs. “I just don’t get what I did to make you forgive me over them. I hurt you more than they did. You said so yourself. I was the one who asked you to that dance, knowing you had feelings for me, and then used that to traumatise you. I was the one who asked you to dance with me, knowing completely well what was going to happen when we got onto that dancefloor. I could’ve stopped at any time, but I didn’t. And yet you forgive me. After everything that happened that night?”

Camila reaches over and grabs Lauren’s hand. “You were a pawn in that whole scheme. It wasn’t your plan. You didn’t come up with the idea to hurt me, and you sure as hell didn’t participate in the stuff that happened after the whole outing me process was over.”

“Yeah, but it’s like… causes, right? If I hadn’t gone along with that dumb plan in the first place, everything would’ve been fine.” Lauren argues. “You wouldn’t have been outed and you wouldn’t have gotten hurt.”

Camila scoffs. “Honestly, Lauren, do you really think that things would’ve been fine for me? Me getting my arm broken at a seventh grade dance was the last straw for my parents. They pulled me out of school and my dad got a transfer and we moved. I spent eighth, ninth and tenth grade in peace. Nobody knowing my secret and nobody bullying me, which, I’m not going to lie, was my plan of action here. Your friends knew I liked girls anyway – if they hadn’t told everyone at the dance, they’d have sent out a mass text to make sure everyone knew. Even if I’d never have gone to that dance, I still would’ve been outed. I wouldn’t have moved, and the bullying would’ve definitely gotten worse after being outed as _gay_ in _middle school_.”

Lauren picks up on something she said. “What do you mean, ‘that was my plan of action here’? Did you not want to make friends or something?”

Thankful that they’re slowly moving away from the topic of that _horrible_ dance, Camila shrugs. “It wasn’t that I didn’t want friends, it was more like… I didn’t think it’d be realistic for me to make them. Then there’s the trust issues on top of that. _And_ I was worried that I’d get attached to whoever I started talking to, and when I came out they’d just ditch me. You know what I mean?”

“I get that last part.” Lauren plays with Camila’s cold fingers. “I just don’t get why you didn’t think you making friends was realistic. You’re _amazing_ , Camz. You’re so genuinely kind and sweet and I know for a fact that you’d never do anything to hurt anyone. You’re hilariously fun to be around, and even though your jokes are kind of dumb sometimes, they’re still funny because they’re so… innocent. You don’t make jokes at anyone’s expense, you just make silly puns.”

Camila blushes. “You really think all of that?”

“Of course I do.” Lauren assures her. “It’s like… how could I not? It just sucks that you don’t see it, and part of that is because of some dumb things I did when we were twelve and I really want to make that up to you.”

“You already have.” Camila tells her for what feels like the umpteenth time. “Lo, you’re one of my closest friends. If I didn’t completely forgive you, you wouldn’t have that label, and you wouldn’t be sat in this room with me right now. If I hadn’t forgiven you, I wouldn’t let myself be alone with you unless it was absolutely necessary. I don’t think this interaction counts as necessary.”

Lauren looks down at her feet. “Camila, do you trust me?”

“Yes.” Camila answers that in a heartbeat. “I do.”

Lauren tries to contain her smile, but fails completely and looks up at Camila with a huge beam that could probably beat one of Ally’s literally made of sunshine smiles. “Okay. Good. That’s good.”

“Does that mean you’re going to give up with the whole ‘making it up to me’ thing? Because it’s really not necessary.” Camila assures her. “I don’t want you to act any different around me now that you know I’m Karla and I used to like you and maybe you hurt my feelings a little.”

Camila never thought she’d refer to the years of trauma as ‘hurt my feelings a little’, but she wanted to make Lauren feel at least a little bit better. _God_ , if someone told her seventh grade self that in eleventh grade she’d consider Lauren Jauregui one of her close friends and maybe still kind of had feelings for her, she’d have laughed in their face.

Lauren sighs. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to put any anger aside for the sake of the girls or something. If you didn’t want to be friends with me anymore, I’d totally get it. It wouldn’t change your friendship with them.”

Camila’s eyes widened. Where had _that_ come from? Lauren thought that she might only be forgiving her for the other girls? “Lo, no, that’s the last thing I want. I’m not just friends with you so I can be with them too. It’s like… at first I was just trying to be civil, you know? I figured that it would be for the best, and you were being so nice so I thought that if I was hostile I’d come off as a bitch and the other girls would hate me. But then it turns out that you weren’t this terrifying entity I’d assumed you were after the dance, and you’re actually wonderful. So I thought _screw it_ and decided to be friends, just keeping the small details that I might have known you before to myself.”

Lauren shakes her head. “Camz, you don’t-”

“ _Lauren_ , before you say anything mildly self-deprecating about how you ‘ _don’t deserve_ ’ my friendship or something, I’m going to stop you.” Camila interrupts her. “I’m closest to you out of all the girls, and I don’t want to lose that. I’m not going to let you throw that away just because you’re so delusional that you think I haven’t forgiven you even though I’ve told you about six hundred times that I do. So can we just… drop this? Put it in the past and not think about it again.”

Lauren hums in thought, and maintains a silence for a few moments. Then, she turns to Camila with a frown. “You know, this one time Dinah pushed me down the stairs.”

Camila blinks in confusion. That was unexpected. “What?”

“Yeah.” Lauren nods. “We were having this argument – not a serious one – and she got frustrated and shoved me, not realising that I was stood by the stairs. I ended up fracturing a bone in my arm because of it, and she literally _wouldn’t_ stop apologising. It was so annoying.”

Camila laughs. “Yeah, people who apologise for something you’ve forgiven them for is so frustrating, isn’t it?”

“It’s incredibly frustrating.” Lauren agrees with her, turning to her with a small smile. “I try my best not to do that. You know, if I pushed Dinah down the stairs, I’d stop apologising when I was sure she’d forgiven me.”

“Oh, really?” Camila raised her eyebrows. “So… hypothetically, if we had a disagreement in the past and you upset me and I forgave you, you’d stop apologising?”

“Yeah.” Lauren nods. “Of course, this is just hypothetical.”

“Oh, yeah, one hundred percent.” Camila can’t stop herself from smiling and tugging Lauren into a hug. “Thanks, Lo.”

“For what?” Lauren asks. “Are we still being hypothetical here? Because hypothetically… I should be thanking you.”

Camila pulls away and frowns. “What did I do to deserve your hypothetical thanks?”

Lauren shrugs and sends her a soft smile. “ _Hypothetically_ , you forgave me for our hypothetical disagreement. And I _guess_ that means we’ve levelled up in friendship points because of that.”

“Friendship points?” Camila laughs. “ _Really_?”

“You’re the one who introduced the whole ‘friendship levels’ thing. I’m just… adding to your structure.” Lauren defends herself. “So, to celebrate, I think we need to sort through all of your old boxes and laugh at how dorky you were. Well… _are_.”

Camila digs into the box in front of her and smiles. “Okay, but mark my words, I’ll find something on the dorky childhood of Lauren Michelle Jauregui. Trust me.”

Lauren snorts. “I think Karla Camila Cabello is _far_ dorkier than I was. Like, there wouldn’t even be a competition.”

While Camila usually _hates_ being called Karla, she has to admit that hearing it in Lauren’s raspy voice is nice. Maybe on occasion she’d allow it. “I mean… you’re probably right, but _still_. I can dream.”

“I guess you can.” Lauren gives her a playful nudge. “Maybe if you weren’t one hundred percent certain that I’d already made everything up to you, I’d show you a collection of the old embarrassing selfies and videos I used to post on Facebook.”

Camila smirks. While Lauren _has_ made it up to her, she’d love to see that. “Well… maybe you _haven’t_ made everything up to me. I was really sad when you didn’t even offer to get me punch. Like, seriously, Lauren. What kind of girl doesn’t get her date _punch_? That’s like, basic middle school dance etiquette.”

When Lauren bursts out laughing, Camila can’t help but laugh too. _God_ , never in her wildest _dreams_ had she thought she’d actually laugh and find some positivity in the night she’d had her first heartbreak. Especially since she was with the girl who had done the heartbreaking.

“I guess that means I owe you.” Lauren feigns sadness. “Maybe I’ll show you at our little slumber party when your parents approve it.”

“You’d better come prepared with _at least_ fifteen photos and… three videos.” Camila instructs, chewing down on her bottom lip in thought. “Oh, and some fruit punch.”

“Of course,” Lauren smiles, “can’t forget the crucial fruit punch. That’s basic middle school date etiquette, as you said.”

Camila rests her head on Lauren’s shoulder and smiles to herself. “This is going down as another one of those moments that show how happy you make me.”

Lauren lets out a sigh, but Camila is pretty sure that it’s a good one. “I can say the exact same thing.”


	5. Chapter 5

“Nope.”

“ _Yes_.”

“No. Not happening.”

Lauren sighs at her and turns around to Dinah, who is occupied with splashing Ally with as much sea water as she can. “Dinah. Tell Camz she’s being boring.”

“Mila, you’re being boring.” Dinah reiterates. “Just give up and come in the water. Lauser’s stubborn as hell when she wants to be.”

“I’m not coming in the damn water.” Camila folds her arms across her chest and tries to show that she’s putting her foot down. While she might’ve said yes to Lauren earlier, that was before the other girl got into her bikini and Camila caught a glimpse of her toned abs. There’s no way she’s going to be in a bikini around someone who looks like _that_.

Lauren pouts. “But… _Camz_ , you promised.”

“I think you’ll find that I didn’t promise.” Camila replies, and turns back to her book. “I only agreed because you made me feel guilty with your sad little puppy dog eyes. But then we established that you’ve made everything up to me. Therefore, there’s no need for me to come in the water.”

“That’s just _rude_ , Karla.” Lauren folds her arms across her chest and sits down on Camila’s towel. “Didn’t your mother teach you any manners?”

“Don’t Karla me.” Camila looks up with a scowl. “I don’t like it.”

Instead of rolling her eyes and telling her that it’s ‘just a name’ like her mother would, Lauren sends her an apologetic smile. “Sorry. Won’t happen again. Unless I want to annoy you. Just… come in the water? Please? I know you have your swimsuit on under there.”

“Just because I’m wearing it, doesn’t mean I’m comfortable being in it.” Camila points out. “Can we just drop it? _Please_?”

Lauren sighs and collapses next to Camila on her towel. “ _Fine_. Guess I’m not going in the water either, then.”

“Nothing’s stopping you.” Camila marks her place in her book and shifts onto her side to face Lauren. “Go. I’m fine over here by myself.”

“I want to go in the water with you.” Lauren pouts again and Camila tries to resist her sudden cuteness. “ _Please_ , Camzi? It’d be fun. I promise.”

Camila tries to ignore the way her heart flutters when Lauren calls her _Camzi_ , and shakes her head. “I don’t want to go in.”

“You can keep your shirt on.” Lauren compromises. “You don’t have to be _completely_ in your bathing suit. Nobody will think you’re weird for keeping a t-shirt on.”

For some reason, Camila doesn’t entirely believe her. “Yeah, and if I’m going to do that, I might as well tattoo ‘insecure about my body’ on my forehead. I can’t win either way.”

“If it means anything, I think your body is beautiful.” Lauren sends her a genuine smile. “If you really don’t want to go in, I’ll drop it.”

Camila feels a little guilty. She _had_ told Lauren she’d go in. Five minutes couldn’t hurt, right? “I mean… maybe- for like, five minutes? You know, if it’ll get you to shut up about it.”

The smile on Lauren’s face makes Camila feel like agreeing was definitely worth it. Lauren’s practically radiating happiness when she grabs Camila’s hand and pulls her up.

“I knew I’d convince you.” Lauren flashes a proud smile. “I could be a lawyer with my skills. I’m putting that on my college application – ‘managed to convince Camila Cabello to swim with me’. They’ll totally let me in with that achievement.”

“There’s no way they’d be able to turn you away.” Camila smiles at her as she pulls her shorts down and drops them on her towel. She plays with the hem of her shirt, and thinks _screw it_ , highly doubting that Lauren would look at her.

She throws her shirt on the towel and stands clad in her bikini, fiddling with her fingers. She glances up to see Lauren looking her over, and her face flushes, but it isn’t long before Lauren grabs her by the wrist and pulls her towards the ocean.

“Honestly, Camz, you have nothing to worry about.” Lauren tells her, and while Camila knows what she’s referring to, she elects to keep her mouth shut.

“Walz,” Dinah calls out, “told you she’d get you in here.”

“Shut up.” Camila folds her arms across her chest. “It’s not my fault she’s so persuasive.”

“Really?” Ally raises her eyebrows and pauses only to splash Dinah. “Lauren is never usually that good at persuading people. What’d she say?”

Camila thinks for a moment. Really, all Lauren had done was give her the puppy dog eyes and call her Camzi. But she isn’t going to admit that she was swayed that easily. “Oh, she just wouldn’t stop annoying me. I agreed to five minutes in the water as long as she shuts up about it after.”

“Couldn’t you have just put your earphones in and ignored her?” Normani sends Dinah a knowing smirk, which the Polynesian girl returns. “Surely she wasn’t _that_ annoying?”

Lauren smiles to herself. “Camz couldn’t resist the puppy dog eyes.”

Dinah snorts. “ _That’s_ all it took?”

Camila turns bright red and shakes her head, going out of her way to splash Lauren with as much water as possible. “No, definitely not. It took _way_ more than that.”

Lauren splashes her right back. “ _Camz_ , it’s rude to splash people. And stop lying, you were a sucker for my sad face.”

Again, Camila catches Dinah and Normani sharing an odd look, and she doesn’t have time to decipher it because Lauren sends another bucket load of water her way. “It’s rude to splash people? Why are you splashing me then?”

“Because I can.” Lauren easily answers. That’s accompanied by another splash. “You get this little offended look on your face and it’s hilarious.”

“Lauren Michelle Jauregui, I swear I’m going to get extreme revenge if you keep splashing me.” Camila pokes Lauren in the arm. “Fear me.”

Lauren snorts. “What’re you going to do? You’re _tiny_. I’d beat you at your own game. And don’t middle name me, _Karla_ Camila Cabello.”

Camila splashes Lauren as much as she can. “Jerk. I told you not to Karla me. It’s annoying enough when my mom does it, but I have to deal with it from you, too? I mean, admittedly it’s nicer when you do it because you could make anything sound nice, but- I’m rambling. Aren’t I?”

“Hate to break it to you, but yeah, you are.” Lauren nudges her playfully. “Now what’s this about me making anything sound nice, hm?”

Camila’s cheeks turn bright red and she ignores the question completely, instead turning to Dinah. “So, Dinah. How are you today?”

Dinah snorts with laughter. “You’re not using me as a distraction, Chancho.”

“Chancho?” Camila raises her eyebrows. “Did you just call me a pig?”

“Yes, but _lovingly_.” Dinah defends herself. “Now go back to bickering with Lauser.”

“Whatever, _Cheechee_.” Camila feels proud of herself for the nicknames she’s managed to make up on the spot so far. Ignoring Dinah’s reaction, she turns around and smiles at Lauren again. “So, I think it’s been five minutes. I’ll see you whenever you get out of the water.”

Lauren’s face sinks into a frown and she grabs Camila by the wrist. “Wait, where are you going? Is this because I kept splashing you? Because I can stop that.”

“No, it’s not that,” Camila assures her. “I’ve just had enough.”

Lauren doesn’t seem very satisfied with that answer. “Are you sure that’s it?”

“Positive.” Camila makes her way out of the water and heads back over to her towel, a little confused when she sees Lauren close behind her. “Aren’t you staying in the water?”

“Nope.” Lauren shakes her head. “I’m staying with you. Is that okay?”

Camila blushes. Lauren really wants to spend time with her? “That’s fine. I won’t be doing anything very interesting though.”

Lauren raises her eyebrows. “What, like reading your book and being antisocial?”

“Exactly like that.” Camila smiles and sits back down on her towel, brushing the sand off her legs. She looks longingly over at the t-shirt and shorts she’d left there, but knows that she can’t put them on yet. Not if she wants to be wet and uncomfortable for the rest of the day. So, she resolves to lay out on her towel clad in her bikini, and makes space for Lauren to sit next to her. “You really should go back to the girls if you don’t want to be bored. I’m not good company when I’m reading.”

“Yeah?” Lauren reaches into her bag and pulls out her phone and earbuds. “Well, I’m not good company when I’m tanning, either.”

Camila smiles to herself when Lauren puts her earbuds in and lays back on the towel, positioning her sunglasses over her eyes. She smiles even more when she feels Lauren snake an arm around her waist and pull her closer, and gets herself comfortable next to her friend.

She tries not to enjoy being in Lauren’s arms too much; she knows that her feelings are slightly more than platonic, and she really wants to avoid liking her. Having a crush on her in middle school was hard enough, and now there was the risk of losing their friendship. She wasn’t going to wreck things because of some stupid crush.

Camila has read at least ten more chapters of her book when a shadow falls over her and Lauren. Looking up, she expects it to be Dinah, Ally or Normani, but blinks in confusion when it isn’t.

Lauren sits up and lifts her sunglasses from her eyes. “Keana?”

“Uh… hey, Lauren.” The girl, Keana, sends Lauren an awkward smile. “I haven’t seen you since eighth grade. How have you been?”

“Fine.” Lauren casts a concerned glance over at Camila, and the dots connect in Camila’s mind. Keana Issartel. One of Lauren’s old friends. One of her old tormentors. “You?”

“I’ve been good, actually. Vero and Alexa are actually just over at the ice cream store. You should come and hang with us.” Keana offers. “It’d be good to catch up. You just dropped off the face of the earth after our middle school graduation.”

“Um… I would, but I don’t want to ditch my friends.” Lauren subtly grabs Camila’s hand and gives it a soft squeeze, as if she senses how tense she is. “That’d be kind of rude.”

“No worries.” Keana smiles, and finally acknowledges Camila. She looks her over for a moment and her eyes narrow in suspicion. “Hey, isn’t this K-”

“This is my friend, Camila.” Lauren is quick to interrupt her. “She just moved here a few months ago from California.”

Keana looks her over again, and eventually her smile comes back, but it’s still wary. “Oh, okay. I just thought you looked a little familiar.”

Camila shrugs. “Maybe I am, if you’ve ever been to Orange County before.”

“I can’t say I have.” Keana’s gaze lingers on Camila for a few more moments before she turns back to Lauren. She taps around on her phone for a moment and holds it out in Lauren’s direction. “Is this still your phone number?”

Lauren reads it over. “Uh… yeah. Why?”

“I’ll call you sometime. We can make plans with the rest of the girls and catch up.” Keana turns around and starts walking away, calling out behind her. “It’ll be fun. I’ll be in touch!”

Camila glances over to Lauren and bites down on her lip. “She nearly recognised me.”

“She didn’t, though.” Lauren doesn’t take her eyes off of Keana until she’s merely a speck in the distance. “Don’t worry about them. That group, I mean. I’m not meeting up with them.”

Camila frowns. “You aren’t?”

“Nope.” Lauren flashes Camila a smile. “I’m not. They were jerks. I don’t like jerks.”

“Not many people can say they do.” Camila replies. “Thank you for not telling her it was me. I’m sure she would’ve been fine with picking up right where we left off.”

“Even if she knew it was you, I wouldn’t let her.” Lauren squeezes her hand one last time and lets go. “I’d defend you.”

Camila feels heat creeping up into her face. “You really wouldn’t have to-”

“I want to. You’re one of my best friends.” Lauren tells her. “Besides, I should’ve defended you a long time ago, anyway.”

Camila shrugs. “I’m over that. Like I told you earlier, I definitely don’t blame you.”

Lauren sighs, but thankfully, doesn’t push the matter. “Can we just… get comfy again?”

“Not so fast,” Normani stops them before they can settle back down in the position they were in before. “No getting comfortable. We’re going to get ice cream. Do you guys want anything?”

Lauren shakes her head. “I’m fine. Camz?”

“Uh, yeah… I’ll get ice cream with you guys.” Camila stands up and grabs her t-shirt and shorts, quickly tugging them on again. That’s enough bikini for the day. “Are you sure you don’t want anything, Lo?”

“I’ll be fine.” Lauren pulls her sunglasses back over her eyes again. “See you in a few minutes.”

Camila follows Normani towards the ice cream shop; Dinah and Ally are nearly halfway there, but it only takes a few moments to catch up to them.

“So,” Dinah turns on her almost immediately, “You and Lauren are getting close, aren’t you?”

Camila frowns at her. “Yeah. So? She’s my friend. It’s normal to get closer to someone when you get to know them.”

Normani rolls her eyes. “Dinah, she’s basically oblivious. Leave her alone.”

Dinah just laughs. “Walz, do you like her?”

Camila blinks in confusion. “I’m sorry, _what_?”

“Don’t harass her, Dinah.” Ally scolds her. “You don’t know how comfortable she is with how she identifies. She might not even know.”

Camila frowns to herself. “You guys think I like Lauren? Like, romantically?”

“Well… honestly, Mila, it isn’t that hard to believe.” Normani shrugs. “You always blush when she’s around and you do pretty much anything she wants.”

“You’re whipped, Walz,” Dinah smirks at her. “It’s cute though.”

Camila bites down on her bottom lip. Was she really so obvious that all of them could tell? “Look, I… I don’t like Lauren like that. I _am_ gay, but I don’t like her like that. She’s my friend, and she’s not even my type.”

That last part was a definite lie, but Camila hopes she’s pulled it off properly. Thankfully, Ally and Normani look convinced, but Dinah? Not at all.

“You’re gay?” Ally flashes her a wide smile. “Does Lauren know?”

“Yeah. I told her at her sleepover.” Camila replies. “She told me she was bi, and she thought I had a problem with it. I told her I didn’t and that I liked girls too.”

“Aw, that’s adorable.” Normani beams. “Imagine if you’d known each other when you lived here before. Maybe then you’d have been best friends or something because of your mutual non-straightness.”

Camila lets out a nervous laugh. “Yeah, maybe.”

“Maybe they’d have helped each other figure things out.” Dinah teases her. “You know… experimenting.”

Camila nearly chokes on air and shakes her head quickly. “Yeah, no way. I mean, Lauren is really pretty and stuff but I doubt she’d have liked me back then. Like… at all.”

Thinking back to Lauren’s sleepover, she remembers the revelation that had shocked her the most. Lauren had _kind of liked her back_. She still thinks that’s incredibly hard to believe, but if she’d kind of liked her back then, there was a possibility that she could like her now. Right?

Ally’s smile only wavers for a moment. “She likes you now. I highly doubt you’re _that_ different from your middle school self. It was only… four years ago? That’s not too long if you think about it.”

“Well, whatever.” Camila shrugs, desperate to get off this topic. She scans over the little menu at the ice cream shop, not really reading it, and then says. “I’ll have banana flavour. I’ll give you the money when we get back to Lauren. My wallet is in her bag.”

They get their ice creams, and Ally and Normani walk ahead, apparently planning on finishing their ice creams as quickly as they can so they can all go for a walk on the boardwalk, which Camila thinks she’ll probably sit out on.

“So… you’re _certain_ you don’t have a thing for Lauren?”

Camila rolls her eyes at Dinah. “Of course I don’t.”

“Okay then.” Surprisingly, Dinah drops the subject. “Just checking.”

“It’s ridiculous that you guys could think I like her, honestly. We’re just-” Camila cuts herself off when Lauren comes into view and there’s someone else with her. Sat on _her_ towel. “Who’s that?”

Dinah follows Camila’s gaze. “I don’t know.”

As Camila approaches, she grows more and more apprehensive. She vaguely recognises the girl, and hopes that she’s wrong in her assumptions. If she’s right, she doesn’t know what she’ll do.

She gets close enough to hear their conversation, and cringes when she hears her name mentioned. She glances over the girl again and feels even tenser than she did when Keana came over. This time it’s worse. Alexa Ferrer. Ringleader of the bullies. Of course.

“Middle school was great though, wasn’t it?” Alexa says. “We had so many good times. Our sleepovers were legendary.”

“Uh, yeah, I guess so.” Camila can tell that Lauren feels a little awkward, and she doesn’t know whether or not she’s relieved. She guesses that it’s a good thing. “We used to stay up all night taking stupid online quizzes.”

“To be honest, knowing what kind of donut you are is pretty crucial information.” Alexa laughs. “Remember that girl? The one that was like… obsessed with you? That lesbian… _Karla_. Oh my god, that dance was so funny. She _genuinely_ thought you liked her. I feel kind of bad, to be honest… she was ugly _and_ stupid.”

Lauren bristles. There’s honest to god _bristling_ going on. “She wasn’t ugly. Or stupid. Do you really not feel sorry about that? Like, at all?”

Alexa frowns. “Since when did you feel bad about that? You found it as funny as we did. And I think I can recall a few times when you mocked her appearance just like the rest of us.”

Lauren looks like she’s about to implode from anger or _something_ , and Camila clears her throat and acts as casually as she can. “Uh… hey, Lo. Who’s your friend?”

“Oh… Camz,” Lauren flashes her an awkward smile. “This is Alexa. Alexa, this is my friend Camila.”

Alexa looks her over for a moment, similarly to the way Keana had, but she seems a lot more suspicious. “Camila. Right. Nice to meet you.”

“Uh… you too.” Camila responds, shifting uncomfortably. “Uh, Lauren, you said you’d take me home now? That’s why I came over.”

Lauren frowns at her, but plays along. “Oh, yeah… Alexa, I should probably get going. It was nice to see you again, though.”

Lauren gets up and dusts any residual sand from her, but doesn’t notice the way Alexa looks over at Camila again. Camila swears she sees a flash of recognition in the other girl’s eyes, but assures herself that it’s just her mind playing tricks on her.

Camila gives Alexa one last look before she feels Lauren grab her wrist and walk her in a random direction.

“Sorry. Keana told her I was here and she came over to talk.” Lauren sighs. “She kind of roped me into the conversation. I kept trying to get her to leave, but it was impossible. Thanks for rescuing me.”

Camila laughs. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I just… find it hard to believe.” Lauren murmurs to herself, leaving Camila more than a little bit confused.

“You find what hard to believe?” Camila presses.

“That at one point in my life, I was friends with her over you.”

Camila shrugs. “It was middle school. We all make dumb choices and go through weird phases.”

“True.” Lauren laughs. “Do you really want to go home?”

“Nope.” Camila shakes her head. “But I think we should go for a walk for a little while before going back to the girls.”

“Okay.” Lauren grabs Camila’s hand and smiles to herself. “I’d like that.”

Camila looks down at their hands and flushes to herself. She puts holding Lauren Jauregui’s hand in the top five most amazing things that’s ever happened to her, and happily follows Lauren along the beach.

Really, she can’t say she regrets coming along to the beach one bit.  


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for homophobia/homophobic slurs  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YsWpayZiHY - video Camila and Lauren watch.

“You _can’t_ embarrass me, okay?” Camila folds her arms across her chest and stares her mom down as best she can. “I’m so glad that Sofi is staying at a friend’s. We both know how she can get when it comes to saying things I don’t want her to in front of my friends.”

Sinu laughs. “You weren’t that bothered when I met your friends for the first time. Why are you so worried now?”

“Because you were meeting all of them at once.” Camila explains, not disclosing the real reason. The last things she needs is her mom teasing her about her crush on Lauren. “It was like… I was ripping the band aid off. And there was more people there to distract you. This time it’s just Lauren coming over, and I happen to care about what she thinks of me.”

Sinu sends her a knowing smile. “You must have a thing for Laurens. I remember when you were younger you used to mention a Lauren who was ‘so pretty, mama’.”

Camila rolls her eyes. “I don’t like this Lauren in that way. Okay? She’s my friend and I’m not going to ruin that. All I said was that I don’t want you to embarrass me in front of her.”

“I’m not making any promises, Karla.” Sinu responds. “I think the same goes for your papi.”

Camila huffs, but its effect is lessened by the soft smile she sends her mother’s way. “I’m being honest when I say I don’t like her like that.”

Before Sinu has time to reply, the doorbell rings and Camila practically sprints to answer it. Before she answers the door, she takes a moment to straighten out the casual dress she’s wearing and check that her hair looks okay, and then she puts on a smile.

“Hey,” She greets her friend as she opens the door, “how are you?”

“Hey, Camz.” Lauren passes by her and Camila takes in her lavender perfume as she takes her shoes off. “I’m good. I had a softball thing earlier which was pretty tiring, but that just makes me all the more ready to eat pizza and watch Netflix.”

“You had a softball thing?” Camila frowns at her. “You should’ve told me. I would’ve been there for you.”

“I didn’t think you’d be all that interested in softball, Camz.” Lauren says, and Camila wants to reply with ‘ _no, I’m interested in you’_ but she manages to hold her tongue. “Besides, it was just a practice. Next time I’ll let you know.”

“Good.” Camila smiles and nods towards the stairs. “Do you want to head up to my room? We can watch some TV before we order our pizzas. Or we could watch it downstairs if you don’t want to go in my room, I’m sure my dad wouldn’t mind-”

“Camila,” Lauren interrupts her, “you’re rambling. Let’s go upstairs. We’ll have to go up there to sleep anyway.”

“Yeah, good point.” Camila blushes, and heads up the stairs in front of Lauren. She really doesn’t know why she’s so jumpy; she’s hung out with Lauren alone before. Maybe it’s because that was in the living room, where anyone could walk in. This was different somehow. It was her bedroom. “So, how did the softball game go?”

Lauren shrugs. “We won, but it was pretty close. How was your day?”

“Oh, I didn’t do anything. I just hung out with my sister until my mom dropped her off at her friend’s house.” Camila replies, not mentioning how she and Sofi had recreated most of the songs in the High School Musical trilogy while her mom filmed it. That really wasn’t something she wanted Lauren to see. “Softball sounds way more interesting than that.”

Lauren follows Camila into her room and almost immediately gravitates towards the other girl’s dresser, noticing the few photographs on it. Ignoring Camila’s comment about softball, she points to the pictures. “What are these?”

Camila walks over to Lauren and picks up one of the pictures, a dorky selfie she’d taken with Sofi and printed out. While she doesn’t have a wall of photos like Lauren, she likes to keep a few special memories close to her.

“Just a few things that I like to have there. Reminds me of good times with my family, you know?” Camila explains, before walking over and sitting down on her bed. She pats the spot next to her, but Lauren doesn’t move. “Come and sit down.”

Lauren reaches into her bag and pulls out a polaroid camera, sitting down on the bed next to Camila. She shuffles behind Camila and rests her head on her shoulder, holding out the camera and snapping a picture of the two of them. Once the photo develops, she passes it to Camila. “There. Another addition to your dresser.”

Camila takes the photo and smiles to herself, putting it up with the other pictures. She tries to hide her blush when she turns back around. “Thanks, Lo. It means a lot that you’d want to be up there.”

“Of course I would, Camz,” Lauren rolls her eyes and then ungracefully flops onto Camila’s bed. “So, what’s the plan? What’re we watching and when are we getting pizza?”

“Whatever you want and whenever you want.” Camila instantly replies. Honestly, she hadn’t exactly planned anything for tonight. She’d just kind of hoped that things would happen as they happened. “I don’t mind.”

Lauren rolls her eyes. “This night is all about you, though. I’m here because this is what you wanted to do, so you have to pick what shows we watch and stuff. That, and it’s your house and I’m pretty indecisive.”

“Well… you don’t happen to be in possession of that long overdue fruit punch, do you?” Camila raises an eyebrow and sends Lauren a playful smirk. “Because it’s been like four years since you were supposed to get me some.”

Lauren laughs, and reaches into her overnight bag to pull out a bottle of punch. “I may have come prepared. Here you go, m’lady.”

Camila smiles as Lauren passes her the bottle. “M’lady, huh? Wow, Jauregui, you’re very courteous to your middle school dates.”

“I wouldn’t call it courtesy, considering it was a four year walk all the way to the punch bowl for that.” Lauren smiles knowingly. “It’s basic middle school etiquette, isn’t it?”

“Duh,” Camila laughs and rests her head on Lauren’s shoulder. “I appreciate the effort though. That punch bowl was all the way in a different state. Must’ve taken you forever.”

“It did,” Lauren nods her head in agreement. “I wrestled like, _six_ alligators to get that. I’m kind of a big deal.”

“I guess I can say that I have the most hardcore date to an already-over dance.” Camila grins. “Not many people can say that.”

“I think you’re the only person that can say that.” Lauren counters. “You’d better appreciate my efforts, Cabello. I’m basically one of a kind.”

“Maybe I’ll appreciate your efforts when I get to see the embarrassing childhood pictures I was promised.” Camila nearly bursts out laughing when Lauren groans in annoyance. “What, did you think I’d forget about that? Nope. A Cabello never forgets.”

Lauren huffs. “You wouldn’t really want me to show you those. You don’t want your friend to die of embarrassment, do you?”

“I think you being embarrassed is good enough revenge for you outing me.” Camila folds her arms across her chest. “Photos. Now.”

“Fine,” Lauren digs through her bag and pulls out a stack of photographs. She keeps the backs of the images turned away from Camila. “Are you sure you want to do this? Because-”

“No excuses, Jauregui.” Camila pokes Lauren in the arm. “While I’ve already forgiven you for hurting me back in middle school, I think little thirteen year old Karla needs a good laugh. She’s waiting.”

Lauren sighs and holds out the photos in her direction, and honestly, considering they’re Facebook pictures from when she was younger, she doesn’t look that bad. In fact, Camila thinks that fetus Lauren is kind of adorable.

“You’re such a jerk, Lo.” Camila rolls her eyes as she looks through the pictures. “These aren’t even _bad_.”

Lauren frowns. “I think they’re bad. I picked the worst ones.”

“And typically, thirteen year old you is adorable in every single one of these pictures.” Camila gives the pictures back to Lauren with a sigh. “Damn you, Jauregui.”

Lauren looks at the pictures again with a frown. “Honestly, Camz, these are the bad ones. Feel free to scroll through my Facebook and find worse ones, but I doubt you will.”

Camila rolls her eyes. “It’s not my fault that you’re incredibly photogenic.”

Lauren snorts. “I was like,  _thirteen_. I look like a peanut.”

“A peanut?” Camila can’t stop herself from laughing. “Out of all the things you could’ve compared yourself to, you pick a peanut?”

Lauren shrugs and rolls her eyes. “It was the first thing that came to mind, okay? But whatever, these are bad pictures. Embrace them.”

“Ugh, fine,” Camila sighs and turns her laptop around to Lauren, Facebook open on her browser, “I think I was promised some videos too though.”

“I don’t even know if there _are_ any videos. I think I deleted them a long time ago.” Lauren logs into her Facebook account and scrolls through her profile for a while. “I can’t find any right now.”

Camila snorts. “You’re only in 2014, Lo. You’re not getting out of it that easily.”

“Well, whatever,” Lauren turns the laptop around to Camila, “you go digging for them then.”

Camila takes the computer and starts scrolling. “Oh, I will.”

To her dismay, there’s nothing. Literally _no_ embarrassing videos of thirteen year old Lauren. What a shame.

When Camila passes the laptop back to Lauren with a loud, overexaggerated sigh, Lauren just laughs. “What? I think fifteen year old me thought ahead and deleted everything so present me wouldn’t have to deal with the inevitable embarrassment that would’ve come with showing you any weird videos.”

Camila just scoffs in response. “Yeah, well, present Camila has decided she doesn’t like fifteen year old Lauren much. Damn her.”

Lauren laughs. “I like her. She thought ahead. Very practical of me.”

“You’re lucky I’m already attached to you.” Camila huffs. “Otherwise that horrifically anticlimactic bad picture reveal would have definitely broken any forgiveness I’d given you. I was really excited to see some bad photos of you, too.”

“Wait, no,” Lauren laughs when she finds something on her profile, “here’s a video. It’s, um… are you okay with watching this?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Camila looks back at the screen with a frown. “I need to grab the popcorn because this is going to be hilarious.”

“It’s birthday post from Alexa.” Lauren replies, pushing the laptop to her. “Watch it if you want. It’s probably really cringy, you’ll enjoy it.”

“As much as I don’t like the thought of you being friends with her, I’ll watch it.” Camila pulls the laptop towards her and presses play. “Because thirteen year old Lauren owes me.”

Lauren rolls her eyes as Camila laughs at the video, because Lauren is right – it _is_ really cringy. While Alexa’s presence puts a little bit of a downer on her mood, it’s still funny, because every time she turns to look at Lauren and sees the older Latina’s flushed cheeks and irritated scowl, it just makes her laugh more.

“You know you’re a jerk, right?” Lauren asks her when Camila closes the tab with a laugh. “I could’ve easily deleted that when you weren’t looking. Or at least untagged myself.”

“But you didn’t, because you know that thirteen year old Lauren owes me some cringe.” Camila snorts when she thinks back to the video. “Really, that entire thing was _embarrassing_.”

“Your _face_ is embarrassing.” Lauren mutters, folding her arms across her chest. “Because you’re a _jerk_.”

Camila rolls her eyes. “No need to resort to petty insults, Lo. It’s not my fault your thirteen year old self was actually secretly cringy.”

“It was _middle school_.” Lauren defends herself. “Everyone is stupid in middle school.”

“I’ll have you know that my middle school self didn’t post things like this on the internet.” Camila points out with a laugh. “She did gush about you a lot on her Myspace, though. My internet friends at the time knew a lot about ‘green eyes’. That was your code name.”

Instead of laughing at her like she expects her to, Lauren sends her a fond smile. “That’s not embarrassing, though. That’s cute.”

“You just think it’s cute because you know that twelve year old me had only positive comments.” Camila nudges her playfully. “Generally about how _mysterious_ I thought you were.”

This time Lauren laughs. “You’re ridiculous, Camz. You could’ve just talked to me. I don’t bite.”

“Yeah, but your _friends_ did,” Camila fires back, “I was too scared of them to say anything to you. I figured if I didn’t interact with you, the crush would go away, but it just got worse because every time I shared a class with you I’d look over and the light would be hitting you perfectly and you’d look like a fucking _goddess_ and- I just realised what I’m saying and that’s… basically the definition of embarrassing.”

Lauren throws an arm around Camila’s shoulder and squeezes her. “I don’t think it’s embarrassing. I know you used to like me and it’s not a big deal.”

Camila bites down on her lip, because the whole _used to_ part of that sentence is completely irrelevant. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything by- me liking you back then. I don’t anymore, I promise.”

Something flashes in Lauren’s eyes, but it’s gone too quickly for Camila to decipher it. “Yeah, I know. It doesn’t make me uncomfortable. I know your feelings now are strictly platonic.”

After a short awkward silence, Camila clears her throat and stands up. “Um- so, do you want to watch a movie?”

“Sure,” Lauren looks kind of distracted as she answers, and she reaches into the bag she’s brought with her and pulls out her sweatpants and a hoodie. “Is it cool if I get into my pyjamas now? We’re not going anywhere, are we?”

“Nope. Feel free to- um, dress down.” Camila says, her eyes widening when she realises what could’ve been implied. “Wait, no, I didn’t mean like, get naked or anything. I just meant dress down as in take off your clothes- _no,_ that came out wrong.Take off the ones you're wearing now and put on other ones. Like, comfy ones. And take your makeup off and all of that.”

Lauren laughs. “You’re a professional at word vomit, Camz.”

“Yeah, I realised,” Camila sighs and grabs her own pyjamas from under her pillow. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologise,” Lauren grins at her as she stands up and heads towards the bathroom. “I’ll be back. Just going to go and get naked.”

Camila glowers to herself, because now she’s got an image of naked Lauren in her head, and that’s really not something she wants to be thinking about. “I hate you.”

“Lies,” Lauren smirks, leaning against the door frame of the bathroom, “you know, I actually do get naked when I’m home alone. Or when I know nobody’s going to come in my room. It’s nice.”

“Shut your mouth and get changed.” Camila flushes bright red, because Lauren’s really not helping right now.

While Lauren is in the bathroom, Camila quickly gets into her onesie and sits down on the bed, absentmindedly flipping through Netflix. When her friend returns, Camila inwardly curses her, because _of course_ Lauren looks good in sweatpants and an oversized hoodie. Naturally.

“Aren’t you going to go and take your makeup off?” Lauren asks her when she sits down. “Then your ‘dressing down’ is complete.”

Camila sighs. “But I just got comfy. I’ll do it when I move next.”

“Okay,” To Camila’s complete surprise, Lauren moves closer to her and wraps an arm around her waist, “what are we watching? The rest of the _Saw_ series?”

“Definitely not.” Camila rolls her eyes at Lauren’s joke, but cuddles up to her and tries to conceal her smile. “How do you feel about _Star Wars_?”

“I’m definitely here for young Harrison Ford,” Lauren laughs as Camila presses play on _A New Hope_ , “and young Carrie Fisher is pretty nice to look at too.”

“Honestly, if we’re going to talk hot characters, Jar Jar Binks definitely takes the cake,” Camila jokes, feeling a little proud of herself when she actually makes Lauren laugh. “I’m kidding. Natalie Portman in the prequels though…”

“Anakin is hot in _Revenge of the Sith_ ,” Lauren says, “you know, until he goes all psycho and becomes Darth Vader.”

Camila shrugs. “I don’t know, I don’t really pay attention to the guys.”

“This is why I’m glad I’m bi. I can stare at everyone in TV shows and movies.” Lauren replies, and Camila nearly has a heart attack when the older Latina threads their fingers together. “We should get the girls together one day and have a _Harry Potter_ marathon. Or any marathon. We should do it as a sleepover and stay up all night binge watching.”

At the change of subject, Camila hums. “Yeah. Sounds like fun.”

They manage to get through the original three _Star Wars_ movies, their pizzas arriving midway through the second film, and Camila is on the brink of falling asleep when Lauren reaches over her to grab the TV remote and start the prequels.

“Don’t, Lo,” Camila interrupts her, “I’m going to be asleep in like, five minutes. There’s no point in putting another movie on.”

Lauren hums, and her grip on Camila tightens slightly. “Okay. I’ll just put an episode of a show on or something.”

Whatever show Lauren picks, Camila has no idea, because she’s drifted off to sleep within the next few minutes. Even though falling asleep next to Lauren is generally rather wonderful, what Camila dreams about really isn’t.

-

_“Hey, Karla, can I talk to you for a moment?”_

_Camila blinks in confusion and turns on her heels, her face turning a bright red colour when she sees Lauren Jauregui walking up to her. While Lauren never really talks to her, she hangs around with Alexa and the rest of her group. Sometimes she gets involved with Camila’s bullying, but it’s only been the occasional name calling or laughing along with her friend’s taunts._

_But that’s not really what has Camila as nervous as she is. Mostly, it’s because she has an enormous crush on her._

_“Uh… me, Karla?” Camila points to herself and looks around, double checking that there doesn’t happen to be another Karla in the area. “Why do you want to talk to me?”_

_Lauren comes to a stop in front of her and sends her a breathtaking smile. “Um, actually, I wanted to ask you something.”_

_“Oh, do you need help with your schoolwork or something?” Camila hates herself for getting her hopes up that it would be about something else, but she knows that Lauren wouldn’t talk to her unless it was necessary. After all, she was friends with Alexa. “I’m free right now and the library is open until four, we could study now if you wanted?”_

_Lauren laughs, and the sound is music to Camila’s ears. “No, uh, actually, I wanted to talk to you about the dance in a few weeks? I was wondering if maybe you’d want to go with me. Like… as a date.”_

_Camila’s heart stops, and when it finally starts going again, it overcompensates. “I- you- you actually want to take me to the dance? You… you like me?”_

_She swears she can see a flash of something in Lauren’s eyes, but it’s gone before she can decipher it. “I do like you. So… is that a yes?”_

_Camila’s face breaks out into the biggest smile she thinks she’s ever smiled, and the only smile she’s ever smiled in this school. “I’d love to go with you! Oh my god, I can’t believe you asked me! This is amazing. I- that’s… I just, I’ve liked you for a while and I never really knew how to approach you and this whole time, you’ve liked me back! Sorry, I’m rambling, I’m just so excited.”_

_Lauren lets out an awkward laugh. “Yeah. I’m excited too. I’ll see you at the dance, then?”_

_“Yeah. See you at the dance.” Camila can’t move the smile from her face. “Bye, Lauren.”_

_Lauren flashes her a smile as she leaves. “Bye, Karla.”_

_-_

_“Wow…” Camila breathes as she takes a look over Lauren’s attire. She’s wearing a little black dress and her hair and makeup has clearly been done by someone very skilled at that kind of thing. Camila, on the other hand, is wearing a dress she’d been bought at the weekend, and what little makeup she’s wearing was done by her mother. “You look really gorgeous tonight, Lauren.”_

_Lauren actually blushes because of her compliment. “Thanks, Karla. You look really pretty too.”_

_“I do?” Camila stammers in confusion. “Thank you. That really means a lot. Do you want to go inside?”_

_Lauren glances towards the doors hesitantly, but nods. “Yeah, okay.”_

_Camila jumps in shock when Lauren grabs hold of her hand, and looks down in surprise. “You’re holding my hand?”_

_“Well, yeah.” Lauren looks at her like she’s grown another head. “This is a date, isn’t it? You’re supposed to hold your date’s hand.”_

_“Oh.” Camila blushes in embarrassment. “I’ve never been on a date before. I’ve never really met a girl that I liked aside from you. Have you been on a date before?”_

_“Yeah, with Keaton, my boyfriend.” Lauren stills for a moment, before correcting herself. “Ex-boyfriend.”_

_“Oh, that’s really sad that you had a breakup.” Camila comments, before she brightens up again. “But then, if you hadn’t, you wouldn’t be here with me. So I guess it worked out.”_

_“Yeah, I guess.” Lauren hums in agreement. “So… Karla… what do you like to do for fun?”_

_“I read a lot.” Camila says. “I love books. You play softball, don’t you? I’ll come to one of your games next year if you want me to.”_

_Lauren blinks at her in surprise as they sit down. “You’d come to my softball games?”_

_“Well, yeah,” Camila nods. “I like you, so I’d want to support you, you know?”_

_Lauren hums to herself in surprise. “Wow. Okay. That’s cool.”_

_Camila sees Lauren smile at someone behind her, and Camila turns around to see Alexa. She frowns to herself as the other girl comes over; the night had been going so well, and Camila didn’t want that to be ruined._

_“Hey, Laur.” Alexa flashes her friend a smile, but the smile is different when she looks down at Camila. “Karla. Are you enjoying your night so far?”_

_Camila blinks in confusion. “Uh… yeah. I am.”_

_“Good.” Alexa replies, her tone taunting and malicious. “I’ll see you two around.”_

_Once Alexa is out of earshot, Camila looks at Lauren. “What did she mean by that? And why was she looking at me like a lion looks at its prey?”_

_“Don’t worry about it.” Lauren assures her. “She was just trying to freak you out. Ignore her.”_

_“Okay.” Camila nods to herself. “Yeah. I want to have a good time, and Alexa isn’t going to ruin that. But… uh, does she knows that this is a date?”_

_Lauren frowns. “No. She just thinks we’re friends. Why?”_

_“Okay, good. I’m just… I’m not ready for people to know that I’m gay yet.” Camila admits, and again, there’s that weird flash of something in Lauren’s mysterious green eyes. “It’s like… people already don’t like me, and I don’t really know why, and I get that a lot of kids don’t really… understand it. Me liking girls, I mean. I wouldn’t want to make anything worse in school.”_

_Lauren swallows a lump in her throat and nods, catching Vero’s eye. The other girl nods at her, and she looks over to the dancefloor as a more upbeat song starts to play. “Do you want to dance with me?”_

_Camila beams. “Yeah! I love this song, actually.”_

_Lauren’s smile is noticeably weaker as she leads Camila towards the dancefloor, but Camila doesn’t comment. Instead, she happy bobs along with the beat of the music as Lauren leads her to the middle of the dancefloor._

_“Can I have everyone’s attention for a moment, please?”_

_Camila sighs when she hears Alexa’s voice. She turns in Lauren’s direction with a snarky comment about her, but realises the other girl is gone from her side. Not caring about Alexa for a moment, Camila turns around to see Lauren stood in front of her._

_With Keaton._

_“Uh… Lauren, I thought you said that he was your ex-boyfriend.” Camila frowns in confusion. “Or are you still friends? Because that’s always cool, to maintain a friendship with-”_

_Alexa’s voice stuns her into silence. “Karla Estrabao is a lesbian.”_

_The room goes completely silent. Camila sees a few teachers rushing towards the stage Alexa is stood on, and she glances around to see that everyone is staring at her. She feels nothing other than white hot fear trickling down her spine._

_“Yeah, that’s right.” Alexa laughs. “Not only is she ugly, but she’s a dyke. She admitted it in her journal, and she has a creepy obsession with my best friend, Lauren.”_

_Camila’s heart is practically beating out of her chest, and she looks at Lauren with wide, teary eyes. There’s no way that this is happening. This is obviously a nightmare and she’s clearly just subconsciously freaking out about her date with Lauren._

_“You know, Lauren’s such a good actress, that she actually tricked the dumb bitch into thinking she likes her.”_

_That’s the last thing Alexa can get in before she’s yanked off the stage by the principal._

_Camila looks over at Lauren, the other girl’s image a messy blur through her tears. “Is that true?”_

_Lauren looks around at her friends, and then her previously neutral expression turns into a devious smirk. “Oh my god, you freak. I can’t believe you actually thought that I would want to go on a date with you. I mean, look at you – even with makeup you’re ugly – why would anyone want to date you? Your fat cheeks and your crooked teeth are enough to turn anyone off. Besides, I’m not a dyke like you.”_

_Pain. A blinding pain in her chest is the first thing that registers with her. Lauren’s words sink in after, and she takes off from the dance in tears, darting into the nearest bathroom before anyone can see her. She sits down on the floor and tucks her knees up to her chest, sobbing into them. She hates herself for falling for some dumb practical joke. Lauren was right; why would someone as beautiful as her want someone as painfully awkward as Camila?_

_Camila doesn’t know how long she stays in the bathroom for, crying her eyes out. She eventually stands up and wipes her eyes, taking a long look at her reflection in the mirror. The makeup she’d begged her mom to do for her had smudged, making her eyes look dark and puffy and her face almost clownlike. She sighs to herself as she looks at her chubby cheeks and her awkward teeth in the mirror. Of course everything Lauren had said was right. She was made up of flaws. She was just one giant flaw._

_She can’t believe herself for actually thinking that maybe she’d have a girlfriend by the end of the night. And to think, she’d spent the entire car ride to the dance gushing about how excited she was and how she was planning on kissing Lauren at the end of the night, when she was picked up by her mom._

_It takes a lot for Camila to leave the bathroom, but when she does, she doesn’t bother going back to the dance. There’s nothing there but ridicule, anyway. Instead, she pulls out the crappy flip phone her mom had handed down to her and dials her mother’s number, Sinu picking up almost immediately._

_“Karla, honey, I wasn’t expecting you to call this early!”_

_Camila sniffles. “Mom, I need you to pick me up.”_

_Suddenly, her mom’s light tone is completely gone. “Why? What happened, mija?”_

_“Um… you know I told you about having a date tonight to the dance?” Camila bites down on her lip and tries to hold back a second wave of tears. “Turns out it wasn’t real. She was only pretending so she and her friends could upset me.”_

_“I’m on my way now, Karla. I’ll be twenty minutes, at the most.” Sinu says down the phone. “What did they do to you?”_

_“They, uh, told everyone I’m gay, and then the girl that was my date who I really like laughed at me because I actually believed that she wanted to go out with me.” Camila sniffles at the memory, one she knows she won’t forget for a long time. “She told me… that I’m ugly, and that I look bad even tonight when I tried my hardest to look good for her, and I hate the way I look so much, mama, and it’s just-”_

_“Karla, I’m going to need you to calm down for me, honey.” Sinu instructs. “Go outside and get some air, and we’ll talk about this when I pick you up. And then we’ll forget about it and go and get some ice cream to cheer you up. Okay?”_

_Camila swallows the lump in her throat and nods. “Okay. I love you, mama.”_

_“I love you too, mija.”_

_Camila hangs up the phone and wipes her eyes again, heading outside to where she knows Sinu will pick her up. She puts her phone in the little clutch bag Sinu had let her borrow, and sits down on a step outside of a classroom, trying to gather her thoughts._

_“Hello, Karla.”_

_Camila looks up and comes face to face with Alexa, the dull feeling in her chest suddenly worsening. “What do you want? Haven’t you done enough?”_

_“Actually, no, I haven’t.”_

_-_

_When her mother picks her up, Camila goes to the emergency room with a broken arm._

_-_

“Hey, Camz, wake up,” Camila suddenly feels something shaking her, and her eyes snap open and she looks up, her brown gaze meeting green.

Almost immediately, she launches herself into Lauren’s arms with a panicked, “Lolo.”

Lauren rubs her back soothingly. “Hey. You were crying in your sleep, and you were shaking and stuff, and I didn’t really know what to do so I just woke you up. Were you having a bad dream?”

Camila sits up with a frown and nods. “Yeah. A very bad dream.”

Lauren pulls her into a hug when she hears Camila sniffle again. “Hey, don’t cry. It was only a dream. It’s not real and it can’t hurt you. Do you want to talk about it?”

“I, uh, no,” Camila quickly shakes her head and wipes her eyes, “what time is it?”

Lauren grabs her phone. “2:23AM, and yeah, before you ask, you did wake me up. But I don’t mind.”

Camila still feels guilty, despite what Lauren said. But, she elects to change the topic. “What do you like about me?”

Lauren blinks in confusion. “What?”

“Why do you like me?” Camila asks. “Why do you like having me as a friend?”

“Oh, that’s easy.” Lauren’s face relaxes into a smile. “You have a really wonderful mind and you’re so smart and funny, and then on top of all that you’re absolutely gorgeous. What wouldn’t I like about you?”

Camila lays back down next to Lauren and frowns. “You really think all of that about me?”

“Of course I do.” Lauren’s arm wraps around her again. “I like everything about you, Camz.”

“What did you like about me in middle school?” Camila looks up at Lauren, her eyes still teary from her nightmare that was a reality. “You, uh… when you told me your side of everything before you knew it was me, you mentioned that you, um, kind of liked me back at the time? And I was just wondering what you saw in me back then.”

Lauren bites down on her bottom lip in thought. “I just kind of… thought you were cute?”

Camila frowns again. “You don’t sound very sure about that.”

Lauren laughs. “No, I mean… it’s hard to explain. You were just so sweet to everyone, like if someone was struggling with work you’d help them. Even if you didn’t know them. And you were always optimistic, no matter what happened.”

Camila sighs to herself. No comment about her looks, which just confirms that everything Lauren had said to her at that seventh grade dance was the truth. “Oh, okay.”

“You don’t sound very happy about that, Camz.” Lauren looks her over. “Why are you asking all of this stuff, anyway?”

“I was having a bad dream about what happened back then. It’s not a big deal.” Camila murmurs. She yawns, and then pulls herself out of Lauren’s grip, rolling over to the other side of the bed. “Night, Lo.”

“Whoa, wait,” Lauren grabs her again. “Is that why you’re asking all of this stuff? Because of the things I said that night?”

“I… yeah, I guess.” Camila turns over again to look into Lauren’s bright emerald eyes. “Mostly because after you said that stuff, I realised you were right. That the flaws outweigh the positives about me, and nobody would want to date me.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it.” Lauren easily replies, and pulls Camila in for a hug. “You’re so difficult sometimes, Camz. I hate that you’re always so hard on yourself. The things I said that night weren’t my actual opinions. My _actual_ opinion is that you looked gorgeous, and that picture we had taken when we went in? I still have it. And you look adorable in it, just like I told you when we went in.”

“You really kept that?” Camila frowns. “I never had a chance to buy it. Not that I would’ve wanted anything to remind me of what happened. I’m just surprised that you did.”

Lauren nods. “I guess I got it to kind of… think about how things might’ve gone if I hadn’t gone along with my friends’ dumb scheme.”

Camila sighs and snuggles up to Lauren again. “Do you think in some alternate universe, things worked out?”

“No.” Lauren shakes her head. “I think things worked themselves out pretty well in this universe, to be honest.”

Camila blushes and hides her face in Lauren’s shoulder. “Me too. I just wish that dance had never happened. I hate thinking about it and I hate that it upsets me so much when I should be over it. Because I’m _not_ , Lauren. I’m really not over it. I think it really messed me up and that really scares me.”

“I know you’re not over it, baby,” Lauren starts running her fingers through Camila’s hair in a soothing manner, but Camila is way more focused on the pet name. Lauren just called her _baby_. “I know it messed you up, but I’m going to make you believe how amazing you are. It sucks that everyone sees it but you. I’m sorry that I was a part in making you as insecure as you are.”

“It’s okay. You’re the only one that’s sorry. And that… while it doesn’t change things, it makes me feel like the things you say about me now are genuine, because you’re open and honest and remorseful about the fact that you hurt me.” Camila rambles, wiping stray tears from her eyes. “There are so many things about myself that I don’t like, Lo.”

“Everyone has things they don’t like about themselves, Camz.” Lauren points out. “You’ve just got to try and look at yourself through someone else’s eyes. Because sometimes, the thing you hate the most about yourself might be their favourite thing about you. It’s all about perspectives.”

Camila’s curiosity gets the better of her. “What’s your favourite thing about me?”

Lauren hums in thought. “I couldn’t pick just one thing. Everything about you makes you who you are. And I happen to like who you are.”

Camila can’t help but smile. “You’re so good at that.”

“At what?”

“Compliments. Making people feel good about themselves.” Camila explains. “Making _me_ feel good about myself.”

Lauren smiles. “Well, that’s good to know. I just wish you could forget about the things I said back in middle school. None of it was true. You’re the farthest thing from ugly, Camz. I promise.”

Camila blushes. “Thanks, Lo.”

“Don’t thank me for telling the obvious truth.” Lauren dismisses her, and holds her arms out. “C’mere. Let’s go back to sleep.”

Camila settles down in Lauren’s arms again and closes her eyes, letting out a deep sigh. “Thanks for being such a good friend. You’re so patient about everything and I really appreciate that.”

Lauren yawns and traces patterns across Camila’s bare upper arm. “Don’t thank me. It’s you who’s the best. I mean that. Just try to stop putting yourself down all the time. Okay?”

Instead of agreeing, Camila changes the subject. “Hey, what ever happened between you and that boy you were with in middle school? You don’t mention him, so clearly something happened.”

“Keaton?” Lauren frowns to herself and eventually just shrugs. “Nothing, really. Why?”

“I don’t know.” Camila bites down on her lip. “I was just wondering if you were still together or something.”

Lauren actually laughs. “It was _middle school,_ Camz. Nobody stays together when they’re dating in seventh grade.”

Camila flushes in embarrassment. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“But what about you, huh? Did you have a super-hot girlfriend in California?” Lauren sends her a teasing smile. “Is that what you’re always doing on your phone when we hang with the girls? Texting her?”

“No, actually, I’m playing Geometry Dash. I’ve nearly completed the entire game.” Camila admits, letting out an awkward laugh. “I’ve, uh, never had a girlfriend before.”

Lauren blinks at her. “Wait, seriously?”

Camila bites down on her bottom lip and shakes her head. “Uh, yeah. I never had the courage to approach someone and make friends, let alone flirt with someone. Besides, I haven’t really had any crushes since…”

Lauren raises an eyebrow. “Since me?”

“Um… yeah.” Camila murmurs. She doesn’t mention the part where she might still have a crush on Lauren. No ruining friendships for her. “I guess I’ve just not met the right person yet.”

Lauren is silent for a moment. “So, um… you’ve never been kissed?”

Camila shakes her head. “Nope.”

Lauren hums to herself. “Oh. Okay. Well, you’re not missing out on that much. Before I had my first kiss I expected there to be fireworks. You know, like in the movies? But it wasn’t really that special.”

“I think I’m going to wait for the right person.” Camila looks Lauren up and down, knowing that her friend definitely fits into that category. “Maybe that way it’ll be special.”

Lauren nods. “I think that’s a good idea. What about a first date, though? You’ve had one of those, right?”

“I thought I had.” Camila says, and looks up at Lauren worriedly. “It turns out that it was just a massive scheme to out me.”

Lauren cringes. “I’m so sorry.”

“I know you are.” Camila replies. “I was trying to make a joke about it. Didn’t really go very well. Don’t worry about it, Lo. It’s like… I don’t even think about dating and all of that stuff. There’s nobody I like.”

Lauren hums in thought. “Well, don’t tell Dinah if you do. That girl won’t leave you alone about it until you say something to them. It’s actually kind of ridiculous.”

Camila laughs. “Actually, at the beach the other day, she accused me of liking someone. So did Ally and Mani, but when I told them I didn’t, they dropped it. Dinah kept pestering me for a while, though.”

Lauren raises her eyebrows. “Who’d they think you like?”

“I don’t think that’s very important.” Camila dismisses her. “You know, considering I don’t actually like her.”

Lauren narrows her eyes. “Okay. I could just ask the girls, you know.”

“You _could_ , yes, but you wouldn’t.” Camila says. “I know you, Lo. If I ask you not to do something, you won’t do it.”

Lauren frowns. “So this is you asking me not to ask the girls who you’re crushing on?”

“No. This is me asking you to not ask the girls about who they _thought_ I was crushing on.” Camila explains. “Because I’m not crushing on anyone.”

Lies. She’s crushing on the beautiful green eyed girl in front of her. She isn’t going to admit that though. Ever.

“Okay. I wouldn’t have asked them anyway.” Lauren replies. “Your business is your business. If you want to tell me, you will.”

Camila smiles. “Thanks, Lo. You’re the best, you know that?”

Lauren snorts. “Whatever you say, Camz.”


	7. Chapter 7

“A party?”

Dinah hums. “Yup. A party, Mila. That’s where people our age go and socialise. I know that’s a foreign concept to you, but try to keep up.”

Camila rolls her eyes and lets out a sardonic laugh. “Yeah, nice use of sarcasm, Dinah. Please, continue.”

“Okay, so, basically, a few of Lauren’s old friends invited her to this party, and she invited all of us along. Are you in or not?” Dinah asks her, folding her arms across her chest. From the way she’s stood, she looks like she’s going to make Camila go no matter what.

“Um,” Camila marks her space in her book. ‘Lauren’s old friends’ weren’t exactly people Camila wanted to run into. “Do I have to go?”

Dinah sends her a teasing look. “Do you want to see Lauren?”

Camila rolls her eyes. “I don’t like her, Cheechee. How many times do I have to tell you that?”

“Until you make me believe you.” Dinah shoots back. “Anyway, _yes_ , you’re coming. You’ve been holed up in this room since _Friday_.”

“It was Friday _yesterday_.” Camila points out. “I didn’t come over to your house with the rest of the girls because I had to babysit my sister. It’s not like I was up here by choice.”

“Exactly, and since it’s Saturday and you have no babysitting obligations, you should come to the party and see us all. It’s not like we’ll ditch you for anyone – Lauren is the only one that knows people there, and she hasn’t seen them since middle school.”

Camila sighs. “Neither have I, and maybe I’d like to keep it that way.”

Dinah raises an eyebrow. “What does that mean?”

Camila realises what she’s said and shakes her head. “Nothing.”

“You wouldn’t have brought it up if it was nothing.” Dinah counters. “Talk to me, Walz. Are you afraid of running into someone or something? An ex from middle school, maybe? God, I’d love to tease you about whatever weirdo you dated back then.”

“It’s not that.” Camila bites down on her bottom lip and shrugs. “I was bullied in middle school. I don’t want to run into the bullies. Okay?”

Dinah blinks in surprise. Apparently she hadn’t been expecting that. “You were bullied? What did they do to you? I swear to _god_ , if you point them out tonight, I won’t hesitate to-”

“Dinah, relax, it’s not a big deal. I just don’t want to go.” Camila picks her book up again. “Have fun, though. Make sure everyone gets home safe tonight for me, okay?”

“Mila,” Dinah sits down on her bed and grabs her hand, “was it really that bad that you’re avoiding something _now_ just because you’re scared? Did they really hurt you that much? Who was it? I bet Lauren will know them, she can point them out to me and I’ll mess them up. Hey, they might not even be there.”

Camila lets out a long sigh. “They’ll be there. I know it.”

Dinah frowns. “How do you know?”

“You said Lauren’s old friends invited her, yeah?” Camila waits until Dinah nods in confirmation. “Her friends were the ones who did it.”

For once in her life, Dinah is speechless. “What?”

“Yeah.” Camila nods and plays with a beaded bracelet on her wrist. “Lauren’s friends were the ones that bullied me.”

“Does Lauren know? She said she didn’t remember you from middle school when we first met.” Dinah says. “And you said you guys never talked.”

“I was lying.” Camila replies. “And yes, she does know. I told her a little while ago.”

Dinah frowns. “She never got involved, did she? I mean, I know she wouldn’t do anything like that, but I just… if she was friends with them… you never know.”

“She did. Only a few times though.” Camila sees the way Dinah’s expression sours and she explains. “She took me to the seventh grade dance and her and her friends outed me. She said some… pretty bad things that have stayed with me, but I’ve forgiven her. We talked it over and it’s okay. Just… don’t tell her I told you? I don’t think she wants you guys to know.”

“She pretended to be your date to a dance and then _outed_ you?” Dinah repeats. “This _is_ Lauren Jauregui we’re talking about, right?”

“Sadly.” Camila responds. “It wouldn’t have been so bad if I hadn’t had a huge crush on her at the time. Her friends found my journal in the locker room and convinced her to ask me out. It was genius, really – make me hope that my crush liked me back and then completely destroy that.”

“I’m going to have a talk with her-”

“Dinah, _no_ ,” Camila interrupts. “We’ve finally put it behind us and I don’t want it to keep coming up. I trust her now. It’s okay.”

Dinah raises her eyebrows. “After all of that, you trust her?”

Camila doesn’t even hesitate to reply. “I do.”

“And you’re _sure_ you don’t like her?”

Camila groans, and when she looks up, Dinah is sending her a teasing grin. “Positive. I don’t have a crush on Lauren, and I’m not going to her old friends’ party. Understood?”

“ _Fine_.” Dinah stands up. “You’ll text me if you change your mind though, right?”

“I won’t change my mind about the party, Cheechee.” Camila assures her. “But if you guys need a ride or something, feel free to message me. I’ll put my phone on loud and I’m sure my mom would let me borrow her car to pick you up.”

“Alright.” Dinah makes her way towards Camila’s bedroom door. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow? Maybe you can come over and help me and the other girls nurse our inevitable hangovers.”

Camila smiles. “Sure. I’ll see you later.”

-

Camila manages to get halfway through her book. That’s when her phone goes off.

The iPhone’s loud ringtone makes her nearly jump out of her skin; she’s so used to it being on silent, and the lack of messages she receives makes it all the more shocking that someone is actually _calling_ her.

Quickly, she marks her spot in her book and picks up the phone, reading the caller ID. Lauren’s contact picture is on the screen, and Camila doesn’t even hesitate to answer once she knows who’s calling.

(Does that mean she’s whipped?)

“Hey, Lo!” Camila greets her. “How’s the party?”

“ _Camz, I need you,”_ Lauren doesn’t even bother to greet her, and when it registers with Camila what she’s said, Camila grabs the car keys her mother had given her earlier. _“I need you here.”_

“Lauren, what’s wrong?” Camila puts her phone on speaker and she hurries to get out of the sweatpants she’s in and into a pair of jeans. “Are you hurt? Did something bad happen?”

“ _No.”_ Camila breathes a sigh of relief when she hears Lauren’s reply _. “I just want my best friend here. I miss you, Camzi. Please come?”_

“Lauren…” Camila sighs, but this time not in a good way. “It’s Alexa Ferrer’s party. I’m pretty sure she nearly recognised me on the beach, and I don’t particularly want to run into her again. I don’t want to go.”

“ _You won’t see her_.” Lauren is quick to argue with her. _“I’ve only seen her like, twice. And that was because I went to find her. I needed to know where the alcohol was_.”

Camila laughs. “Are you drunk right now, Lo?”

There’s a short pause on the line. “ _Maybe_.”

“Are you okay?” Camila asks her. She’s allowed to be a little concerned, being one of Lauren’s friends. She just needs to know that she’s okay. “How drunk are you?”

 _“I’m fine_.” Lauren tells her. “ _And very. Everything is spinning and I don’t really know anyone here. I’d trade them all for you, Camzi.”_

Camila’s stomach performs an incredibly uncoordinated backflip. “You- uh, _what_?”

 _“I really wish you were here, baby.”_ Lauren continues, and Camila thinks she’s about to melt into a puddle. _Baby_? Her crush is calling her _baby_? How the hell is she supposed to react to that? “ _You’re so much fun. I have so much fun with you, Camz. I wish we’d always been friends. I wish I’d never hurt you. God, Camila, you’re so amazing. Please come here. I miss you.”_

Camila caves. _God_ , she really is whipped. “Fine. I’m on my way. Keep yourself occupied for twenty minutes or so.”

Lauren’s laugh is so genuine that Camila doesn’t immediately regret her decision to go. “ _Yay. I’ll be waiting for you, Camz. Bye, baby.”_

“Bye, Lo.” Camila smiles to herself. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

Camila presses the end call button before Lauren can, and quickly changes her pyjama shirt for a random plaid one hanging in the front of her closet. She tugs a pair of socks on as quickly as she can and basically sprints down the stairs to put her shoes on. She writes a quick note to her parents to let them know where she’s going, and jumps into the car, putting on her One Direction playlist as she makes her way to the party, following the directions Dinah had texted her ‘just in case she changed her mind’.

It doesn’t take her too long to find the house the party is being held at, and while she knows it’s one of her old bullies’ house, she doesn’t hesitate to go in. Mostly just because she wants to get Lauren and get out.

She goes through the front door and into the crowded house, the booming music giving her a headache. She doesn’t know how anyone sane can stand this kind of environment – it’s no secret that Camila hates parties. It’s so cramped in the abnormally large house, and Camila understands why Lauren has only seen a few people she knows all night – there’s at least a hundred people there. Probably even more.

Camila pulls her phone from her pocket and dials Lauren’s number, heading up the stairs to find somewhere a little less populated. Her call ends up going to voicemail, and Camila worries a little. What if Lauren lost her phone and can’t contact anyone to get home? What if Lauren is hurt? So many what ifs plague Camila’s thoughts as she makes her way back down the stairs and into the main party area again.

She spots a familiar face and pushes through as many people as she can to grab Dinah’s wrist. “Cheechee! Have you seen Lauren? She called me and I promised I’d meet her.”

Dinah spins on her heels, and it’s immediately obvious that she’s drunk. “Walz! Oh my god, you came! I’m so glad you’re here. What did you say? You want Lauren? Of course you do, you’re like, _in love with her_ or something.”

“Dinah,” Camila rolls her eyes. “I don’t like Lauren like that, okay? I just need you to tell me where she is. When did you last see her?”

“Kitchen,” Dinah points in a general direction, “I saw her in there a while ago. She got me more beer.”

“Okay, thank you.” Camila sends her friend an appreciative smile and heads towards where she assumes the kitchen is. It takes her a little while to get there – she gets lost and the amount of people standing in her way doesn’t exactly help – but eventually she arrives in the kitchen, and typically, there’s no sign of Lauren.

She sighs to herself and tries calling the other girl again, but gets no response. She’s kind of regretting hanging up on her when she did – she should’ve kept Lauren on the call and told her to wait outside or something.

“Hey there.”

Camila turns around and feels a lump form in her throat. It’s Alexa. Not good. “Um… hi?”

Alexa looks her over and sends her a smile, but Camila can tell that it’s kind of forced. “I don’t think we’ve met.”

“I’m Camila.” Camila awkwardly introduces herself. She decides to play dumb. “I’m a friend of Lauren’s. We met at the beach that time, I think. She called me for a ride. Have you seen her?”

“Yeah, actually.” Alexa grabs her by the wrist, and Camila tenses up almost immediately. “She’s upstairs. I’ll take you.”

Unsure, Camila follows Alexa out of the kitchen. “Is Lauren okay? I got a weird call from her and I’m kind of worried.”

Alexa leads her up a flight of stairs. “Yeah, she’s fine. She was my best friend in middle school, so I’d take care of her. She didn’t need to call you.”

Camila shrugs. “She just said that she wanted me so I came. I don’t really know what was up with her.”

“She looks fine to me.” Alexa turns her around and Camila blinks in surprise. She follows Alexa’s finger to see Lauren in the corner, her lips attached to some guy’s neck. Camila is a little shocked by how much it hurts her to see that. Lauren had wanted _her_. Lauren said she’d trade her for anyone at the party, and there she was, making out with some guy Camila has never seen before.

Camila snaps back into reality. “I- uh, I need to go and get her.”

Alexa’s hand circles around her wrist. “You know, _Karla_ , I can’t believe after all of these years, you still don’t get that Lauren doesn’t want you.”

The words have only just registered in Camila’s brain when she feels a sharp pain in her temple and everything goes black.

-

When Camila wakes up, the first thing she notices is how much her head hurts.

She groans and shifts around, not used to the uncomfortable mattress she’s laid on. It isn’t her bed – she can tell that from just the scratchy sheets – and she doesn’t like it one bit. She opens her eyes and cringes at the bright white lights of the room, but manages to take in her surroundings for a few moments.

She’s in a hospital room.

No wonder it smells so sterile, like antibiotics are being used as air fresheners.

She rubs at her eyes and frowns when she looks around the room. There’s a bouquet of flowers on the little side table and her mother’s purse in the visitor chair on her right. She glances to the left and nearly falls off the bed in shock. If anything, she’d expected an empty chair, maybe with her dad’s coat on it.

Nope. She gets a sleeping Lauren Jauregui instead.

Camila takes a moment to look over Lauren. Her hair is tousled, probably from the position she’s half sitting, half laying in, and her face is makeup free. Her nose ring is crooked and she’s wearing an oversized _The 1975_ sweater and a pair of jeans. She looks a lot more tired than usual, and Camila finds it hard to believe that even her most natural form is giving her butterflies. Honestly, Lauren must be some sort of witch; it’s impossible for someone to look _that_ good when they’re sleeping in a hospital chair.

It’s not until after she’s finished staring at Lauren that she realises, wait, she’s literally in _hospital_. What the hell happened?

She vaguely remembers showing up at a party after getting a phone call from Lauren – something about wanting to see her – and then she ran into Dinah. After that is mostly a blur. She remembers a pain in the side of her head, but she can’t recall when it happened. Had she been downstairs?

“Oh, mija,” Camila nearly has a heart attack when her mother’s loud voice echoes through the room. She’s pulled into Sinu’s arms, and she hugs her mom back, admittedly still a little confused about how she got here. “I was so worried about you.”

Camila frowns. “What happened?”

Sinu visibly deflates as she sits down in the other seat. “You don’t remember? You went out to a party – you left a note about picking Lauren up – and then the next thing I know, I’m getting a phone call from Normani telling me that she’s found you and you have a black eye and some… _obscene_ graffiti on you.”

“Wait, what? How long ago was the party, mom?” Camila asks, finding it a little hard to follow with her headache.

“It was yesterday night. It’s around 4PM now. Your papi and Sofi just left, and Dinah, Ally and Normani came by at around twelve, but they left after about an hour. Lauren hasn’t left since the party. She hadn’t slept until around half an hour ago – she kept insisting that you’d wake up the second she went to sleep. I guess she was right.” Sinu looks over the sleeping girl with a fond smile. “I like her, Karla. She’s good for you.”

Camila freezes. _Karla_. Alexa had recognised her and told her where Lauren was. Lauren had been kissing some guy, and then everything went blank. Something must’ve happened after Alexa had recognised her. That’s the only explanation.

“She is good for me.” Camila slowly replies, trying to process everything. “Mama, can you tell me what happened again?”

“You were hurt, mija. Dinah mentioned that you hadn’t wanted to go to the party in the first place because it was someone from your old school’s party? Was it the same group of girls?” Sinu asks her. “I won’t let anyone hurt you again, Karla. What were their names again? I’m going to-”

Camila interrupts her. “How did they hurt me? What did they do?”

“You’re a little bruised everywhere, and you have a black eye, but there isn’t anything major. It’s not like last time.” Sinu replies. She shifts a little, as if she’s contemplating telling her something else. “There was some… they wrote something homophobic on your face, honey, but it’s gone now. You don’t have to see that.”

Camila feels a knot in her throat. Well, that just solidified the evidence. Alexa had recognised her and her and her friends had picked right back up where they’d left off. “I can’t really remember what happened, but I’m sure it was them, mom. It was the same group.”

She casts a glance over at Lauren and looks her over. Lauren was the one who had called her and got her to the party in the first place. Was she involved? Had she told Alexa who she was and they’d planned a fun little prank to pull on her?

Was she really Camila’s friend?

Sinu grabs her hand and gives it a soft squeeze. “I’m going to go and call your dad and tell him you’re awake. He’ll come back with Sofi. She’s dying to see you. Then we’ll get your doctor and make sure that it’s okay for you to come home. I’m sure you’d rather be there. We’ll talk about what to do about this later.”

Camila watches as her mom leaves the room again, and lets out a deep sigh. She rests her head on the uncomfortable pillow and glances over to Lauren again, hoping that she had nothing to do with it. She doubts she’d be able to handle it again if Lauren just turned on her.

After a few minutes alone, Camila reaches over and nudges Lauren. “Hey, Lo. Wake up. _Lauren_ , get up. I’m awake.”

Lauren mumbles something about not wanting to go to school and ‘five more minutes’, and smacks Camila’s hand away. She settles down in the uncomfortable hospital chair again, and Camila won’t stand for that.

She lightly smacks Lauren upside the head. “Wake up. _God_ , your friend is over here in a hospital bed and you just want to sleep? That’s like, really rude, Lo. Get up.”

Lauren’s bright emerald eyes flicker open, and she looks over Camila’s face for a moment, before realising where she is. Her eyes widen and she sits up in the chair, nearly falling off it in an effort to be closer to Camila. “Camz, oh my god, are you okay? I was so fucking worried, I was really drunk when I found you and Mani at that party and I haven’t left since and I really need to know that you’re okay.”

Camila blinks in surprise. “I’m fine, Lauren. You, uh, really didn’t leave me? It’s been like… nearly twenty hours.”

“Of course I didn’t leave you.” Lauren replies, smiling when Camila scoots over on the bed for her to sit down. “You’re one of my best friends, Camz. I’d never leave. I had to know that you were okay.”

“I’m fine. Just a few cuts and bruises, apparently.” Camila tells her, a squirming sensation in her stomach when she thinks about the girl next to her. She stayed with her. That meant everything. “My mom told me everything before you woke up. It’s definitely not as bad as the last time I was in here because of something your old friends did.”

Lauren’s eyes widen and she looks absolutely horrified. “They did this? Really?”

“The last thing I remember is Alexa addressing me as Karla, so yeah, I’m pretty sure.” Camila sighs and grabs Lauren’s hand. “It won’t happen again, though. I’m not going anywhere near where they might be. I don’t want to run into them again.”

Lauren traces patterns over Camila’s knuckles. “I’m so sorry, Camz. It’s all my fault. If I hadn’t called you, you wouldn’t have even been there.”

“You were drunk, Lo. I’m not going to blame you.” Camila assures her. “It’s just… I was looking for you, and you were literally _nowhere_. What were you doing? Why didn’t you answer your phone when I called?”

Camila knows the answer to ‘what were you doing?’, but she definitely doesn’t plan on disclosing that information to Lauren. She just hopes that her friend will be honest with her. Otherwise, Camila can’t be certain that she wasn’t involved.

Lauren sighs. “I wasn’t looking at my phone. I got distracted talking to this guy and… I think I kissed him? I don’t remember. When I left him, I saw that I had some missed calls from you and tried calling you back but you didn’t answer. That’s when I started to get worried. I went outside to get some air and I saw Normani freaking out and that’s when I found you.”

Camila breathes a sigh of relief. Lauren had told her the truth, and that’s enough to prove her innocence. “Okay. Good. I was worried about you when you weren’t answering your phone and I assumed the worst.”

Lauren raises an eyebrow. “The worst being?”

“That you’d wandered off and gotten yourself eaten by an alligator or something.” Camila easily replies. When Lauren laughs, she just shrugs. “What? It’s plausible.”

“Plausible, yes. Likely…” Lauren shakes her head, “not so much. I wasn’t _that_ drunk.”

“Yeah, okay,” Camila scoffs, “You were. I could hardly understand you on the phone. Do you even remember what you said to me?”

Lauren frowns to herself. “Something about missing you?”

Camila blushes and lets out a hum. “Yeah. Something like that.”

“I must’ve sounded really weird and clingy.” Lauren cringes to herself. “Sorry. Not my finest moments.”

“I didn’t mind it.” Camila replies. “I liked knowing you missed me. Drunk actions are sober thoughts, Lo.”

“Don’t be so full of yourself.” Lauren rolls her eyes. “I could’ve drunk dialled anyone last night.”

“Could’ve.” Camila agrees. “Didn’t.”

Lauren lets out an overdramatic sigh. “You’re such a jerk, Camz. Why am I friends with you?”

“Because ‘I have so much fun with you, Camila’.” Camila quotes her with a teasing smirk. “And ‘I wish we were always friends’.”

Lauren reddens, and Camila adds ‘making Lauren Jauregui blush’ to her list of lifetime achievements. “Shut up. I was _drunk_. I do embarrassing things when I’m drunk and it’s just rude to hold them against me.”

Camila laughs. “I’m your friend, it’s a duty for me to embarrass you. Using your drunk actions – which, as I said earlier, are sober thoughts – against you is perfectly acceptable.”

“You know what? I really wish they’d give you pain medication so you’ll go all loopy.” Lauren squeezes Camila’s hand. “You know, maybe I’ll go and get a nurse and tell them that you’re in severe pain. That way I can laugh when you reveal your ‘sober thoughts’.”

“Taking advantage of your injured friend?” Camila raises an eyebrow. “Seems a little low, doesn’t it?”

“Nobody would ever know.” Lauren shrugs. “I can do what I want. And stop referring to yourself as _friend_. I think _best_ friend is more appropriate.”

It’s Camila’s turn to blush. “Really? You think of me as a best friend?”

“Of course I do, Camz,” Lauren nudges her playfully. “I wouldn’t have been here all night and all day if I didn’t.”

“I guess that’s true.” Camila sits up and reaches her arms out. “Come here. I want a hug.”

Lauren shuffles forward and pulls her into a hug, running her cold fingers through Camila’s hair. “Do you want to do something after you feel a little less… achy and bruised?”

Camila pulls away with a frown. “What, you mean, like, with the other girls and stuff? Like we usually do?”

“No,” Lauren shakes her head. “Just us. I want to do something with just you. Is that okay?”

Camila feels a knot in her throat and butterflies in her stomach, but acts as casually as she can when she replies. “Yeah. That’s perfectly okay. I should be feeling better by next week anyway. How’s next Saturday for you?”

“It’s good.” Lauren beams. “Okay then. It’s a date.”

Camila nearly chokes on air. A date? Did Lauren actually mean that, or was it just casual wording? She has no idea, but she’s not about to ask – that’d make things awkward and she doesn’t want to do that. Lauren is her confirmed best friend, and she’s not screwing that up. No matter how much of a stupid crush she has on her.

“Yeah.” Camila nods. “Saturday. You and me. What do you have planned?”

Lauren smiles to herself. “You’ll see.”

Camila raises an eyebrow and tries to act as casual and relaxed as she can. In reality, her heart is beating ten times too fast and she feels like she’s going to throw up from nerves. “That sounds a little sketchy to me. For all I know, you could be taking me out to the middle of the woods to perform some sort of demonic ritual. I could be your unwilling and unsuspecting virgin sacrifice.”

Lauren gasps in mock offence. “Don’t you trust me, Camzi?”

“Of course I trust you, Lo.” Camila smiles. “I just don’t like sketchy ‘ _you’ll see’_ plans.”

“Well, you’ll have to deal with sketchy plans, because I’m not telling you a _thing_. It’s going to be a surprise.” Lauren folds her arms across her chest, but then grabs Camila’s hand when her expression sours. “I promise you’ll like it, Camz.”

Camila shuffles forward in her hospital bed, ignoring the aches and pains in her side, and pulls Lauren in for a hug. Quickly, she presses her lips to Lauren’s cheek and then buries her face into her shoulder. “Okay. I’m okay with surprises if it’s with you.”

“Kaki!” Camila hardly has time to pull away from Lauren when Sofi launches herself onto the hospital bed. “You’re okay!”

Admittedly, Camila is a little disappointed when Lauren sits back down in the chair to her left, but she doesn’t say anything. Instead, she turns to her sister with a wide smile. “Hey, Sofi. Yeah, I’m okay. I missed you, though.”

Sofi beams at her, but Camila notices the way she recoils a little bit when she notices Lauren. “Who’s that girl?”

Camila laughs and takes Sofi’s hand, patting the bed next to her in an attempt to get Lauren to sit back down. It works. “Sofi, this is my best friend, Lauren. Lauren, this is my little sister, Sofia Cabello. She prefers Sofi, though.”

“Hi, Sofi.” Lauren sends her a warm smile. “Camila has told me a lot about you. It’s really nice to finally meet you.”

Sofi frowns at her. “Are you the Lauren with the pretty eyes? I heard Kaki tell mama about a Lauren who had ‘the prettiest eyes ever’. Is that you?”

Camila’s face turns a bright red and she looks down at her feet, catching her parents’ quiet laughs at Sofi’s comment. “ _Sofi_.”

Lauren just laughs and plays dumb. “I don’t know, Sofi. Maybe Camz can tell me that. I don’t know if she knows any other Laurens.”

“ _Lo_ ,” Camila shakes her head. “Stop. It’s bad enough that my sister is embarrassing me. Now you have to go there, too?”

“I’m your best friend, Camz. It’s my duty to embarrass you.” Lauren mimics her words from earlier, and elicits an irritated groan from Camila. “Yeah, it’s not so fun when you’re the one being teased, is it?”

Before Camila can send back a sarcastic reply, Sofi speaks. “Kaki, I like her. Will she always be your friend? I don’t like it when you’re alone because then you’re sad. I hope Lauren is always your friend.”

“I can tell you now that I’ll always be here.” Lauren assures both Sofi and Camila. “She’s my best friend. Someone’s got to be there to embarrass her.”

Camila rolls her eyes. “Of course you’d only be here for the embarrassment. Luckily for you, I happen to embarrass myself perfectly fine, so you won’t have much of a job. Maybe you shouldn’t be so certain that you’re going to stick around.”

Lauren laughs and pulls her in for another hug. “Don’t be ridiculous, Camz. You’re not getting rid of me that easy.”

Camila melts into Lauren’s arms and lets out a content sigh. “Good. That’s good to know.”

“Karla,” Alejandro interrupts, “how are you feeling?”

Camila doesn’t move away from Lauren. “I’m fine. I ache a little bit, but aside from that, I think I’ll be alright to go home. I really hate hospital beds and I kind of want to binge watch something.”

“Your doctor will need to do a few checks before you can be discharged, but I’m sure we’ll be home soon.” Sinu explains. “Do you think you’ll be fine for school tomorrow?”

“I’ll be perfectly fine, mama.” Camila assures her. She looks up at Lauren with a smile. “I’ve got some pretty awesome people looking out for me there.”

Lauren beams at her, and looks up to Sinu. “Nobody will touch her under my watch. That’s a promise.”

Sinu sends Camila a knowing smile. “I told you she was good for you, Karla.”

Camila blushes. “Mom, _please_. Sofi is telling her embarrassing things, and now you? I can’t get a break.”

“I don’t think it’s embarrassing.” Lauren tells her, standing up and stretching. “It’s cute. _Karla_.”

Camila huffs. “You’re so annoying. Did you know that?”

“I think you’ve told me a few times.” Lauren smirks at her and then nods towards the door. “I should go and catch up on my sleep before school tomorrow. I’ll see you there?”

While she’s a little upset that Lauren is leaving, she sends her friend a soft smile and nods. “Yeah. I’ll see you at school, Lo.”

Lauren picks up the leather jacket that’s draped over the arm of the chair she was sleeping in, and leans down to kiss Camila on the cheek. “Bye, Camz.”

Camila manages to choke out a weak goodbye, the kiss taking her completely off guard. Sure, it was only on the cheek, but so far it’d only been her to initiate things like that. Lauren doing it was on a whole other level.

Sofi taps her on the shoulder with a frown. “Kaki, why have you gone all red?”

Typically, the question makes her go even more red. “Uh, I’m just a little hot.”

“For Lauren,” Sinu finishes for her with a teasing smile. “You like her a lot, don’t you, mija?”

Camila sighs. “I do. I’m trying not to, though. She’s my friend; I can’t like her. I don’t want to ruin anything.”

“For some reason, I don’t think it’d ruin anything.” Sinu replies. “I think you’d have a fair chance with her, mija.”

Camila scoffs. There’s absolutely no way that her mother is telling the truth. “Yeah, _right_. She’s basically a goddess, mama. I’m awkward and dorky and full of flaws. She wouldn’t want me.”

“Don’t talk about yourself like that.” Sinu scolds. “She would want you. You’re worth more than you think, Karla. Just because some stupid girls in middle school told you all of these negative things doesn’t mean they’re true. Everyone has flaws, but they don’t define you.”

Camila sighs. She’s had this lecture a million times – whenever she says anything mildly self-deprecating, Sinu becomes some sort of motivational speaker. Except she uses the same speech every single time, and it does absolutely nothing to help. Camila knows that she’s just lying – she’s her mom, she has to tell her these things – and she’d never get someone like Lauren. She has to keep her feelings to herself if she wants to maintain their friendship.

She just really hopes that nothing compromises it.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for anxiety/panic attacks.

“You are going to look _smokin’_ , Walz,” Dinah teases her as she puts the finishing touches on Camila’s makeup. “Lauser will be swooning over you.”

Camila rolls her eyes. “It’s not a date, Cheechee. Lauren would never ask me out on a date.”

Dinah scoffs. “I think you’re forgetting that I’ve known that girl longer than you.” At Camila’s pointed look, Dinah laughs and continues. “Well, I’ve known her as a friend longer than you have. She’d ask you out.”

“Has she… uh, said anything about me to you?” Camila fidgets nervously as Dinah starts packing her makeup away.

Dinah raises an eyebrow and smirks. “I knew you liked her. And maybe she has, maybe she hasn’t. As a best friend, I’ve got to keep her secrets. Besides, it’s not me she talks to about that stuff. It’s Mani.”

Camila makes a mental note to ask Normani the same thing later. “Oh, okay. I just… I do like her a lot. I don’t think I ever stopped liking her, even after what she did. And now I know how sorry she really is… it frightens me. That dance was my first date, and I don’t want my possible second date to end in tears too. I don’t want her to spend time with me just because she feels like she owes me something.”

“If Lauren didn’t like you, she wouldn’t make this much of an effort.” Dinah assures her. “Trust me, girl can be _cold_ if she wants to be. She doesn’t even act like a jerk to you for a joke, _Camz_.”

Camila blushes when Dinah brings up Lauren’s nickname for her. “I really want things to work out, Dinah. I want to be her friend but at the same time I want so much more, and when she said _it’s a date_ … it freaked me out because I don’t know if it’s casual wording or not.”

Dinah shrugs. “Can’t help you there, Walz. I’m going to try and get as much of the gossip as I can from Mani and Ally, though. Maybe I’ll tell you what they say if you give me the details about what happens tonight.”

Camila just sighs. “Nothing is going to happen. We’re going to hang out as usual and that will be that.”

“Whatever you say, Chancho.” Dinah rolls her eyes and packs her makeup bag away, turning towards the door. “Good luck, though. Text me later.”

With that, Dinah leaves Camila alone with her thoughts about the night.

She hears the doorbell ring and practically darts down the stairs to answer the door. When she pulls it open, she feels a little upstaged. Lauren looks perfect.

(Well, she looks perfect every day, but still.)

“Hey, Camz,” The other girl’s green eyes sweep over her body quickly, “You look gorgeous. Do you want to head out?”

Camila blinks in surprise at the sudden compliment and nods. “Uh, yeah. Sure. You look really amazing, Lo. Like… _really_.”

Lauren laughs and runs her fingers through her tousled hair. “Thanks, I guess.” She holds out her hand and wiggles her fingers. “Come on, Camz. We’ve got places to be.”

Camila raises her eyebrows as she cautiously takes Lauren’s hand and follows the other girl towards her car. “Places? As in plural?”

“Yup,” Lauren nods, “will that be a problem?”

“Karla!”

Sinu comes rushing out of the front door before Camila can reply to Lauren’s question. Naturally, when Camila hears her mother’s voice, she flushes bright red and turns around with a frown. “Yes, mom?”

Sinu comes to a stop in front of her. “Karla, what time are you going to be getting home?”

“Um… I don’t know.” Camila looks to Lauren with a frown. “That depends on how long whatever we’ll be doing will take. Lauren’s not telling me a thing.”

Sinu turns to Lauren. “Have her home by 11 – that’s her curfew. Have fun, girls.”

Before Camila can make a comment to her mom about embarrassing her in front of her crush and possible date for the evening, Sinu heads back indoors and leaves Lauren and Camila alone again.

Camila turns to Lauren with an apologetic expression on her face. “I’m really sorry about my mom. I didn’t expect her to come rushing out but I guess it was my fault for not telling her what time I’d be back.”

Lauren just opens the car door for her. “Don’t worry about it, Camz.”

Camila sits down in the passenger seat and watches as Lauren makes her way over to the driver’s side. Her friend sits in her seat and starts the car, sliding one of her _The 1975_ albums into the CD player.

After a few moments of silence, Camila speaks up. “So… um, why did you want to hang out tonight?”

Lauren shrugs. “I don’t really have a reason. You’re my friend and I like hanging out with you.”

A little disappointed with the knowledge that it’s nothing more than a friendly hang-out, Camila just nods. “Ah… okay. That’s cool.”

“And, uh,” Lauren glances at her for a second before returning her gaze to the road, “maybe I wanted a little alone time with you.”

Camila feels heat creeping up her neck and into her face, and she knows for a fact that red is staining her cheeks. “I… cool. Yeah. I like spending time with you. So, how long until we reach our destination?”

“Not long.” Lauren turns to her with a smirk. “Be patient. Good things come to those who wait.”

Camila huffs. “Well, was I right in declining my parents’ offer of dinner? I at least want to know I’m not going to starve.”

“You really think I’d take you out on a-” Lauren cuts herself off, and Camila’s stomach flips. Was Lauren about to say _date_? “Do you seriously think I’d invite you out and _not_ buy you dinner? Damn, Camz, how little do you think of me?”

“Wait, hold on,” Camila sends Lauren an incredulous look, “you’re planning on paying for me?”

Lauren nods. “Of course. I invited you.”

“Yeah, but I’m not just going to let you spend a load of money on me.” Camila folds her arms across her chest. “You’re not paying for me. I’m putting my foot down on that.”

Lauren raises an amused eyebrow. “You really think you’re going to stop me? Cute, Camzi.”

“I _am_ going to stop you.” Camila argues as Lauren pulls her car up in front of a restaurant Camila is certain she’s never been to.

Before Camila can start a rant about how Lauren is certainly not going to be paying for her, Lauren is out of the car and walking around to the passenger side to open her door for her. Once Camila is out of the car, Lauren offers her hand again, but Camila shakes her head.

“No, you’re not holding my hand until you agree that I’m paying for myself.” Camila makes a point of locking her fingers together so Lauren can’t just grab her hand anyway. “Like I said, I’m putting my foot down. I can be very stubborn.”

“Yeah, like you were at the beach that time?” Lauren smirks, because she and Camila both know that it didn’t take much for the younger Latina to cave. Lauren moves closer to her and watches as Camila’s cheeks flush and her back presses against her car. “Please let me pay, Camzi? I really want to do something nice for you.”

Camila shivers when Lauren rests her hands on her shoulders and sends her the puppy dog eyes. She finds herself going weak at the knees when Lauren tucks a loose strand of her hair behind her ear and whispers one more ‘please’.

“Okay, fine.” Camila scowls when Lauren grins in victory and moves away from her, flirty and intense Lauren completely gone and replaced by the calm and collected Lauren she’s used to. “But only if you’ll let me return the favour on a future… outing.”

“That’s fine.” Lauren grabs her hand and leads her towards the restaurant with a cocky grin. “I knew you’d cave.”

“I did not _cave_ …” Camila tries to argue, “I reluctantly agreed. There’s a difference.”

“There really isn’t.” Lauren spares her an eye roll before she’s distracted by one of the waitresses. “Hi, um, table for two, please? It’s booked under Jauregui.”

The waitress looks them over with a small smile, probably assuming they’re on a date. Honestly, Camila isn’t entirely sure that they’re _not_ on a date. Lauren had nearly called it that in the car, and she wasn’t sure what to call it when referring to a future possible date-like outing. Sure, Camila has feelings for Lauren that are slightly more than platonic, but she highly doubts that Lauren reciprocates them. Her friend is like a literal goddess, while Camila’s entire existence can be summed up in just one word; awkward.

Camila keeps a tight grip on Lauren’s hand as the waitress leads them to their table, and she can’t help but notice how fancy and intimate the restaurant seems. A little too fancy and intimate for just a platonic outing between two friends.

Once they’re seated and the waitress has left them to decide on their orders, Camila finds herself wanting to ask Lauren if it’s a date. Naturally, she’s far too awkward to voice her thoughts, and ends up staring as the beautiful girl in front of her browses the drinks menu.

“So,” Camila is snapped out of some sort of daydream when Lauren speaks, “have you decided on what you want to drink?”

“Um, no,” Camila grabs the other drinks menu with shaky hands and pretends to read it. Really, she knows she’s just going to get a coke, but she can feel Lauren’s green eyes baring into her and she isn’t exactly ready to look up and be put under their captivating spell just yet.

“Camz?” Lauren prompts her, and Camila glances up with a smile that looks a little bit too worried to be genuine. “Are you okay? You seem a little… jumpy.”

Camila shrugs. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t look too sure about that.” Lauren takes the menu from her so she has nothing to distract herself with. No sort of barrier or safety net between her and the green eyed girl. “Relax. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s _wrong_ , exactly.” Camila replies, looking up to the older Latina uncertainly. “I… uh, I just don’t get why we’re doing this. Why did you want to take me out to an obviously fancy restaurant and whatever undisclosed location we’re going to later?”

Lauren taps her fingers on the table as if she’s debating telling her something. “Um… how about I tell you when we go to the undisclosed location?”

Camila frowns. “If you’re going to tell me, you might as well just tell me now.”

Luckily for Lauren, their waitress comes back asking if she can get them any drinks before she has any time to answer, and Camila is far too awkward to press her for answers when they’re left alone again.

Instead, Lauren distracts her by telling her a story about the time she broke her arm, and soon, Camila forgets about her question all together.

-

“You took me to the beach? That’s your big secret?”

“No,” Lauren shakes her head as she pulls Camila onto the sand. “I took you to the beach at _night_. Ta da.”

Camila rolls her eyes as she collapses onto the sand next to Lauren. “That was really anticlimactic, Lo. And here I thought I’d be taken somewhere immensely exciting. Like Disneyworld.”

Lauren snorts. “If you want to drive up to Orlando and go to Disneyworld, that’ll be the date you pay for.”

Camila practically freezes when she hears that certain four letter word. _Date_. Lauren had basically confirmed that it was a date.

Instead of jumping up and down and performing the happy dance she was so desperately itching to get out, she just laughs. “Fine, I will. I’m going to need a chauffeur, since I don’t think my mom would let me borrow her car. Maybe Dinah could volunteer. I feel like she’d be good company at Disneyworld and I can’t think of any other people I know who can drive.”

“So suddenly I’m not even involved in this plan?” Lauren gives her a playful shove. “Damn, Camz. You’re brutal.”

Camila smiles and rests her head on Lauren’s shoulder. “Of course you’re involved. If I’m going to Disneyworld, I want my Lolo to come with me.”

“Lolo, huh?” Lauren picks up on the nickname and Camila blushes in embarrassment. “You called me that one time before. It was when you woke up from your nightmare that time I stayed at your place.”

Camila shrugs and looks anywhere but Lauren. “If you don’t like it, I won’t say it.”

“Never said I didn’t like it.” Lauren shoots back. “It’s like… your equivalent of Camzi, I guess. It’s cute. Just… don’t say it in school. I have a reputation as a badass to hold up and all that.”

Camila snorts with laughter. “You? A badass? Yeah, _right_.”

“Hey, it’s true!” Lauren folds her arms across her chest and pouts in the most totally non badass way possible. “I’m cool.”

“Says the girl who uses her puppy dog eyes to manipulate people.” Camila gives her a pointed look and throws an arm around her, giving the older Latina a tight squeeze around the waist. “It doesn’t matter if you’re not a badass, _Lolo_. I like you anyways.”

Lauren rolls her eyes and flops backwards in the sand. “You’re such a jerk.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I was intimidated by you when I first met you.” Camila admits. “Both in middle school and high school.”

Lauren raises her eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“Well, in middle school it was like… _wow_ , there was this super beautiful girl who hangs out with the popular crowd and I kind of had a ridiculously huge crush on her, and naturally you’re going to be intimidated by a girl you’re crushing on.” Camila explains, going a little red. “And in high school… I think it was the whole ‘wow, look, Camila, it’s one of your old bullies who you were desperately avoiding and now this Dinah girl has practically handed you over to her. And guess what, the old bully in question is also really hot’.”

“Not sure what thing to focus on there.” Lauren admits, frowning to herself. “You thought I was hot when you met me this time? Like… seriously?”

“Yeah.” Camila confesses. “I mean, I was a little more focused on the whole ‘holy shit, it’s Lauren Jauregui’ thing, but yeah…”

“Oh,” Lauren takes the information in, and for a second, Camila is a little worried and starts to regret admitting all of that, but then Lauren smiles and she feels a lot better. “I thought you looked vaguely familiar, to be honest. I was a little more distracted with my other thought of _wow, she’s pretty, don’t blow it Jauregui_.”

Camila rests her head on Lauren’s shoulder and smiles. “That’s good to know. You didn’t blow it, by the way.”

“I kind of figured.” Lauren replies, squeezing her hand. “I really love hanging out with you, Karla Camila Cabello Estrabao.”

“And I really love hanging out with you too,” Camila pauses for effect, “Lauren Michelle Jauregui.”

“Close.” Lauren says, “It’s actually Lauren Michelle Jauregui _Morgado_.”

Camila laughs. “I’ll keep that in mind for future reference.”

Lauren is silent for a moment and turns to her with a soft smile. “I had a lot of fun tonight, Camz.”

“Me too. It wasn’t really much of a shock though; I always have fun with you.” Camila admits with a nervous grin. “I really appreciate you paying for my meal. I’m going to do the same for you at some point.”

Lauren hums. “You don’t have to do that. It was the least I could do.”

Camila feels her stomach drop when she realises something. Lauren saying it was the ‘least she could do’ made it sound like the whole thing was part of her making the seventh grade dance up to Camila. And that stung. A lot.

“What do you mean by that?” Camila asks her. “Is this just…”

Lauren blinks at her in confusion. “Is this just what? I wanted to take you out and I did. Least I could do was pay for it.”

Camila shakes her head and stands up, brushing the sand off her dress. “I can’t believe I actually thought…”

“Thought what?” Lauren jumps up and grabs her hand. “What’s wrong, baby?”

“Don’t call me that.” Camila pulls her hand away and shakes her head. “This is all part of you wanting to make something up to me that doesn’t even matter. You did all of this because you want to make that stupid dance up to me. Not because you actually…”

Camila trails off and squeezes her eyes shut. She definitely doesn’t want to cry in front of Lauren. She can’t let the other girl know she’s broken her heart for the second time. She hates the effect the older Latina has on her, and she can’t believe she was dumb enough to believe that Lauren might have actually had some romantic interest in her.

“Wait, Camz,” Lauren grabs her by the wrist when she tries to walk away, “don’t go. I don’t… where did you get that from? Why are you suddenly blowing up at me? Didn’t you have fun?”

“I don’t want to fucking talk to you, Lauren.” Camila pulls her arm away roughly and glares at her. “You’re not allowed to make me think that- you can’t just… I don’t,”

Camila feels her breathing start to get heavier and her pulse rate speeds up, and she knows what’s about to happen. She starts to go lightheaded and she can hear Lauren asking her what’s wrong, but she can’t bring herself to answer. The only thing that’s going through her head is _oh god, I’m about to have a panic attack_.

Camila desperately tries to ignore the lump in her throat and the pain in her chest and how her lungs feel like they’re about to burst, and she can vaguely hear Lauren’s raspy voice but she can’t identify what the other girl is saying as she collapses onto the sand and brings her knees up to her chest. She desperately tries to control her breathing, but her thoughts are cloudy and she feels like she's being held underwater, her surroundings muffled.

She feels Lauren take her hand and sees the other girl’s blurry outline through her tears, hearing a muffled “Camila, listen to me,” but finding it incredibly hard to focus on anything other than the fact she feels like she’s _dying_.

Even though she’s on an open beach and the air is cool, she feels like she’s suffocating in a tiny, cramped room. She focuses on taking deep breaths, but each time the air doesn’t quite reach her lungs and catches in her throat, choking her like a pair of invisible hands wrapped around her neck. She knows she needs to _breathe_ , but she feels like she’s about to pass out, everything around her going fuzzy like she was in some sort of dream.

She feels soft hands in her hair, and suddenly she’s with something warm, but it’s not unpleasant. Something touches her forehead and she opens her eyes to see Lauren’s beautiful emeralds staring back at her.

“Camila,” Lauren grabs her attention and carefully weaves her hands through the younger Latina’s hair, “can I talk to you about something?”

Camila nods frantically and chokes out a “Yes,” aware of how much her hands are shaking and how she feels like she’s being strangled.

“I remember the first time I met Dinah, Ally and Mani,” Lauren starts, and Camila has no idea why she’s telling her about that, but she appreciates the distraction. “I was so scared of them. I think it was because instead of continuing on at the private school, I decided I wanted to move. Partly to get away from Alexa and everyone – all through eighth grade I hated hanging out with them. So I’d started this new school, and most people were from the public middle school so they all knew each other. I met Normani first at softball tryouts and I was ridiculously intimidated, because you know, pretty girls tend to be intimidating and she had this air of confidence around her that I didn’t.

"After that she introduced me to the other girls - Dinah first. I think you can imagine how that went. Equally, if not more scary. After that I met Ally, and she was the one who made me feel comfortable because she’s a literal sunshine. The thing that intimidated me the most was how they’d all known each other since kindergarten and yet they were perfectly okay with letting me into their group.”

“They, um- I,” Camila tries to reply, “I- I get-”

Lauren shushes her. “It’s okay. Work on calming yourself down. Focus on me.”

If Camila wasn’t just post-panic attack, she’d probably have sent back a snarky comment about how she’s always focused on Lauren. Instead, she just nods.

Lauren weaves her fingers through her hair again and smiles, tucking a strand behind Camila’s ear. Her fingers trace Camila’s jawline and lock at the back of her neck, strategically keeping the other girl’s gaze locked on her. “Are you feeling a little better?”

“Yeah.” Camila mumbles, wiping at her eyes. Her breathing has just about returned to normal, and her heart’s still pounding, but she doesn’t feel like she’s about to pass out anymore. “Lauren-”

“You don’t have to explain yourself.” Lauren helps her up and keeps an arm firmly around her waist as she walks her to the car. “Let’s get you home.”

Camila lets Lauren help her into the car, and stays silent as her friend starts the car and pulls out of her parking spot.

“Lauren,” Camila sniffles, “I, um, I have anxiety. I get really bad panic attacks sometimes and, uh, that’s what that was. I didn’t mean for you to find out like that.”

Lauren looks her over with a frown. “You could’ve told me before. I wouldn’t have gone around broadcasting to the entire school that you have anxiety.”

“I know that, it’s just,” Camila sighs. “It’s not something I like telling people about. Once they know, they treat me like I’m a bomb about to go off. They hold back.”

Instead of rolling her eyes and telling her she’s being ridiculous, Lauren just sends her a sympathetic smile. “Can I ask what set you off? Or would that… like, upset you again?”

“It’s- I was just thinking about something.” Camila shrugs. “I thought that maybe you weren’t hanging out with me tonight because you _wanted_ to, but because it was part of you wanting to make the dance up to me.”

Lauren raises her eyebrows. “Camz, I wouldn’t have asked you out if I didn’t want to hang out with you.”

Camila scoffs. “Yeah, because you asking me out in seventh grade was totally you wanting to hang out with me.”

“I knew you hadn’t forgiven me.” Lauren murmurs. “You really think I’d do something like that to you again?”

Camila shakes her head. “No, but-”

“Then why did you bring it up, and why are you making all of these assumptions about things?” Lauren interrupts her, but she doesn't give her a chance to answer. “Whatever, Camila. If you haven’t forgiven me, just say it. We don’t have to be friends. Clearly you don’t trust me enough.”

“Lauren, no, of course I trust you,” Camila objects as Lauren pulls up in front of her house. “It’s just, the anxiety makes me overthink every little thing and tells me that everyone hates me and that people aren’t actually my friend and everything is just some sort of sick practical joke.”

“Whatever,” Lauren shrugs her off. “I’ll see you at school, Camila.”

“ _Lauren,”_ Camila snaps, “you can’t just go all cold on me like this. I don’t think you’d do anything to hurt me, it’s just… maybe I kind of wanted this to be you taking me out because you liked me, not because you want to make something up to me.”

Lauren looks her up and down for a moment and nods to her house. “Your mom is waiting for you. I’ll see you around.”

With a huff, Camila gets out of the car and turns around to look at her mom, who’s looking out of the window to the lounge. She turns back to talk to Lauren, but the other girl has already rolled Camila’s window up and set off down the street.

Camila doesn’t bother talking to her mom about the night when she gets in. Instead, she goes upstairs to her room and flops onto her bed with a sigh, hating herself for getting her hopes up.


	9. Chapter 9

School for the next week can be summed up in one word; awkward.

Lauren spends most of the week avoiding her, and when they have to interact in the classes they share, everything is forced and uncomfortable. Ally, Normani and Dinah try their hardest to make things less awkward at lunchtimes, but it mostly ends up with Camila excusing herself to go and sit in the library by herself.

Apparently on Friday, Dinah's had enough. She sits down next to Camila in the library with a scowl on her face.

"Okay, you and Lauser need to pull your heads out of your asses and make up." Dinah folds her arms across her chest. "I'm sick of hearing her complain about you, and you moping around. It's making things awkward and me, Mani and Ally are sick of it."

Camila frowns. "She complains about me?"

"Duh," Dinah rolls her eyes, "she's always talking about how she misses you but she's too damn stubborn to do anything about it. So _you're_ going to take the initiative. Okay?"

Camila scoffs. "Yeah, no. She's the one who got all cold with me. I'm not going to apologise. I tried doing that at the end of our possible weird date thing that wasn't actually a date-"

"Walz, shut up," Dinah cuts in, "it was a date. Everyone but you knows that. Even Lauren called it a date when she was ranting to Mani and I about it."

"Well, sorry I wasn't aware." Camila shrugs. "It's not like she made it very clear. Especially since the week before I saw her shoving her tongue down some random guy's throat, and suddenly this week she's his best friend."

Dinah snorts, "Come on, it's obvious she's just using Brad to make you jealous. The girl's totally heart eyes emoji for you, Mila. Everyone but you can see it."

"I just don't want to think about it, China," Camila sighs, "I think it's time I just... got over her? Maybe that way I'll be able to-"

"Oh, don't you dare." Dinah scowls at her. "You're going to ask her out before no-lips does, and she's going to be your girlfriend and everything will be fine."

"You can't make me ask her out, Dinah," Camila actually laughs at the thought, "it isn't going to happen. Clearly Lauren doesn't even-"

"Clearly I don't even what?" Lauren comes out from behind one of the bookcases with a frown, and Camila nearly has a heart attack, because that's the last thing she was expecting. "What? Say it. It's not like you have anything to lose."

"Lauren," Dinah scolds her, "don't."

"No," Lauren shakes her head, "obviously she has something to say to me. Go ahead, Karla."

"Don't call me that." Camila folds her arms across her chest. "You know I don't like it."

"And I don't like it when people I care about bitch about me behind my back." Lauren shoots back at her, sending her a glare. "Obviously you have some sort of problem. Go ahead and say it to my face."

"Fine, I will." Camila takes in a deep breath and tries to stare Lauren down, but it doesn't exactly work very well because she's way too worried right now. "I'm sick of you avoiding me. Lo, you're one of my best friends, and I'm sorry that I said something out of line on our... date? And I guess I just... I was worried and my anxiety was getting to me and I kept overanalysing little things and I fucked up and pushed you away. But I tried to apologise and you just went all cold on me and wouldn't talk. It's not just my fault. We both messed up, and I've tried to talk to you on a number of occasions this week but you've just been so frustrating and confusing and I'm sick of it."

Lauren stares at her for a moment, and Camila tries to work out the emotions swimming in her mesmerising emerald eyes, but she doesn't have enough time before Lauren lets out a "I have to go," and stalks out of the library.

"Damn, Walz," Dinah watches after Lauren with a frown, "I definitely didn't expect that."

Camila sighs. "I figured I might as well have been straight with her."

Dinah snorts. "Straight with her? Really? You couldn't be straight if you tried."

Camila gives her friend a playful shove. "Shut up, Cheechee. You know what I meant."

"Well, anyway, I had something else to talk to you about." Dinah starts. "There's this party tonight-"

"Don't you remember what happened the last time I went to a party?" Camila raises her eyebrows. "I don't exactly want a repeat of that."

"It's not one of Lauren's old friends' parties, so you have no excuse not to come." Dinah tells her. "I'll pick you up at six, okay? You're going to go and let loose for a night. Stop stressing so much. Don't worry, I'll look after you."

-

Admittedly, Camila should've known that Dinah's promise to look after her wouldn't have been followed through. Because naturally, her best friend is ridiculously drunk and dancing with some guy, and Camila is sat by herself on an empty couch, sipping on a glass of water.

Parties really aren't for her, Camila decides.

Instead of sitting and looking bored, Camila decides to go for a walk. She's sure that Dinah will be fine, and really, the other girl hadn't paid her any attention for the past half an hour, and Normani is busy talking to some people she knew from middle school, so it's not like she'll be needed.

She walks around the house and does a little people watching, pausing to fill up her glass with more water once she's finished it and pick up a candy bar from the kitchen. Then, she resolves to sit back on the couch with her chocolate and her drink, thinking about things she could be doing rather than wasting her time at some ridiculous party.

She checks her phone for any notifications and plays a few games to occupy herself, finding her phone far more fun than the party Dinah had assured her she'd enjoy.

She's halfway through a level of Geometry Dash when someone flops onto the couch next to her.

"Camz," Camila almost jumps out of her skin when she hears Lauren's raspy voice. "I didn't think you'd be here."

Lauren wraps her arms around her waist and snuggles her face into Camila's neck, and Camila is about ninety percent sure she's dreaming right now.

"Um... hey, Lauren." Camila hugs her back in the most awkward way imaginable. "Are you... uh, okay?"

"I'm _perfect_. You're here." Lauren mumbles into her shoulder, before looking up and pressing her lips to Camila's cheek. "I missed you, Camzi. Now you're here so we can hang out. Isn't that great?"

Camila frowns. "Are you drunk?"

Lauren shrugs. "Kind of? Yeah. Quite a lot. Everything is spinny."

"Spinny?" Camila repeats with raised eyebrows. "Do you want me to take you home?"

Lauren shakes her head so quickly that Camila's slightly worried she's going to make herself sick. "No! You're here. You're not at my house. I want to hang out with you. You're so beautiful."

Camila blushes and bites down on her bottom lip. "Um, thanks Lauren, but you don't mean that. You're drunk."

"I mean everything I say." Lauren folds her arms across her chest and scowls at Camila, but it looks a lot more comical than intimidating. "You're my favourite, Camz. Did you know that? I really like you. Like, a lot."

"Lauren, you can't say things like that." Camila pushes the other girl away when she tries hugging her again. "It messes with my head. Don't say things you wouldn't say sober."

"Drunk actions are sober thoughts, baby." Lauren smiles at her. She grabs her hand and starts playing with Camila's fingers. "I missed you this week. I'm sorry I got mad at you after our date. Will you forgive me?"

"That depends on if it really was a date." Camila replies. "Or if it was just you trying to make something up to me."

Lauren frowns. "Why are you so obsessed with me making things up to you? _God_ , Camz, you were the one that told me not to. If you want me to I will."

"No, don't," Camila shakes her head. "You're just so confusing, Lo."

Lauren raises her eyebrows and her hands move to trace patterns on Camila's neck. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be confusing, Camzi. I'm just really bad at this."

Camila frowns. "At what?"

She doesn't get an answer. Instead, Lauren is interrupted by a boy sitting down next to her. He turns to her with a smirk that Camila assumes is supposed to be attractive. "Hey, Laur, do you want to dance?"

Admittedly, Camila is a little taken aback by the British accent. She's even more shocked by Lauren's response.

"Oh, fuck off, _Brad_ ," Lauren snuggles up to Camila, "if I'm dancing with anyone, I'm dancing with Camila. Hey, Camz, do you want to dance with me?"

Camila lets out an awkward laugh. "Uh, no thanks, Lo. I'm not much of a dancer."

"Fine, we can do something else." Lauren grabs her hand and pulls her away, apparently oblivious to Brad's protests as she drags Camila through the crowds of people. She keeps pulling her until she's outside and they're stood outside Lauren's car. "Let's go on an adventure."

Lauren throws Camila her car keys and jumps into the passenger side, buckling herself in. Camila frowns, and thankfully, before Lauren can say anything else, Ally is rushing over to her with a worried expression on her face.

"Oh, for a second I thought Lauren was going to try to drive." Ally breathes a sigh of relief when she sees Lauren strapped in the passenger seat. "Are you two... have y'all made up? Are you _both_ drunk?"

"All I've had is water, Ally. Don't worry." Camila replies, frowning at Lauren. "And I don't know if we've made up. She just came over to me and started talking to me like nothing has happened. She wants to 'go on an adventure' but I'm going to take her home."

"Okay, good. Make sure she gets in alright." Ally sends an intoxicated Lauren a smile as the other girl taps on the window for her attention. "Night, Lo."

"Allycat," Lauren bangs on the window again, "Camila is taking me on an adventure. Isn't she great?"

"Yeah, she is." Ally laughs. "Y'all have fun, okay?"

"We will," Lauren sends her an enthusiastic grin, "Camz is so wonderful. I think she's one of my favourite people. Sometimes I want to kiss Camz."

Camila's eyes widen in surprise. "What did you just say?"

"Huh?" Lauren pauses, her face dipping into a frown. Her expression brightens again when she remembers something. "Oh, you're wonderful."

Ally lets out an awkward laugh and points back to the house. "I'm going to go back inside and see how Dinah and Mani are doing. Later, y'all."

Once Ally is back inside, Camila walks around the car and gets in the passenger side. She sends Lauren an awkward smile and drums her fingers against her thigh. "Um... so..."

"Adventure." Lauren points in front of them. "Let's go."

Camila nods. "Uh, yeah. We just... need to go to your house to get supplies first. Can't go on an adventure without any adventure gear."

"Okay." Lauren nods and fiddles with her nose ring. "Aren't you going to drive, then?"

"Um, yeah," Camila starts the car and nods, going in the general direction of Lauren's house. It's nearly eleven, and she assumes that the other girl's parents will still be awake, so she won't have to worry about Lauren getting in safe. Then she can be home by her curfew. "So, did you have fun tonight?"

"Not really." Lauren responds. "Brad wouldn't leave me alone. I don't like him. It's so annoying – you kiss a boy one time and suddenly they think you're fucking married or something. Ugh."

"Yeah, I can't exactly relate to that, Lo." Camila laughs. "You know, since I'm gay."

Lauren hums. "Yes. And you haven't been kissed before."

"Yeah. That too." Camila's face turns crimson. "I forgot I told you about that."

"I don't know why you haven't been kissed." Lauren looks her up and down. "Like, honestly, I'd do it. If you want."

For a split second, Camila is tempted to cave and accept the other girl's offer, but she knows that Lauren is drunk and probably doesn't mean anything she's saying right now. "No, that's okay, Lolo."

Lauren frowns at her. "You don't want to kiss me?"

"I- uh, I mean, I would if you were sober." Camila admits, fairly certain that she could pass as a distant relative of a tomato right now. "But you're not sober, are you? You're incredibly drunk and saying tons of things you don't mean. You don't want to kiss me, Lo."

"Don't tell me what I want and don't want." Lauren snaps at her, shuffling in her seat. "Maybe that's why I was mad at you this week. Because you told me that I didn't want to go on a date with you. That time I was sober and that time I wanted to kiss you, but you got mad at me and then you had a panic attack, and then you snapped at me in the car so I didn't."

Camila's heart is beating ten times faster than it should be. "Lauren, are you saying that you like me?"

" _Yes_. God, Camila, for someone so smart, you're really slow." Lauren folds her arms across her chest, but then her eyes widen. "Wait, do you like me too? If you don't then... then I don't like you either."

Camila laughs, because really, Lauren looks adorable right now. And while she knows the other girl doesn't know what she's saying right now, she figures she might as well admit her feelings. It's not like Lauren will remember any of it in the morning.

"Yes, Lauren." Camila nods. "I like you. Romantically, I mean. I don't think I've ever stopped liking you."

"Does that mean I can kiss you then?" Lauren asks her in the most innocent and adorable way possible.

"I... when you're sober, yes." Camila nods. "But _only_ when you're sober. I don't need any drunk kisses to complicate things. Sober you hates me right now. Besides, drunk you kissed _Brad_ , so we can't really trust her actions."

"But... sober me thinks you're pretty, too. And she doesn't hate you. She likes you. I can tell you that for a fact." Lauren replies. "She was just mad at you. But then you told me off in the library today. I think you were right. I'm sorry for making you feel bad for your anxiety. I just want to help, Camz. I don't want you to be constantly paranoid around me."

"You know, drunk Lauren can be very coherent." Camila smiles at her as she pulls up outside Lauren's house. "I appreciate it. I'd rather we talked about this stuff tomorrow though. When you're not drunk out of your mind. Text me or something. If you even remember this."

Lauren pouts. "Aren't you going to come in with me?"

Camila blinks in surprise. "Do you want me to come in with you?"

"Duh," Lauren laughs and rolls her eyes. "We're going to have a slumber party. You know, after we go on our adventure."

"Um, okay then," Camila unbuckles her seatbelt and helps Lauren out of the car. She keeps an arm securely around Lauren's waist as she walks her to the front door, the other girl nearly tripping up the porch steps. She digs Lauren's key out of her back pocket for her and opens the front door. "Come on. Be quiet, we don't want to disturb-"

"Lauren Michelle Jauregui, we told you to be home by- oh."

Camila nearly jumps out of her skin when she sees a man in front of her, and realises it's probably Lauren's dad, who she has yet to meet. Either that, or Lauren's brother Chris is older than she initially thought.

Camila decides to explain as Lauren fumbles with her shoelaces. "Um... hi, Mr Jauregui, Lauren and I were-"

"Dad, this is Camz. You know about her, right?" Lauren kicks her shoes off and pushes Camila towards her dad. "Look. She's my favourite."

Her dad just raises his eyebrows. "Lauren Michelle, how much have you had to drink?"

"Um... I don't really know. I stopped keeping track once the room started spinning." Lauren shrugs, uncaring. "But this is Camila. You haven't met her yet and she's-"

"Lauren, maybe you should introduce me to your dad tomorrow." Camila lets out an awkward laugh. Then, she looks up and addresses Mr Jauregui. "It's nice to meet you, Mr Jauregui. Like she said, I'm Camila Cabello. Apparently I'm Lauren's favourite. Whatever that means."

"Call me Mike, Camila," Mike sends Lauren a teasing grin, "I've heard lots about you. It's nice to meet the famous _Camz_."

Lauren scoffs. "You make it sound like I talk about her all the time. That's not true. I don't talk about her _all_ the time. Just sometimes."

Mike laughs. "Okay, because you're drunk I won't embarrass you too much. I'll wait until you're sober to bring out all of my funny stories to tell Camila. Go upstairs and get some sleep. Will Camila be staying over?"

"Yep," Lauren replies, popping the 'p'. "We're going on an adventure."

"Oh, really?" Mike looks at Camila for confirmation, who just shakes her head. "Well, I hope you two have fun."

The living room door opens before Lauren can reply and Clara leans out. "How drunk is she? Oh, Camila, Lauren didn't tell me you'd be coming back with her."

"Yeah, she didn't tell me either." Camila laughs. "We were at the party and I didn't even know she was there. She just came and dragged me out and told me we were going on an adventure."

"Yes, we are," Lauren nods. "We just need... adventure supplies. Like a tent in case it rains. That's why we're here."

"I thought..." Clara looks between them, "Lauren told me that you two had had a little disagreement."

"We did, but Camzi knows I'm sorry for being confusing." Lauren looks to Camila for confirmation. "Right, Camz? I told you I was sorry for being confusing and you told me you were sorry for... something else. I don't remember. I think we've made up now. I don't like fighting with Camila."

"Yeah, we've made up." Camila confirms and squeezes Lauren's hand. She turns to Clara with a smile. "I'm going to get her to bed. Do you have any aspirin? I don't want her hangover to be too bad."

"I'll make sure she gets an aspirin and a glass of water." Clara replies. "Thank you for looking after her."

"It's not a problem." Camila helps Lauren up the stairs and towards her bedroom, making sure her friend doesn't trip on anything.

"Camz?" Lauren looks up at her as Camila helps her down on her bed. "Are you going to sleep over? I want to snuggle with you like we always do."

Camila swallows the lump in her throat and nods. "I'll stay as long as you want me."

"I'll always want you."

When Camila looks back at Lauren, the older Cuban's emerald eyes are piercing straight through her. "Um... yeah, I'll just... I'll go outside while you get into your pyjamas."

Lauren laughs. "Camz, sit down. It's not like I'll be naked."

Camila isn't sure whether she wants to kiss Lauren or slap her, because the idea of a naked Lauren Jauregui is now planted into her head and she really doesn't know how to get that mental image away. That's really not good for her mental health.

Before Camila can protest to anything, Lauren has already unbuttoned her plaid shirt and started taking off her jeans, reaching under her pillow for her pyjamas. It takes her a few minutes to find them, and then she pulls on an old sweater and a pair of sleep shorts, turning to Camila expectantly.

Really, Camila is a little more bothered about the quick glimpse of Lauren's abs she got, which is now permanently burned into her brain. _Great_.

"Aren't you going to get changed?" Lauren frowns at her. "You need to get into your PJs, Camz. That way we can snuggle."

"This isn't my house, Lo. I don't have my pyjamas with me." Camila points out. "I could always borrow some of yours, but-"

"Yes," Lauren exclaims and practically trips over her own feet as she makes her way to her wardrobe. She pulls out a sweater and launches it across the room in what she assumes is Camila's direction, but it ends up landing about three feet to her right. "Do you want some pants too?"

Camila nods. "I think that'd be a good idea."

While Lauren is distracted by digging through her pyjama drawer, Camila changes into the sweater Lauren had given her. It's a little big on her, but it's comfortable as hell and it smells like Lauren, so she isn't going to complain.

"Found some," Lauren holds out a pair of pyjama shorts and Camila takes them with a smile, taking off her jeans and pulling them on, fully aware of Lauren staring at her. "Do you want to watch a movie?"

"Lauren, it's 11PM," Camila rolls her eyes, but then freezes. "Oh no. That's my curfew. I need to message my mom."

Camila grabs her phone from her jeans pocket and sends her mom a quick text, explaining that she's at Lauren's and promising to be home as soon as she can be in the morning.

Lauren just watches her. "So that's a no to the movie then?"

"We're not watching a movie at 11 at night, Lo. Maybe tomorrow." Camila offers. "You know, if you're not mad at me still."

Lauren just rolls her eyes and tugs her over to the bed. "Come on. Bedtime."

Camila lays down in the bed, trying to keep a decent amount of distance between herself and Lauren, but it doesn't work all that well, because Lauren shuffles up next to her and snuggles her face into Camila's neck.

"Um... night, Lo." Camila awkwardly wraps her arms around Lauren. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Goodnight, Camzi." Lauren kisses her on the cheek and beams at her. "Sweet dreams."

With that, Lauren closes her eyes and gets herself comfortable, drifting off to sleep in seconds. Camila, on the other hand, lays awake for hours, replaying the feeling of Lauren's soft lips on her cheek over and over again.

-

When Camila wakes up, the other side of the bed is cold. She goes to open her eyes, but she hears a rustling in the bathroom and then footsteps, and keeps her eyes tightly shut. The bed sinks under added weight, and there's shuffling until Camila feels a warmth against her again, and she knows that it's Lauren.

Lauren Jauregui is cuddling her. Willingly. While sober. And they still haven't talked over how badly their date had ended.

It isn't long before Lauren's breathing becomes shallower, and Camila knows that she's fallen asleep again. Carefully, she reaches over to Lauren's bedside table and checks her phone, deciding that since it's 10:30, she should probably get up. As sneakily as she can, she shuffles out of bed, careful not to wake Lauren, and makes her way downstairs.

Naturally, Lauren's entire family are in the kitchen eating breakfast, and she's stood there with ruffled hair and wearing Lauren's clothes.

"Whoa, Lauren's girlfriend is hot, mom."

Camila's eyes widen and she stares at the boy, the only member of the Jauregui family she hasn't met yet. And obviously, the member of Lauren's family who knows least about her life. Girlfriend? No way.

" _Chris_ ," Clara scolds, "don't be rude. Camila, would you like anything to eat? Is Lauren up? How is she feeling?"

"Lauren's not awake yet." Camila starts slowly, unsure as to whether she should correct Chris and tell him that she and Lauren are just friends. "And... if you're offering, I guess I could have something? As long as I'm not intruding-"

Mike laughs. "She wouldn't offer if it'd be a problem. Sit down, I'll plate you up some food."

"Okay," Camila sits down in the only free seat, in between Chris and Taylor. She assumes it's the one Lauren usually occupies. "Thank you, Mike."

"So," Chris turns to her again with a smirk, "I don't think we've met yet. I'm Chris. You're Camila, yeah? Lauren doesn't shut up about you. It's actually kind of cute."

"She talks about me?" Camila asks, admittedly a little shocked. "That's... really sweet of her. She's a really good friend."

"So you two aren't a thing?" Taylor looks up from her breakfast with a frown. "Because we were all kind of confused on that."

Camila bites down on her bottom lip and shakes her head. As much as she'd like to be Lauren's girlfriend, she finds it hard to believe that the stuff Lauren had said to her last night was her being honest. "No. We're just friends."

Chris goes to ask her another question, but Clara cuts in. "I'm sure Camila doesn't want to talk about her love life at the breakfast table. Leave the poor girl alone."

 _Thank god for Clara Jauregui,_ Camila thinks as Mike puts a plate and a knife and fork down in front of her.

"Thank you," Camila smiles gratefully before tucking in. Thankfully, the conversation drifts off of her and onto something to do with one of Taylor's friends, and she's content with listening in, occasionally contributing with a yes or no when she's asked a question.

She finishes her breakfast quickly and thanks Mike and Clara, before excusing herself back up to Lauren's room. Admittedly, she's a little worried when she opens the door and her friend is gone from the bed, but she notices that the bathroom door is closed and connects the dots.

She flops back down on Lauren's bed and lets out a sigh, picking up her phone and reading the four texts on the lock screen. She doesn't bother replying to the one from her mom, which is just Sinu giving her permission to stay at Lauren's, but she does respond to the ones from Dinah.

**_China Jane (11:38PM): yo chanchooooo where u at??? ur missing all the fun! xoxoxox_ **

**_China Jane (11:41PM): never mind ally told me u went home with lauser lmao have fun making out_ **

**_China Jane (11:41PM): whoops i meant making UP obviously_ **

**_Walz (10:56AM): for some reason i think that 'typo' was intentional_ **

**_Walz (10:56AM): have fun nursing your hangover today cheechee_ **

She locks her phone and puts it back on Lauren's nightstand, hearing the other girl's footsteps. For a second, she genuinely considers faking being asleep, because she's dreading the awkward conversation they're probably going to have.

Really, Camila isn't sure which scenario is worse – the one where Lauren remembers the things she said last night, or the one where she doesn't.

Either way, when she comes face to face with the emerald eyed beauty, she has no idea what to say.

She clears her throat and fiddles with the drawstrings on the hoodie she's wearing. "Um... good morning."

"Hey," Lauren pushes her messy hair out of her face and sends her a grin, and Camila is a little shocked. "Thanks for looking after me last night, Camz. Drunk Lauren tends to do some pretty stupid things sometimes."

At the nickname, Camila's mood significantly brightens and she feels her stomach flip. "It wasn't a problem. I'm not really a party person anyway and I kind of wanted to get out of there."

Lauren sits down on her bed with a frown. "Why'd you go then?"

"Dinah forced me. She told me that I needed to stop moping and 'let loose'." Camila laughs a little. "Really, all I did was sit on a stranger's couch and play iPhone games."

Lauren hums. "Why were you moping?"

Camila shrugs. "I had my reasons. I'm not moping anymore though."

Lauren doesn't push her for a less vague answer. Instead, she leans forward and pulls Camila into a hug. "I'm sorry for being so bitchy this past week. I guess I took what you said to me to heart and didn't really think before getting mad at you. I know that you can't help being worried about people's intentions but I pushed that fact aside because my feelings got hurt a little. I'll try to be more understanding in the future."

Camila hugs her back, burying her face into Lauren's neck. "I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have snapped at you like I did. Can we just... forget that it ever happened?"

"Of course." Lauren nods. "Are we good?"

"We're good." Camila confirms and pulls away, smiling at her friend. "So... how much do you remember from last night?"

"Bits and pieces." Lauren says, and Camila isn't sure if that's good or bad. "I remember Brad not leaving me alone, so I got drunk to tolerate him. I remember hugging you a lot more than necessary. I can recall something about an adventure?"

Camila laughs. "Yeah, you kept telling me that we were going on an adventure. I don't know where to, exactly."

"Well, judging by my headache, I was pretty drunk, and drunk me tends to say some weird stuff." Lauren replies. She pauses for a moment and looks Camila up and down. "Like... stuff about kissing."

"You remember that?" Camila asks, her heartbeat picking up. "Um... do you remember the things I said?"

Lauren shrugs. "Not really. I can remember talking about how annoyed I was that Brad kept trying to kiss me, and then you saying that you couldn't relate, and then me offering to kiss you. And you telling me to do it when I'm sober."

"Oh," Camila swallows the lump in her throat and nods. "Right, well, I-"

Lauren interrupts her. "I'm sober now."

"Are you saying-" Camila blinks in surprise, "you want to..."

Lauren nods and shuffles forwards, her hands snaking around Camila's waist. "Is that okay, Camz?"

"I, uh," Camila pulls away and shakes her head. "I want to take you out on a date first. A real one, where I pay, and where I'm not confused the whole night about if it's actually a date or not."

Lauren leans in and pecks her on the cheek. "Sure. Okay. I like the sound of that."

"Don't get me wrong, I've wanted to kiss you since like, sixth grade," Camila points out, before realising how dorky that sounds and cringing. "I just want to take things slow. Test the waters a little."

"That's fine by me, Camz. I want you to be comfortable." Lauren replies to her, sending her a genuine smile. "I care about you and I want things to be perfect. I'd really love to go on a date with you."

Camila grins. "Okay. Good. Are you free next Friday?"

"No, actually," Lauren shakes her head and Camila deflates, "I've got a hot date with this really cute girl. You might know her. Her name is Karla Estrabao?"

Camila gives Lauren a playful shove. "Oh, shut up. You scared me for a second there."

Lauren rolls her eyes. "Come _on_ , Camz, I made it pretty obvious that I liked you. The girls all knew it. Mostly because I told Mani and she went and gossiped with Dinah and Ally about it. I'm pretty sure they were conspiring to make 'Camren' happen."

"Camren?" Camila frowns. "What's that?"

"It's their name for us. Camila and Lauren combined." Lauren replies. "Dinah's the one who came up with it. Every time I was alone with her she'd say it just to annoy me. She crowned herself the captain of the ship."

"That explains why she'd always question me about how I felt towards you." Camila folds her arms across her chest. "I'm _so_ going to get her back one day. If she wanted us to date so badly, she could've just _told_ me you liked me back."

"Not her fault," Lauren shakes her head. "She was sworn to secrecy. In all fairness, she wouldn't tell me if you liked me either."

"You asked her?" Camila blinks in surprised. "Really?"

"Of course. She's the one you talk to about stuff, so I figured if you liked me back, she'd know." Lauren replies. "When she found out about me liking you, I casually asked if she knew about you liking anyone. Specifically me."

Camila smiles. "You could've asked me, you know."

"Oh, yeah, totally," Lauren scoffs, "Just like _you_ could've asked _me_."

"You're the one who isn't socially awkward." Camila points out. "Really, if one of us was going to ask the other out, it would've been you. Which you _did_. You asked me out in the hospital."

"To be fair, it wasn't exactly clear that I was asking you out romantically." Lauren retorts. "Besides, you could've guessed I liked you from the fact I flirted with you every chance I got. Mani kept making jokes about how whipped I was."

"You did _not_ flirt with me." Camila shakes her head. "No way, Lo."

Lauren raises an eyebrow. "I flirted with you practically every day. You were just too oblivious."

"Sometimes I picked up on some possibly flirty things." Camila admits, looking Lauren up and down. "Mostly I just brushed them off, though. It was like... I didn't think that _you_ would flirt with _me_. Especially because of things that happened in the past."

"Camila, you realise that if you hadn't moved away in seventh grade, I probably would've spent eighth grade with you?" Lauren says, and Camila has to admit she's a little shocked. "After what I did I felt so fucking bad and I couldn't stand being around my friends. If you were still there, I would've apologised to you and ditched Alexa and everyone. Being around them just reminded me of how guilty I felt. Why do you think I left the private school after eighth grade and stopped talking to them?"

"Do you think... maybe we could go to the junior prom together? Like... as a date?" Camila asks, brushing off everything Lauren said. "I know it's literally ages away and I know that neither of us is really keen on school dances, but I want you to be my date and I want it to be everything that our seventh grade dance wasn't."

"Yeah. Okay." Lauren nods. "I'd like that a lot. Maybe this time I'll actually get you some punch."

Camila snorts with laughter. "Yeah, if you don't then you can be sure there won't be any more dates after that. A girl needs her punch, Lo."

"In my defence, I did get you it eventually." Lauren grins. "It just took me a few years."

Camila smiles and weaves her fingers between the older Latina's. "You're lucky you're so attractive, otherwise I wouldn't be giving you a second date. At least you've slightly improved your date etiquette."

"Actually, I think our impending date is the _third_ date." Lauren folds her arms across her chest. "I _did_ take you out last week."

"Ignoring how it ended, I'd say it was a pretty good date two." Camila agrees. "Fine. But date three is on me. I've already decided on that."

Lauren just smiles in response.


	10. Chapter 10

“You don’t understand how nervous I am, Mani.” Camila taps her fingers against the desk and glances up at the clock. “I’m taking Lauren on a freaking _date_ in four hours. Like… _what_?”

“I know, I’ve heard.” Normani laughs. “Lauren doesn’t shut up about it either.”

“I’m just a little freaked out.” Camila admits, as if Normani can’t tell by the way she’s bouncing her leg up and down. “What if I screw up and then our friendship is effectively ruined?”

“Mila, you could take her for a picnic in a damn graveyard and Lauren would still be completely heart eyes over you.” Normani rolls her eyes. “I can’t believe it took you so long to catch on. Dinah and I were actually thinking about meddling but Ally said we should let you guys figure it out on your own.”

“In my defence, Lauren just has this naturally flirty aura.” Camila says. “Like, she draws you to her.”

Normani raises an eyebrow. “No, Mila, I think it’s just you who gets that from her. Mostly because she never stops flirting with you. It’s even worse now that she knows you like her back.”

Camila practically jumps out of her seat when the bell rings, signalling the end of class and the school day. “Oh my god, what if it’s awkward after she drops you guys off at home and then it’s just me and her in the car? With the knowledge that I’m probably going to _kiss_ her tonight- oh god, Mani, I can’t deal with-”

“Camila, it’s going to be fine,” Normani interrupts her, “You like Lauren, she likes you, you’re going to go on a date and have fun, and then you’re probably going to spam Dinah about how much fun you had and how soft her lips are or whatever. Relax.”

Camila is practically bouncing as she waits for Normani to pack her things away, and she’s skipping as she follows the other girl to Lauren’s car. When she sees her friend, she automatically pulls her in for a koala hug. “Hey, Lo. How are you? I’m great right now, honestly. Ecstatic.”

“What’s got you so… hyper?” Lauren looks her over with a frown as Camila pulls away from the hug. “You seem significantly crazier than you were earlier.”

“Oh, I don’t know, there’s just this thing I’m doing tonight that I’m really excited for.” Camila elusively replies as she opens the passenger door to Lauren’s car. “Been waiting a long time for it, so you can’t really blame me for being so hyped. I’m also kind of nervous, but… you know, I’m trying to block that out with the happy. You get me?”

“I get you,” Lauren replies to her, before closing Camila’s door and circling the car to get into the driver’s side. She sits down and buckles herself in, before turning to Camila with a soft smile. “Don’t be nervous, Camz. You know it’s just me.”

Except that was it. It wasn’t _just_ Lauren. Lauren could never be _just_ anything. Lauren was everything, and that was the most intimidating thing about her.

Camila doesn’t voice her worries, though. Instead, she nods and sends her friend a reserved smile. “Yeah. It’s just you.”

She doesn’t talk much as the rest of the girls get dropped off at their houses, and she tries to avoid conversation with Lauren as much as she can when they’re left alone, because she’s far too concerned about the fact that they’re going to go on a _date_. She’s going on an actual date with the girl she’s liked since sixth grade.

It’s all a little too much for Camila to wrap her head around.

“Do you need me to pick you up tonight?”

Camila blinks in surprise and looks up at Lauren, realising that the car has come to a stop next to her house. “Um, no. My mom is letting me borrow her car. I’ll be at yours by… like, six? I can come later if you want me to, I don’t really- um, I guess I’m just really nervous because I’ve never been on a date and it’s not _just you_ , you’re Lauren fucking Jauregui and I’ve had a crush on you for _years_ , it’s not- it’s easier for you and-”

“Camz,” Lauren cuts her off and grabs her hand, “you’re rambling.”

“I was, wasn’t I?” Camila lets out an awkward laugh and bites down on her lip. “I’m just- I’m a lot more nervous than I initially let on.”

“Why, though? Like I said before, it’s just me. It’s not like it’ll be a different me tonight.” Lauren nudges her playfully. “Nothing will go wrong, Camz. It’s not like I don’t have feelings for you too. If I didn’t, we wouldn’t be doing this.”

“How are you so calm about this whole thing?” Camila looks at her in awe. “I feel like I want to puke when I think about it.”

Lauren laughs. “Should I be offended that the thought of going on a date with me is so nauseating you want to vomit?”

“No, I didn’t mean it like that,” Camila goes to apologise, but is quick to realise that Lauren’s just teasing her. Naturally. “I want to puke in both an excited and nervous way. Like I said, it’s different for you because it’s not like you’ve had a crush on me since sixth grade.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Lauren hums in agreement, “I just don’t get why you’re so intimidated by the idea of going on a date together, though. We’ve hung out before by ourselves plenty of times and it’s not like I’m going to send my evil doppelganger on this date or whatever.”

“Did your evil doppelganger happen to be the one to take me to the dance in seventh grade? Because she can go fuck herself.” Camila tries to joke, and thankfully, Lauren laughs.

(That’s not really much of a shock though. Lauren laughs at all of her jokes.)

“Yeah, actually. I’ve kept her locked in the basement ever since. Nobody hurts my Camzi and gets away with it.” Lauren squeezes her hand. “On a serious note though, don’t worry about tonight. It’s just us hanging out in a slightly less than platonic manner.”

“Exactly, the whole ‘not-platonic’ thing is what terrifies me.” Camila shakily admits, looking over Lauren’s face for any trace of anger or disappointment at her words. Finding nothing, she decides it’s safe to continue. “I guess the thought that I’m probably going to be kissing you tonight kind of scares me. What if I disappoint you? What if I’m not good at it and you stop liking me?”

Camila cringes, because that sounds a whole lot like she’s trying to invalidate Lauren’s feelings towards her, and that’s what made her angry on their last date. That’s why she didn’t talk to her for a whole two weeks.

She braces herself for the inevitable angry rant and realises that she probably just ruined the whole date before it’d even started, but Lauren doesn’t yell at her.

Lauren _laughs_.

“Camila, you seriously think that-” Lauren cuts herself off with another laugh, “I don’t care how good a kisser you are. I know you’ve never been kissed before and I’m not expecting you to be an expert on it. We’ll work through that together.”

While she’s a little shocked by Lauren’s explanation, she’s more bothered about the fact that she’s laughing at her. “Why are you laughing, though? I don’t get why it’s funny.”

“It’s just that-” Lauren shakes her head and stifles another laugh, “the notion that I could be _disappointed_ by kissing _you_ is just ridiculous.”

“You _could_ ,” Camila retorts, “it’s not that far-fetched.”

“It is, though.” Lauren shoots back with an eye roll. “Camz, I’ve been wanting to kiss you all week, and you don’t know _how_ amazing it’ll be when I finally get to do that tonight. Restraining myself for the past week has been a lot of effort.”

Camila turns a bright crimson colour at Lauren’s admission. “Wait, really? You really want to kiss me?”

More laughter. Of course. “Camz, you’re so dense. _Yeah,_ I want to kiss you.”

Camila sighs and gives Lauren a playful shove. “Don’t call me dense. It’s not every day your ridiculously attractive crush tells you she wants to kiss you, okay?”

“Yeah, but when the same crush told you she liked you and wanted to kiss you _last week_ , it’s probably safe to assume that she still wants to kiss you this week.” Lauren retorts with an eye roll. “Now get your ass inside. I need to get home and prepare for my hot date tonight.”

“Alright, alright, I’m going,” Camila opens the car door and sends Lauren one last smile. “Thanks for letting me get all of that out, Lo. I’ll see you later.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Lauren shrugs. “Even if you were going on a date with someone else, you could’ve talked to me about any reservations. I’m your friend before I’m anything else.”

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.” Camila leans over and hugs Lauren as tightly as she can. “I’ll be at your house at six.”

“I’ll be ready.” Lauren sends her one last fleeting smile as Camila closes the passenger door and makes her way inside, aware of her friend’s green eyes watching her until the door closes behind her.

-

Camila knocks on the door with three consecutive taps, her hands shaking a ridiculous amount. She tries to still them, but really, there’s no use – her nerves are getting the better of her and the amount of time it’s taking for Lauren to answer the door isn’t helping.

After what feels like a lifetime, the door swings open, but it’s not Lauren stood behind it. It’s Mike.

“Oh, Camila,” he sends her a smile but doesn’t move to let her in, “I don’t think this is a good time. Lauren’s busy tonight.”

Camila blinks in confusion. Surely Lauren would’ve texted her last minute if she was going to cancel, and the thought of cancelling their date is so unlike Lauren that she’s a little worried. “Why? Did something happen? Is she okay?”

“No, she’s fine,” Mike laughs, “I thought you’d know already, actually. Clara tells me she has a date tonight. I’ve been waiting in the lounge to intimidate whoever it is when they show up.”

Camila lets out an awkward laugh. “Uh, yeah, I knew she was going on a date. Mostly because she’s going on a date with me.”

“Oh,” Mike’s eyes widen and he moves aside to let her in. “Well, Clara didn’t mention that part. I thought you said you two were just friends.”

“We were. We still are, I guess.” Camila awkwardly explains. “I liked her and didn’t think that the feeling would be mutual so I never said anything to her. She was the one to tell me – that night when she was drunk.”

“Mike,” Clara comes out of the living room door and sends her husband a warning look, “you’d better not be trying your father intimidation tactics out on Camila. We already know she’s a lovely young lady. Leave her be.”

“I’m not,” Mike moves past Camila to head into the lounge as Clara sends her a warm smile. “I just wasn’t told that Lauren’s date was Camila.”

“I could’ve sworn I mentioned that,” Clara rolls her eyes as Mike walks past her. Then, she turns to address Camila. “You can go on up to Lauren’s room. She’s probably still getting ready.”

“Okay. It’s nice to see you again, Mrs Jauregui.” Camila sends her a polite smile as she heads towards the stairs.

As Clara tells her that ‘Mrs Jauregui’ is too formal and to just call her by her first name, Camila hears Mike order that they “keep the door open,” and turns bright red as they head up the stairs. When she reaches Lauren’s bedroom door, she knocks, her hands shaking a lot more than they were before.

When the door opens and she finally meets those familiar emerald eyes, Camila feels her heart stop.

As per usual, Lauren looks absolutely gorgeous, and Camila feels ridiculously upstaged. She’s wearing a plain white dress that hugs her curves perfectly, her hair wavy but not in the usual way. No, she’d done something different that Camila can’t quite put her finger on, but she knows that she likes it a lot. Her makeup is expertly applied – probably courtesy of Normani, because she’s practically a professional makeup artist – and the warm smile that’s settled on her face is enough to make Camila’s heart jump and her stomach flutter and her cheeks to turn a soft pink.

“Um… hey.” Camila bites down on her bottom lip and turns red at her lame attempt at greeting. “You look… _wow_.”

Lauren laughs and reaches forwards to grab Camila’s hand. “Really? Because I happen to think that you’re very _wow_ , too.”

“That was… really lame, Lo,” Camila teases her, but she’s still a little distracted looking over her friend’s outfit. Because honestly, _wow_ was the only word that Camila could form just looking at her. “You’re just… this is so-”

“ _Wow_?” Lauren raises an eyebrow and sends her a teasing smirk. “Come on, Camz. We have a date to go on.”

Tentatively, Camila takes hold of Lauren’s hand and realises that this isn’t just a platonic thing anymore. She’s holding Lauren’s hand because they like each other and they’re about to go on a date and Camila finds that incredibly hard to comprehend as she’s tugged down the stairs.

Lauren says goodbye to her parents and promises to be home by her curfew, and then she lets Camila lead her out of the front door by her hand. They get into the car and Camila starts to drive, unsure about how she should fill the comfortable silence between them.

Thankfully, Lauren speaks up first. “So, what’s the plan?”

“Um, well, dinner,” Camila nervously tells her, “we’re going for dinner. And then, uh, I was thinking about taking you somewhere. A secret somewhere.”

Lauren hums in thought. “Okay. Just don’t take me out to the woods and sell my soul to the devil or something, okay? I kind of need my soul.”

Camila snorts with laughter. “If either one of us is the devil worshipper, it’s you. You’re the one who drinks alcohol and- do you smoke? I don’t think you smoke.”

“Not cigarettes.” Lauren replies, which leaves Camila confused for a good few minutes until she realises what she means.

“ _Lauren_ ,” when the realisation finally hits her, Camila scolds her, “you can’t do that. That’s- it’s _illegal_.”

“I never said I did anything.” Lauren says, but the smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth tells Camila that she’s completely right in her assumption. “I just said that I don’t smoke cigarettes. Which I don’t.”

Deciding to drop it, Camila just rolls her eyes. “You’re so difficult, Jauregui.”

Lauren just laughs. “Yeah, but you _like_ it. You’ve liked it since sixth grade.”

“Don’t get cocky.” Camila scolds her. “I could just as easily _un_ like it.”

They both know that’s a complete lie, and honestly, Camila even laughs at the thought. She can’t imagine her feelings for Lauren being anything other than romantic, and finds her attempts at supressing those feelings were just ridiculous.

“Hey, Camz,” Lauren gets her attention again, “I’m really glad we’re doing this.”

“Me too.” Camila replies. “It’s still so hard to comprehend, though. Like, this isn’t platonic anymore. You’re holding hands with me because you _like_ me. _You_ like _me_. Lauren fucking Jauregui likes _me_.”

“I’ve always liked you, Camz,” Lauren rolls her eyes. “I happen to think that Camila fucking Cabello is pretty fucking dope. And I also thought that Karla was damn cute too, which is why I’m glad we’re on our official third date.”

“Don’t forget about our proposed Disneyworld date.” Camila reminds her. “I swear, the next chance I get, we’re going to Disneyworld and we’re going to kiss in front of the Disney castle and take loads of dorky romantic pictures for Instagram.”

Lauren hums in thought. “Alexa follows my Instagram. I’d love to rub those pictures in her face.”

“Definitely.” Camila smiles. “I want a selfie tonight, too. Our first _real_ date needs to be documented.”

Lauren laughs. “Okay, fine. I brought my Polaroid because I want some pictures to put on my wall. Which reminds me…” she trails off and pulls the camera out, snapping a picture of Camila. “Picture number one, done.”

Camila shakes her head. “You’d better not put that anywhere. I’m _driving_ , I hardly look good.”

“I happen to think that you look beautiful right now.” Lauren tells her. “You’re always beautiful, Camz.”

“You’re so flirty lately.” Camila comments, thinking back to what Normani had said to her earlier in the day. “I… I kind of love it. It’s still really surreal, though. It’s like- the girl I’ve liked since I realised I like girls is openly flirting with me. And she wants to kiss me. Crazy.”

Lauren laughs, reaching over and squeezing Camila’s thigh. “Of course I want to kiss you, Camz. I’ve always kind of wanted to. Even before the dance.”

Camila’s eyes widen. “You didn’t tell me that.”

“I thought you might think it was weird.” Lauren replies, shrugging. “I don’t know, it was when I was questioning everything and I always noticed how whenever you’d smile at me I’d feel all fuzzy. After I asked you to the dance I realised that I’d done it partially because I wanted to take you, and while we were there you’d said loads of things that made me feel… valued, I guess.”

Camila frowns. She remembers complimenting Lauren a lot that night, but mostly because it was her attempt at flirting. “What do you mean?”

“I know it sounds dumb, but I remember you saying that you’d come to my softball games.” Lauren says. “Keaton never did. You said you’d go to support me even though you didn’t know much about softball and that meant a lot.”

“It’s not dumb.” Camila assures her. “That offer still stands, you know. I’d come to all of your softball games.”

“I’ll let you know when the next one is, okay?” Lauren looks up at her with a nervous smile, and it’s actually kind of comforting to know that Lauren might be just as nervous as Camila is. “I’d really love it if you were there.”

“I’ll be there.” Camila promises as she pulls into the parking lot of the restaurant she’d chosen. “Um, we’re here. I hope you like Italian food.”

Lauren gets out of the car and holds her hand out to Camila, and the younger Latina’s stomach flips at the gesture, because they’re really doing this. They’re really on a date.

“So, after this, what’s the second location?” Lauren asks. “Like, give me a hint.”

“You won’t guess it.” Camila says as she links her fingers with Lauren’s and tugs her towards the restaurant. “That’s your hint.”

Lauren rolls her eyes. “I guess I’ll have to wait and see then.”

“I guess you will.” Camila takes a leap and pushes her lips to Lauren’s cheek, before addressing one of the restaurant staff. “Um, hi, I have a booking for two under Cabello.”

Lauren squeezes her hand as they’re led towards their table, and Camila tries her best to be as chivalrous as possible and pull Lauren’s chair out for her. Once Camila is sat down, she gazes at the menus they’ve been given, even though she knows she’s going to order a pepperoni pizza like she usually does.

“Camz,” Lauren reaches across the table and grabs her hand, “Just letting you know, this is already the best date I’ve been on. In case you were worried or something.”

Camila blushes and squeezes Lauren’s hand. “Good. That’s really good to know. I’ve never taken a girl out before, so I’m really relieved that it’s going well.”

Lauren smiles. “You have nothing to worry about. I’m all yours, Camzi.”

Somehow, that’s enough to make Camila forget about her nerves.

-

“So, uh… I know this is kind of weird, but this is the second location.” Camila pushes through a few bushes and gestures around her, showing Lauren the view of Miami Beach. She’d driven them up a hill and they had the perfect view of the bright blue ocean and the almost empty beach. “This is where I’d come when things got a little too much. It was like, my special place. And I wanted to share that with you.”

Lauren sits down next to her and takes hold of her hand. “You came here during middle school?”

“Yeah. I found it one day after we- um, had those swimming lessons. I was feeling really bad about myself and I came up here for a walk with my iPod and tripped over a log and ended up here. I spent hours listening to music and looking out at the ocean. It was really calming.” Camila explains. “After that, it was just… my place to hang out whenever I was upset. Every time something bad would happen, I’d come here. The night I moved back I came up here and I was so angry at my family for bringing me back. I wanted nothing more than to jump on the next plane to California or get… abducted by aliens and sent back to the wrong state or something.”

Lauren fiddles with Camila’s fingers. “Do you still feel that way now? Like, if aliens came over to us and offered you a ride back to California, would you go with them?”

“Not at all.” Camila rests her head on Lauren’s shoulder and practically melts into the other girl when she feels her arms wrap around her. “I would tell the aliens to go screw themselves. I have you, Dinah, Mani and Ally. And you guys make me happy. One of you especially.”

“Oh really?” Lauren raises her eyebrows and smirks. “Who would that be?”

“Dinah.” Camila replies with a teasing smile. At Lauren’s scoff and playful shove, she rolls her eyes. “Obviously it’s you, Lo. You’re my best friend but you’re also so much more than that. That’s why I brought you here. To show you that I trust you.”

Lauren’s hand finds its way through Camila’s hair and stills at the nape of her neck. “Good. Because I trust you too.”

Camila’s hands rest on Lauren’s waist and her eyes glance at the older Latina’s soft, plump lips, and she realises how much she wants to kiss her and how terrified she is to actually do it. She wants to lean in so badly, but she can’t make herself move, because what if she’s a bad kisser, and what if she puts Lauren off, and what if Lauren doesn’t want to be with her anymore if she sucks at their first kiss?

It’s Lauren who makes the first move.

When soft lips meet her own, Camila’s heart stops, and decides to overcompensate when it restarts. Everything around her melts away, the sound of the ocean and the warm breeze fading into the background, because the only thing that’s on Camila’s mind is the way Lauren’s fingers are tracing her jawline and how her own hands are touching the older Latina’s waist. The stereotypical fireworks don’t go off, but that’s okay, because being with Lauren does so much more. Being with Lauren makes her feel fuzzy inside, the imaginary butterflies in her stomach going wild, her nerves set alight.

Lauren’s fingers disappear into Camila’s hair and the older girl pulls away, quickly reattaching her lips to the base of Camila’s neck. The younger Latina sharply sucks in a breath, because while she loves the feeling of Lauren’s soft lips kissing her neck, this is all moving a little bit too fast for her liking. Lightly, she presses her hands against Lauren’s shoulders and pushes her away, sending her a nervous smile.

“What’s wrong?” Lauren asks her, concern lighting up her bright green eyes. “Are you okay?”

“I- um, I’m fine, it’s just-” Camila takes another breath, “neck kisses are a little bit _too_ much. For now. We’ve been on one date and I don’t want to- um, move too quickly, I guess?”

She expects Lauren to scoff at her confession, to tell her that she’s being childish and that neck kisses weren’t a big deal. She expects the other girl to brush her off and tell her that she needs to stop worrying so much.

Instead, Lauren just squeezes her hand and pushes a kiss to her cheek. “Okay. Thank you for telling me. I don’t ever want to make you uncomfortable, Camz.”

Camila throws her arms around Lauren and pulls her as close as she can. “Thanks for being so understanding. All of this is really new to me and I don’t want to move too fast. I need to ease into it.”

“I get that. Relationships are tricky, especially when it’s your first one.” Lauren sends her a reassuring smile and it’s almost enough to ease Camila’s nerves. “We can work through it together. Like I said, if you ever need to talk to me about anything, you can.”

“Um, I actually have a question.” Camila weaves her fingers through Lauren’s and looks anywhere but the other girl. “Was that- like, was that okay? Kissing me?”

“It was perfect, Camz.” Lauren assures her. “Absolutely perfect. Even though that wasn’t my first kiss by any means, it was definitely the one that mattered the most.”

“Good. Because I thought it was pretty damn _wow_.” Camila nervously leans over and kisses Lauren’s cheek, her face turning crimson when Lauren pulls her back and kisses her properly, the older girl’s smile obvious against her lips. “You’re like- honestly- that was worth the incredibly long wait. Seventh grade Camila just died and went to heaven, honestly.”

Lauren laughs. “So, the third date was a success, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Camila confirms. “Definitely. It took us two tries to get it right, but we finally got there.”

Lauren raises an eyebrow. “I think you’re just saying that because this time you got to kiss me.”

“I mean, that _does_ give this date a lot of bonus points,” Camila agrees, taking the initiative and wrapping her arms around Lauren’s waist, “but no. We got it right this time because neither of us went home upset and we’re both aware that it’s actually a date. And we know for sure that there’s going to be a fourth date.”

“Oh really?” Lauren smirks. “Who says I want to go on a fourth date, huh?”

It takes Camila a few seconds to realise that Lauren’s joking, and she rests her head on the older Latina’s shoulder with a smile. “You scared me for a second there.”

“That was the intention.” Lauren wraps an arm around her shoulder and starts tracing patterns along Camila’s bare arm with her forefinger. “I happen to like the idea of a fourth date. It’s my turn to plan it, though. I’ve got to redeem myself after the first two dates.”

“In your defence, the second date was fun. It was just the end of it that didn’t go well.” Camila points out. “And that was my fault.”

Lauren sends her a stern look. “It wasn’t your fault for having a panic attack, Camz.”

“It was, though.” Camila ignores the way Lauren is kind of glaring at her. “I started overthinking and made you feel like your feelings for me were invalid. You said it yourself.”

“I never said that.” Lauren shakes her head. “When did I say that?”

“When you were drunk.” Camila keeps talking before Lauren can interrupt. “Drunk actions are sober thoughts, Lo.”

“Well, I don’t remember that.” Lauren replies, tucking Camila’s hair behind her ear. She leans in and kisses her temple, lingering for longer this time. “But let’s just forget about that. Our third date is going ridiculously well and I can’t wait for the fourth.”

“Yeah. Me too. Are we going to set a date for that?” Camila asks. “Maybe some time around winter break? We can do something festive in the run-up to Christmas.”

Lauren smiles. “Sure. I’ll have to make sure I find somewhere with mistletoe, though. You know, in case I need an excuse to kiss you again.”

“You never need an excuse for that.” Camila grins, because really, Lauren’s kisses are her new favourite thing in the world, and she wants to experience as many of them as possible. “Kiss me as much as you want, whenever you want.”

Taking that as her cue, Lauren pushes her lips against Camila’s, her teeth grazing the younger girl’s lower lip. Lauren’s fingers trace down Camila’s spine, setting the nerves alight, and when Camila opens her eyes and meets a vibrant green, her stomach performs an incredibly uncoordinated somersault.

She pulls away and opens her mouth to speak, but Lauren shakes her head, her soft hands cupping Camila’s face and pulling her back in for more. “Hey, no, I’m not done yet.”

Camila laughs against Lauren’s mouth and nods, taking the older Latina’s bottom lip between hers again. Lauren is the one taking control, but Camila can tell that she’s trying her best to be gentle and push Camila to test the waters herself. So, with minor trepidation, she slowly deepens the kiss, taking the soft moan that reverberates at the back of Lauren’s throat as a good sign.

It’s Lauren who pulls away first, biting down on her bottom lip in an attempt to hide her smile. “You’re like, really good at that. Honestly, are you _sure_ you’ve never been kissed before?”

“Positive,” Camila laughs, “but thanks for the good review. Leave a rating out of five stars and you’ll have a chance to win another few kisses before I drop you off at home.”

Lauren laughs at her joke, but really, that’s not much of a surprise, because Lauren is the only one out of all of her friends who seems to find her remotely funny. Honestly, Camila is about ninety percent sure that Lauren is just biased towards her in general, and she’s not actually that funny after all.

“I kind of don’t want to go home.” Lauren admits, her fingers locking with Camila’s. “Can we just stay here forever?”

“As much as I’d love that, no,” Camila traces patterns over Lauren’s knuckles with her thumb. “I think my little sister would miss me too much.”

“I can see why you used to come up here.” Lauren looks out towards the view. “It’s really fucking beautiful.”

Camila slowly tunes out what Lauren is saying and takes a few moments to appreciate her side profile, how her hair perfectly frames her face and how the light hits her eyes and gives them a slight blue tinge. She takes in the two cartilage piercings on Lauren’s ear and notices that she’s changed out her nose ring for a small stud, and finally, her eyes land on something on the back of her friend’s neck.

“Wait, Lauren-” Camila interrupts whatever Lauren was saying and pushes her hair back. “You have a tattoo?”

“Oh, yeah,” Lauren flips her hair over and moves to show Camila, “It’s a dragonfly. I have one on my arm too, actually,” she pauses and holds out her right arm, showing her the other tattoo, “it’s the number twenty-seven in roman numerals. Did you not notice them before?”

“No, I didn’t.” Camila frowns. “When did you get them?”

“In summer. My mom flipped.” Lauren laughs at the memory. “I got the dragonfly first and then I went back and got the twenty-seven. The second one was how my mom found out, actually. She didn’t notice the dragonfly because my hair was always covering it. One day we had to go to some kind of dinner with my dad’s bosses and I wore a dress and she saw it. My dad didn’t really care though.”

Camila hums in thought. “Well, if your mom was okay with you getting your nose pierced, surely she’d be okay with-”

“Yeah, she wasn’t okay with that, either.” Lauren interrupts her with a sheepish smile. “But it’s my face, so I’ll shove metal into it if I want. Chris and Taylor were happy when I got the tattoos though. I guess it made them look like the good kids for once.”

“I find this really hard to believe.” Camila murmurs. “Not only am I on a date with you, I’m on a date with an incredibly hot girl with tattoos and piercings. Mom would be so proud.”

Lauren snorts. “Shut up, your mom loves me. She said – and I _quote_ – ‘she’s good for you, Karla’. So _there_.”

“I guess your Jauregui charm has an increased effect on all the Cabellos.” Camila jokes. “You’ve won my sister over too. When I told her I was going out with you tonight she told me that she was happy I wasn’t sad anymore. She’s way too wise for her age.”

“Well, speaking of your family, we should probably head off. My curfew is soon and I’m pretty sure yours is too.” Lauren stands up and reaches a hand out to help her up. “Come on.”

Camila grabs Lauren’s hand and stands up, and doesn’t let go like she usually would. Instead, she keeps her fingers locked with Lauren’s as they head towards the car, and doesn’t let go until the last possible second.

She lets Lauren use the aux cord to put on some music, and Camila rolls her eyes when she puts on Lana Del Rey. Typical Lauren.

When Lauren starts to sing along, Camila nearly faints, because Lauren’s voice is incredible and she can’t believe that she hasn’t asked her to sing before. She vaguely remembers one time in middle school when Lauren and her friend Lucy had performed, but her voice is a lot different than she remembers. The older Latina’s singing voice is raspy, like her talking voice, but there’s a sweet element to it that is ridiculously calming. It’s something Camila would like to fall asleep to.

“You’re a really amazing singer, Lo,” Camila tells her. “How did I forget you could sing?”

Lauren blinks in confusion, as if she hadn’t realised she was singing. “Oh. Uh… thanks? I didn’t know you knew I could, anyway.”

“I just- uh, I remember this time in middle school when you and Lucy performed something at the talent show.” Camila replies. “It was around the start of my crush on you and it made me like you even more.”

Lauren laughs. “Oh, yeah, I remember that. That’s actually up on my dad’s YouTube. He used to upload a bunch of stuff there whenever Chris, Taylor or I did something like that.”

Camila smirks. “Well, I know what I’ll be searching for when I get home.”

“You wouldn’t,” Lauren sends her a mock glare. “If you do look it up, I want to be there. At least let me get a laugh out of it too.”

Camila just laughs. “That can be date four. A whole night dedicated to making fun of you.”

“Hey, no, we already did that.” Lauren shakes her head. “We can’t just _repeat_ the same thing. That’d be boring.”

“That was _hardly_ making fun of you, Lo. In case you don’t remember, all of the pictures you showed me weren’t all that bad, and you conveniently couldn’t find any videos.” Camila reminds her. “So we wouldn’t be repeating plans after all.”

“Fine. But only if we can make fun of you, too.” Lauren pouts at her, and Camila puts that in the top five most adorable things she’s ever seen. “Because middle school Camila was dorky as hell and I’m taking advantage of that.”

Camila just rolls her eyes in response as she pulls up outside of Lauren’s house. “Well… goodnight, I guess.”

“I know it’s fucking cheesy to say this, but I had a really great time tonight.” Lauren reaches over and squeezes her hand. “Best third date ever. I’ll text you, okay?”

As Lauren moves to get out of the car, Camila grabs her by the wrist. “Lauren, wait. Aren’t you going to be a good date and give me a goodnight kiss?”

“ _That_ I can do.” Lauren leans over and pecks Camila on the lips. “For a second I thought you were going to ask me for some punch or something, and we both know how long that’d take.”

Camila laughs and pulls Lauren in for one last hug. “I’ll see you later, Lo.”

“Later, Camz.” With one last squeeze around her waist, Lauren pulls away and gets out of the car. Camila waits until she’s inside and the door has closed to let out the breath she didn’t know she was holding and start driving home.

She’d just been on a date with _Lauren Jauregui_. And she’d fucking _kissed_ her.

Normani had been right earlier; everything did go smoothly, and she was definitely going to spam Dinah about how perfect the date was and how soft Lauren’s lips were.

(Because they’re like, _really_ soft.)

When she gets home, she doesn’t bother her parents, and instead heads up to her room and pulls her phone out of the small clutch she’d taken with her. She unlocks it and goes to text Dinah, when she gets an Instagram notification and curiosity gets the better of her.

When the app loads and the post she’s tagged in shows up on her screen, Camila practically melts. It’s a picture of her and Lauren.

****_@laurenjauregui: This lil nugget and I went on the best date ever tonight and I can’t stop smiling because of her. Karla Camila Cabello, you are one of the most amazing people in the world and I’m so happy I have you in my life. Here’s to a million more dates and perfect kisses in your special place. LUH U CAMZIIII xxxxx @camila_cabello_ ** **

Camila can’t stop smiling when she reads Lauren’s caption over and over again, finding it incredibly hard to believe that it’s actually real. She knows for a fact that it is when another comment pops up underneath it.

****_@dinahjane97: #camrenfeels_ ** **

Camila has to hold back her laugh as she types out a response.

****_@camila_cabello: u r so amazing and i am so up for more dates and kisses xxx :)_ ** **

It isn’t long before Camila’s phone pings and she remembers the actual reason she’d picked up her phone. Switching to the messenger app, she sees that Dinah has had the same idea as her and texted her.

****_China Jane (10:38PM): So it went well???_ ** **

****_Walz (10:39PM): it was the most perfect night i’ve ever had omg_ ** **

****_Walz (10:39PM): she fucking kissed me dj!!!!! lauren jauregui kissed ME_ ** **

****_China Jane (10:40PM): Good cause everyone but you knew she wanted to lol_ ** **

Before Camila has a chance to reply to Dinah’s message, another one comes through.

****_Lolo (10:41PM): Sweet dreams, Camzi :)_ ** **

****_Camz (10:41PM): goodnight lo :)_ ** **


	11. Chapter 11

Camila isn’t sure if things are supposed to change now that they’ve been on a date, but she really hopes they do. She really hopes that she can kiss Lauren and it’s not weird. She hasn’t spoken to Lauren in person since before their date, and she’s praying that the development in their relationship doesn’t make it weird at school on Monday.

Naturally, when Monday morning comes around, Camila starts worrying about how she’s going to approach Lauren. Does she greet her with a kiss? Does she act like they’re still just friends? _Were_ they still just friends? Camila has no idea what to do.

She avoids the art room all together when she gets to school, knowing that her friends have probably all met up to talk before class. Usually she’d join them, but she decides to head to her locker and get all of the books she needs, and then she’ll probably go to homeroom early.

As she’s sorting through her locker, she feels a tap on her shoulder and turns around in confusion, her heart stopping when she sees Lauren. “Oh- um, hey, Lo.”

“Hey. You were late to art so I started to worry.” Lauren smiles at her. “Did you oversleep or something? Forget to set your alarm?”

“No, I just- um…” Camila pauses to try and think up a lie, “spent too much time on my makeup and got distracted. I was worried I’d be late for homeroom and didn’t think there’d be much point in going to art when I got here because by the time I’d sat down, I’d have to get back up again.”

“True.” Lauren accepts Camila’s explanation as the truth, and she can’t help but feel a little guilty. “But still, I wanted to see you before class. I don’t usually see you until lunch on a Monday.”

Camila smiles. “Well, you’ve seen me. Want to walk to homeroom with me? I know you’re not in my class, but-”

Lauren cuts her off with a laugh. “Sure, I’ll walk with you. Gives me more time to hang out with you and stuff.”

“Yeah.” Camila closes her locker and walks down the hallway with Lauren, unsure of what to say. She doesn’t know if she’s supposed to bring up their date, because right now they’re acting like it never happened, but she doesn’t want to make things awkward. “So, how was your weekend?”

“It was great. I hung out with Mani on Saturday and she slept over at my place. We had a girl’s night.” Lauren smiles at the memory. “Sunday was kind of boring though. _Friday_ , however, I went on this really fun date with this really cool girl. You probably don’t know her; your circle of cool friends is pretty limited. It literally just includes me.”

Camila laughs, partly because she’s relieved, and gives Lauren a playful shove. “Shut up. Fourth date will happen soon, yeah?”

“Definitely.” Lauren’s hand bumps against hers, and Camila is about ninety percent certain that it was accidental until Lauren’s fingers thread through her own and she gives her hand a gentle squeeze. “Like I said though, date four is on me, and I have a plan already. It’s kind of a daytime thing though.”

“You’re not keeping this a secret from me, Lo.” Camila pokes her with her free hand. “If I’m going on another date with you, I need to know the plan.”

“Alright, I was thinking something along the lines of a beach date?” Lauren proposes. “Kind of like that time we went to the beach with the girls, except without them and with a lot more ice cream and kisses. You in?”

Camila frowns. “Do I have to wear a bathing suit on this date?”

“Not if you don’t want to.” Lauren tells her as she comes to a stop in front of Camila’s homeroom. “I will be, though. Besides, it’s not like I haven’t seen you in a bikini before.”

“That’s true…” Camila hums in thought, “I’m up for a beach date and I’ll think about the bikini. Okay?”

“That’s good enough for me.” Lauren leans in and gives her a quick peck on the lips, taking Camila completely off guard. “I’m going to head to homeroom myself. I’ll see you at lunch?”

“Yeah,” Camila snaps out of the kiss’ aftershock and nods. “Lunchtime. Sit next to me in the art room? I kind of really want to hold hands with you.”

Lauren laughs. “Of course. Bye, baby.”

With that, Lauren turns on her heel and walks in the opposite direction, leaving Camila with a stupidly wide smile on her face.

-

Lauren keeps her promise at lunchtime and pulls out the chair next to Camila before Dinah can, sending the younger girl a rather possessive glare. “This is my seat.”

“Uh, since when?” Dinah doesn’t go to sit down in the space between Normani and Ally that Lauren usually sits in. “I always sit there.”

“It’s my seat since Camz asked me to sit with her at lunch.” Lauren folds her arms across her chest. “Don’t worry, you’ll get it back on occasion.”

Reaching over, Camila grabs one of Lauren’s hands and holds it on top of the table, proud of herself for initiating some form of affection. She really wants to initiate a kiss, but she’s terrified that she’ll pick the wrong moment and that Lauren will change her mind about the ‘millions more dates’ she’d posted about on Instagram.

“Y’all are too cute,” Ally smiles at them, before looking up to Dinah and patting the free seat. “Come on. It’s obvious that Lauren isn’t going to move.”

Huffing, Dinah sits down and pulls her lunch out of her backpack. “You two are lucky I ship Camren. Otherwise Lauser would be getting a Poly beat down right about now.”

Camila laughs. “I wouldn’t let you touch her, Cheechee. Sorry.”

Lauren mockingly sticks her tongue out at Dinah and then pulls Camila in for a hug. “See? My Camzi will protect me from anything.”

“Gross,” Normani mimics a gag and rolls her eyes. “Cool it with the sappiness. I don’t need you two to remind me how horrifically single I am.”

“It’s not our fault we’re cute.” Lauren replies, squeezing Camila’s hand. “Besides, I had to hold back _last_ week before our date. Now I have absolutely no reason to refrain from doing what I want.”

“Mila, please understand that if you two are constantly romancing it up, I might puke.” Normani addresses her this time. “And Lauren listens to you. Logically, you should tell her to at least be less disgustingly heart eyes.”

“Sorry, Mani,” Camila nervously pushes a kiss to Lauren’s cheek. “I happen to like it when she’s disgustingly heart eyes.”

“Let them live, Mani,” Dinah says, throwing an arm around the other girl. “While I agree that too much sappiness will make me want to puke too, they’ve been pining after each other for too long.”

“I don’t pine.” Lauren argues. “I flirt and eventually I always get what I want. If anything, Camz is the one who pines.”

Camila doesn’t even bother defending herself, because really, Lauren is right. “You pined a decent amount, I’ll have you know. Especially when you were drunk. Drunk Lauren is always fun.”

“You’ve seen me drunk _once_ ,” Lauren points out, “and I was _hardly_ pining then. I was drunkenly flirting. I even offered to kiss you. If that’s not game, I don’t know what is.”

Camila snorts. “Yeah, you casually offering to kiss me was _really_ flirtatious, Lo. Friends kiss friends all the time, especially when they’re drunk. You can’t blame me for brushing it off.”

“Yeah,” Lauren leans in and kisses Camila again, and it makes her feel just as electrified as she did the first time they kissed. “Because that’s _so_ friendly and platonic. Hey, Mani, come over here. Apparently it’s totally normal and platonic for us to make out, so let’s go.”

As Lauren makes mock kissy faces in Normani’s direction, which the older girl scoffs in feigned disgust at as she holds her off at arm’s length, Camila laughs. “Okay, you’ve made your point. Maybe I was _kind of_ oblivious to your flirting.”

Lauren smiles triumphantly and throws an arm around Camila’s shoulder. “Damn right I made my point. Anyway, when are you free next? We need to set a day for date four.”

“Date _four_?” Ally frowns. “Y’all have been on one date. Two if you count that other ‘not really a date’ thing you went on.”

“Um…” Camila looks over to Lauren and finds the older girl’s expression hard to read. “Yeah. You’re right, I guess-”

“Nope. It’s date four.” Lauren cuts her off. “I can’t believe I’m going to tell you guys this, but Camila and I knew each other in middle school. And we, uh, kind of went on a date then? It wasn’t really a date, we’ve kind of… turned it into a little inside joke. Yeah.”

Normani frowns. “I thought you said you didn’t remember her?”

“I didn’t, at first. Even though she looked kind of familiar, she was using a different name, so…” Lauren trails off with a shrug. “She remembered me, though. She just didn’t tell me.”

Camila bites down on her bottom lip. “I didn’t want to jeopardise a potential friendship.”

“Why would you jeopardise a friendship if she knew who you are?” Ally frowns at her. “Surely if you guys went on a date, then-”

“I know why.” Dinah looks at Lauren, who looks exactly like a deer caught in headlights. “Walz might have mentioned a few things that night we went to your old friends’ party.”

Lauren turns on Camila with wide eyes. “You told her?”

“She was going to force me to go to the party if I didn’t explain why.” Camila is quick to defend herself, although she’s entirely too worried that Lauren will be mad at her. “I mean, I ended up there anyway because you drunk called me, but I had to explain and she kept asking questions.”

Lauren lets out a heavy sigh and turns to Dinah. “How much did she tell you?”

“How much of _what_?” Normani interrupts before Dinah can speak. “What are you guys even talking about?”

“When we were in middle school, Lauren’s friends weren’t exactly nice to me.” Camila slowly explains, looking to Lauren in case the older Latina wants to do the talking. “Um- I, uh, had a pretty big crush on Lauren at the time and her friends found my journal. They convinced her to ask me out and take me to the school dance that year. She did, and while we were there, her and her friends outed me. I’m- um, I’m over it now, though.”

“Lauren Michelle, she’d better be joking.” Ally sends Lauren a stare that’s the complete opposite of her usual sunshine smiles. “You did _not_ do something like that. I can’t believe it.”

Lauren just stays silent as Normani and Ally rant about how bad Camila’s confession was. Dinah’s the one to interrupt them. “Guys, no- I think she gets it. Mila told me they’d talked it over and put it behind them, right?”

“Yeah.” Camila nods. “I wasn’t even mad at her, anyway. I hated her friends, not her. They put her up to it. Everyone is easily influenced in middle school.”

“Still not an excuse and I still feel really bad about it.” Lauren squeezes Camila’s hand. “But like Dinah said, we’ve put it behind us, and I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t bring it up again. I think both of us want to forget that night.”

“Still, what the hell, Laur,” Normani shakes her head, “it’s a bit of a shock to find out that my best friend has had this huge thing she’s been keeping from me. Any other secrets in the past life of Laurenza that I should know?”

“Nope.” Lauren shakes her head. “Not that I can think of. Camz, can you think of anything else?”

Camila hums in thought and shakes her head. “Not other than the fact that you were still way too pretty to be real back then.”

Dinah scoffs. “That was way too cheesy, Walz. Or should I say _Karla_.”

Immediately, Camila turns and glares at Lauren. “They all know that now, thanks to your Instagram post about us. Damn you, Jauregui.”

Lauren shrugs. “Fine, I’ll take the post down if you-”

“No!” Camila is quick to protest. “It’s a cute post. You didn’t have to use my full name in it, though.”

“Like I said, Alexa follows me and I wanted to rub it in her face.” Lauren replies with a sheepish smile. “Kind of immature of me, but still. I wanted to show her how happy you are and how if it wasn’t for her, we probably wouldn’t be dating right now.”

Camila frowns. “How is it because of her?”

“If she’d never made me take you to that dance, I probably would’ve kept brushing off everything she did to you and trying my best to ignore it. What we did to you that night made me so angry and I finally stood up to her and left that school.” Lauren shrugs. “And here we are now. You’re my- um, we’re dating and she’s nothing to me.”

Camila’s heart stops, because had Lauren nearly called her her _girlfriend_? “I guess that’s true. Yeah. But- um, back to the last topic; when’s date four?”

Lauren smiles. “Whenever you want it to be, baby.”

“Not this weekend, though,” Ally interrupts them, “we’re going for a swimming day and you two are coming with us. No arguments.”

As if sensing Camila’s discomfort, Lauren grabs her hand and squeezes it. “We’ll be there.”

For some reason, the small smile Lauren sends her does absolutely nothing to comfort her.


	12. Chapter 12

Swimming is something Lauren has always liked – that’s why she’s infinitely glad she has a pool in her back yard – and when Ally proposed a swimming day at school, she’d immediately told her siblings that their pool is off limits for Saturday.

One thing Lauren likes more than swimming, however, is seeing Karla Camila Cabello in a bikini.

She can tell Camila is nervous as she pulls off her shirt to reveal her bikini top, but that slips her mind for a moment, because she’s too busy checking her out. Of course, when Normani nudges her with a smirk and she notices that Camila is still sat on a lounge chair looking awkward, she walks over and sends her a small smile.

“Hey, Camz. Scoot over,” Lauren nudges her and sits down on the lounge chair next to her, momentarily worried that it might break under the added weight. “Aren’t you getting in the pool?”

Camila bites down on her lip and shrugs. “I don’t know. Maybe. I’m just getting used to being in a bikini in a sort of public area.”

“It’s not a public area,” Lauren rolls her eyes. “It’s my back yard and the only people who could possibly see you in a bikini are our friends, my parents or my siblings. Possibly my siblings’ friends if they come over, but they won’t even come out here because I already banned Chris and Taylor from the pool. Mostly Chris, because I know Taylor won’t annoy me.”

“Still, I don’t really like the idea of being in a bikini. I feel like I should’ve worn my one piece.” Camila says, and Lauren can see her looking around their friends, and _yeah_ , she can understand why Camila feels insecure because their friends are like literal models. But then so is Camila, in Lauren’s opinion. “I think I’ll just sit out for a while. Maybe read a book or something. Can I go up to your room and borrow one?”

“Nope,” Lauren shakes her head and pokes her in the side. “Come in the pool with me. Please?”

Camila bites down on her lip again – Lauren’s noticed that’s one of her little nervous tells – and shakes her head. “I know it sounds bad, but I can’t go in there next to you, Dinah, Mani and Ally. You four look like literal Greek goddesses and I’m just… awkward.”

Lauren’s stomach flips at Camila’s compliment. “You’re not awkward. You’re beautiful. Now get your not so tiny ass in the water.”

“That’s not going to work.” Camila says, looking anywhere but Lauren. “I haven’t been in a swimming pool since seventh grade and I intend to keep it that way. I’m not a strong swimmer, anyway.”

“I’ll throw you in if you don’t get in willingly.” Lauren threatens. It’s an empty threat and Camila probably knows it, but whatever. “Either way you’re getting in there.”

“Do you have a one piece that I can borrow?” Camila asks, and Lauren almost snorts, because Camila is the tiniest person she’s ever seen and there’s no way in hell she’d fit into the only one piece Lauren owns. “I’m kind of changing my mind about the bikini.”

“I have a one piece, but you can’t borrow it. For three reasons.” Lauren says. “One being that you look hot as fuck in a bikini and I’m rather enjoying the view. Two - it wouldn’t fit you. And three – it looks like something your great grandma would wear to the waterpark.”

Camila snorts. “Why’d you buy it then?”

“I didn’t. My mom did when we were on vacation and my old swimsuit got… uh, damaged.” Lauren says, keeping that story short. That’s totally not something she wants to relive. “We were going to a waterpark the next day, so… yeah.”

Camila nods and looks towards the house. “Are you sure I can’t borrow a book from you and just sit and read?”

“Positive. Come and have fun with me, Camzi.” Lauren pouts and tugs on Camila’s arm. “Let’s go in the pool. Five minutes.”

“I already told you that I don’t want to. I’d feel… inadequate. Especially next to you, who looks like… _that_.” Camila gestures over Lauren’s body, and the older Latina frowns, because she doesn’t particularly like her body. At all. She’s just good at pretending. “I know you’re probably sick of hearing about my problems and-”

“Not at all,” Lauren interrupts her and kisses her cheek, “I’m your… friend. And you can talk to me about anything.”

“Okay, well,” Camila sucks in a deep breath, “this is kind of off topic, but there’s this girl. And I have a problem with her. Basically, she thinks she’s super badass but she’s actually a puppy. Her name is Lauren Jauregui, you might’ve heard of her.”

“Shut up,” Lauren gives Camila a playful shove. “I was being serious. You totally killed the vibe of that conversation.”

Camila winks at her. “That was the plan.”

Lauren nearly goes into cardiac arrest, because Karla Camila Cabello just fucking _winked_ at her. “Look, whatever, just please come in the pool with me? I want to have a water fight with my Camzi.”

Camila blushes. “I love it when you call me that. It’s cute.”

“You’re cute, so it’s fitting,” Lauren replies, squeezing Camila’s hand. “I’ll pay you a dollar if you come in the pool.”

“Wow, a huge sum of _one_ dollar.” Camila laughs and nods towards the pool. “Go have fun, Lo. You don’t need to stay here with me.”

“I’m not going in unless you go in.” Lauren wagers, hoping that maybe Camila will cave. She uses her puppy dog eyes for good measure. “Please? I already told you, you have nothing to worry about. Your body is like, hot as fuck. If we’re being blunt.”

Camila turns bright red. “I- I’ll come in for a little while. But I’m not a strong swimmer so I think you’ll have to hold my hand.”

“That’s quite convenient, considering I love holding your hand.” Lauren smiles and grabs Camila’s hand, pulling her towards the pool. “I also love making out with you, so I propose that when the girls leave, we put on a movie and ignore it completely.”

“Uh, yeah,” Camila replies, “I’m down for a make out session. You’re like, a really good kisser, Lo. It’s kind of intimidating.”

“Well, you should know, you’re intimi _dating_ me.” Lauren jokes, laughing when Camila gives her a light slap on the arm. “What? I basically just used your sense of humour.”

“Exactly, that should’ve been my line.” Camila says as she follows Lauren into the pool. “I’m the one who makes the puns.”

Lauren rolls her eyes. “I can make puns too. I’m good at English. I think you’re forgetting that I have a 4.6 GPA.”

“Damn,” Camila replies, “I didn’t know that. Looks like you’re pretty _and_ smart.”

Lauren laughs. “I think I pride myself more on the intelligence.”

“Really?” Camila hums in thought and sends Lauren a teasing smile. “I’m here for the strong eyebrow game, honestly.”

“You like my eyebrows?” Lauren smiles to herself, because Camila is good at the subtle compliments. “Thanks, Camz.”

Camila splashes her with pool water. “No problem, Lern Jergi.”

“Lern Jergi?” Lauren raises her eyebrows at the nickname. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It’s supposed to mean Lauren Jauregui,” Camila replies with the obvious, “but my version. Lern Jergi. The one who doesn’t know Alexa and her little minions.”

“Hey,” Lauren splashes Camila, “don’t call middle school me a minion. I’m sure she’d be very offended.”

Camila snorts. “Middle school you was a bitch. Fuck her.”

“Yeah, Karla would’ve liked to do that.” Lauren retorts, smirking when Camila turns bright red.

Once Camila gets over her initial shock, she narrows her eyes. “I’m going to _kill you_ , Lauren Michelle.”

“Yeah, but you’ve got to catch me first, don’t you?” Lauren replies. With one final splash in Camila’s direction, she swims away, trying her best to splash behind her as much as she can.

It doesn’t take long for Camila to catch her, but Lauren tells herself that’s because she’s going easy on her. Obviously.

Camila virtually dives on her and grabs her around the wrist, before her arms settle on Lauren’s waist. Lauren can tell she’s nervous and tries to send her a comforting smile, but she’s far more distracted by the way Camila is biting down on her bottom lip and looking anywhere but Lauren.

“You caught me,” Lauren breaks the silence, resting her hands on Camila’s shoulders. “Are you going to kill me now?”

“I- uh,” Camila finally meets Lauren’s gaze, her cheeks flushed pink. “Can I kiss you?”

Lauren grins. “I don’t know, _can you_?”

“You’re such a jerk.” Camila lets out a soft laugh and leans in, giving Lauren a quick kiss. “I’m so glad that I can do that now. Seventh grade me would literally die of shock if she knew I would have permission to essentially kiss you whenever I want.”

“Seventh grade me would literally die of shock at the confirmation that I’m not straight,” Lauren adds, laughing at the mental image. “She was in a lot of denial, oh my god. It’s funny now that I think about it, but I mean… I stared at all of the girls’ butts in softball practice. Still sometimes do.”

Camila snorts with laughter. “I don’t blame you. Your ass in softball pants? Yes please.”

Lauren brushes that comment off, because she doesn’t like the idea of attention being drawn to her body. “Yeah, but _your_ ass looks good in any pants. So you win.”

“I- you look at that?” Camila blinks in surprise and turns red. “I didn’t realise you, uh, checked me out.”

“I check you out a lot,” Lauren admits, “you’re nice to look at and I like you. Naturally I’m going to check you out.”

“You’re sweet.” Camila beams and kisses Lauren’s cheek. “I’ll race you to the other end of the pool?”

Before Lauren can reply, Camila has already kissed her again and turned to swim in the other direction, apparently putting in a lot of effort to splash their friends as much as she can on the way.

-

Once they get tired of swimming, Ally suggests that they retire to Lauren’s room and watch a movie. And of course, Camila being as forgetful as she is, hasn’t remembered to bring a spare change of clothes. Naturally, when Lauren lends her some and she goes into the bathroom to get changed, Dinah turns around to Lauren with a frown.

“You asked her to be your girlfriend yet, Jauregui?”

Lauren blinks in surprise, because she hadn’t been expecting that at all. “What? No. Why should- why do you even care, _Hansen_?”

“Because,” Dinah pauses to sit down on Lauren’s bed, not caring about the fact her hair is dripping straight onto her friend’s duvet. “She really likes you and she wants you to be her girlfriend. She’s just scared to ask because she thinks you’ll say no, for whatever reason.”

Normani snorts. “ _Lauren_ saying no? That wouldn’t happen. Didn’t you see them in the pool? Neither of them would say no.”

After getting over her initial shock, Lauren rolls her eyes. “Look, whatever. Camz said she wanted to go slow and I think asking her that doesn’t exactly fit into the ‘going slow’ category. She’ll ask me when she feels the time is right.”

“So, never?” Dinah raises an eyebrow. “She wouldn’t ask you, she’s too scared. You have to be the one to do it. That’s why I’m telling you this.”

“Fine,” Lauren folds her arms across her chest. “I’ll ask her. Not now, though. That’s more of a fifth date question.”

Ally laughs and gestures between Dinah and Normani. “Are you two going to stop meddling now?”

Dinah shakes her head. “ _Never_. Gotta make sure the Camren ship sails.”

“It’s already sailing,” Lauren sits back on her bed and pulls her hair from the bun it’s in, thankful that it was kept dry. “No need to interfere. We’re doing fine on our own.”

Normani scoffs. “Yeah, okay, who told you that you should ask Camila out when she was in the hospital? _Me_. And who told you to go and talk to her in the library that week you weren’t speaking? _Also me_. And who-”

“Okay, okay, I get it,” Lauren cuts her off with an eye roll. “I already know I suck at relationships. No need to remind me.”

“True,” Dinah agrees, “I mean, you asked her out but you didn’t even tell her it was a date. Who does that?”

“Shut up,” Lauren groans when even Ally joins in with the laughter. “I’d never asked a girl out before, okay? Girls are hard. Guys are easily manipulated, but girls? Nope.”

Ally raises an eyebrow. “What happened to the girl who flirted with that waitress to get a glass of wine, huh?”

“That’s completely different.” Lauren defends herself. “That’s like- that was _flirting_ , not asking her out.”

Naturally, Camila chooses that exact moment to walk back into the room wearing one of Lauren’s sweaters and a pair of sweatpants. “Asking who out?”

Normani laughs. “We were just talking about the time we went out for food together and we went to this restaurant. We got like halfway through the meal and then Lauren decides she wants wine and she flirts with our waitress until she gets it.”

“Oh,” Camila seems to deflate as she sits down on the bed, “when was that?”

“Like… about a year ago?” Dinah looks over to Lauren for confirmation. “It was when you were still dating-”

At Lauren’s stern look, Dinah cuts herself off. Camila frowns, but she doesn’t question it. “So… you got wine illegally from flirting? Did you kiss her?”

“Oh, yeah, I totally just stood up in the middle of a restaurant and made out with the waitress.” Lauren sarcastically replies. “No, I didn’t. I just said some subtly flirty things until I got a glass of wine. And her number.”

“Did you call?” Camila asks, and Lauren can practically _feel_ her insecurity. “I know it doesn’t matter now, you’re with me – well, you’re not _with_ me, but-”

“No, Camz,” Lauren interrupts, “I didn’t call. And you’re right, it doesn’t matter now. I’m dating you. You’re the one sat here in one of my sweaters, not some random waitress whose name I don’t even remember.”

Camila smiles to herself and kisses Lauren’s cheek. “Yeah. You’re right. I’m being dumb. You like me.”

“Exactly,” Lauren takes hold of Camila’s hand and then turns to Dinah, Ally and Normani. “What movie are we watching?”

“Well, not a horror,” Dinah replies, “because you two don’t need an excuse to cuddle anymore and we don’t want to give Walz nightmares.”

“I don’t-” Camila cuts herself off with an indignant scoff. “They don’t give me _nightmares_. I just… don’t like them much.”

“Okay, let’s pretend that’s true,” Normani turns back to the Netflix home screen and goes down to a comedy. “We’ll put something funny on. That way we’ll have something to distract ourselves with when you two start making out.”

Camila turns bright red, but Lauren just rolls her eyes. “Shut up, we’re cute.”

Lauren doesn’t miss the smile on their friends’ faces when Camila cuddles up to her to watch the movie.

“Hey, Lo,” Camila whispers to her once she’s certain their friends are occupied by the movie; apparently she’s not in the mood to be teased any more than they already had been. “When are we planning date four for?”

“Next weekend?” Lauren offers with a shrug. “I don’t know, whenever you’re free. All we’re doing is going to the beach, nothing big.”

“Next weekend is fine then,” Camila smiles. “I’ll bring money for ice cream and stuff.”

“No you won’t,” Lauren is quick to argue, “I’m paying. It’s my turn.”

“Can’t we just split it?” Camila asks, sending Lauren her version of the puppy dog eyes. And Lauren has to admit that it works. “It makes more sense than us both arguing over who gets to be chivalrous and pay.”

“Fine,” Lauren caves, “but I’m still driving.”

“Of course you are,” Camila rolls her eyes like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You’re the one who actually owns a car. I have to rely on my mom’s.”

Lauren smiles to herself. “If I win the lottery when I’m older I’ll buy you a car. Nothing too flashy though, because then everyone will ask me for a car.”

“Okay, deal,” Camila replies, “and if I win the lottery, I’ll buy you… Coachella tickets. I know you want to go at some point, so if I ever find myself with the right amount of money for us to get there and back and pay for our tickets, then… that’ll be date whatever number we’re on then.”

Lauren beams, because nobody has ever even _suggested_ anything that sweet before. And that means a lot. “What the hell did I do to deserve you, Camz?”

Camila blushes and kisses Lauren’s cheek, looking anywhere other than the green eyed girl’s gaze. “I- uh… I don’t know. You’re just- you’re amazing. And I want to make you happy.”

All Lauren manages in response is a smile and a sigh of content.


	13. Chapter 13

****Trigger warning for body dysmorphia.** **

****-** **

“I really love the beach.” Lauren tells her as she collapses onto the towel she’s laid out. She pats the spot next to her. “Come and cuddle me. Maybe I’ll love the beach even more after that.”

Not able to deny her anything, Camila lays down next to Lauren and rests her head on the other girl’s chest. “Cuddling you always makes me happy.”

Lauren laughs. “What can I say? I’m a pro cuddler. Nala has given me a lot of practice.”

Camila frowns in confusion. Nala? Who the hell was that? “Um… who’s Nala? Is she- um, is she like, an ex or something?”

Lauren is silent for a moment as the words hit her, and then she bursts out laughing. She’s laughing so hard that most of the people walking past them are sending her funny looks. “Oh my god, Camz, no- I can’t believe you fucking thought- oh my _god_.”

“What?” Camila asks her, genuinely confused and kind of worried about the older Latina, because it’s really not normal to laugh as much as she is without an obvious reason. “I don’t get what’s so funny.”

“Camz, Nala isn’t a _person_ ,” Lauren manages to get out between giggles. “She’s my teddy. My stuffed lion. As in, Nala from the Lion King.”

“ _Oh_.” Camila’s eyes widen and she lets out an awkward laugh. “Right. Sorry for being momentarily jealous of your stuffed animal, then.”

Lauren keeps laughing. “Your _face_ , oh my god, Camz-”

“Okay, that’s enough,” Camila gives Lauren a playful shove and rolls her eyes. “It’s not like you look like the type to still have a stuffed animal, okay?”

Lauren raises her eyebrows. “Since when do only certain types of people have stuffed animals and why am I not in that category?”

“Well, I don’t know, you just have this sort of _vibe_.” Camila tries to explain. “It’s like, you have this intimidating aura. Plus, the piercings and tattoos only add to that. Even back in middle school you just seemed so… _adult_. I don’t know.”

Lauren snorts. “Hardly. I’d never give up Nala. She’s my cuddle buddy.”

Camila just smiles. “You’re such a puppy, Lo. How was I ever intimidated by you?”

“Because of my _aura_.” Lauren quotes her and leans in to kiss Camila’s temple. “Clearly you’re really great at reading those.”

“Obviously.” Camila smiles and weaves her fingers through Lauren’s, deciding that it’s time for her to voice her thoughts. She'd spoken to Dinah a few times about what she's planning on saying, and she’s pretty sure that it’s a fourth date confession, but she still doesn’t know for sure, because she’s never done this kind of thing before. But whatever. She’s going for it. “Lauren? Can I ask you something?”

“You can ask me anything.” Lauren’s thumb starts tracing patterns over Camila’s knuckles. “What’s up, Camz?”

“Well, um- what exactly are we?” Camila asks. “That sounds kind of dumb, but we haven’t really addressed what you’d call our relationship. Obviously we’re not friends, because friends don’t go out on dates and have really awesome make out sessions, but I don’t know if we’re… if you’re my... if we’re anything other than that. If you get me.”

Lauren blinks, taking all of the information in. “Are you asking me if I’m your girlfriend?”

“That’s, um…” Camila bites down on her lip and nods, preparing herself for the disappointment. She gets ready for Lauren to laugh in her face, for the other girl to roll her eyes and tell her that they’d just been messing around this whole time, that all she wants is a friends with benefits kind of thing.

Instead, Lauren just shrugs nonchalantly. “Well, I don’t know. That’s kind of something we both have to decide. I mean… if you asked me…”

“Well, uh,” Camila sucks in a deep breath and lets her words all come out in one big jumble. “Will you be my girlfriend?”

Again, she prepares herself for a harsh laugh and an _of course not_ , maybe a few comments similar to the ones at the seventh grade dance thrown in there for good measure, because Camila finds it incredibly hard to believe that Lauren would actually say _yes_ and commit to her like that. The dates, she can understand, because they weren’t something serious. But asking Lauren to be her girlfriend is something else entirely.

She hears Lauren’s laugh and her stomach drops. “ _Duh_.”

“I- I’m sorry?” Camila blinks in confusion at Lauren’s answer. “You- um… _duh_?”

“Camz, _obviously_ I want to be your girlfriend.” Lauren rolls her eyes. “Honestly, I was kind of planning on asking you. Wasn’t going to do it until after the fifth date, though. I didn’t want to like, move too quickly or anything in case it freaked you out. Thanks for beating me to it.”

“You’re my girlfriend.” Camila repeats in surprise. She has a girlfriend. A super attractive girlfriend who looks really intimidating but in reality is the sweetest person she’s ever met. “Lauren, you’re my girlfriend.”

“Yeah, we established that.” Lauren teases her, kissing Camila on the corner of her mouth. “I think this requires an Instagram post.”

Camila rolls her eyes, because apparently Lauren feels the need to document every important milestone in their relationship with an Instagram post, and she finds it ridiculously endearing. Not that she’d ever admit that.

“Well, while you go and gush about me on social media, I’ll get us ice cream.” Camila pecks Lauren on the cheek before she gets up. “Cookie dough, right?”

“Yup,” Lauren nods, popping the ‘p’, “See you in a few.”

Camila heads towards the ice cream shop with a bounce in her step, and her voice is light and cheery when she orders their ice cream, giving the boy serving her a rather large tip, because apparently she’s very generous when she’s in a good mood.

When she makes her way back onto the sand and sits down next to Lauren, the older Latina takes her ice cream in one hand and keeps typing at her phone with the other.

“What are you doing?” Camila leans over to look at her girlfriend’s phone, but Lauren angles it out of her view. “Hey, let me see!”

“No!” Lauren replies, trying her best to eat her ice cream while typing. “I’m writing a cute post and you’re not allowed to look at it until it’s public. Now stop bugging me.”

“I went to get ice cream ten minutes ago.” Camila laughs. “I figured you’d have sorted it out by now.”

“No, it’s got to be perfectly sappy.” Lauren shoots back. “I can’t just be like ‘hey, check out my girlfriend’. I have to be romantic.”

Camila’s stomach flips when she hears the ‘g’ word and she has to bite down on her bottom lip to stop herself from smiling. “Well, let me know when you’re-”

“Done,” Lauren finishes her sentence for her. “You should check Instagram. Just a hint.”

Camila rolls her eyes and finishes off her ice cream as quickly as she can, before she pulls her phone out of her pocket and unlocks it, opening Instagram. Lauren’s post is the first one on her feed.

****_@laurenjauregui: Meet my beautiful girlfriend, @camila_cabello. This is kind of an old picture (taken two months ago at school) but she’s being a dork in it and I feel like that really gets her amazing personality across. She’s cute as hell and I’m really glad that I can finally call her mine after all of this time. Apologies in advance of the amount of gross couple pics I’m probably going to post on here. But also no apologies, because we’re cute and you should appreciate it. #camren_ ** **

Camila raises an eyebrow. “Camren? You’re making that a thing?”

“Dinah would be so proud.” Lauren replies. Looking down at Camila’s phone, she frowns. “Like the picture, then. I put effort into that.”

“So much effort that your ice cream is melting all over your shirt.” Camila points out, laughing when Lauren pouts down at the vanilla ice cream on her t-shirt. “Moron.”

“Idiot.” Lauren shoots back as she tries her best to get the ice cream off her shirt.

“I’m not the one with huge ice cream stains on my t-shirt, am I?” Camila shoots back, poking Lauren in the arm. “I’ve liked your post though. It _is_ really cute. I should make one too.”

“Good, because you never post on Instagram.” Lauren replies, giving up on cleaning her shirt and taking it off all together, revealing the top half of her bikini. “It’s annoying. You have like, three pictures, and two of them are of food.”

Camila smirks. “You’ve stalked my Instagram.”

“I have. No shame over here.” Lauren folds her arms across her chest. “I always stalk my crushes on social media. Usually they have more than three pictures, though.”

“Actually,” Camila goes to her Instagram and holds her phone up to Lauren. “I have _seven_ pictures. And two of them are selfies.”

“Well, make it eight pictures, please.” Lauren says. “And give it a heartfelt caption. Try and emulate what you wrote for that picture of the pizza you had last year for Valentine’s Day.”

Camila rolls her eyes as she searches through her camera roll for a picture of her and Lauren. “That just makes you sound like a stalker.”

“I still have no shame.” Lauren tells her, finishing the remnants of her ice cream. “Are you writing a post or not?”

“I’m looking for a good picture.” Camila replies. “Can I just steal one of your selfies from your profile and repost it?”

“Nope.” Lauren shakes her head. “You’ve got to be in it too, Camzi. That’s the rules.”

“Okay, I’ve found one.” Camila chooses a picture from their official third date and starts writing a caption, a little worried that it won’t be good enough and that she’d upset Lauren if she didn’t do it well enough.

(Especially if she didn’t top the post she made for the pizza. That’d be traumatic.)

Eventually she decides to just write from the heart, and if Lauren didn’t like it, she can always wait until she gets home to cry about it.

“It’s done.” Camila finally says. “Check Instagram. I can edit it if you don’t like it-”

Lauren just rolls her eyes. “No editing. It’s strictly prohibited.”

****_@camila_cabello: so im usually rly good with words but then when it comes to describing this incredible girl right here i can’t find any words that even come close to explaining how wonderful she is. im struggling to caption this picture bc there’s no language in the world that’s beautiful enough to describe her, so i guess i’ll just go with the basics. this is @laurenjauregui. i’ve known her since sixth grade. she has the most gorgeous emerald eyes i’ve ever seen. she’s an artist. she also happens to be my girlfriend. there’s nobody else i’d rather be with and while it took us a long time to get to where we are now, i’ve never been happier. so thank u lolo, for being so constantly wonderful. <3 :) xxx #camren_ ** **

When Camila looks back at the post, she notices another comment underneath her caption.

****_@laurenjauregui: That definitely tops the pizza post._ ** **

Camila is only a tiny bit taken off guard when Lauren pulls her in for a hug and buries her face into her neck. “You really _are_ damn good with words.”

Camila just laughs softly. “Thanks, Lo.”

“I’m the one who should be thanking you.” Lauren replies, kissing her cheek. “You make me ridiculously happy, Karla Camila Cabello Estrabao. Never forget that.”

“You make me happy too, Lauren Michelle Jauregui Morgado.” Camila rests her head on Lauren’s shoulder and lets out a soft sigh in content. “Want to go in the ocean for a little while?”

“Yeah.” Lauren seems a little surprised that Camila is even asking, and she looks doubly as shocked when Camila slowly pulls off the t-shirt and shorts she’s wearing and nods towards the sea. Lauren follows her lead and pulls her shorts off, following Camila towards the water. “I thought you weren’t a fan of the ocean?”

“I’m not, but I’m a fan of you in a bikini.” Camila replies, tugging Lauren into the ocean by her wrist. “I’m willing to spend a little while in the water if it means I get to not so subtly stare at my girlfriend’s abs.”

“Why?” Lauren snorts and gestures down to her stomach. “I hardly have a six pack, Camz.”

Camila rolls her eyes, because that’s what she likes about Lauren. While her stomach isn’t entirely flat, it’s still nicely toned, and Camila adores her curves. “I didn’t say you did. I just said I wanted to stare at your abs, because they’re nice. You don’t need to have a hardcore six pack or a super flat stomach for me to think they’re nice.”

Lauren blinks at her for a second and then hums. “Okay. Whatever floats your boat.”

“You don’t look like you believe me and that’s kind of scary.” Camila frowns, because Lauren’s supposed to be the confident one. Lauren never seems to care what anyone else thinks, but she seems like she’s second-guessing Camila’s words. “Since when do you care about that kind of thing?”

“I’ve always cared about that stuff. I just keep it to myself.” Lauren murmurs. Before Camila can say the things on her mind, Lauren keeps going. “It’s not like it’s a really big deal. Like, I’m generally okay with things when I look in the mirror. The things I can’t change, like my eyes or my jawline or whatever. It’s just the things I _can_ change that I hate. And that’s okay, because I’m working on changing them.”

“No,” Camila shakes her head, “don’t change yourself. You’re perfect, why the hell would you ever need to change? What do you even need to change? You don’t have any damn flaws, Jauregui.”

“Look, can we not talk about this?” Lauren asks her. “It’s not something I want to think about right now.”

“I’m not dropping this until you tell me what you think you need to change about yourself.” Camila folds her arms across her chest. “Because I-”

“Camila, just fucking drop it.” Lauren snaps, sending Camila a glare reminiscent of the one she wore after outing her back in seventh grade. “I don’t want to talk about it and you shouldn’t push me to tell you.”

“I-” Camila feels her throat close over and she blinks back the tears in her eyes, nodding quickly, because she knows she’s ruined everything. She only just got Lauren to be her girlfriend, and she’d just gone ahead and ruined it. “I have to go.”

She doesn’t hear whatever Lauren says in response, because she’s already sped off, not bothering to pick up her t-shirt and shorts from where she’d left them, because the only thing on her mind is how much she needs to get away. She needs to find a quiet space where she can cool off and not think about Lauren, and how she’s ruined things already.

She doesn’t get to do that, because someone grabs her by the wrist and pulls her back. “Camz.”

“No,” Camila tries to pull away, not even bothering to hide her tears. “I ruined it. I fucking _ruined_ it, Lauren.”

Lauren just holds her tighter and calmly runs her fingers through Camila’s hair as the younger girl cries into her shoulder. “What did you ruin, baby?”

“Us,” Camila mumbles into Lauren’s neck, “I ruined it, Lo. I pushed you and now you probably don’t want to be my girlfriend and-”

“Hey- no, Camz, don’t think like that,” Lauren cups Camila’s face with her hands and kisses her on the forehead. “You didn’t ruin anything. You could never.”

“I upset you.” Camila stares into Lauren’s bright green eyes and sniffles. “You’ve hardly been my girlfriend for half an hour and I’ve already upset you.”

“It’s not your fault.” Lauren tells her, but it doesn’t really matter, because Camila knows it is. “I’m not upset.”

“You were.” Camila argues. “You were mad and you snapped at me so _obviously_ you’re upset, Lauren. I fucking ruined it.”

“You didn’t,” Lauren immediately responds, pushing Camila’s hair back behind her ear. “It’s my fault. You were just concerned and I snapped at you because- um, I kind of have a bit of a short temper. Like, usually I can keep it under control but sometimes I get mad and say things without thinking. I’m sorry for snapping at you and making you think like you’d done something wrong. Okay?”

“Uh… I- okay,” Camila reaches a hand up to wipe her eyes, “okay. The- um, the temper thing is kind of a shock to me though. You’re usually so patient.”

“Well, you’ve never pissed me off before.” Lauren sends her a teasing smile and kisses her cheek. “Come on, Camz. Stop crying. It’s okay.”

“I was just so _worried_ , Lo. I thought that I’d messed everything up.” Camila bites down on her lip and lets out a shaky breath. “I won’t- um, I won’t ask you stuff like that again. You don’t want to tell me and I shouldn’t push you.”

“I’ll tell you,” Lauren replies, looking around them, “just not here. Somewhere else.”

“Do you- um, want to go back to your house?” Camila asks. “You can tell me there.”

“Yeah,” Lauren nods and runs a hand through her hair, something Camila has picked up on as one of her nervous ticks. “Yeah. Let’s go.”

With one final wipe at her eyes, Camila follows Lauren back towards their things to help her pack up, a little nervous about what her girlfriend is going to tell her.

-

When they get to Lauren’s house, Camila is tugged straight upstairs by the older Latina, who doesn’t even say hi to her parents like she usually would. Instead, she drags Camila into her room and closes the door behind them, turning on her straight away.

Camila can’t help but feel a little nervous under her girlfriend’s intense emerald stare. “Um… so…”

“So,” Lauren repeats, sitting down on her bed next to Camila, “want to watch a movie?”

“Really, Lo?” Camila raises an eyebrow. “Come on. Talk to me. What do you feel like you have to change about yourself?”

“Okay, so-” Lauren stands up and starts pacing around the room, “you have to understand that I don’t- I don’t really talk to anyone about these kinds of things. Not even Normani, and she’s my best friend. This is the stuff that I bottle up and keep to myself.”

“It’s not good to bottle things up.” Camila replies. “I would know. I did a lot of that.”

“I know that, but I can’t-” Lauren sighs and it comes out shaky, her voice cracking, “I _can’t_ talk about these things. It just makes them more real, you know?”

“I won’t judge, Lo,” Camila assures her, “I promise you that.”

Lauren sucks in another breath and looks anywhere but Camila, and the younger Latina can’t remember a time she’s ever seen Lauren this nervous. Lauren always seems to self-assured and confident, but right now she’s so small and anxious, and Camila wants nothing more than to hug her and make everything okay.

“Look, just,” Lauren keeps pacing and eventually stops by her dresser, tapping on it with her fingers. She runs a hand through her hair and sighs. “I'm not- I hate the way I look, okay? Like, physically."

Camila frowns in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, like, I hate... just-" Lauren sighs again, "My body. I don't like it at all. Like, let's be real, I'm not exactly the skinniest girl around. I'm kind of... big.”

“Lauren, what the _fuck_?” Camila blinks in surprise, because that’s the last thing she expected to come out of her girlfriend’s mouth. “You’re not-”

“ _Don’t_.” Lauren interrupts her, still not meeting her gaze. “Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not lying to you.” Camila stands up and wraps her arms around Lauren’s waist, pulling her close. “You’re not "big" or whatever you want to call it.”

“Don’t lie.” Lauren pushes her off and shakes her head, letting out another breath. “But it’s okay. I’m fixing it.”

“No- Lauren, you don’t have to fix anything. Your body is the most perfect thing I’ve ever seen.” Camila pulls Lauren back, the older girl thankfully burying her face into Camila’s shoulder. “I think you’re absolutely beautiful and I’d kill to look like you.”

“But that’s not the _problem_.” Lauren emphasises, pulling away from Camila again and pacing. “It’s not like- I know I’m not _fat_ as in like, really overweight, there’s just too much… _excess_. I’m not thin.”

Camila blinks in confusion. “Lo, you’re being an idiot. You don’t need to be super skinny and-”

“I’m not _saying_ that.” Lauren interrupts her. “I’m saying that I don’t want to be like _this_. You just- you don’t get it, Camila. I knew you wouldn’t.”

“I don’t get it because you’re not making any sense.” Camila shoots back, grabbing Lauren’s hand. “Calm down and talk to me. Tell me why you don't like your body. Explain everything.”

“Well, uh, you know that in middle school I did softball and I was on the track team and did a bunch of other sports?” Lauren starts, finally sitting down next to Camila.

“Yeah.” Camila nods. “You were such a little jock.”

“When I started high school I stopped doing that. I stopped doing sports all together.” Lauren explains. “I don’t even know _why_ I stopped. I didn’t have a reason to. But because I’d stopped doing it- I started to get all… _pudgy_ and I hated it. I felt so bad about myself but every time I’d try to talk to my mom or my friends about it, they’d just roll their eyes and do the same thing you just did; tell me I’m not fat, because I wasn’t, not really. I was just _kind of_ , and that’s what I hated. Too fat to be considered thin by myself, too thin to be considered fat whenever I tried to talk to people about it.

“But like I said, it’s okay. I’m changing it.” Lauren continues, tracing patterns across Camila’s palm. “I started softball again this year and I’ve been going for runs but nothing is really changing yet.”

“You don’t _have_ to do that though, Lo,” Camila assures her, “nobody looks at you and thinks you’re fat or pudgy or whatever you want to describe yourself as. In case you haven’t noticed-” Camila pauses and lifts Lauren’s shirt up slightly, her fingers running across the older Latina’s abs, “this is all muscle, practically. Just because you don’t have a damn six pack, doesn’t mean you’re not healthy. I think you’re just- it’s like me with my insecurities. I hated practically everything about myself, and sometimes I look in the mirror and see what sixth grade Camila saw. Your worries like to stick around.”

“No, Camz, you don’t _get it_.” Lauren pushes her shirt down and shakes her head. “It’s not like I sometimes look in the mirror and it’s a passing thought because it was constantly in my head before. It’s always there, in the back of my mind. It’s _every_ time I look in the mirror, because it’s still- nothing is _changing_. Sometimes things do. Sometimes I don't feel too bad about it, but those days are few and far between."

“Nothing fucking needs to change.” Camila argues. “You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. You were in middle school, and you are now.” Camila touches her hands to Lauren’s sides and squeezes. “You have _curves_ , Lo. And they’re beautiful and womanly and they make me crazy.”

Lauren sighs and rests her head on Camila’s shoulder. “I hate my arms.”

Camila traces patterns over Lauren’s upper arm. “I love your arms.”

“They’re too squishy.” Lauren murmurs. “I’m too squishy.”

“Well…” Camila kisses her, “you’re my perfect squishy girlfriend. And I wouldn’t change that for the world.”

Lauren looks up at her, and for the first time ever, her usually bright green eyes are dull and glazed over. “I’m not perfect. Far from it, actually.”

“Neither am I,” Camila responds, missing the brightness in her girlfriend’s eyes, “but you’re far from overweight, Lauren. Please remember that. I don’t want you to go to any extremes, because you don’t need to lose weight.”

Lauren shakes her head. “But-”

“Don’t argue with me.” Camila interrupts. “Your body is beautiful, and I’m going to remind you every single day. You shouldn’t change yourself, Lo. I adore your curves. I adore your arms. I adore your tummy. You’re so fucking pretty, Lauren.”

Lauren sighs and moves so that her head is in Camila’s lap, and the younger girl starts playing with her hair. “Can you stay over tonight? I don’t want to be alone with my thoughts. Especially not now that I’ve vocalised them. Made them real.”

“You haven’t made them real.” Camila replies, fiddling with one of the studs in the top of Lauren’s left ear. “If I casually announced that I’m a millionaire, that doesn’t mean I actually am one.”

“That’s different.” Lauren shifts so she’s looking up at Camila. “You wouldn’t get it, Camz. You’re like, fucking tiny. You don’t get it.”

“Lauren, you’re _not_ fat, and even if you were, it wouldn’t be a bad thing.” Camila reiterates, brushing Lauren’s raven hair out of her eyes. “As long as you’re healthy, your body is fine, and you’re perfectly healthy.”

“Just because I’m considered healthy, doesn’t mean I’m comfortable with the way my body looks,” Lauren argues, “and I think it’s too squishy. I think that I need to work out more. There’s different types of healthy, Camila.”

“I’ve told you this what feels like a million times, but your body is perfect.” Almost as if she’s trying to emphasise her point, Camila runs her hand along Lauren’s waist. “You’re so fucking beautiful, angel. I never want you to change. Please don’t try to change yourself, because you’re gorgeous and you don’t need to. That’s a fact, and I’m going to make you believe it.”

“You never answered my question.” Lauren brushes off Camila’s words. “Can you stay over tonight?”

“I- um…” Camila bites down on her lip, “okay? I guess.”

“Good.” Lauren nods and grabs the younger Latina’s hand. “You can sleep in that hoodie you borrowed last time.”

Camila nods in response, unsure if she’s just agreed to something she’s not entirely comfortable doing. Since Lauren was her girlfriend, does that mean they have to start getting more intimate? Because sleepovers when you’re dating generally mean one thing, and Camila is in no way ready for that.

“Why do you want me to stay over?” Camila asks. “You know I’ll probably fall asleep in the middle of watching a movie and leave you all bored.”

“I know that. I just want you to hold me.” Lauren tells her, squeezing her hand. “I like cuddling with you. I like kissing you too, so we’ll be doing a lot of both of those things.”

“Okay. So… you’re officially the little spoon, then?” Camila asks. “Cool. I’m fine with that. It gives me an excuse to play with your hair.”

“You don’t need an excuse for that.” Lauren finally sits up and runs a hand through her hair. “You don’t need an excuse to do anything, really. If you want to play with my hair or kiss me or _anything_ , go for it. Because I love it.”

“That’s good to know.” Camila kisses Lauren’s cheek and smiles. “Are you feeling better now after getting everything out?”

Lauren shrugs. “I don’t know. I might in a few hours or so. Right now I just feel kind of empty and indifferent.”

“Well, we can watch a few movies to cheer you up.” Camila proposes. “We can get into our pyjamas now and snuggle for a few hours. How does that sound?”

To Camila’s relief, Lauren beams at her and leans forward, giving her a gentle kiss. “That sounds absolutely wonderful. Thanks, Camz.”

Camila smiles and fiddles with Lauren’s hand. “You don’t need to thank me. Just doing my job and being the best girlfriend I can possibly be.”

“You’re doing excellently at that.” Lauren rests her head on Camila’s shoulder. “I’m really fucking glad I can call you my girlfriend, Camz.”

“And _I’m_ really glad that I can call you my _first_ girlfriend.” Camila replies. “You’ve been my first everything so far. First date, first kiss, and first girlfriend. I thought you were supposed to date some weirdo before you actually meet someone cool. I guess I’m ahead of the game.”

Lauren snorts. “Who says I’m not a weirdo?”

“Oh, you _are,_ ” Camila easily shoots back, “but you’re the good kind of weird, and so am I, which is why I’m glad you’re my first girlfriend.”

Lauren is silent for a moment, before she looks up at Camila, her eyes back to their usual bright green. “You’re my first girlfriend too, you know.”

“I- I am?” Camila frowns. “You’ve had relationships before. You’re the one who’s experienced in all of this relationship stuff.”

“Yeah, I’ve had relationships, but only with guys.” Lauren explains. “I’ve had boyfriends, but I haven’t had a girlfriend before. I have… _experiences_ with girls, but I’ve never actually dated one.”

“Boyfriends? As in plural?” Camila asks. “I thought you’d only ever dated that Keaton guy in middle school?”

“Nope,” Lauren shakes her head and moves off the bed, walking over to her wall of Polaroid pictures.

She beckons Camila over and then pulls one off the wall, revealing another picture that had been half covered. What Camila thought was just a picture of Ally, Dinah and Normani sitting on Lauren’s couch turns out to be a picture of Ally, Dinah, Normani, and Lauren snuggled up to some guy.

Camila can’t help but feel a surge of jealousy, and she catches herself glaring down at the boy in the picture. Apparently, Lauren catches her too, because she laughs and throws an arm around her shoulder. “Come _on_ , Camz. This picture is from nearly two years ago. No need to shoot daggers at the guy.”

“I guess I just- um, got caught up.” Camila nervously laughs. “Don’t blame me for being a little jealous. You’ve never snuggled up to me like that yet. I only have experiences as the little spoon.”

Lauren rolls her eyes and hands the picture to Camila. “That’s my ex-boyfriend, Luis. We dated for a little under a year, from around March of freshman year to midway through sophomore year. Turns out he’d been cheating on me for five months towards the end of the relationship.”

Camila blinks in surprise and her jaw drops. “You- he _cheated_ on you? But- I mean, if he hadn’t you guys might still be together and that’d suck for me, but why would he cheat on you? You’re like- a _goddess_.”

Lauren bursts out laughing. “Trust me, I’m far from that. But thanks, I guess.”

“I just don’t get it.” Camila continues. “Like- he had _you_. Why would he want anyone else? That’s really stupid logic.”

“I never asked.” Lauren shrugs. “After I found out and broke up with him, I didn’t want to see him again, and I never did. I blocked him on everything and deleted his number, and he goes to a different school. So… yeah. I guess I’ll never know.”

Camila bites down on her lip, unsure if she should ask what’s on her mind. But, she figures she might as well go for it. Lauren said she trusted her, after all. “Um… did you guys- like…”

She trails off, and Lauren raises an eyebrow in amusement. “Did I sleep with him?”

Camila turns bright red and looks down at her feet. “Um… yeah. Did you?”

“No,” Lauren shakes her head, “maybe that’s why he cheated. I’ve only ever slept with one person before.”

“Oh,” Camila doesn’t really know how to react to that, “well, uh… okay. Did you… um, have fun?”

Lauren bursts out laughing again. “What kind of a question is that? Camila, it’s sex. Of course I had fun.”

“Well, I don’t know, it’s not like I’ve experienced that.” Camila defends herself, rolling her eyes. “Was it with another boyfriend or something?”

“Nope, I’ve been single since Luis.” Lauren replies. “It was like… a fling this summer. With a friend.”

“A friend?” Camila repeats, her eyes widening. “Oh, don’t tell me you’ve slept with Dinah or-”

Lauren nearly chokes on air. “Oh my god, no, not those friends. They’re like- they’re straight. Not saying I wouldn’t sleep with them if they weren’t, but-”

“ _Lauren_ ,” Camila gives her a playful shove, “how would you like me to tell them you said that, huh?”

“You _wouldn’t_ ,” Lauren sends her a teasing smile, “I’d give you my puppy dog eyes and you’d cave instantly.”

“I’m not _that_ easily manipulated.” Camila argues. “But who was it? That you slept with, I mean. Do I know them?”

“Um… kinda,” Lauren’s teasing demeanour disappears completely, “do you, uh, remember my old friend Lucy?”

“Vives?” Camila can vaguely remember who Lauren is referencing. “You- she was one of the ones who was in your little _gang_ , right? You, Alexa, Lucy, Vero and Keana. That was it, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Lauren nods, “turns out she’s bi, too. We ran into each other at a party in summer and things just kind of happened. She doesn’t hang with Alexa and everyone anymore, either.”

“Oh,” Camila doesn’t really know how to take that information. “Do you still talk?”

Lauren looks her over with a frown. “Camz, we hooked up _once_ in summer, before I’d even met you.”

“That’s not- I didn’t say that I was worried if you were still talking.” Camila is quick to defend herself. “I just wondered if you still talked.”

“We text sometimes, but I haven’t seen her in person since July.” Lauren answers, waiting for Camila’s reaction. “The last time I texted her was after our third date. She saw my Instagram post about you and asked me if Karla Camila Cabello happened to be the Karla she knew in middle school. I said yes and she told me that we were cute together and asked if we’d want to hang out with her some time.”

“Oh… okay.” Camila murmurs. “I didn’t ask because I don’t trust you, Lo. I asked because I just wondered. I like knowing things about you.”

Lauren smiles and kisses her temple. “Okay. I believe you.”

“Do you want this picture back?” Camila holds out the Polaroid of the girls and Lauren’s boyfriend. “You had it strategically covered up before.”

“I don’t know.” Lauren looks down at it. “Maybe we could have a little bonfire later.”

Camila laughs. “Whatever you want, Lolo. Just don’t burn your house down. Your mom might think I’m a bad influence.”

Lauren rolls her eyes. “If anything, she’d think I was the bad influence. She’d be like ‘Lauren Michelle, why are you telling Camila to light fires and act so immaturely?’ and then proceed to yell at me for ten minutes.”

Camila smirks. “Well then, _Lauren Michelle_ , I guess the bonfire is off.”

“Don’t middle name me.” Lauren pokes her in the arm and pulls her back to her bed. “That’s mean.”

“You middle name _me_ all the time.” Camila defends herself. “I’m just getting my revenge.”

“I middle name you because you _use_ your middle name. It’d be different if I went by Michelle.” Lauren lets out an indignant huff, before her face twists into a smirk. “I guess I could first name you from now on.”

Camila’s eyes widen. “Don’t you _dare_ , Lauren Michelle.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t get that,” Lauren sends her a teasing smile, “can you repeat yourself, _Karla_?”

“I told you not to call me Karla!” Camila jabs her fingers into Lauren’s sides and tickles her, and the older Latina jumps away and dives onto her bed. Not caring about boundaries for a moment, Camila jumps on her and tickles her again, shaking her head when Lauren tries her best to slap her hands away. “I warned you, Lo.”

“Yeah?” Lauren pauses and pushes Camila over on the bed, sitting on the younger Latina’s stomach. “I can _easily_ overpower you. I’m way stronger.”

Camila laughs and pulls Lauren down for a kiss. “I guess I’ll let you off with a warning, then. _No_ calling me Karla.”

Lauren raises an eyebrow. “Don’t call me Lauren Michelle, then.”

“Fine. Deal,” Camila agrees, “now get off me and let me cuddle you.”

Lauren just smiles. “ _That_ I can do.”


	14. Chapter 14

When winter break finally arrives, Camila can’t wait to spend two weeks curled up on her couch in a fluffy blanket watching Netflix. Maybe with the addition of her girlfriend. Her friends, however, have a different outlook. The second the final bell rings, signalling the end of the school day and the start of winter break, Normani grabs her by the arm and sends her an apologetic smile.

“I promised Dinah I wouldn’t let you run off to Lauren’s car just yet.” Normani explains herself. “She told me she needs to talk to you when she gets back from the bathroom. Apparently she thinks you’re going to go into hibernation for the next two weeks and not see anybody.”

Admittedly, that’s entirely what Camila had planned on doing. “Well, I mean, I’d probably see Lauren.”

Normani rolls her eyes. “Duh. You’re so whipped for her, Mila. It’s kind of funny, actually.”

“I’m not _whipped_.” Camila blushes and looks down at her feet. “I just... like spending time with her and making her happy.”

“Oh, trust me, you make her happy.” Normani laughs. “Every time we get onto the topic of relationships, she just gushes about you. Once she gets started you can’t stop her. In fact, one time I was talking about something completely irrelevant and then she somehow found a way to relate it to you and started rambling about how cute you are. It’s _gross_.”

“I second that,” Dinah comes to a stop in front of them and smirks at Camila, “Walz is very passionate about her little girlfriend.”

“Shut _up_ ,” Camila is certain she probably looks like a distant relative of a tomato right now, “she makes me happy, okay? Anyway, Mani said you wanted to talk to me?”

Dinah nods. “Yeah, just a few things- you need to keep your phone on loud because we might make plans in the group chat and you need to be aware of them. I’m not letting you-”

“Go into hibernation?” Camila finishes for her. “Don’t worry, I won’t. As long as I get a decent amount of time to curl up on the couch and watch movies, I’ll be fine. Besides, Lauren has a habit of showing up at my house on a weekend and insisting we need to hang out, so it’s not like I’d go two full weeks without human interaction.”

“You could barely go two minutes without Lauren, let alone two weeks,” Dinah teases her, “but you have to make time for us and Ally, too.”

Normani nods. “Ally mentioned that we can have a baking day at her place, so-”

“I’m in.” Camila is quick to reply, because Ally’s baking is phenomenal, and if helping her bake means she can eat as many of her friend’s cookies as she likes, she’s there. “All you have to do is bribe me with Ally’s baking and I’ll hang out with you any time you want.”

Dinah laughs. “It’s good to know that all we need to do to lure you somewhere is just shove a bunch of Ally’s baking and Lauser in a room. You’d be there in two seconds.”

“Yeah, and she’d have plenty to eat.” Normani smirks. “You’d never go hungry in that room, Mila.”

Knowing what Normani is implying, Camila blushes again and sends the older girl her best glare. “Are you two done teasing me yet? Because I’m pretty sure Ally and Lauren are waiting for us in the parking lot.”

Apparently they’re not done teasing her, because they keep making as many subtle jokes as they can as they make their way to the parking lot, and Camila is entirely relieved when she spots her girlfriend talking to Ally by her car, because Ally and Lauren are generally pretty good buffers from Dinah and Normani’s teasing.

“Hey, Camz,” Lauren greets her with a quick kiss, “how was math?”

“Traumatic as usual.” Camila replies as Lauren’s hands wrap around her waist. “It didn’t help that Dinah and Mani felt the need to tease me as much as the possibly could. How was biology?”

“The same as usual. Glad we have two weeks off, though.” Lauren says. “Do you want to stay over tonight?”

Camila deflates, because she really would if she could. “I can’t. My parents are going out with friends tonight so I have to look after Sofi.”

“Perfect, I’ll stay at yours.” Lauren grins. “I’m great with kids.”

Camila blinks in confusion. “You’d want to spend your Friday night helping me look after my little sister?”

“Key words: helping _you_. If you’re there, I’m there.” Lauren squeezes her hand and then moves around the car to get into the driver’s side. “Plus, like I said, I’m great with kids, so it’ll be a breeze. And I also really want to fall asleep next to you tonight.”

“She’s not lying, actually.” Dinah tells her. “She’s really good with my siblings. Seth even calls her Auntie Lolo. Now get in the car and drive. I want to go home.”

Lauren rolls her eyes but gets into the car, and Camila follows her lead, buckling herself in. As usual, she stays quiet for most of the car ride, occasionally contributing a yes or no to the conversation, until she and Lauren are alone in the car.

“I’ll go home and grab a few things and be back at yours as soon as I can.” Lauren tells her after she watches to make sure Ally gets in okay. “I need to get some pyjamas and my toothbrush and stuff.”

“I still have that hoodie you let me borrow the other week when I stayed at yours.” Camila reminds her. “You can just wear that. And I think we have a spare toothbrush somewhere-”

Lauren laughs. “I need to get clothes for tomorrow too. And I have to pick up Nala. Can’t forget my cuddle buddy.”

“Uh, _I’m_ your cuddle buddy.” Camila folds her arms across her chest and sends her girlfriend an indignant glare. “Don’t cheat on me with Nala.”

“Technically she was my cuddle buddy first.” Lauren smirks at her. “So if we’re being real here, I’m cheating on Nala with you. We’re having a cuddle affair.”

Camila snorts. “Just promise to pay more attention to me. Then I won’t have a problem with you bringing Nala.”

“I’d always pay more attention to you.” Lauren rolls her eyes as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “But I’ll be back at yours as soon as I can be. I need to tell my parents that I’m going to be out, anyway. Plus the whole pyjamas, clothes, toothbrush, Nala thing.”

“I told you that I have one of your hoodies. Sleep in that.” Camila replies. “Saves you carrying pyjamas over to my house.”

Lauren shrugs. “That’s yours now, though. I gave it to you.”

“You did?” Camila frowns. “I figured you just forgot to ask for it back. Not that I was going to remind you, though.”

“If I wanted it back I would’ve said something.” Lauren tells her. “Besides, I like seeing you in my clothes.”

“Well, I like wearing your clothes.” Camila responds as Lauren pulls up in front of her house. “You’ll be back straight away?”

“As soon as I can be.” Lauren nods. “I’ll be like, half an hour at the most.”

“I’ll leave the door unlocked so you can let yourself in.” Camila climbs out of the car. “Depending on when you get back, my parents might be home, and since I told them you were my girlfriend they’ve been dying for you to come over to dinner, so if they somehow wrangle you into conversation and ask you, please just say you’re busy?”

“Why would I be busy? I have two weeks with absolutely no commitments aside from a few softball practices.” Lauren says. “I’d love to come over for dinner some time. After Christmas would probably make the most sense.”

“I don’t want you to come over for dinner.” Camila feels a little guilty when she sees a small flash of sadness in Lauren’s eyes. “My parents will embarrass me and I don’t want them to.”

Lauren rolls her eyes. “Camz, parents are embarrassing in general. Besides, I’ll have to meet them as your girlfriend at some point. Better sooner than later.”

“Your parents aren’t making you bring me over for dinner. It’s embarrassing in itself that mine are.” Camila argues. “Please just say you’re busy if they ask?”

“Nope. Sorry, Camzi.” Lauren laughs. “Besides, my parents already thought you were my girlfriend when you brought me home that night when I was drunk. At least my dad did. And apparently you had breakfast with my family.”

Camila snorts. “You weren’t awake for that, so it doesn’t count.”

“Well, then I’ll invite you over for family night. That way my parents can embarrass me too and you have nothing to complain about.” Lauren wagers, and Camila has to admit that it’s a good offer. “Sound good?”

“Yeah.” Camila nods and glances towards the house. “I’m going to go in and make sure the couch isn’t freezing when you get back. I’ll see you in a few?”

“Yep.” Lauren confirms. “See you in a half hour. Later, Camz.”

Camila ducks back into the car to kiss her girlfriend goodbye. “Bye, Lo.”

When Camila gets in, she doesn’t head straight for the couch like she said she would. Instead, she darts up to her bedroom and starts tidying away all of the mess, because the last thing she wants is for her girlfriend to think she’s a slob. Even though Lauren had revealed her bedroom’s usual ‘messy’ state to Camila, it was nothing compared to her room right now. Lauren’s idea of messy was a few socks on the floor, and Camila’s idea of messy is the warzone of discarded clothes she’s hastily shoving into her closet.

Once she’s cleared the floor and made her dresser look acceptable, she turns around and rolls her eyes at herself, because she hadn’t even bothered to make her bed that morning. After dealing with that, she sprays some air freshener for good measure and then heads downstairs, finally relaxing.

She turns on the TV but doesn’t really pay attention to what’s playing on it. Instead, she checks her phone to see if Lauren has texted to let her know she’s on her way, a little surprised when she sees a Facebook notification.

Camila opens the app with a frown, because she _never_ gets Facebook notifications since she’s basically inactive on it. The only time she uses it is if she wants to see what someone she’s friends with is posting, so the notification is completely out of the blue. She tries not to think about it too much, figuring it’s probably Sinu sending her a game request.

It’s not.

The notification turns out to be from Lauren.

****_Lauren Jauregui: I took this sneaky candid of her at school today when we went for a little walk outside and I decided that my Facebook friends need to know how beautiful my girlfriend is. (Yes, she’s my girlfriend. In the gay way. Full homo. Lesbihonest.) This picture makes her look really poised and graceful but about two seconds after I took it she tripped on air and nearly fell on her face._ ** **

Reading Lauren’s caption, Camila laughs and types out a comment.

****_Camila Cabello: excuse u i’ll have u kno i’m very poised and graceful_ ** **

She knows that Lauren is probably driving now – the picture was posted five minutes ago, and she figures her girlfriend has set off to come to hers – and when she hears a car in the driveway, she immediately perks up and runs to the front door, opening it with a smile.

But then, she realises it’s her parents and Sofi, not her girlfriend.

“Kaki!” Sofi runs towards her, and Camila leans down to pick her up. “You’re home.”

“Yeah, Lauren dropped me off about half an hour ago.” Camila kisses her sister’s cheek and smiles. “She’s coming over tonight to hang out with us. Is that okay with you?”

“Yeah!” Sofi beams and looks to Sinu with a smile. “Kaki says Lauren is coming over tonight.”

Sinu looks between Camila and Sofi, her gaze eventually landing on Camila. “And will Lauren be sleeping over?”

“She will.” Camila nods, putting Sofi down. “She’s going to help me babysit.”

Sinu hums as she passes Camila to go into the house. “I’ll clear out the guest room then. There’s still a few boxes of junk in there, but-”

“Wait- what?” Camila frowns in confusion, following her mom through to the kitchen. “Why would you need to clear out the guest room? She’s staying with me.”

“I don’t think so, Karla,” Sinu turns around and sends her a knowing smile. “You’re teenagers. I don’t know what you’ll get up to-”

“No, mom, you really don’t get it,” Camila laughs, but she’s not smiling. Her mom is making stupid assumptions, but if it means that Lauren will be made to sleep in a different room, it’s not that funny. “We’re not going to get up to anything. I’ve slept in her room when I stay at her house.”

Sinu raises her eyebrows. “I was your age once, Karla. Don’t think I won’t call Lauren’s parents and ask if that’s true, because I doubt it is.”

“Clearly Lauren’s parents trust her more than you trust me.” Camila folds her arms across her chest and turns away from her mom. “Because they have no problem with Lauren and I sharing a bed.”

“It’s not an issue of trust.” Sinu replies. “I just know what teenagers get up to. Now I’ll sort out the guest room.”

Camila moves to block the door. “No. Lauren’s staying in my room.”

“Karla, this is your first relationship and you’re going to be alone in the house together. What do you expect me to think you’re planning on doing?” Sinu points out. “I just don’t want you doing anything you might not be ready for.”

“Oh, trust me, I know I’m not ready for any of that stuff.” Camila rolls her eyes. “But you know what I am ready for? Snuggling with her until I fall asleep. And that’s the plan. If she’s sleeping in the guest room, I am too.”

Sinu sighs. “You never usually speak to me like this.”

“Because you never assume things. Lauren wouldn’t ever push me to do anything.” Camila assures her. “In fact, she wanted to sleep over tonight so we could cuddle and watch movies. We’re not doing anything more than that.”

“Fine,” Sinu caves and Camila beams, “I trust you, mija. Don’t doubt that.”

“Kaki!” A loud voice pierces through the room before Camila can reply. “Lauren is here!”

Naturally, Camila darts out of the kitchen and into the hallway, where Sofi is stood talking to Lauren, who is kicking her shoes off. Camila looks her girlfriend over – she’s changed out of the flannel shirt and shorts she’d been wearing at school and is in sweatpants and a hoodie, her hair tied up in a bun, showing off the dragonfly on the back of her neck. Nala is tucked under her arm and she has a backpack slung over her right shoulder, and when she turns to look at Camila, the younger girl notices that she’s taken her makeup off.

“Hey, Camz,” Lauren smiles at her and Camila’s stomach flips, “sorry I was a little longer than I thought. Tay needed my help with something and then I decided to get changed.”

“You got comfortable early, huh?” Camila laughs. “I should’ve done the same, now that I think about it. Give me a few minutes and I’ll get into my pyjamas.”

“Alright.” Lauren nods and directs her gaze to Sofi. “Hey, Sofi, want to watch some cartoons while Camz goes upstairs and gets changed?”

“Yeah!” Sofi reaches her arms out and nods to the lounge door. “Give me a piggyback, Lolo.”

Camila goes to reprimand her sister and remind her that she hardly knows Lauren and she shouldn’t ask for things like that, but Lauren leans down and lets Sofi climb onto her back. Then, to Camila’s surprise, Lauren turns to her with a smirk. “I bet my piggybacks are better than Camila’s. I have at least two inches on her.”

“It’s _two inches_ ,” Camila emphasises, “you’re still only 5’4. That’s pretty short, Lo.”

“Actually, 5’4 is the average height for females in the US. If we’re going by statistics, that means I’m average.” Lauren walks towards her with Sofi on her back. “Take that, Cabello.”

“Whatever, Jauregui.” Camila rolls her eyes. “I’m going to go and get changed.”

After giving Lauren a quick peck on the cheek, Camila runs upstairs and tugs on her pyjamas, taking her makeup off as fast as she possibly can. She swaps her contacts for her glasses and heads back downstairs to find Lauren and Sofi on the couch together.

“This is Nala,” Lauren is saying, “she’s my best friend. After your sister, of course.”

Sofi smiles. “I don’t have a cuddly toy anymore. I thought I was too old for it. I think Kaki has one somewhere but she doesn’t cuddle with it anymore.”

“You can never be too old for a cuddly toy,” Lauren replies, “and Camz never told me she had a teddy bear somewhere. Maybe her teddy and Nala can make friends.”

Sofi frowns, tilting her head to the side slightly like a confused puppy. “Why do you always call her Camz?”

“Well, it’s like when you always call her Kaki,” Lauren explains, and Camila nearly lets out a loud _aw_ when Sofi cuddles up to her. “It’s like my special name for her. Nobody else calls her it. The rest of our friends call her Mila.”

“Are you Kaki’s girlfriend?” Sofi asks. “Because she always talks about you and you go out together all the time but I don’t know if you’re her girlfriend or not.”

“I’m her girlfriend, yeah.” Lauren nods, and Camila’s stomach flips, because she’ll never get used to hearing Lauren say that. “I’ve been her girlfriend for nearly a month now.”

“So, do you guys like… kiss and stuff?” Sofi questions, looking at Lauren as though she holds all of the world’s secrets. “Like… on the mouth?”

Lauren laughs. “Yeah, we do. Why do you ask?”

“Because I think she’s lucky that she likes girls.” Sofi replies. “Boys have cooties so I can’t kiss any of them. But Kaki likes girls so she’s not going to get cooties. Thanks for not giving my sister cooties.”

Lauren grins. “No worries, Sofi.”

“Please don’t stop being her girlfriend.” Sofi continues, and Camila feels herself turn bright red. “She’s happy now that you’re here. When we lived at our old house she was always sad and she didn't really play games with me much, but then we came here and she’s always smiling and she plays with me all the time. I think that’s because of you, so please don’t go away.”

Lauren’s smile turns softer around the edges and she shakes her head. “You don’t have to worry about that. I’m not going anywhere.”

Camila finally makes her presence known. “That’s good to know, because I’m pretty sure you’re the only girl on the planet that can put up with my craziness.”

“That’s only because I’m equally as crazy.” Lauren looks up and smiles at her, patting the spot next to her on the couch. “Come here.”

Camila sits down and curls up next to Lauren, looking over to the TV. “What’re we watching?”

“Adventure Time!” Sofi is the one to answer. “Lolo says she likes this, too. She told me her favourite character is Lumpy Space Princess.”

Camila snorts with laughter and looks up to her girlfriend. “So… watches a kids’ show, sleeps with a teddy bear, and is just generally adorable in very single way…” she trails off and smirks at her, “and you say you’re a badass.”

“I _am_ ,” Lauren insists, rolling her eyes, “I just don’t show you my full badassery because my dorky little Camzi wouldn’t be able to handle it.”

“Yeah, nice excuse,” Camila smirks and kisses Lauren’s cheek, “you’re a puppy, Lo. Accept it.”

“I’m not,” Lauren defends herself, “honestly, Camz, I’m hardcore. Tell her, Sofi. Tell Camz how intimidating and scary I am.”

Sofi laughs. “You’re not scary, Lolo. Kaki is right, you’re a puppy.”

Naturally, Lauren does the least badass thing in the whole world and pouts. “Now you’re just ganging up on me.”

“Ganging up on you with the truth, maybe,” Camila retorts, throwing an arm around Lauren’s shoulder. She smiles when Lauren reaches up to hold her hand. “Hate to break it to you, Lo, but you’re a little cutie. I bet you’ll know all of the words when we have a High School Musical marathon.”

“I do know all the words and I’m not ashamed to tell you that.” Lauren folds her arms across her chest. “Honestly, I’m the best Gabriella there is.”

“Want a bet?” Camila nods towards the TV. “I have a High School Musical karaoke game that I’ll kick both yours and Sofi’s asses at.”

Lauren snorts and turns to Sofi. “She’s a total liar, isn’t she? I bet you and me will kick _her_ butt back to California.”

“Yeah,” Sofi giggles and gets up to get the game out, and Camila takes the chance to move even closer to Lauren.

She sends her girlfriend a warm smile and nods to her little sister. “Dinah was right, you know. You _are_ good with kids. She really likes you, and that’s pretty rare. Usually she’s super sceptical around new people.”

“Apparently she likes me because I didn’t give you cooties.” Lauren laughs. “So I guess that’s a win for both of us. You don’t contract a dreaded case of the cooties and your little sister likes me.”

Camila grins. “I know. I heard you guys talking. She was right, you know; you’re one of the reasons why I’m so happy lately.”

“One of?” Lauren raises her eyebrows. “What’re the other things?”

“Dinah, Mani and Ally,” Camila replies, “the whole ‘having friends’ thing is kind of a new experience. So is having a girlfriend, so naturally, having a girlfriend who just so happens to be the girl I’ve liked since sixth grade is a very positive thing.”

Lauren blinks in confusion. “Sixth grade? I thought you started liking me in seventh grade. Like – this sounds bad – but I didn’t know you existed until seventh grade. We didn’t share any classes in sixth grade, did we?”

“We did,” Camila nods, a little hurt that Lauren hadn’t noticed her, “we were in the same English class. I don’t blame you for not noticing me – I’d always opt out when we had to do presentations and class feedback – but I noticed you. I remember that I’d seen you around on our first week of school and when I found out I was in the same English class as you, I was going to try and partner up with you for something to get your attention. Never did.”

Lauren frowns. “Why not? You could’ve just walked over to me whenever we had to get into pairs or something. It wouldn’t have been hard to get my attention.”

Camila scoffs. “Yeah, I could’ve always walked up to you and been like ‘hey, I’m Camila, your friends like to beat me up in their free time, want to go on a date?’. Obviously you’d have fallen for me then and there.”

“Well, obviously not like that,” Lauren rolls her eyes, “you should’ve just introduced yourself or asked to be partners for a project. Then I would’ve noticed you and it’d have given you a chance to get to know me.”

“Once your friends had their influence, you wouldn’t have looked at me twice.” Camila argues, looking down at her feet. “Admit it, you were freaked out when you found out I liked you.”

“Only because I was absolutely determined to be straight and had homophobic friends. When I realised I definitely wasn’t straight at all and that girls are fucking dope, I didn’t really mind.” Lauren tells her, kissing her cheek. “Besides, I told you I’d liked you back. I was just scared about what people close to me would think because I liked a girl. Now I don’t give a fuck. You’re mine and I don’t care who knows it.”

“Lauren, language,” Camila warns her, “my little sister is sat right over there.”

“That’s not important.” Lauren nudges her playfully. “You’re my Camzi and the whole world needs to know.”

“Is that why you posted a picture you’d taken of me on your Facebook today?” Camila asks, getting the post up on her phone. “Also, you never replied to my comment. I’m very poised and graceful.”

Lauren laughs. “You’re the least graceful person I know. You fell over your own feet more times than I could count today.”

“Girls,” at the sound of Sinu’s voice, Camila nearly has a heart attack, because she really wasn’t expecting that, “Alejandro and I are heading out. We’ll be back around eleven.”

“Okay, mom,” Camila nods as Sofi runs over to give their mom a hug goodbye, “I’ll make sure Sofi is in bed by the usual time, and Lauren and I will probably have gone upstairs by the time you get back. Depending on how many movies we watch after Sofi goes to bed.”

“If you come in and the TV is still on, that means we’ve probably fallen asleep on the couch.” Lauren supplies as Sofi runs back over and squeezes herself in between Camila and her girlfriend. “Either that or we’re finishing the planned High School Musical marathon.”

“Yeah, but you’ll probably hear us singing if it’s the latter,” Camila jokes, “Have a good night though. Love you guys.”

“Love you too, Karla,” Sinu walks over and kisses Camila on the top of her head, and naturally, she blushes as red as possible because her mom has inevitably embarrassed her in front of her incredibly hot girlfriend. “Don’t wait up, honey.”

“I don’t plan on it. Looking out of Sofi takes a lot out of me.” Camila jokes as her sister lets out a loud ‘ _hey!_ ’. “I honestly won’t be surprised if I fall asleep on Lauren within an hour of Sofi being put to bed.”

“I’m not opposed to that.” Lauren sends her a teasing smile. “You’re quite warm, actually. I like leeching all of your body heat from you.”

Camila snorts. “Nice to know you’re not cuddling me because you actually like me.”

Sinu rolls her eyes at them. “Be good, you two. I’ll see you later.”

After giving Camila’s shoulder one final squeeze, Sinu makes her way out of the room, and Camila waits until she hears the car pull out of the driveway before turning to Lauren. “By ‘be good’ she means ‘please don’t have wild sex tonight’. Just so you know.”

Lauren nearly chokes on air. “Does she really think that we’re going to- just yet?”

“Apparently so.” Camila laughs at her girlfriend’s reaction. “I mean, if we’d been together for a while, I’d see her worry, but now? I’m in no way ready for that.”

Lauren smiles and squeezes Camila’s knee. “Don’t worry about that, Camz. We’ll work towards all of that stuff together. We’ve both got to be ready.”

“Thanks. I appreciate you going slow with me.” Camila kisses Lauren’s cheek, smiling when her girlfriend pulls her back in for an actual kiss. “This is all really new. Also really amazing, but mostly new.”

“Kaki, Lolo,” Sofi interrupts before Lauren can respond, “I got the game set up. Have a karaoke battle!”

Lauren grins at her. “I’m in if you’re in.”

Camila just smirks. “Game on, Jauregui.”

-

Once Camila manages to get Sofi into bed – the youngest Cabello insists on a bedtime story from both her and Lauren – she collapses onto the couch in Lauren’s lap. Her girlfriend’s hand weaves through her hair, but Lauren doesn’t look away from the TV.

“I told you I’d be tired from looking after Sofi.” Camila sits up and stretches. “She always wears me out after a while.”

“You’d probably be a lot less tired if you didn’t insist on doing the choreography for every single High School Musical song.” Lauren’s mouth twists up into a teasing smile and Camila laughs. “It was impressive how you came up with most of it on the spot.”

“What can I say, I’m such a professional dancer.” Camila replies. “I’m like, almost on Normani’s level.”

Lauren snorts. “Whatever helps you sleep at night, Camz.”

Camila yawns and looks towards the clock. It’s only half nine, but all of her on the spot choreography from a while ago had really tired her out. “What do you want to do now?”

“Well,” Lauren leans forwards and kisses her, “take a wild guess.”

It isn’t long before Lauren’s hands are exploring her waist and Camila’s fingers are tangled in Lauren’s hair, her girlfriend tugging her lower lip between her teeth. Little things like the background noise from the television, the hum of the dishwasher in the kitchen and the sounds of cars passing by outside are tuned out, because all Camila is focusing on is Lauren. Lauren’s soft scent of lavender, the way her hair is tickling Camila’s cheek as they kiss, and how her hands are under Camila’s shirt and her fingers are skittering across the skin of her waist.

Bravely, Camila shifts onto Lauren’s lap, relocates her lips to Lauren’s neck and sucks on her girlfriend’s pulse point, aware of how fast Lauren’s heart is beating.

“Camz…” Lauren murmurs, her fingers tracing the length of Camila’s spine, “you’re so beautiful.”

“That’s you, Lo,” Camila says as she pulls away and smiles down at her girlfriend. Her eyes widen when she notices the mark she’s left on Lauren’s neck. “Oh my god. Fuck.”

“What?” Lauren blinks at her in confusion. “What’s wrong?”

“I- um- I,” Camila swallows the lump in her throat and points to Lauren’s neck, “I gave you a _hickey_ , Lo.”

Lauren bites down on her lip and holds back what Camila thinks is a laugh. “Wait, seriously?”

Camila moves off of her girlfriend’s lap and points towards the mirror, looking anywhere but Lauren. “Yeah. Go look if you don’t believe me.”

Lauren stands up and walks over to the mirror, stopping in front of it. Camila watches as she runs her fingers over the mark, and she nearly chokes on air when Lauren turns to her with a proud smile. “Damn, Camz. Nice work.”

“I- _what_?” Camila’s eyes widen and she flushes in embarrassment. “ _Nice work_? I gave you a-”

“A hickey, yeah,” Lauren flops back down on the couch and laughs, “and you did pretty well, considering it’s the first time you’ve ever done that. I feel like a proud mom.”

“You’re… you’re _proud?_ ” Camila blinks, unable to believe what she’s hearing. “But- what if your parents see? What if _my_ parents see? God, they’ll never us share a bed again, they’ll think I’m some sort of sex crazed maniac!”

Lauren bursts out laughing. “I can easily cover it up with makeup. I've hidden plenty of hickeys before. It’s not a big deal. You gave your first hickey, relax and celebrate with a glass of champagne or something.”

“I can’t have champagne, I’m not twenty-one.” Camila reminds her, rolling her eyes when Lauren snorts. “I might go and make myself some chocolate milk, though. Want some?”

“I love how you go from freaking out about giving me a hickey, to ‘want some chocolate milk?’.” Lauren laughs. “But sure. I could go for some chocolate milk.”

Camila looks up at the clock and reaches behind Lauren to pull her hair out of the bun it’s in. “Okay, but put your hair down. It’s past ten and I don’t want my parents to come in early, see that and change their minds and make you sleep in the guest room.”

Lauren rolls her eyes, but positions her hair so it’s covering up the hickey, and then follows Camila into the kitchen. She leans against the counter and watches as Camila gets out two glasses of chocolate milk, and smiles when the younger girl passes her a glass and then grabs onto her hand.

“Come on,” Camila nods towards the stairs, “let’s go to my room. We can put Netflix on and snuggle.”

Lauren follows Camila up the stairs, and when they get into Camila’s room, she frowns. “Your room is like, tidy. Who are you and what did you do with Camila?”

Camila laughs. “I tidied it earlier. I didn’t want you to think I was a slob.”

“I already think you’re a slob.” Lauren jokes, chuckling when Camila scowls at her. “I’m kidding. But I do happen to know that you’re the messiest person I’ve ever met. This is just weird.”

“I’ll mess it up again by Monday, don’t worry about that.” Camila nods towards her closet. “I didn’t even tidy it, anyway. I just shoved everything in my closet and made my bed. The tidiness is an illusion.”

Lauren smiles and puts her glass of milk down on Camila’s bedside table. Then, she flops down on the younger Latina’s bed, gets herself comfortable under the covers and holds out her arms. “Come and cuddle me.”

Camila caves instantly, because really, how can she say no to Lauren Jauregui? Even the thought is ludicrous. She puts her chocolate milk down and lays down on the bed next to Lauren, feeling that familiar jump in her stomach when her girlfriend snuggles her face into her neck and throws a protective arm over her waist.

Camila’s arm settles around Lauren, her other hand aimlessly reaching for her TV remote to put some Netflix on. She puts on a comedy show at Lauren’s request, because apparently _Broad City_ is the best thing ever, but she doesn’t pay much attention to it at all, because she’s way too busy looking at Lauren.

She finds herself thinking about the way Lauren smiles every time something funny happens on the show, how one side of her mouth curves upwards like she’s trying to stop herself from smiling but failing completely. Her stomach flips when Lauren’s green eyes light up and her fingers unconsciously start tracing patterns against Camila’s stomach, and she’s busy taking in the intricate lines of Lauren’s dragonfly tattoo when the older Latina speaks.

“I can feel you staring at me.”

Usually, Camila would blush and blurt out apologies, but Lauren’s her girlfriend and she’s allowed to stare at her if she wants. “Well, it’s not my fault you’re beautiful. Beauty like yours needs to be appreciated.”

“Stop, you’ll make me big headed,” Lauren rolls her eyes and shifts to look up at Camila. “Seriously, you’re inflating my ego with all of these compliments.”

“Maybe that’s not such a bad thing.” Camila squeezes Lauren’s wrist. “But someone once told me that beautiful people deserve to know they’re beautiful. I bet she didn’t think I’d be using her words against her at a later date.”

Lauren laughs. “You’re too much, Camz.”

“I think you’ll find I’m just the right amount of amazingness.” Camila jokes, kissing Lauren’s temple. “But I told you last week that I’m going to remind you every single day how beautiful you are. Just in case it slips your mind or something.”

“Camila- you really don’t need to do that.” Lauren tells her, her gaze returning to the TV. “I’m not- it’s not like I’m really self-conscious or whatever. I’m just- working on things. Changing-”

“If you say the words ‘changing things’, I swear, I won’t hesitate to smack you with some sense.” Camila pokes Lauren in the side and frowns when her girlfriend shuffles uncomfortably. She reaches down and pulls her girlfriend’s hoodie up so it comes to just below her breasts, and traces patterns over Lauren’s abs. “This right here? It’s beautiful. All of you is perfect and I’m eternally jealous of your body, Lauren Michelle.”

“Don’t middle name me.” Lauren half-heartedly argues. “You’re not my mom.”

“No, but I bet if she knew how you felt about your body, she’d say the exact same thing.” Camila points out. “I think it’s wonderful. It’s all about perceptions. I remember you told me that your least favourite thing about yourself is someone else’s favourite thing.”

“Stop throwing my words back at me.” Lauren murmurs. “I don’t like it. You make it sound like I’m some wise, all knowing god or something.”

“Well, you do seem kind of Ravenclaw-ish.” Camila laughs. “I think Ravenclaws are pretty wise.”

“Actually, I’m a Slytherin,” Lauren shoots back, “so there. Don’t use my words against me.”

“I’m not using them against you,” Camila replies. “I’m using them to prove a point, because you’re right. You like things about me that I hate, and I like things about you that you hate. It’s all about perceptions and seeing yourself from somebody else’s point of view.”

Lauren completely ignores her. “What Hogwarts house are you in?”

“I- what?” Camila blinks in confusion, completely taken aback by the subject change. “Um- I took the Pottermore quiz and was sorted into Gryffindor. That means we’re supposed to be mortal enemies, right? Slytherin vs. Gryffindor.”

“I think that’s just in the case of Harry and Malfoy.” Lauren points out. “But whatever, you’d look cute in Gryffindor robes. You’d make a cute Hermione.”

Camila laughs, biting down on her lip. “Honestly, I’m kind of surprised you’re in Slytherin. You’re really smart, so I figured you’d be in Ravenclaw.”

“Slytherins are smart too.” Lauren replies. “It’s like, we’re loyal to the people we care about like Gryffindors, and we’re intelligent like Ravenclaws. We just use our intelligence differently. It’s described as being cunning and resourceful.”

“You know way too much about this.” Camila laughs and nudges her playfully. “I always knew you were a secret nerd, Jauregui.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever denied my nerd status.” Lauren argues, hiding her face in Camila’s neck. “I’m a cool nerd, though. Like, if nerds were badass. That’s me.”

“How long are you going to cling onto your delusion that you’re a badass?” Camila asks. “Because it’s kind of sad to see you in so much denial.”

Lauren snorts. “Fuck you, Camz.”

“Oh, you’d like to.” Camila retorts immediately, before she realises what she’s said and she blushes. “Sorry, Lo. Didn’t mean-”

“I’m not some horny teenage boy. I can tell when you’re joking.” Lauren nudges her. “You’re not wrong, though.”

“ _Lauren_ ,” Camila scolds her, but the smile on her face mitigates the effect. “Shut up and go to sleep.”

“I’m not tired though. And I want to watch _Broad City_.” Lauren nods towards the TV. “Maybe you’re the one who should shut up. I’m trying to watch a show.”

Camila rolls her eyes, but doesn’t reply. Instead, she relaxes and traces over Lauren’s dragonfly tattoo until she feels her eyelids start to get heavy. She’s on the brink of falling asleep when her bedroom door opens.

“Karla,” Sinu murmurs, “are you awake?”

“Yeah,” Camila shifts and feels Lauren’s grip on her tighten, as if she thinks she’s going to move away from her. “How was the dinner?”

“It was lovely.” Sinu replies. “How was Sofi? Was she good for you?”

“She was really great,” Lauren replies, and Camila is a little surprised that she’s still awake. “She’s a really good kid.”

“Yeah, she really enjoyed watching me and Lo recreate the dramatic Troy and Gabriella duets.” Camila laughs. “Plus my on the spot choreography was a big hit.”

Sinu laughs. “It sounds like you had a lot of fun. Your papi and I are going to bed. I’ll wake you two up in the morning. What time do you need to be home, Lauren?”

“Whenever Camila wants me out of her hair,” Lauren turns to her with a grin, “what time will you want me gone?”

Camila shakes her head. “Don’t ask me that. You’ll end up staying here forever.”

“I’m not opposed to that.” Lauren squeezes Camila’s hand. “I’ll probably head out around dinner time.”

“Will you be staying for dinner?” Sinu asks. “Because we’d like to get to know Karla’s first girlfriend.”

Lauren laughs. “If it’s okay with you, I’ll stay.”

“It’s not okay with me,” Camila is quick to answer, “Actually, it’s-”

“I wasn’t talking to you, Camz.” Lauren rolls her eyes and sends her a teasing smile, and Camila doesn’t know if she wants to kiss her or slap her. “I was asking your mom. I don’t want to intrude or anything.”

“That’d be wonderful,” Sinu smiles and then turns to Camila. “We’d want her over to dinner anyway, Karla. There’s no point in you trying to delay it. Your girlfriend’s got to meet your family.”

“You’ve met her already!” Camila argues, pointing to Lauren. “See? This is Lauren, she’s my girlfriend, and you’ve met like four times already.”

Sinu laughs. “Goodnight, Karla.”

Once the bedroom door is closed again, Camila sighs and snuggles up to Lauren. “You still have to invite me to your family night. Remember that.”

“I won’t forget, because unlike _you_ , I actually want my family to meet my girlfriend.” Lauren replies. “It’s not like it’ll be hard, anyway. My family already like you, so you’re already doing better than all of the other people I’ve dated. My parents _hated_ Luis.”

“Yeah, but they met me as a friend first.” Camila reminds her. “What if they suddenly decide they hate me when they realise we’re together?”

“They already know we’re together.” Lauren laughs. “Plus, my mom knew I liked you when you met her for the first time, and she told me after you’d left that she thought you’d be a good girlfriend. She said you seemed like you’d treat me right. And you do. Also, my entire family thought we were dating anyway. Chris told me he was shocked when you said we were just friends.”

“Well, whatever,” Camila sighs, “I’m still nervous. I just want your family to be happy you’re dating me. I mean, not going to lie, I can see why they hated Luis, because I hated him just by looking at a picture, but-”

“Actually, you hated him because you looked at a picture and got _jealous_ ,” Lauren teases her, “but they thought he was a jerk. They were right. _You_ on the other hand, they think is wonderful. I do too.”

“Fine,” Camila rolls her eyes. “Maybe I was jealous that Luis got to date you for like, nearly a year, and he didn’t even appreciate you. Because he didn’t deserve you. God, I know you’re probably over it by now, but I want to punch him for cheating on you. Nobody should- _ugh_ , he seems like such a dick. This is why I don’t date guys.”

Lauren raises an eyebrow. “Are you done with your rant now?”

“No, because I want to punch him,” Camila huffs and rests her head on Lauren’s shoulder. “Why did you date him if everyone thought he was a jerk?”

“Because I thought he wasn’t.” Lauren shrugs. “We all make bad choices. Good thing I’m not making any now.”

Camila smiles and kisses her girlfriend’s cheek. “Well, I’m honoured to be your first good choice, then.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for body dysmorphia.

“Do you want to come to a party with me?”

Camila nearly jumps out of her skin when her bedroom door bursts open and Lauren walks in. “What?”

“I _said,”_ Lauren flops down onto Camila’s bed and grabs her hand, “do you want to come to a party with me?”

“No thanks,” Camila quickly dismisses that idea, “I’m not a fan of parties.”

“Yeah, but you’re a fan of _me_ ,” Lauren shoots back with a teasing smile, and Camila can’t really disagree with her, “so you should come with me. I won’t get drunk if you’re there.”

“It’s not the idea of drunk Lauren that’s putting me off. I happen to like her a lot.” Camila replies. “I just don’t like parties. I’d rather stay here. You go have fun though.”

Lauren hums in thought and sits up. “Alright, I didn’t want to have to do this, but Lucy’s going to be there. You know, my ex fuck buddy.”

“Please don’t use the phrase ‘fuck buddy’ ever again,” Camila responds with a sigh. “Besides, that isn’t going to work. I trust you, Lo. If you want to go to a party with your ex… special friend, then go for it. Call me if you need me.”

“Damn you,” Lauren scowls, “I really thought that’d work. I just want you to come to a party with me. Only for an hour.”

Camila shrugs. “Like I said, I’m not a party person.”

“You’re lame, Camz,” Lauren shuffles up to her and rests her head on Camila’s shoulder. “You’re lucky I already like you too much to break up with you for your lameness.”

“You’d really break up with me for not coming with you?” Camila’s eyes widen and she closes the book in her hand. “Okay. I’ll come, then.”

Lauren blinks in confusion. “I was joking. Of course I wouldn’t break up with you for that. I wouldn’t break up with you for anything, really. Unless you turned out to be a serial killer or something.”

“Good thing I’m not, then,” Camila relaxes and she pulls Lauren in for a kiss. “Have fun at your party, Lo. Like I said, call if you need me.”

“I need you right now,” Lauren easily replies, “I need you to go to a party with me.”

“And I need _you_ to stop asking me that.” Camila shoots back with a teasing smile. “I wouldn’t be fun as a party date. You’d probably end up bored and I don’t want to ruin your night.”

Lauren laughs. “If I’m bored, I’ll get drunk. Or high. Come on, you’ve never met high Lauren before. That’ll be a treat for you.”

Camila rolls her eyes. “I’m sure all of the intoxicated Laurens are pretty much the same – cute as hell and make no sense.”

“Actually, drunk Lauren is always incredibly motivated to do things lie climb Mount fucking Everest or something.” Lauren corrects her. “And high Lauren generally just wants to take a nap. So there. Different.”

“Well, whatever,” Camila shrugs. “High slash drunk Lauren can call if she needs me later.”

“Camz. Please.” Lauren pouts and curls up next to her, and Camila feels her resolve start to crack, because _damn_ , Lauren is way too cute. “I’ll buy you ice cream if you come. That’s a good incentive.”

Camila laughs and shakes her head. “Nope. I’d rather stay here and read my book.”

Lauren lets out a loud, overdramatic sigh and sits up. “God, this is so _sad_. Wait until I tell my friends that my own _girlfriend_ won’t even come on a date with me. That’s just depressing. I guess I’ll go and drown my sorrows in a bottle of wine.”

“You’re an idiot, Lo,” Camila rolls her eyes and kisses her girlfriend’s cheek. “If it really means that much to you, I’ll come. But _only_ if you promise not to do what Dinah did at the last party I was dragged to and ditch me. Granted, she ditched me for a guy, and I don’t think you’d do that since we’re together and all, but-”

“I wouldn’t ditch you. I wouldn’t make you come if was planning on ditching you.” Lauren points out, and Camila has to admit that she has a good point. “I just want to take my girlfriend to a party and make her meet my friends.”

“Your friends?” Camila frowns to herself. “You have other friends?”

Lauren laughs. “Mostly just Lucy. But still. She has a few friends I’m acquainted with, and using the plural rather than saying ‘come and meet Lucy’ makes me sound super popular and cool.”

Camila snorts. “You’re in no way _cool_. Sorry to break it to you, Lo, but you’re about as cool as I am.”

“I happen to think you’re very cool, so my coolness is still intact.” Lauren shoots back and grabs onto her hand. “Come on then. Let’s go.”

“I’m in _sweatpants_.” Camila points out as she pulls back the cover of her bed to reveal that she’s actually in pyjamas. “I’m not coming to a party in my pyjamas. Give me a minute to change.”

Lauren motions ahead of her. “Go on then. I’ll wait here.”

“I like how you don’t even offer to leave the room.” Camila says as she opens up her wardrobe, glancing over at the rather large pile of discarded clothes on her bedroom floor. “It’s not like I need to change clothes or anything.”

“You’ve seen me change clothes before.” Lauren points out, and Camila thinks back to the time Lauren was drunk and had gotten into her pyjamas in front of her. “But I’ll leave if you want.”

“I didn’t even realise you remembered that.” Camila replies. “You _were_ kind of drunk out of your mind.”

“I remember a lot from that night.” Lauren elusively announces, and Camila isn’t sure how she feels about that. “I remember you telling me that you don’t think you ever stopped liking me. That was a great ego booster.”

Camila rolls her eyes. “Two things. One – I’m allowed to boost your ego all I want. You’re my girlfriend and you deserve to know you’re damn amazing. Two – I definitely didn’t like you for like… two minutes at the start of our friendship. That was a great two minutes. So little stress.”

“Just hurry up and get changed.” Lauren orders as Camila picks out a flannel shirt from her closet. “I promised Lucy we’d meet her.”

“Is it Lucy’s party?” Camila gets changed as quickly as she can, fully aware of Lauren’s intimidating emerald eyes burning holes in the back of her head. “Or someone else’s?”

“Someone else’s. Lucy just invited me, and then I invited you.” Lauren explains, standing up from Camila’s bed and walking over to kiss her. “You look beautiful. Let’s go.”

“I have to put my makeup on.” Camila nods over to her makeup bag. “I don’t want to go like this, I look like a twelve year old without makeup on, and you’re over here looking like some sort of goddess.”

“Fine, I’ll take my makeup off in the car if that’ll make you happy.” Lauren smiles. “Then we’ll both look like we’re twelve.”

Camila snorts. “You still look your age without your makeup.”

“I guess that’s just good genes then, isn’t it?” Lauren shrugs, and before Camila can protest, she’s pulling her out of the door and down the stairs. “We don’t want to be late. Let’s go.”

“Oh, great, people are really going to be wondering why your date is twelve.” Camila says as Lauren drags her towards her car. “You could’ve at least let me put a little mascara on.”

“You’re beautiful either way, Camzi. Whether you think you look twelve or not.” Lauren buckles her in the passenger seat – probably to make sure Camila won’t run back upstairs for her makeup – and then gets in the driver’s side. “I’m sure most people will be wondering why _I’m_ with you. Not the other way around.”

Camila frowns, because that sounded a whole lot like a self-deprecating comment. So, she decides to turn it around. “Even I wonder why you’re with me. You’re like a goddess.”

“Look, I know you’ve got this whole mission to prove to me that I’m not fat or whatever, but you can stop. I know I'm not thin and I’m working on being healthy. It’s fine. Don’t waste your breath, Camz.” Lauren tells her. “Stop telling me all of these lies and-”

“They’re not lies.” Camila interrupts her. “The things you’re saying are the lies. Honestly, Lo, look in a mirror or something.”

“You think I don’t?” Lauren snaps at her. “I do that every single fucking day, and nothing changes. So just drop it. _God_ , I wish I’d never told you.”

To avoid an argument, Camila actually listens to her. “Fine. I’ll drop it. I guess I’ll just have to wait until you see yourself through my eyes.”

“Look, I’m sorry for snapping, okay?” Lauren apologises. “But it’s something I don’t want to think about. Not when I’m supposed to be having a fun night out with my girlfriend.”

“You can always tell me anything, Lo.” Camila brushes her girlfriend off. “I just- I want you to be happy with yourself.”

Lauren shrugs. “It’s whatever. We can’t all have what we want, I guess.”

Camila sighs, but doesn’t bother arguing, because she knows that it’ll just ruin her girlfriend’s good mood, and the last thing she wants is a pissed off Lauren. Lauren’s bad moods always end up with Camila being upset too.

She decides to focus on the Lana Del Rey song playing through the radio, and while she doesn’t know the words, she finds herself more and more relaxed when Lauren sings along.

“I love it when you do that.” Camila finally breaks the silence as they pull up outside a house that’s evidently the party’s location, judging by the amount of cars parked around and the loud music. “Sing along to the radio, I mean. You’re- um, I love it when you sing.”

Lauren hums. “I’ve heard you can sing.”

“I- _what_?” Camila blinks in confusion. “Who did you hear that from?”

“Dinah. She said you two were painting each other’s nails one night and you were singing while doing it.” Lauren says, and Camila makes a mental note to smack Dinah for telling Lauren that. “And she also said you happen to be really good.”

“I mean… I guess I’m okay.” Camila shrugs. “It’s more mediocre than anything. Not like you.”

Lauren raises an eyebrow as she gets out of the car. “I bet that’s your anxiety talking, right? You should sing for me sometime. Even if it’s just you singing along to a song on the radio. I won’t mind if it’s not Grammy worthy.”

Camila’s still uncertain. “I don’t know. I’ll have to think about it.”

“You play guitar too.” Lauren adds, and Camila has no idea how Dinah told Lauren that, because she didn’t think she knew. “Dinah didn’t tell me about that. I saw the acoustic guitar in the corner of your room earlier, and I’m guessing it’s not a decoration. I think you mentioned you play, too. You should play and sing for me. Girls who are musicians are kind of a turn on for me.”

“Correction – girls who are _good_ musicians.” Camila says, grabbing onto Lauren’s arm as she walks her into the party. “I don’t know if I’m that good.”

“I guess I’ll be the judge of that then, won’t I?” Lauren puts a hand on the small of her back and guides her through the crowded room – the amount of people is making her kind of nervous, since she’d thought it’d just be a small get-together. And big crowds are never good for her anxiety. “Come on. Let’s go meet Lucy.”

Camila makes sure to keep hold of Lauren, because the last thing she wants to do is get separated in a huge party like the one they’re in. That definitely wouldn’t be good. “Are you sure she’s okay with me coming? She was one of your old friends after all…”

“Oh, yeah the girl I lost my virginity to is totally going to bully you for being gay.” Lauren rolls her eyes. “Come _on_ , Camz. I’ve changed and so has she.”

Camila sighs. “Look, I know that. I just… I worry, and I can’t-”

“You can’t help it.” Lauren interrupts. “And I get that. It’ll be okay, I won’t leave you at all. Unless you want me to.”

“Okay.” Camila squeezes her hand. “Can you get me a drink? I’m really thirsty. I’ll come with you, though. I don’t want to-”

“Hey, Laur,” Camila is interrupted by a very drunk girl launching herself on Lauren. “Oh my god, is this your girlfriend? _Karla_ , right? I know you. You’re gay. I’m Lucy.”

“Camz,” Lauren peels Lucy off her and laughs, “This would be a very drunk Lucy. Lucy, this is Camila. She’s my girlfriend. And yes, her first name _is_ Karla. But she doesn’t use it.”

Camila is shocked when Lucy pulls her in for a hug. “Hi, Karla Camila. Listen, everything you two do in bed - I taught Laur everything she knows. Also, she likes being called babygirl – like, she has boots that say it and everything – like honestly, girl loves to be fucking dominated. You can thank me later.”

Camila nearly chokes on air, and a red faced Lauren grabs Lucy and turns her around. “Look over there. Your friends. Go talk to them and stop embarrassing me.”

As Lucy staggers away, Camila turns to a suddenly very quiet Lauren. “So… dominated, huh?”

“Don’t,” Lauren shoves her and pulls her towards the kitchen. “Just- um, ignore her. She was spouting drunk bullshit.”

“Alright, fine. I’ll ignore her.” Camila says as Lauren pours something into a cup for her. “ _Babygirl_.”

Lauren turns bright red and downs the contents of her drink, passing Camila something else. “You’re so annoying.”

“Damn, babygirl, what’re you talking about? I’m the _least_ annoying person on the planet. You’re lucky to have someone as lovely as me.” Camila teases her, taking a small sip of the drink Lauren had given her. It doesn’t taste like it has alcohol in it, so she drinks a little bit more. “Seriously though, Lo. I didn’t think you’d be a bottom.”

“I’m not- _ugh_ ,” Lauren rolls her eyes and gets another drink. “Can we not talk about this here?”

“Honestly, I might go and find Lucy again. See if there’s any other pet names you like.” Camila makes like she’s about to head into the other room and laughs when Lauren grabs onto her arm and pulls her back. “What? Don’t you _want_ me to make you happy when we finally get round to all of that, babygirl?”

“ _Stop_ ,” Lauren half-heartedly replies, her cheeks as red as Camila’s flannel shirt. “You’re- it’s not funny.”

“I like how you’re not even denying it, though.” Camila laughs and drains her drink, passing her empty cup back to Lauren. “Like… are you actually- do you genuinely like that? Or was Lucy just trying to embarrass you and/or make me mess up when we actually… um… do that?”

“I- um,” Lauren lets out an awkward cough and looks towards the door. “Let’s go sit down or something.”

Camila blinks in confusion, her eyes widening. “Oh my god, you actually do.”

“Look, just,” Lauren looks anywhere but Camila as she gives her another drink, “drop it, okay? Forget she said anything.”

“Okay, babygirl,” Camila kisses Lauren just under her ear, and she swears she sees her girlfriend gulp and bite down on her bottom lip. “I’ll forget about it.”

With that, she finishes off the rest of her drink and tugs Lauren towards the rest of the party, actually kind of glad she decided to come.

-

Camila ends up drunk.

Yeah, turns out Lauren had been giving her alcohol the whole time and she just hadn’t realised, but by the point she realises she’s drunk, it’s too late. So, she asks Lauren to take her back to her house, because she knows her parents will flip if she comes home drunk.

As Lauren helps her into the car, Camila laughs at her again. “Oh my god, Lo, I really want to see those boots Lucy told me about. The ones that say babygirl on them.”

“Haven’t you forgotten about that with all the alcohol?” Lauren moves around the side of the car and gets into the driver’s side. “Hopefully sober you will have forgotten.”

“Why?” Camila snorts as Lauren starts the car. “Like, I’m your girlfriend and now I know that you want me to _dominate you_.”

“Don’t say it like that.” Lauren reaches over and squeezes her hand before returning her hand to the wheel. “Just- can we not talk about it? It’s kind of embarrassing.”

Camila positively cackles. “I bet you’ll call me Daddy or something, won’t you?”

“Okay, no, not into that.” Lauren quickly replies. “But please drop the whole babygirl thing. _Please_.”

Camila frowns to herself. “But you like it. And I want you to like me. I want our first time together to be good, you know?”

“I know you do, but it’s just-” Lauren cuts herself off with a sigh. “It’s _you_ , Camz. You’re my dorky, trips-over-air, weird ass girlfriend. I just can’t imagine you, uh, calling me that. That’s why I didn’t tell you.”

Camila grins. “Me calling you _what_?”

Lauren rolls her eyes. “You- um, calling me babygirl.”

“Yeah. Because you like it, don’t you?” Camila giggles and claps her hands in front of her. “ _God_ , Lo, you spend like ninety percent of your life pretending to be all cool and badass but you literally want me to call you babygirl. That’s too funny.”

“I, uh, I also like princess.” Lauren bites down on her bottom lip. “But don’t repeat that to anyone.”

If it’s possible, Camila laughs even harder. “Oh my god. Hilarious.”

“What? You wanted me to be… open. So I’m doing it.” Lauren says, and Camila can tell she’s trying her hardest to be unembarrassed about the whole thing. It just isn’t really working very well. “But if you tell _anyone_ -”

“What will you do, _babygirl_?” Camila teases her. “I’ll never be able to find you intimidating again.”

Lauren sighs. “You’re a jerk.”

“But you love me.” Camila blurts out, not realising what she’s said. She doesn’t hear what Lauren mumbles in reply, either.

“Have you told your mom you’re staying at mine tonight?” Lauren asks, deciding that it’d be best to change the subject. “I don’t want her to worry about you.”

“Yeah, I texted her.” Camila dismisses her girlfriend. “I think I’ll call you babygirl from now on. In front of everyone, so they all know you’re mine.”

Lauren snorts. “Or we could not do that and let everyone believe that I’m the top in this relationship.”

“Lauren Michelle Jauregui Morgado, you are not a top.” Camila laughs at the thought. “Maybe when I first met you I would’ve thought that, but even after getting to know you as a friend I realised how unintimidating you are. Like, you literally always ask for cuddles and you like to be the little spoon. God, I should’ve seen this coming.”

“I don’t think I like drunk Camila.” Lauren says. “Maybe she’ll have to go back to her own house after all.”

“You _wouldn’t_. My mom would kill me if she knew I’d been drinking.” Camila laughs. “And you don’t want a dead girlfriend, do you? That’d suck for you. There’d be nobody to call you babygirl.”

“Okay, stop teasing,” Lauren rolls her eyes. “And get out of the car. We’re here.”

“Okay,” Camila nearly falls out of the car door, and Lauren is quick to catch her. “Oh, my hero. Thanks, babygirl. Let’s go and snuggle now.”

Lauren takes her by the hand, and choosing not to comment on Camila’s choice of nickname, helps her inside. At the sound of staggering and laughter, apparently Clara decides she should come out of the lounge and see what the hell is going on.

“Hi, Mrs Lauren,” Camila beams at her, “oh, wait, I mean Clara. Sorry.”

“Camz is drunk,” Lauren explains, “so if she says anything weird, she’s not thinking clearly.”

Camila laughs, “Lauren likes to be called-”

Naturally, Lauren puts a hand over her mouth, not even flinching when Camila licks it in an effort to make her move it away. “I’m going to take her upstairs and put her to bed.”

“I don’t want to go to bed, Lo,” Camila pouts and jumps on her girlfriend, giving her a koala hug. “I want to watch movies.”

“Well, I’ll put a movie on for you.” Lauren laughs as Camila kisses her. “I’ll go upstairs and get you some pyjamas. Wait here and we can go into the lounge and pick out a DVD.”

“Okay,” Camila watches as Lauren disappears up the stairs, and turns to Clara with a smile. “She’s so thoughtful.”

Clara laughs at her. “You’re going to be very hungover tomorrow.”

Ignoring Clara’s words, Camila continues. “She’s like, perfect in basically every way, but she doesn’t even see it. She told me she thinks she’s fat, which is dumb as hell, because have you seen her? She has _curves_. But she won’t listen to me.”

Clara looks at her in shock. “She told you about that?”

“Yes,” Camila nods. “She says she trusts me. But then she won’t believe me when I tell her she’s beautiful.”

“Oh, Camila,” Clara sighs and looks towards the stairs. “You probably won’t remember this when you wake up, but Lauren- she has body dysmorphic disorder. She doesn’t see herself like you do. She looks in the mirror and sees something completely different.”

Camila blinks in confusion. “What? She doesn’t- she doesn’t know… that’s so-”

“Hey, Camz,” Lauren jumps off the last few steps and comes to a stop next to her. “Let’s go pick a movie. Mom, why are you still here? She’s not going answer any of your weird girlfriend interrogation questions in this state.”

With that, Lauren tugs a very confused Camila into lounge and towards the DVD drawer, the younger girl’s mood significantly lower than it was before.


	16. Chapter 16

Camila wakes up with the worst headache of her life.

Naturally, when she wakes up, she lets out a loud groan that’s followed by a disembodied laugh. And then, a familiar raspy voice speaks up. “Hungover, much?”

Camila opens her eyes to glare at Lauren. “You did this to me. If I hadn’t gone to that party, I wouldn’t be hungover right now.”

Lauren snorts. “Yeah, sure, blame me. Let’s not forget that you were the one to keep asking me to get you more drinks. I was just being a good girlfriend and making you happy.”

“Ugh,” Camila sits up and cringes at the light of Lauren’s lamp, and the older girl seems to get the message and turns it off. “I’m never touching alcohol again.”

“Good, because drunk Camila is an annoying little bitch,” Lauren gives her a light shove. “It was like she’s some sort of sadist. She really enjoyed annoying me.”

Camila tries to think back through the previous night, and her mouth forms a smirk when she remembers something. “That wasn’t me trying to annoy you. That was just me showing you how much I appreciate you, _babygirl_.”

Lauren winces. “I was hoping you’d forget about that.”

“I remember bits and pieces, if I really try to.” Camila replies. “I remember forcing you to watch High School Musical with me and I think I tried kicking your parents out of the living room? Oh, god, they’re going to hate me-”

“Relax, Camz,” Lauren interrupts her, “I already talked to them and they thought it was funny. They actually kind of appreciated the early night. What else do you remember?”

“Um,” Camila pauses to think, going through Lauren driving them home, speaking to Clara and- oh, _fuck_. Clara had told her that Lauren has body dysmorphic disorder, and she knows for a fact that her girlfriend doesn’t want her to know that. Lauren’s so closed off that she’d flip if she knew. “No. Not much.”

Lauren raises her eyebrows. “Why did you look like you’d remembered something, then?”

“I, uh,” Camila shrugs as casually as she can, “I didn’t think that it’s something you’d want me to know.”

Lauren frowns. “I don’t think I told you anything _too_ bad. What was it?”

“Um,” Camila tries her hardest to think of something else, _anything_ else, and is entirely too relieved when she remembers something else from their car ride home. “You said you also- um, like to be called _princess_.”

Again, Lauren cringes. “Um… yeah, I was kind of hoping you’d forget about all of that. You were kind of drunk out of your mind. I only told you because you were rambling about how you wanted to be a good girlfriend or something and I felt bad.”

“Lo,” Camila grabs her girlfriend’s hand and curls up to her, pulling the sheets over them both, “it’s not- I won’t make fun of you for it or anything-”

“ _Yeah_ , sure,” Lauren rolls her eyes, “You were having so much fun doing exactly that last night.”

“That was just drunk me being stupid,” Camila assures her, “while I do still find it pretty funny that the girl who walks around insisting she’s badass all the time likes to be called babygirl and princess, I won’t mock you for it. Sober, anyway. And if you want me to just… metaphorically forget it, I will.”

“Okay,” Lauren nods to herself. “Alright. I trust you. Don’t tell anyone though, or I’ll mess you up.”

“Sure, _princess_ ,” Camila teases her, and when Lauren sends her a stern look, she holds her hands up in defence. “That was the last time. Promise.”

“It better be.” Lauren grumbles as she cuddles up to Camila. “Because I _will_ mess you up, Cabello. Just you wait.”

Camila has to bite her tongue and stop herself from retorting. “Sure. Whatever. I’ll forget the babygirl and princess thing so you don’t _mess me up_.”

“I never said I wanted you to forget it,” Lauren is quick to reply and shock Camila entirely. “I just said I wanted you to stop making fun of it. I still want you to call me it, just not around other people and not sarcastically.”

Camila blinks in surprise. “Oh, okay. You actually- um, _wow_ ….”

“What?” Lauren raises her eyebrows. “You expected me to make you stop? There’s no point now. You know I like it so… might as well own it, right?”

“I- uh, I guess that’s good logic.” Camila hums in thought. “Okay, sure. Um- can I ask you a few things, though?”

“Sure,” Lauren shrugs. “Like what?”

“Which do you prefer?” Camila asks, feeling incredibly awkward. “Babygirl or, uh, princess.”

Lauren laughs, apparently sensing her awkwardness. “Both. Don’t have a preference. It’s not something I like as a nickname in casual conversation, though. I only really like them if I’m making out with someone or doing… other stuff. Or, uh, it can be kind of like a comfort thing, if I'm upset.”

“Okay. Alright.” Camila nods to herself. “I’ll keep that in mind, then.”

“And you’re not allowed to tell anyone you top,” Lauren pokes her in the arm, “because then I’d have to kill you. And them. Can’t have anything ruining my badass rep, you know?”

Camila snorts. “For the last time, you’re not a badass. You’re a _puppy_.”

“I’m not a damn puppy,” Lauren gives her a playful shove. “If anything, I’m like… some kind of terrifying Rottweiler or-”

“You’re a Chihuahua.” Camila interrupts with a teasing grin. “Whose bark is bigger than her bite.”

“You’ll get the full extent of my bite if you keep annoying me.” Lauren laughs and pulls Camila closer to her. Contrary to her word, Lauren starts playing with Camila’s hair, one arm protectively across her waist. “I mean it, Camz. Don’t mess with me. I’m all kinds of badass.”

“Whatever, _princess_ ,” Camila rolls her eyes, but when Lauren falls quiet, she realises what she’s done. “Fuck. Last time, I promise. No more teasing, I swear.”

“You swore that five minutes ago,” Lauren points out, “if you think it’s dumb then we can just forget it. I don’t care.”

“I don’t think it’s dumb,” Camila is quick to assure her, “I want to- um, make you feel good. So if you like it then… I want to do it. And you _do_ care, Lo. I know you pretend not to care about a lot of things, but you do. I know you.”

“Whatever,” Lauren shrugs and rolls over. “Go back to sleep. I’m going to go downstairs.”

Camila rolls her eyes. “Why do you always do this?”

“Do what?” Lauren pauses and sits up. “I’m not doing anything.”

“Every time I try to have an actual conversation with you like _adults_ , you just go all cold on me. It happened on our not-date and it’s happening now.” Camila points out, noting how Lauren looks anywhere but at her. “Why do you do that? Why are you so damn closed off all the time?”

“It’s none of your fucking business.” Lauren snaps at her, and Camila sighs, because she should’ve known that this is the response she’d get. “None of this is any of your business. You don’t even know me, Camila.”

“I’m your _girlfriend_.” Camila retorts. “Of course I know you. You’re supposed to trust me and be open with me and-”

“Maybe I don’t fucking want to. Did you ever think about that?” Lauren stands up and turns towards the door. “Get dressed and my mom will take you home. I don’t want to talk to you right now.”

“Why don’t you fucking trust me, Lauren?” Camila grabs her by the arm and stops her from leaving. “I haven’t done anything to make you feel like you can’t. Relationships don’t work without trust, and-”

“Then maybe we shouldn’t be in one…” Lauren mutters to herself. “Look, I don’t trust people and you need to respect that and back off when I tell you.”

“No, what did you say? Under your breath.” Camila blinks at her, hoping to god she imagined it. “You said that we shouldn’t be in a relationship. Is that why you don’t trust me? Is this all just pity?”

“Of course it wasn’t,” Lauren rolls her eyes, “I just need some time alone. Get dressed and go home, Camila.”

“I don’t even know what I did,” Camila persists, sighing when Lauren breaks free of her grip and stalks towards the door. “God, it’s like you’re fucking bipolar or something.”

“What the fuck did you just say to me?” Lauren turns around and glares at her. “What did my mom tell you? _Answer me_.”

“What? You’re not actually bipolar. It’s just an expression.” At Lauren’s silence, Camila’s eyes widen. “Oh my god. You are. That’s why you’re so- oh my god, Lo, I didn’t know. I’m so sorry, I-”

“Don’t.” Lauren shakes her head. “Just don’t. Get out and don’t- just don’t talk to me, okay? I’m done. This is done.”

“This _isn’t_ done,” Camila snaps, standing up and grabbing Lauren before she can leave the room. “Lo, I care about you so fucking much and even though you’re kind of… _frustrating_ at times, doesn’t mean I want this to end. I’ve had a crush on you since sixth grade. You’re not leaving me now.”

“Why the fuck do you even care?” Lauren sighs and sits down on her bed. “I’m a fucking mess.”

“You’re my mess,” Camila pulls her in for a hug. “I care because… because you’re mine to care about. I didn’t know you were bipolar, Lo. Honestly. I just- um, your mom did tell me something though. She said that you have… you have body dysmorphic disorder. That’s why you’re so insecure and-”

“She shouldn’t have told you that.” Lauren interrupts. “Just pretend she didn’t. I don’t need your pity.”

“It’s not _pity_ ,” Camila insists, “I care about you so fucking much, Lauren. More than you seem to care about yourself. I just wish you’d open up to me. I’m not going to go around with a megaphone screaming that you’ve got some issues, because everyone has.”

Lauren rolls her eyes. “ _Some_ is an understatement.”

“Yeah, well, I have anxiety, Lo,” Camila points out, “you’re bipolar, along with other things. We can work through that stuff together as long as we support each other. Please open up to me? Even if it’s just a little bit.”

Lauren stays silent as Camila pulls her back onto the bed and into her lap. And yeah, while Camila has absolutely no idea what she’s doing right now, Lauren seems to be a little comforted.

“I’m on meds for it.” Lauren says, taking Camila completely off guard. “For bipolar disorder. I was diagnosed two years ago. The other thing… I don’t even _have_ that. My mom is just being dumb, same with the doctors. I’m _fine_. Everyone is insecure and it’s no big deal. But the bipolar thing, sometimes I forget to take my medication. It’s not- lately I haven’t. I thought I was getting better.”

Camila runs her fingers through Lauren’s hair. “It’s okay. Just- set a reminder, or something? Or I’ll text you, if you want. Just _please_ don’t try to run out on me again.”

“I won’t. I didn’t even mean that.” Lauren looks up at her and kisses her cheek. “Promise. I just got so angry and said things without thinking. I’d never leave you, Camz. Not unless you made me.”

“Guess you’re never leaving me, then,” Camila laughs, “but on a more serious note, do you have anyone you talk to about these things? Like your family, or one of our friends? Or Lucy?”

Lauren shakes her head. “My mom and dad always ask me how I am, but I don’t want them to worry so I say what they want to hear. Mani, Ally and Dinah don’t know. Lucy’s oblivious to basically everything but I think I’ve told her a few things last time we smoked together.”

Camila blinks in surprise. “You told me you didn’t smoke.”

“I told you I don’t smoke _cigarettes_. Which I don’t, cigarettes are fucking disgusting.” Lauren tells her. “I meant weed, Camz. Whenever Lucy and I hang out we tend to get high together. And I’ve probably told her some things but she brushes that stuff off.”

Camila rolls her eyes. “Well, whatever. Maybe I should get you high if it means you’ll open up to me.”

“Look, I know I’m kind of closed off,” Lauren starts, and Camila wants to laugh, because _kind of_ is an understatement, “but it’s better that way. I don’t want to worry people with things that are unnecessary. Like you, you have enough to deal with, considering you have anxiety, and I don’t want to make that worse.”

“Not telling me makes it worse,” Camila says, “because it leaves me to overthink and then I jump straight to the worst case scenario. I was so worried about the way you see yourself and I thought that maybe you’d try to go to some extremes-”

“I nearly did,” Lauren admits, “when I was fifteen. That was when I gained a lot of weight, and at first I didn’t care, because I’m good at not caring. But then I started to care, and I’d compare myself to Dinah, Ally and Mani, because they’re all fucking perfect and they all look so good in swimsuits and I started to hate myself so much. I’d compare myself to everyone and it was the worst thing in the world because I knew that I was nothing compared to them-”

“You’re not nothing,” Camila interrupts her, kissing along Lauren’s jawline, “honestly, babygirl, you’re a _goddess_.”

Lauren seems to disregard her words, other than her cheeks turning a slight pink. “I considered starving myself. Never did. But I thought about it a lot. By that point my mom had caught onto how I felt and was watching me like a fucking hawk, so… I didn’t. Mostly because I knew it’d hurt her if it got out of hand.”

Camila holds Lauren as close as she can. “How did she catch on?”

“I told one too many self-deprecating jokes, I think,” Lauren shrugs, “also, there was an incident when we were on vacation to do with a swimsuit and- yeah. She asked me about it then. Of course, I’d mentioned that I didn’t feel good about myself before, but she’d brushed me off. I think that was when she realised it was serious.”

Camila kisses Lauren’s cheek. “Tell me what happened. If that’s okay.”

“It’s going to sound so dumb to you,” Lauren starts, “but like I said, we were on vacation in Spain and we were at this waterpark for the day. I was fifteen, and at the height of all of my- uh, pudginess.”

Camila sighs. “You’re not _pudgy_ , Lo. You’ve never been pudgy.”

“Yeah, let’s not forget that you moved away for like, _five years_. You were here when I was a fucking stick, and you came back after I started doing sports again. I’ll gladly show you some fucking pictures if you want.” Lauren snaps. “But we’re not talking about that right now. We were at the waterpark, and all I had was this one swimsuit that I hadn’t worn in forever, and naturally, it didn’t fit. But I wouldn’t let it not fit. I had to go ahead and force myself into it, and it was so tight and I didn’t even stop to think that maybe it’s a bad idea and I should just tell my mom that my swimsuit didn’t fit. Anyway, I’m going to shorthand this because I don’t particularly like reliving it, so in a nutshell, my swimsuit ripped, some kids called me fat and my own _brother_ said ‘yeah, Lauren has gained a lot of weight, hasn’t she?’ and my dad didn’t even argue against him, and I went back to the hotel in tears after my mom bought some absolutely hideous swimsuit that’d actually _fit_ me and forced me to stay in the waterpark for another four fucking hours. The end.”

As Lauren tries to move away from her, Camila shakes her head and pulls her back, eventually ending up with her girlfriend laid across her lap, her head in Camila’s shoulder. “Lauren-”

“I know it sounds so ridiculous and trivial and that I should get the fuck over it,” Lauren interrupts her, her voice muffled in Camila’s shirt. “But I can’t. And it makes me feel worse about all of the shit I said to you when we were kids, because when someone makes you feel ugly and worthless it stays with you, and I hate that I made you feel ugly when you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”

“It’s not dumb, princess,” Camila says, taking note of how Lauren seems to relax at the pet name. “Your feelings are perfectly valid, and I can see why you’re still upset about it all, but you’ve never been ugly, Lauren Michelle. You never will be, either. You’re one of the most gorgeous humans on the planet, and I’m forever going to remind you of that. Whether you’re one hundred pounds or one thousand pounds.”

For once, Lauren doesn’t argue with her. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And I just- Camz, I think I love you. You don’t have to say it back if you’re not-”

“No, Lauren,” Camila interrupts her, “I love you too. So much. And it hurts me to see you putting yourself down all the time. I know that you can’t help it, but- uh, I’ll be here to help you. And to remind you to take your meds. What’re you on, if it’s okay that I ask?”

“Valproate and Zoloft.” Lauren replies. “What about you? For your anxiety, I mean.”

“Oh, uh,” Camila frowns in thought, “I have some beta blockers for the physical symptoms, but my mom won’t let me get medication for the actual mental stuff. She doesn’t think that they’ll help.”

Lauren hums in reply. “Have you tried therapy? I have. It sucks. They’re so patronising, they treat you like a fucking five year old. Like, no, I’m a cynical seventeen year old, shut the fuck up.”

“I tried it back in California.” Camila replies. “But like you said, it sucked. My mom was actually looking at therapists here, but I told her not to, because I didn’t think it helped much.”

Lauren shrugs. “If you ever need to talk… you know I’m here, right? Any time of the day. I can’t sleep a lot of the time, so… you can literally call me whenever. I’ll pick up.”

“Yeah.” Camila nods. “Same goes for you, by the way. While I’m a pro at sleeping, I’ll keep my phone on loud for you. And before you say it, you could never bother me.”

“Good.” Lauren nods and grabs Camila’s hand. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Alright,” Camila says, “I’m going to get a little bit more beauty sleep now. Mostly because my head is killing me. Cuddle me?”

Instead of responding, Lauren pulls the covers over them and kisses Camila’s cheek. “Sweet dreams, Camz.”

“If I’m not awake by three, jump on me.” Camila tells her as she cuddles up to Lauren. “Night.”

It’s not long before Camila is asleep again, but Lauren stays up, thinking over Camila’s words and trying to figure out if they’re true or not.


	17. Chapter 17

“Come over.”

“ _What_?”

“Come over,” Lauren repeats once she’s heard Camila’s less than satisfactory answer. “I need you to come over. I did a thing.”

“ _A thing_?” Camila repeats Lauren’s words, and the older girl picks up on the worry in her voice. She knows it’s dumb and that it shouldn’t annoy her, but ever since she’d opened up to Camila about things, the younger girl had been acting a lot more worriedly around her. “ _What kind of thing_? _A good thing or a bad thing?”_

“Oh, totally a bad thing, you know how impulsive I can be,” Lauren rolls her eyes, “yeah, I actually kidnapped and murdered a few people and I need help cleaning up the bodies. Bring a _lot_ of Febreze too, they’re starting to stink out my basement.”

“ _Oh, haha, very funny,”_ Camila sarcastically replies, “ _what’s the real reason you want me to come over?”_

“Well, my family are out for the day – they’re going to a waterpark and I generally avoid those since the, uh, incident – so I’m alone. And bored.” Lauren flops down on her bed and reaches underneath it to pull out the two bottles of wine she’s been keeping under there. “So you should come and get drunk with me, because getting drunk alone is kind of depressing and while I’ve been in a bit of a depressive mood for the past few weeks, I don’t think I’ve hit alcoholism yet.”

“ _I’m not getting drunk,”_ Camila says, and Lauren huffs, “ _but I’ll come and keep you company. Can’t let you get too wasted, you know? Got to look after my girl.”_

Lauren blushes and thanks the heavens that Camila isn’t in the room with her right now, because if she was, there’d definitely be some teasing. “Fine. Also, I’m making you dinner. It’s already cooking right now, so you’d better set off. Not a three course meal or anything – two courses, actually, mostly because I couldn’t be bothered with a starter.”

“ _Wait, what_?” Camila asks. “ _You cook?”_

“Of course I cook,” Lauren rolls her eyes, “my mom taught me when I was tiny. I make a mean arroz con leche. Spoilers, but that’s actually what we’re having for dessert.”

 _“Oh, wow, okay,”_ Camila replies, “ _I guess I’m coming over then. I’ll be twenty minutes, I’ll get my mom to take me because I’m guessing you want me to stay over.”_

“Wow. It’s like you read my mind. The front door will be left unlocked for you.” Lauren promises her. “And I’ll probably be in the kitchen. If not, I’ll be in the dining room or the lounge. Or my bedroom, I guess. It’s kind of like a mini game of hide and seek. How fun.”

 _“When you say things like that, I always wonder why people think you’re the intimidating one.”_ Camila laughs. “ _I’m putting you on speaker while I pack my bag and my little sister is in the room, so please refrain from cussing as much as you usually do.”_

“Me? _Cussing_?” Lauren laughs, “What an awful accusation, Camz. I’d _never_.”

“ _Sorry, have you met yourself?”_ Camila says. “ _You’re like, the queen of cussing. It’s nearly as bad as your obsession with correcting other people’s grammar.”_

“No, wait, I don’t correct grammar that much,” Lauren defends herself, “just when it really bugs me.”

“ _Yeah, tell that to all of the screenshots in the group chat of you constantly correcting Dinah’s use of your and you’re. And let’s not forget the ‘there, their and they’re’ thing.”_ Camila points out, and Lauren rolls her eyes again. Seriously, she must be hitting some kind of record for the most eye rolls in a conversation. “ _Face it, Lo. You’re like the Grammar Queen.”_

“It’s like Dinah will never learn, though,” Lauren says, heading downstairs with the wine bottles and into the kitchen. “No matter how many times I correct her or proof read her essays, she still doesn’t get it right. I’m starting to think she just does it to bug me.”

 _“She probably does_ ,” Camila agrees with her as Lauren gets out two wine glasses. She puts her girlfriend on speaker and walks over to check on the cooking. “ _Dinah’s like that sometimes. She probably Snapchats about it, too. She snaps everything.”_

“God, I know,” Lauren says, taking her phone into the dining room and setting the wine glasses out with the rest of the cutlery. “Have you set off yet?”

“ _Not yet,”_ Camila tells her, and Lauren sighs, because she probably should’ve called sooner, now that she thinks about it. “ _I’ve packed my overnight bag, though. Toothbrush, hairbrush, my clothes for tomorrow, one of your hoodies for you to wear to bed, and my own pyjamas.”_

Lauren frowns at one of the items on Camila’s list. “One of my hoodies for _me_ to wear? I have my own, perfectly good unicorn onesie, thank you.”

“ _No, you don’t,”_ Camila is quick to reply, “ _the hoodie doesn’t smell like you anymore. So you’re going to wear it and make it smell like you. Got it?”_

“Damn, okay,” Lauren says, a little surprised that her girlfriend even cares about that. “Sure.”

“ _So, what’re you making me?”_ Camila asks. “ _I’ll be very disappointed if it’s just chicken nuggets from the freezer.”_

“Please, that’s something _you’d_ make _me_. Not the other way around.” Lauren laughs and lights the candles she’d set up on the dining table, because candlelit dinners are romantic as hell, and Lauren wants nothing but the best for Camila. “Like I said before, no starters, unless you want me to make some cup-a-soup real quick. Main course is bistec empanizado, and as I have also said before, dessert is arroz con leche. I think you’ll find that it’s good enough.”

“ _Okay, I didn’t know you actually meant like, real, Cuban cooking. I just figured you’d get something out of the freezer and shove it in the oven.”_ Camila replies, and Lauren laughs at her girlfriend’s words, because that’s probably Camila’s definition of cooking. “ _I’m looking forward to hanging out with you even more now.”_

“You’d better be.” Lauren says. “I’m like, the best chef I know. Aside from my abuela, and she taught me everything I know. So I have like, at least half her skill.”

“ _My mom and I are setting off now,”_ Camila tells her, “ _Sofi’s coming in the car too, she said she wanted to see ‘Lolo’. You’re winning my sister over.”_

“Kids love me.” Lauren shrugs and goes back into the kitchen to check on the food. “Dinah’s siblings are the same. Seth even calls me Auntie Lolo.”

“ _I know, but Sofi hates literally anyone who goes near me in the romantic sense, I mean. One time a boy was flirting with me when I’d taken her to the park, and even though she knows I only like girls, she still got all defensive_.” Camila recounts, and Lauren thinks that Sofi has a point, because she’d get defensive if someone started flirting with Camila, too. _“Also, the only time a girl has ever flirted with me, she scared her off. I think it’s her fault that I’ve never had a relationship before. Definitely not how painfully awkward I am._ ”

Lauren hears Sofi shout ‘hey, not fair’ in the background and laughs. “Your sister is really cute. I’m glad she likes me. Obviously Sofi’s stamp of approval is important.”

“ _Honestly, Lo, not sure it is. Especially since I’m getting yelled at to pass the phone to her right now_.” Camila says. “ _Not happening, though. You’re my Lolo, not hers.”_

“Ooh, possessive, Cabello,” Lauren teases her, “anyway, I have to go and get a few more things sorted out before you get here. I’ll see you in fifteen?”

“ _Yeah.”_ Camila replies. “ _See you soon. Love you, Lo.”_

Lauren feels her stomach flip at Camila’s words. “Yeah. Love you too, Camz.”

With that, she hangs up and puts her phone down on the kitchen counter, turning back to the food. She’s in the middle of getting their desserts ready when she hears the front door open and Camila call out. “Lauren?”

“In the kitchen.” Lauren calls behind her, double checking their main courses and jumping in surprise when she feels someone a lot smaller than Camila grab her. “Hey, Sofi.”

“Hi, Lolo,” Sofi smiles and lets Lauren pick her up. “Can I stay with you and Kaki? _Please_? Mami is going to make me tidy my room otherwise.”

Lauren laughs and shakes her head. While usually she’d be okay with babysitting Sofi, it’d kind of ruin her plan for a romantic night in. “Nope. Sorry, Sofi. This is just a night for me and Camz. Another time, though, I promise.”

Sofi pouts, and Lauren lets her down, smiling even wider when it’s Camila who’s in her arms next. “Hey, Lo.”

“Hey, babe,” Lauren kisses her girlfriend in greeting. “Sofi wants to hang out with us tonight, but I told her it’s just a you and me kind of thing.”

“That’s what I’ve been telling her for basically the entire car ride.” Camila shoots her little sister a pointed look. “I said that Lolo would say no too. You should’ve listened to me, Sofi.”

Sofi sighs. “I still wanted to ask, though. Lolo might’ve said yes, she’s nice to me all the time. You’re mean sometimes and you won’t play with me when I want.”

“I won’t play with you because I probably have homework.” Camila laughs and picks her sister up. “Come on, back to the car. You know you’ve got to tidy your room tonight, anyway.”

As the sound of Sofi and Camila’s bickering dies down, Lauren turns back to the food, and gets two plates out, because she’s pretty much ready to serve it. When a pair of arms wrap around her waist and she turns back to see Camila, Lauren smiles and turns around to kiss her again.

“Hey,” Lauren takes Camila’s hand and leads her into the dining room, fully aware of her girlfriend’s shocked reaction of how the table is neatly set as if they’re in a restaurant. She leads Camila around to one of the seats and pulls it out for her. “You’re not allowed in the kitchen. Stay here and I’ll get the food.”

She pours her a little glass of wine and kisses her cheek, leaving her stunned girlfriend in the room so she can get their food. When she comes back with two plates of bistec empanizado, Camila finally speaks. “Lo… why’d you do all of this?”

“Because I’m romantic as fuck, that’s why,” Lauren replies, sitting across from Camila on the table and pouring herself some wine. “You deserve something nice, especially since our argument the other day, and I figured that something nice would be homemade Cuban food and a candlelit dinner.”

“You’re- this is amazing,” Camila says after a few bites of food. “Not just your cooking. All of this. You.”

Lauren blushes, but thankfully Camila doesn’t see it in the candle light. “Thanks, Camz. That makes me happy.”

Camila smiles. “Any other plans for after this, then?”

Lauren bites down on her lip, because she has a few. She’s just not sure Camila would be fully comfortable with one of them. “Well, uh, after we’re done eating we’re going to go to my room, and then we can do whatever you want to do.”

Camila’s smile fades into a little smirk. “Oh, really? Whatever I want?”

“Yeah,” Lauren swallows the lump in her throat. “Whatever you want.”

“Cool, let’s watch some movies,” Camila replies, and Lauren lets out some sort of cough that’s half a laugh and half a ‘ _what?’_. Unfortunately for her, Camila picks up on it. “What? Did you have something else in mind?”

Lauren rolls her eyes. “You’re the worst.”

Camila smiles. “But you love me.”

“Yes,” Lauren agrees, “unfortunately.”

Camila snorts. “It’s very fortunate, actually. I’ll have you know I’m a joy to be around.”

“Still the worst.” Lauren nudges her with her foot under the table.

Camila nudges her back. “Look, Lo, I know this stuff is usually implied but I suck at reading people and implications and all of that junk and I overthink things a lot. Are you wanting to… _you know_ … tonight?”

Lauren sends her an innocent smile. “I’m sorry? I don’t know what _you know_ means. You’re going to have to be a little more… _explicit_.”

Camila lets out a loud sigh. “Lo. Please. You know exactly what I mean.”

“You’re asking me if I want to fuck, yeah?” Lauren smirks at how red Camila turns. “I don’t know. I guess you’re going to have to figure that one out, aren’t you? But hypothetically, if I did… would that be something you’re okay with?”

Camila blinks in surprise. “Um… I don’t know. I mean… I’ve never… I could _try_ -”

“Hesitation implies that you’re not ready.” Lauren interrupts her. “And that’s fine. I’m not expecting you to be.”

“I don’t want to ruin your night though,” Camila mumbles, picking at her food. “I feel like I am.”

“Camz…” Lauren reaches across the table and squeezes her girlfriend’s hand, “I’m not doing all this as some kind of set up because I want to have sex with you. I’m doing it because I love you and I want to do something nice for you. You’re not ruining anything.”

“I’m sorry, it’s just-” Camila bites down on her bottom lip and shrugs, “I kind of thought it was. People generally don’t do nice things for me unless they want something from me.”

Lauren holds back the irritation she feels bubbling at the pit of her stomach, because the last thing she wants is to start another fight. “That’s not it. At all. I _love_ you, Camila. I’m not lying when I say that.”

“I know, Lo,” Camila replies. “Other than my family, I trust you more than anyone. I just can’t help being paranoid. It happens and I end up pushing people away and… it just sucks. It makes me feel like it was my fault for never having friends, because whenever someone would try I’d distance myself. The last thing I want to do is push you away with my worries, but I feel like it’s inevitable.”

“Camz,” Lauren squeezes Camila’s hand, “you’re stuck with me, nerd. No matter what. I don’t care how much you try pushing me away, I’ll keep pulling you back.”

Camila has to hold back her smile. “Thanks, Lo. Can we talk about something else maybe? I feel like I’m ruining the mood of your romantic dinner.”

Lauren smiles. “Sure. Twenty questions?”

Camila snorts. “What are you, a fuckboy? Normani told me that question games are their signature moves.”

 _“Please_ ,” Lauren rolls her eyes, “I’m way superior to that subhuman race. I just want to ask you things. Things I don’t know yet.”

“If you’re way superior, why have all your exes been one, huh?” Camila wiggles her eyebrows and sends her a teasing grin. “Exactly. Can’t answer that one, can you?”

“Hey, no, not fair,” Lauren pouts, “that’s just- Keaton wasn’t one!”

“That was middle school, and he’s probably one now,” Camila says, “also, _Luis_. He cheated on you, which gives him auto fuckboy status. And don’t get me started on _Brad_.”

“Brad isn’t an ex,” Lauren rolls her eyes, “so your point is invalid. I didn’t date him. I just… kissed him one time.”

“Still did _something_.” Camila argues. “So my point is very valid. I can gladly say I’ve never dated a fuckboy.”

“You’re gay, that’s not fair,” Lauren points out, “you can’t use your sexuality to win contests.”

“I can do whatever I want,” Camila retorts, “besides, I don’t see you having any decent female exes to counter my points with.”

“Lucy,” Lauren folds her arms across her chest, “she’s a sort of ex, and she’s cool. Take that.”

“Still three vs. one.” Camila points out. “I mean, I _guess_ having a really amazing current girlfriend could make up for it. Maybe.”

Lauren rolls her eyes. “Shut up and eat your food.”

-

“I’ve been thinking about something.”

Lauren hums in acknowledgment but doesn’t look away from the TV. “Yeah? What’s up?”

“You and I should go to like… couple’s therapy,” Camila voices her thoughts, “but not in the way where it’s about our relationship. I think we should just go together and maybe we would find it easier to talk to someone.”

“Yeah, no,” Lauren shakes her head, “no thanks.”

“Why not?” Camila asks. “Anything is worth a shot. Even though therapy has been ineffective before, maybe we can get better if we go through it all together.”

“There’s no _getting better_ ,” Lauren scoffs, “not for me. For you, yeah. Go ahead, try whatever the fuck you want. But there’s nothing anyone can do. It’s more- I just have to deal with it. And I do.”

Camila holds her hands up in defence. “You don’t need to snap at me. I’m just trying to help.”

“You can’t,” Lauren sighs and she feels incredibly guilty for snapping, but it just happens sometimes. She says things without thinking and makes impulsive decisions. “Look, I don’t mean to get mad. It just- bipolar disorder isn’t like anxiety where it can go away with time. I’ll _always_ be like this, Camz. There’s no way of curing it. There’s no point in bothering.”

“You can improve, though,” Camila replies, and Lauren has no idea why she’s always so optimistic about things. “You can feel better than you do now. Especially if you get back on track with taking your meds.”

“I have,” Lauren replies, “still feel… like things are pointless. But whatever. I don’t even care anymore.”

“You should!” Camila leans up and kisses her. “I want you to be happy, Lo. I love it when you’re all happy and smiley. It makes me happy and smiley too. For lack of a better word. It’s good that you’re taking your meds again, but you should… try and paint some more. I know you love to paint and you haven’t done that for a while, from what I’ve seen. Paint right now. Paint me!”

Lauren blinks in surprise when Camila jumps up from the bed and grabs Lauren’s sketchbook, tossing it over to her. “No, I’m too tired, let’s just watch the movie.”

“No, come on, I want you to paint me,” Camila says, lowering her voice and sending her girlfriend a smirk, “like one of your French girls.”

Lauren raises an eyebrow. “Well… if you’re going to get naked, maybe I’ll move.”

“Well, I mean, it was a joke, but…” Camila shrugs and pulls off her shirt. “I’ll take off the top layer. Underwear and bra stay on.”

Lauren sits up with wide eyes as Camila pulls down her jeans, because that’s the last thing she was expecting. “Throw me a pencil. I’ll sketch you. Painting has too much clean up.”

Camila does as Lauren says, before tossing her clothes aside and sitting down on the bed. “Do you want me to pose or…?”

“Um,” Lauren sits up and tilts her head up by the chin, leaning in and kissing her, “no. Just be you. As awkward and weird as you are.”

Camila laughs. “Shut up. If anyone’s weird, it’s you.”

“Oh, yeah?” Lauren asks as she starts to sketch Camila’s outline on the paper, “Please, enlighten me on how I’m weirder than you.”

“Well…” Camila bites down on her bottom lip and shrugs, “you watch that weird kids’ show that my sister likes. And you insist you’re badass when you’re clearly not _and_ the biggest bottom I’ve ever met, which shows you’re pretty deluded. And being delusional means you’re weird.”

“Hey, no, shut up,” Lauren shakes her head and sends Camila a glare, “and you’re not supposed to mention the… _bottom_ thing.”

“I’ll mention whatever I want, princess,” Camila sends her a teasing grin, her smile faltering when Lauren lets out a quick _no, don’t move, you’ll ruin my art_ , “I’m not making fun of you for it, if you’re about to say that. I like calling you princess. You’re my princess.”

Lauren blushes. “You’re the _worst_.”

“Whatever,” Camila rolls her eyes, “I’m not the one with a daddy kink.”

“I _don’t_ have a daddy kink,” Lauren defends herself, “that stuff weirds me out.”

“ _Sure_ , babygirl,” Camila smirks, “of course you don’t.”

“I _don’t_.” Lauren pouts, keeping her eyes trained on her sketchbook. “Just because I like one name that’s associated with the ‘daddy’ kink, doesn’t mean I have one. Okay? I’m not- I’m actually quite vanilla. To be honest. For all I know, you have some kind of weird ass kink that I don’t know about. And it’s only fair that you tell me about it, since you know what I like and all.”

“Nope,” Camila shakes her head, “sorry to disappoint, but I can’t say I do. I don’t even know if I like just normal sex. Never done it. Can’t give you any help. But I know what you like, so… at least I’ll be able to make it good for you when we do that.”

“It’d be good for me anyway,” Lauren rolls her eyes, “It’d be with you. Anything with you is amazing, dork.”

“Actually, no, because if I-” Camila cuts herself off with a laugh, “if I didn’t call you _babygirl_ or _princess_ when we do that, it wouldn’t be as good for you. Also, I’d have assumed you’d be a top. So… you wouldn’t enjoy it without me knowing that you like being ‘fucking dominated’. In Lucy’s words.”

“I would’ve told you that myself, nearer the time,” Lauren pauses to take a sip of wine, “either way, you’d have known about it. I’d rather I told you, to be honest. I could’ve described it better than a drunk Lucy.”

“I think she did the job pretty well,” Camila replies, “remind me to send her a gift basket or something.”

“Shut up,” Lauren rolls her eyes, “every time you move, you fuck up the drawing. It won’t even look like you by the time I’m done.”

So, Camila stays quiet and as still as she possibly can. After about half an hour of achy joints and muscles, she’s finally able to stretch, because Lauren tosses the sketchbook at her.

“There. It’s just a rough draft, but… yeah.” Lauren sends her a shy smile. “You like it?”

Camila looks over the detailed ‘draft’ with a smile. “Yeah. I love it. Thanks, Lo.”

“Maybe I’ll do a full painting of you one day,” Lauren replies, “but you’re not a very good model. You yap on and on and constantly move around.”

“Shut up, I’m the best model,” Camila flips her hair back, “I’m incredibly poised and graceful.”

“In your dreams, Cabello,” Lauren smirks, “but you tried. So I guess I’ll give you some points. Now come cuddle me.”

As Camila reaches for her jeans and her shirt, Lauren shakes her head. “What? I’m not allowed to put my clothes back on?”

“Nope,” Lauren replies, “now come cuddle.”

“Only if you take yours off too,” Camila folds her arms across her chest, “I’m staying here until I see underwear, Jauregui.”

“Fine,” Lauren kicks off her jeans and throws her sweater across the room, effectively making it land on Camila’s head. “There. Now. Cuddles.”

Camila throws Lauren’s sweater on the floor and then climbs back into bed, and Lauren has absolutely no shame in cuddling up next to her girlfriend and burying her face into her neck. She hadn’t realised how tired she was until she starts drifting off to sleep, and she kind of blames it on Camila for being the perfect cuddle buddy.

The last words she hears before she falls asleep are, “I love you, Lo.”


	18. Chapter 18

_“Come over, please.”_

“Is that your version of _hello_?” Camila frowns at Lauren’s words. “If so, not a very warm welcome, Lo. I’ll come over when I get a decent greeting.”

 _“Hi, Camila,”_ Lauren says, _“come over, please. I’m alone and- and I-”_

 _“_ And you what?” Camila sits up, already reaching for a sweater and a pair of jeans. “What’s wrong?”

“ _Never mind_ ,” Lauren murmurs, and for the first time, Camila picks up on the crack in her voice. “ _I’m being stupid. Stay where you are, I don’t- I don’t want to be a bother.”_

“You definitely _are_ being stupid, yes. Because you’re not a bother.” Camila tugs on her jeans and puts Lauren on speaker, repeating her question from before. “What’s wrong?”

 _“Don’t worry about it. I shouldn’t have called.”_ Lauren continues on, and Camila knows she’s lying in a second. _“I’m fine. Nothing’s wrong.”_

“Usually I’d let you hang up, because your family are generally there, so you’d have someone to talk to.” Camila says, “ _But_ you just said you’re alone. And you tend to make impulsive decisions when you’re upset. Therefore, I’ll see you in twenty minutes.”

 _“Don’t_ ,” Lauren interrupts her, “ _don’t- I- I’m okay. Don’t worry about me.”_

“Too late, idiot,” Camila says, pulling on her shoes and grabbing her mom’s car keys. After calling out to her parents to let them know she’s going to Lauren’s, she puts the phone back to her ear. “I’m on my way, alright? Stay on the phone to me, though. The Bluetooth thing in my mom’s car connects automatically so you don’t need to worry about possible car crashes.”

 _“It’s fine_ ,” Lauren says, but from her shaky voice, Camila knows that’s another lie, _“I’m alright. It’s not- it isn’t a big deal. I’m just… overthinking.”_

“Which is generally a big deal _._ ” Camila finishes for her. “I overthink too much too, Lo. I know how bad it is. I’m coming and you can’t stop me. Are you crying right now?”

“ _I- I, um, a… a little,”_ Lauren admits, which roughly translates to _yes, but I’m too proud to admit it_. Camila knows her a little too well. “ _Not over anything huge. I just- I don’t feel good.”_

“Physically or mentally?” Camila asks, already pretty sure she knows the answer. “Or both?”

“ _Um… mentally?”_ Lauren answers. “ _I was overthinking. Like I said. And- and there’s nobody- it happens a lot when I’m alone and it’s not- not been a good month. Not really._ ”

“Do you feel…” Camila bites down on her lip, wanting to be careful with her words in case Lauren shouts at her or something, “depressed? Or… is it- is it anxiousness?”

“ _The former_ ,” Lauren quietly replies, “ _Camz, I can’t- I’ve just been so unhappy the past month. And it’s so much energy to pretend that everything’s fine because I don’t want people to worry, and you’re the last person I should be telling about this because you have it bad enough without having to deal with me_.”

“Lauren, babe,” Camila quickly responds, the term of endearment slipping out, “I told you that it worries me more when you keep things from me. I’m glad you called. That way I can fulfil my girlfriend duties and comfort you.”

 _“I’m sorry,”_ Lauren mumbles, “ _I’m sorry I’m so-”_

“Don’t finish that sentence if the end is going to be self-deprecating.” Camila says, scowling when she hits a red light, because she wants to get to Lauren as soon as she can. “Stop doubting your worth, weirdo. I love you.”

“ _Why_?” Lauren asks, and the hopelessness in her tone makes Camila’s heart break. _“Why do you love me when you could have literally anyone? Someone who isn’t fucked up.”_

“Not my fault, I kind of thought that you had it all together when I met you.” Camila points out, trying her best to make a joke. “Seriously though, I love you for you. You make me happy, Lo.”

Lauren lets out a shaky sigh. _“You deserve the world, Camz. But I don’t know if I can give that to you.”_

Camila snorts. “Of course you can’t give me the world, Lolo. You’ve already given me the universe.”

 _“Cheesy, much?”_ Lauren tries to joke, letting out a shaky laugh. _“I- I love you, though. You’re the best. Sorry for dragging you out of your bed. I know you were probably in your pyjamas.”_

Even though Lauren’s completely hit the nail on the head, Camila isn’t about to admit that. “ _Please_ , Lo. Of course I wasn’t in my pyjamas, it’s like, 7PM on a Friday night. I was totally getting ready to go to a crazy party.”

 _“Yeah, and I was just training my pet lion to do a backflip,”_ Lauren replies, and Camila’s glad that whatever’s upsetting her girlfriend hasn’t messed with her ability to make sarcastic remarks. “ _You going to a party is even more unrealistic than that.”_

“Glad to know you can still make your usual sarcastic comments,” Camila replies with a laugh, “I’m just around the corner, baby girl. Is your front door open?”

 _“Yes,”_ Lauren replies, “ _I’m- uh, upstairs. In bed.”_

“Alright,” Camila responds as she parks outside Lauren’s house and picks her phone up, “I’ll be right up. I’m going to hang up now, okay?”

 _“Okay,”_ Lauren mumbles, “ _see you soon?”_

“See you in seconds, babe,” Camila promises, “I’m literally walking up your driveway right now.”

When Lauren hangs up on her, Camila picks up her speed and jogs to the front door, pushing it open and making sure to lock it behind her. Then, she runs up to Lauren’s room, and when she pushes the door open and sees a little bundle under the covers, she knows that her girlfriend is hiding under there.

“Hey,” Camila announces her presence, pulling off the jeans she’d put on and climbing into bed next to Lauren. “I’m here.”

Lauren grabs her hand from under the covers, and Camila feels her snuggle up against her, head on her stomach. As if it’s instinct to her, Camila starts running her fingers through Lauren’s hair, tracing her girlfriend’s hairline and taking extra care when she reaches her widow’s peak.

“I’m sorry _,”_ Lauren mumbles, still not coming out from under the covers, “I shouldn’t have called.”

“You should’ve. You were upset and you needed help, and I’m here to give you that.” Camila replies, deciding that if Lauren’s not coming out from under the covers, she’s going under. As she pulls the sheets up over her head and squints in the darkness, meeting her girlfriend’s green gaze, she starts running her fingers through Lauren’s hair and massaging her girlfriend’s scalp. “Don’t ever be afraid to call me, Lolo.”

Lauren kisses her, lingering for a few moments, but still pulling away quickly. “I needed that.”

Camila smiles and pulls Lauren closer. “I’m here for you. No matter what. Okay?”

“Okay,” Lauren murmurs, squeezing Camila’s hand, “I just haven’t felt too good for the past month. And I- is it okay if you stay here for the weekend? I know that my parents will be back in a few hours and Chris and Taylor will be here whenever they finish hanging out with their friends, but… I need you.”

“That’s fine,” Camila replies, “I’ll stay as long as you want me to. So long as you keep me well fed with your wonderful Cuban cooking.”

Lauren lets out a small laugh, and Camila considers that a victory. “Yeah. Okay. Can you maybe… talk to me? Take my mind off what it’s on now?”

“What’s it on now?” Camila asks, but at Lauren’s stern look, she figures it’s better not to push things. She doesn’t want to cause a fight, and it’s a big enough step that Lauren actually _called_ her when she felt upset. “Well, uh… one of my cousin’s on my mom’s side of the family is getting married – we’re especially close to my mom’s side of the family – and my entire family are going to the wedding. Even though it’s in Cuba so it’ll be a weekend away, I’m not looking forward to it.”

“Weddings are fun,” Lauren says, “it’s a great excuse to get drunk.”

Camila snorts. “Yeah, unfortunately for me, my parents don’t let me drink. Not all parents are as relaxed as yours.”

“My parents aren’t relaxed,” Lauren says, pushing her duvet off them. Camila takes a few moments for her eyes to adjust to the light. “They understand that teenagers drink, and they’d rather let me do it and be able to make sure I’m not some alcoholic than ban it completely and have me rebel against them.”

Camila raises an eyebrow. “My parents would kill me if I smoked weed, but yours don’t seem to care about that, and-”

“They don’t know about that,” Lauren interrupts her, “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell them, either. They’d definitely kill me for that. Told you they weren’t relaxed. My dad’s way more chill than my mom though, she freaks out when she finds empty wine bottles in my room.”

“I’d freak out if I found empty wine bottles in my kid’s room, too,” Camila agrees, “I’d wonder how the hell they’d got them.”

“That’s the thing, though,” Lauren murmurs, and Camila looks at her for the first time in the light, a pang in her chest when she sees how red and puffy her girlfriend’s eyes are and how her mascara has run. “My parents are the ones that buy me the wine. It’s like my mom thinks I’m going to use it as decoration or something.”

“Alright, that’s a little weird,” Camila admits, sitting up and pulling Lauren in for an unexpected hug. “But she just cares. Like me. And I don’t like seeing you look all upset.”

“I feel better,” Lauren replies, “now that I have company, I mean. I shouldn’t be left alone with my thoughts.”

“I- um, I read some things online. About bipolar disorder, I mean,” Camila awkwardly starts, not sure how Lauren feels about that from her facial expression, “I read that depressive episodes can last for six to eight months.”

“Um... yeah. That’s without treatment,” Lauren slowly replies, “and… uh, I’ve been taking my meds. It’s just… I haven’t been very happy. But it takes four to six weeks for the medication to kick in, and it’s only been like, three and a half since I’ve started taking them every day.”

“How did this happen?” Camila asks the question that’s been at the front of her mind for a while. “Like… what do you think caused it? Your bipolar disorder, I mean. I read a few things online, but… I’d rather hear it from you.”

“I don’t… I don’t know,” Lauren eventually responds, “I guess a lot of it started when I was fifteen, at the height of all of my insecurities. But I don’t know what caused it. Don’t know if I ever will, either. All I know is that it’s a chemical imbalance in the brain.”

“What about the other thing?” Camila asks. “The body dysmorphic disorder.”

Lauren scoffs. “I don’t even have that. That’s just my mom being too much of a worrier and telling doctors a bunch of things she shouldn’t. I don’t know why she told you that, anyway.”

Camila bites down on her bottom lip and decides to keep pushing. “Be honest with me here. When you look in the mirror, what do you see?”

Lauren rolls her eyes. “This is unnecessary.”

“No, it’s not,” Camila pushes her towards her mirror. “Go look and tell me what you see.”

Lauren sighs, but gets up and walks over to the mirror, rubbing her eyes. “I see a girl whose mascara has run. I look like a depressed panda.”

“Very funny,” Camila replies, “I’m serious, tell me what you see. Describe yourself. How you look.”

“Fine,” Lauren huffs, and reluctantly turns back to the mirror. “Too much, for starters. There’s too much of me. I’m squishy. Um… I hate my arms so much. And- and my lips are always too chapped for words but nothing I do makes it better. I hate my-”

“Alright, no, that’s enough,” Camila cuts her off, not able to listen to this, “now turn to me.”

Lauren does as she says and sends her an expectant look. “Well? What’s the point of that?”

“I see something else. I see a body I’d kill to have. You have such beautiful curves,” Camila says, allowing herself a little look before she meets her girlfriend’s gaze again. “You’re my perfectly squishy girlfriend. And squishy is _healthy_. I love your arms, because they hold onto me when I’m sad. And your lips are soft as hell when we kiss. I love everything about you. That’s what you should see. You should see yourself through my eyes.”

Lauren just rolls her eyes. “You don’t need to lie, Camz. I get it, it’s okay. I’m working on things. Softball is really helping.”

“You enjoy softball and it’s good for you. I never said it’s a bad thing.” Camila replies. “But I don’t think you need to lose weight. I think you’re perfect how you are.”

“I’m not perfect.” Lauren mumbles, sitting back down and curling up to Camila. “Talk to me about something else, please.”

“Fine,” Camila replies, “my mom said I could bring you to the wedding I told you about. If you want to meet my family.”

“Seriously?” Lauren frowns at her. “But that’s- it’s in _Cuba._ I have like, two dollars right now since I quit my summer job.”

“You don’t have to pay,” Camila rolls her eyes, “the main reason she said I could invite you was because a cousin who lives a few states over was going to travel with us but she had to cancel. My mom had paid for her ticket and everything so everything’s already paid. If you want to come.”

“I mean… if you want me to,” Lauren says, “but I don’t want to intrude or anything-”

“If you were going to intrude, my mom wouldn’t have offered and I wouldn’t have asked.” Camila points out. “I’d love for you to come. It’d actually be way better than you not coming. It’d be nice to have company, especially your company.”

“Alright then.” Lauren nods, “I’ll come with you.”

“I’ll tell my mom you said yes. We have two hotel rooms booked so I’ll just… make Sofi go in with my parents.” Camila says, glancing up at Lauren with a smile. “That’ll be so much more romantic.”

Lauren raises an eyebrow. “Why do I get the vibe that you’re insinuating something?”

“Maybe because I am,” Camila smirks and kisses Lauren’s forehead, “but that’s not important right now.”

“Actually,” Lauren sits up and starts playing with Camila’s hand, “I think it is.”

Camila lets out a soft chuckle and shakes her head. Stroking her hand through Lauren’s hair, she smiles, “It’s nothing to worry your pretty little head about. Now go take your makeup off. I can’t take you seriously when you look like a panda.”

Lauren snorts. “I will in a second. I just need to ask you something.”

“Oh?” Camila has a feeling she knows what Lauren’s going to ask. “Okay. Go ahead.”

“Well,” Lauren pauses for a moment, “are you planning on seducing me at any point in Cuba?”

Camila turns bright red and clears her throat. “Um… yes. If you’re… okay with that.”

“More than okay,” Lauren confirms, her smile wider than Camila’s ever really seen it. “I just needed to know so I can pack some things.”

Camila’s eyes widen. “I swear to _god_ if you bring any sex toys I will never associate with you again.”

Lauren bursts out laughing, “No, oh my god. I meant more like lingerie. But what’s so bad about sex toys?”

“I’m not talking to you about this,” Camila shakes her head and hides her face in her hand, “now go take your damn makeup off.”

“As you wish,” Lauren kisses her and stands up, pausing before she goes into the bathroom. “Thanks, Camz. For cheering me up and stuff. I get that I’m kind of all over the place.”

“I’m your girlfriend,” Camila reminds her, “it’s what I’m here for. You’d do the same for me.”

“Yeah,” Lauren sends her a little smile before turning on her heel and going into the bathroom. “I’ll be two minutes. Feel free to go on my laptop and hijack my Netflix.”

As Lauren closes the door behind her, Camila reaches over and grabs Lauren’s laptop from where she’s left it on the floor by her bed. She opens up the lid and frowns when she realises it’s password protected. “Lauren! Your laptop has a password. I can’t get into it.”

She hears Lauren laughing in the bathroom. “Wait until I get out then.”

“But I want to look through Netflix,” Camila pouts, “I won’t do anything else.”

“I know you won’t,” Lauren says, “but I’m not telling you my laptop password. It’s embarrassing.”

“It’s a _password_ ,” Camila points out, imagining Lauren’s eye roll through the door, “it can’t be embarrassing.”

“ _Fine_ , you asked for it,” Lauren lets out an exasperated sigh; Camila pictures another eye roll. “It’s Camila97. Capital C.”

Camila types it in, a little surprised that her name is Lauren’s password. When she’s greeted by Lauren’s desktop, the background a picture of them both at the beach with Dinah, Ally and Normani, she smiles even wider. “That’s so cute.”

“I told you it’s embarrassing,” Lauren deadpans. “I just love you, okay? _God_.”

“I’m not making fun of you,” Camila says, sending her girlfriend a smile as the bathroom door opens and Lauren walks out, makeup free. “I think it’s adorable. I’ll set mine as laurenmichelle1996. Just don’t hack me on anything.”

Lauren snorts. “I hardly doubt I’d find anything gossip worthy. It’d probably just be you linking people to memes. That’s what ninety percent of our Facebook messages are.”

“They’re funny!” Camila defends herself, “and I only send you things like that when we’re already facetiming and I see something funny.”

“Still,” Lauren rolls her eyes, “you probably spam Dinah, Ally and Mani with them too. And that’s when you’re not on FaceTime with them.”

“Shut up,” Camila pouts, mostly because she knows it’s true. “You’re the worst.”

“You love it,” Lauren pokes her in the side and flops back down on the bed, burying herself under the covers. Her voice is muffled when she speaks up. “You coming under?”

Camila ducks under the covers and frowns at her. “Why do you like hiding under here so much?”

“It’s warm,” Lauren says like it’s obvious, “and comfortable. Why not? But that’s not what we’re supposed to be talking about right now. I’m taking you out next weekend. We haven’t gone on an actual date for a while and it’s nearly Christmas so we need to do something festive. Mostly find mistletoe and kiss under it.”

“Okay. Deal,” Camila nods, “we’ll go on a festive gay adventure.”

“Festive _queer_ adventure,” Lauren corrects, “I’m not gay. I’m bi. Remember?”

“Yes, I know you like guys too. Don’t know _why_ , but that’s your taste I guess,” Camila says with a teasing grin. “I feel bad for you, honestly. Guys smell.”

Lauren rolls her eyes. “Some of them are nice.”

“Not the ones you date, babe,” Camila points out, “sorry to break it to you, but _Brad_ _Simpson_? Really? Luis wasn’t all that bad looking, but he cheated on you, so he’s not that great either.”

“Yeah, I know,” Lauren sighs and cuddles up to Camila, “being cheated on sucks. And in my defence, I didn’t even like Brad. I was just using him to make you jealous.”

“Hey,” Camila picks up on the drop in Lauren’s mood, “Luis was a jerk who didn’t deserve or appreciate you. You never have to worry about things like that with me. I love you and all your crazy.”

Lauren hums in reply. “I love you too. And I’m looking forward to our festive outing.”

“Yeah,” Camila smiles and squeezes Lauren around the waist. “This is going to be the best Christmas ever. I’ll actually have friends and an amazing girlfriend to spend it with.”

“I’ve already bought your present,” Lauren tells her, “hopefully you’ll like it. And before you ask, _no_ , I’m not going to give you any hints.”

Camila laughs, “Wasn’t going to ask for any. I like being surprised. I’ve bought your present too. Normani might have helped a little.”

Lauren raises her eyebrows. “Good to know that I’ll just have to constantly annoy Mani if I want to know what my present is.”

“You _wish_ ,” Camila snorts, “Normani is like, the best secret keeper out of all our friends. Ally’s a close second. You’re the worst, no offence. You’re kind of a blabber mouth.”

“Hey, no, that’s uncalled for,” Lauren pouts at her and Camila’s heart melts, “I just blurt things out sometimes. It’s not like I intentionally tell people things, and most of the time it’s a trivial secret, anyway. I’d never out anyone or-”

“Disengage the passionate rant, Lo,” Camila laughs and rubs her girlfriend’s bare arm comfortingly, “I trust you regardless of your lack of filter.”

Lauren lets out a throaty laugh and glances up at her. “I trust you too. Just… hold me, please?”

“Sure, princess,” Camila runs her fingers through Lauren’s hair, “get some rest. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Lauren snuggles up to her and closes her eyes. “Thank you. For everything you do for me.”

“You’re welcome, babygirl,” Camila kisses the top of Lauren’s head. “It’s never a problem.”

Lauren hums, her voice a lot quieter than before. “I love you. Goodnight.”

She’s already asleep before Camila replies, “I love you too.”


	19. Chapter 19

_Camila sighs, staring out of the classroom window at the bright Miami sun. It’s the last day of school before Christmas break, but it doesn’t feel like it. She wishes she could have a stereotypical Christmas – snow everywhere, snowball fights with her parents, wrapping up in warm sweaters and heavy coats. Instead, she can get away with wearing shorts and a t-shirt. Not that she would; she’s at school, and the last thing she needs is for her peers to mock her for her body. That’s why she always wears jeans and a long sleeved tee._

_The bell rings, signalling their one hour lunch break, and Camila is thrilled that the school day is halfway over. Then, she’ll get to go home and have two and a half weeks of bully-free bliss._

_(Sure, vacations are lonely without friends to hang out with, but she’d rather be lonely than bullied.)_

_She spends most of her free period writing her usual end of year letter – every year, she writes about the things she’s done and the things she wishes she’d done – when she notices a bit of a pattern in its content._

_It’s basically all about Lauren Jauregui._

_After a few moments of thinking it over, she decides that she’s going to rewrite the letter, erasing the parts about herself, because she doesn’t want her identity to be revealed. If she’s going to anonymously post the letter through Lauren’s locker, the last thing she needs is for Lauren to know who she is._

_If Lauren or her friends found out that Camila likes girls, god knows what they would do. Though, Camila doesn’t think they could make her school life any harder._

_She spends a little while trying to articulate her thoughts properly; how Lauren makes her feel, how it lights up Camila’s day just to see her smile, how she definitely doesn’t want this to come off as creepy and how she doesn’t expect Lauren to feel the same. Especially how she doesn’t want Lauren to pursue her and try to find out her identity, because she knows the older girl would be disappointed._

_Once she’s sure the letter is perfect, she gives it a read over and folds it up, putting it in a little envelope that she finds in the IT room._

Dear Lauren,

I was writing out a letter about my year as a whole, and I realised that your name comes up a lot more frequently than I thought it would. At first, I was kind of surprised that you were such a big part of my year, but as I read my letter over, I was a lot less shocked.

So, I decided to write this letter for you. Not for myself.

You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. You’re prettier than movie stars and models and I don’t doubt that you could be either one of those when you’re older. I first saw you in sixth grade, when we shared an English class. We never spoke – I was always way too scared to approach you, because a girl as beautiful as you deserves someone ten times better than me – but I always found myself watching you as you did your work, because you were always so effortlessly gorgeous and it was so admirable.

Not only are you beautiful, but you’re incredibly intelligent, and I’m surprised that you haven’t skipped a grade already. I know you’re probably a straight A student, and if you’re not, you’re definitely capable of it. You’re capable of so much, Lauren. And I bet when school is over and we’re both grown up and living in different cities, I’ll turn on the news one day and your name will be there, followed by something great. Because you’re going to go so far and I can’t wait to see you do it.

I know by now you’re probably wondering who I am, and I want to ask you in the most polite way possible to not try to find me. I know for a fact that you’ll be disappointed with what you find, and that’s the last thing I want. I don’t want to see disappointment on your face in any way, especially when it comes to my affections. I’m not saying any of this because I want something from you; I’m saying it because I mean it, and staying anonymous helps me prove that.

I hope that this letter managed to put a smile on your face, and I hope that one day I’ll be able to make you smile in person. I love the way your beautiful green eyes are so bright when you’re happy, and I want to see that close up. I want to be the cause of that. I know it’s highly unlikely, and you’ll probably never find out who I am – like I said, I don’t want to disappoint you – so please just believe that there’s someone out there (me) who absolutely adores you and believes in you unconditionally.

Merry Christmas, and I hope next year is absolutely amazing for you.

Love, your secret friend.

_Satisfied with her writing, Camila waits until she’s halfway through her next period – math, her worst class – and excuses herself to the bathroom, sliding the note through the slats on Lauren’s locker door on her way there._

_She’s incredibly nervous about doing it, in case anyone saw or in case she accidentally gets the wrong locker, but she goes through with it, because if it makes Lauren happy, her nerves are worth it._

_When the bell for lunch rings, she bolts out of her classroom and she waits by Lauren’s locker, out of sight, watching for herself as the raven haired girl reads her letter. The way Lauren’s smile seems to grow as she reads each word makes Camila’s heart flutter, and she’s so happy that she decided to do this. If making Lauren smile from afar is the only way she’ll ever make the other girl smile, Camila’s okay with that._

_She’ll never reveal herself – she has way too much to lose and she knows that Lauren would react negatively – but her heart aches for the older girl and she wishes that things were different. She wishes that she could walk over there and kiss Lauren senseless, telling her that she loves her in any way she knows how._

_Reality hits her in the face when someone shoves her from behind and into the hallway that Lauren is in. Alexa Ferrer and Keana Issartel sneer at her, and she can practically feel Lauren staring at them from down the hallway._

_“Hey, Karla,” Alexa sends her a malicious smile, “didn’t think we’d leave for Christmas break and not have some fun, did you?”_

_She hopes that maybe things will turn around. Maybe things will change. Maybe Lauren will walk over, tell her friends to leave her alone, and maybe she’ll befriend her and things will be easier in the New Year. Maybe the rest of seventh grade wouldn’t suck._

_Instead, Lauren watches them for a moment, and when Alexa catches her eye, smirks. Then, the green eyed girl tucks Camila’s note safely in her locker, closes the door, and walks away._

_Camila goes home that day with a black eye and an aching heart._

-

“Camz.”

Camila practically jumps out of her skin when her bedroom door swings open and Lauren walks in like she owns the place. “Uh… hey, Lo. I didn’t know you were coming over.”

“I texted you, but as per usual, your phone is probably on silent so that’s why you didn’t get it.” Lauren sits down on her bed and sends her a smile. “I would’ve been coming over anyway. It’s Christmas Eve and I need spend some of it with my girlfriend.”

Camila smiles. “So… you want to join in on the Cabello Christmas traditions?”

“I guess so,” Lauren replies, resting her head on Camila’s shoulder, “depending on what said traditions are.”

“Well, there’s one where my super attractive girlfriend makes out with me under the mistletoe.” Camila smirks, wishing she had some nearby. “That’s like, the most important one.”

Lauren raises an eyebrow. “Good thing I don’t need mistletoe to make out with you.”

Camila smiles against Lauren’s lips when her girlfriend leans in to kiss her, and her hands rest on Lauren’s waist, playing with the soft fabric of the older girl’s obnoxiously bright Christmas sweater. “You’re so good at that.”

“That’s good to know,” Lauren grins when she pulls away and takes the backpack that she’d brought with her off her shoulders. “Your present is in here. It’s not something super big, but… yeah. I hope you like it anyways.”

“Yours is in my closet,” Camila says, standing up and opening up the door to grab the messily wrapped package. “I suck at wrapping presents.”

Lauren bursts out laughing when Camila puts the present on the bed in front of her. “No offence, Camz, but that’s the _worst_ wrapping I’ve ever seen. Even my brother does better than that.”

Camila pouts. “Don’t make fun of me! It’s not like the wrapping is what matters, anyway. You’re going to be ripping it all up in a minute.”

“Uh, no I’m not,” Lauren shakes her head, “I can’t open a present _before_ Christmas. That’s against the rules.”

Camila rolls her eyes and takes the neatly wrapped present that Lauren’s holding out to her. “That might be against your rules, but I’m opening mine now.”

“Um, no,” Lauren snatches the gift back. “I won’t let you. I’m giving this to your mom and she can put it under the tree. You can’t open it _yet_ , otherwise… otherwise I’ll call Santa up and snitch on you, and then he’ll get his elves to come and beat you up for ruining Christmas.”

“You’re so dramatic,” Camila laughs and gives Lauren a playful shove. “This is why _you’re_ the unintimidating one in this relationship.”

“Please, compared to you, I’m like… an incredibly intimidating gang member.” Lauren points out. “You’re all tiny and dorky.”

“Mhm,” Camila hums, “of course you’re intimidating, princess.”

“You’re the _worst_ ,” Lauren snorts, but her words don’t cause much of an effect, because it’s obvious that she’s fighting off a smile. “I told you not to make fun of me for that. Or I’ll post a compilation video of you falling over on YouTube for everyone to see.”

Camila scoffs. “You _wouldn’t_.”

“I _would_ ,” Lauren shoots back. “Don’t underestimate me, Karla.”

“Don’t call me _Karla_ ,” Camila shoves her, “I hate my first name and you know it.”

“Really, Karla? Didn’t know that.” Lauren teases her. At Camila’s scowl, she laughs. “I’m just messing, Camz. Anyway, we need to do something festive. I have a tub of Christmas cookies, courtesy of chef Ally in my bag, and you’ve got to have some Christmas movies somewhere, right?”

“You have _Ally’s cookies_?” Camila blinks at her. “Give me them. Now, Lauren Michelle. Or I’ll jump you.”

“Damn, someone’s pushy,” Lauren pulls the cookies from her bag and hands them over. “Don’t eat them all. I want at least one.”

“I make no such promises,” Camila pries the lid off the tub and immediately bites into a snowman shaped cookie. “Ally can make you more.”

Lauren pouts, and Camila nearly has a heart attack, because Lauren Michelle Jauregui _pouting_ is probably the most adorable thing she’s ever seen. “But… she made these for me. It’d be rude if you didn’t share.”

“Fine,” Camila hands over the tub. “But _only_ because you’re so attractive. I hate attractive people like you. Always making me do things for you. _Ugh.”_

“I’m not-” Lauren tries to protest, but closes her mouth at Camila’s stern glare. “Whatever you say, Camz.”

Not at all liking how Lauren doesn’t seem to believe her, Camila brushes her hands on her shirt to get rid of crumbs and pulls her phone from her pocket, deciding to do something to make Lauren smile.

**_Camziii <3 (1:34PM): _ **

**_Camziii <3 (1:34PM): this is a picture of the most beautiful, adorable, open minded, intelligent, talented and perfectly curvy girl in the world. don’t forget that. you’re absolutely perfect to me, lauren, and i love you so much, especially when you look like you do in this picture. when you’re so happy that you close your eyes and show your teeth when you smile. you’re SO beautiful, inside and out, and that’s why i love this picture so much. because it’s so pure. it’s you being all happy and smiley. i want you to feel like this all the time, and you should, because you’re perfection incarnate._ **

Then, she nudges Lauren, and when her girlfriend’s emerald eyes land on her, she nods towards her jeans pocket. “Check your phone.”

Lauren rolls her eyes. “I swear to _god_ , if you’ve sent me another meme, I’ll kill you. You know that sad frog thing isn’t that funny, right?”

“Pepe is very funny, actually.” Camila retorts. “A little outdated now, but still funny.”

Lauren shakes her head. “It’s only funny to you. Ninety percent of the memes you send me are only funny to you.”

Camila just rolls her eyes and stays silent as she waits for Lauren to read the text, keeping her eyes on her laptop screen and pretending to search through Netflix for a good Christmas movie that isn’t _Home Alone_ or something ridiculously cheesy. When she hears her phone ping in her pocket, she opens the text conversation with Lauren and beams at her girlfriend’s response.

**_Lolo <3 (1:36PM): Thank you. _ **

“You mean so much to me.” Lauren mumbles. “You know that, right?”

“Yeah,” Camila smiles and pulls Lauren close to her. “I know how much you love me. I love you the same amount back.”

“You’d better,” Lauren murmurs. “Or I’d have to knock some sense into you, because like, I’m a pretty amazing girlfriend when I’m not mid existential crisis.”

“You’re an amazing girlfriend all the time.” Camila promises, running her fingers through Lauren’s hair and kissing the top of her head. “But… it’s Christmas movie time. We need to have festive… fest.”

“A festive fest?” Lauren raises an eyebrow. “Sure, okay. Whatever. Is that part of the Cabello Christmas traditions?”

“No, that’s just me wanting an excuse to snuggle you.” Camila teases, her stomach flipping when Lauren’s fingers thread through hers. “Christmas traditions at my house general don’t start until it gets dark. And you’ve actually experienced one of my Christmas – or, December – traditions before.”

Lauren frowns. “I have?”

“Yep,” Camila confirms. “It was in seventh grade, and it was at the point where my crush on you was like… probably a bit _too_ sad, considering you didn’t know I existed and I was sort of obsessed with you. Not in a creepy way, I promise, that’s just the-”

“As much as I love your nervous rambling,” Lauren cuts her off with a kiss, “can we get to the point, maybe? I know you weren’t creepy obsessed. _Now_ , maybe, but then-”

“Hey!” Camila lets out an indignant scoff. “You’re a meanie.”

“You love me.” Lauren teases her, leaning up to kiss her cheek. “Anyway, how have I experienced your weird Christmas tradition?”

“Oh, well- uh, I kind of… sent you a love letter?” Camila cringes a little at her past self. “Like… it’s kind of my thing to write out some of my thoughts from the past year and make a little end of the year letter, in a way. But in seventh grade, pretty much all of it revolved around you, and so… I edited it a bit and made it into a love letter. It’s kind of embarrassing to think back to and to actually _admit_ it to you, but… yeah.”

“That was you?” Lauren sits up and frowns at her, and Camila doesn’t know how to take that. “Keaton told me he wrote that. That was why… why I started dating him, actually.”

“What?” Camila blinks at her. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah, I was talking to my friends about it, and he was sat at the same table and told me he’d written it and asked me out.” Lauren says. “I said yes, because I thought the letter was really sweet.”

“Oh,” Camila frowns to herself. “Well… now I wish I hadn’t written it.”

“Hey, no,” Lauren nudges her and sends her a lopsided grin, “I found out who really wrote it in the end, right? And it means way more now that I know it’s from you.”

“But… that’s what got you your first boyfriend,” Camila scowls at the thought, “and watching you with him really upset me, because sometimes I thought maybe I’d have a chance with you, since I saw you staring at Keana a lot in the locker room after gym and-”

“You saw that?” Lauren laughs. “Oh my god, I thought I was subtle.”

“I think I only noticed it because I noticed you so much,” Camila points out, “like… I was paying attention to the things you were doing, and I guess… seeing you look at her made me think that maybe you liked girls after all and I had a chance.”

Lauren rolls her eyes. “You could’ve just talked to me, you know.”

Camila scoffs. “You _hated_ me back then-”

“No, my _friends_ hated you for no reason other than the fact that they were bitchy and annoying seventh graders,” Lauren interrupts her, “I… never really noticed you much until seventh grade. But I didn’t hate you. I was mostly just indifferent. You could’ve talked to me. You do okay with that now.”

“Yeah, because _now_ you’re my girlfriend and you’re in love with me.” Camila points out like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Back then, you couldn’t have cared less. You only cared about your friends, reputation and boys.”

“Not true, I cared about softball too,” Lauren tries joking, eventually letting out a sigh. “None of that matters now, Camz. Things worked out, and I know… I know they sucked for a long time, but it’s all okay now. We’re together and we’re going to be together for as long as you’ll have me. Alexa and the others don’t mean anything to me anymore.”

“I know that,” Camila murmurs. “I know. I’m glad things are the way they are now.”

“And, I mean,” Lauren pauses to squeeze her hand, “if you want to slide any more anonymous love letters into my locker when we get back to school, I’m all for it.”

“It wouldn’t be very anonymous, would it?” Camila rolls her eyes. “I think that’d ruin the effect.”

“No, not really,” Lauren says, “I can’t think of anyone who’d want to send me love letters. That’d be _such_ a surprise.”

Camila laughs. “I’ll think about it, okay? I’d rather just tell you how I feel to your beautiful face.”

Lauren blushes. “Well… when you put it that way…”

“Exactly,” Camila grins and leans in to kiss Lauren, happy that she can do that whenever she wants, because little twelve year old Karla would’ve killed to kiss Lauren. “Like right now… I could tell you that my stomach becomes an Olympic gymnast whenever I see you. I could tell you that you make my heart overcompensate. I could tell you that you’re my beautiful babygirl and I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else. And I’d get to see the reaction firsthand.”

“You’re…” Lauren bites down on her bottom lip and tries to hide her smile, but eventually, the smile wins and Lauren is grinning, showing Camila her adorable bunny teeth. “You have too much of an effect on me, Camz. Seriously.”

Camila just laughs. “I try.”


	20. Chapter 20

“Can’t we just rewind to Christmas?” Camila groans as she sits down in the passenger seat of Lauren’s car. “I don’t want to go back to school.”

“Too bad,” Dinah says from the backseat. “School’s started, get over it. You can’t spend every single day hiding in your room watching Netflix and turning Lauser into as much of a hermit as you are.”

Lauren raises an eyebrow. “Do you want me to kick you out of the car?”

“You _wouldn’t_ ,” Dinah rolls her eyes, “Mani and Ally would question where I am and then you’d get in trouble.”

“I’d tell them you were sick this morning and I had to drop you back at home,” Lauren smirks. “They’d believe me. I’m trustworthy. So don’t be a bitch to my girlfriend, thanks.”

Dinah snorts. “I’m messing with her, Ralph. Not my fault she’s sucking you into her hermit ways.”

“I’m not a hermit!” Camila defends herself. “I just enjoy the indoors.”

“Yeah, she just enjoys the indoors,” Lauren reiterates, “we don’t all go to a party every single night of the week like _you_.”

Dinah laughs. “You used to go to like, _at least_ one per weekend, and now when I invite you out to a party with me, Mani and Ally, you’re like, _can’t, got to finish a TV show with Mila_.”

“First off, I don’t call her Mila. That’s a lame nickname. Camz is much better.” Lauren replies, glancing back at her friend in the rear view mirror. “Second, most parties are the same, anyways. You’ve been to one, you’ve been to them all.”

“You don’t really turn down parties to hang out with me, do you?” Camila asks with a frown. “Because you don’t have to spend your Fridays with me. I can always hang out with my sister.”

Lauren rolls her eyes. “I want to hang out with you, nerd. You’re my girlfriend.”

“But I don’t want to seem like one of those weird controlling girlfriends who stop their significant other from doing what they want because I’m a jealous bitch or something,” Camila rambles, “I trust you, it’s not like you’d cheat on me, so you can go to any parties you want.”

“I know that,” Lauren replies, “but I want to spend my Fridays with you.”

Camila blushes. “Okay. Good. I just- I wanted to make sure that you wanted to stay in with me because you actually _wanted_ to…”

Dinah snorts. “You two are ridiculous. Walz, accept that Lauren is your co-hermit and you’re going to live happily ever after in the land of the introverts.”

Camila rolls her eyes as Lauren pulls up outside of Normani’s house. “I’m not a hermit.”

“You kind of are,” Normani says as she gets in the car. “But it’s cool. We love you anyways.”

Camila pouts. “You’re all ganging up on me. I’m telling on you to Ally.”

“Hey, I’m defending you.” Lauren interrupts. “Tell on them, not me.”

“You weren’t included in that, babe,” Camila sends her a warm smile, “because _you’re_ actually nice to me. You’re my co-hermit.”

“So you admit that you’re a hermit?”

Camila laughs. “Shut up, Dinah.”

They pick Ally up, and when they _finally_ arrive at school, Lauren holds her hand as they walk to class, and it means so much to Camila, because honestly, little twelve year old Karla would’ve killed to hold _any_ girl’s hand, let alone have Lauren Jauregui walk her down the hallway, holding her hand with pride.

They sit at a desk together in the middle of the classroom, and Lauren still doesn’t let go of her hand. When she catches Camila’s eye, she smiles, and gives her a quick peck on the lips before rifling through her backpack for her music folder.

“It means so much to me that you do that,” Camila tells her as Lauren pulls the correct folder from her bag. “PDA. Not overly gross PDA, just… hand holding and innocent kisses. Middle school me would’ve killed for something like that.”

Lauren smiles at her. “I want everyone to know you’re mine. Otherwise I’ll have to glare them to death if they try to make any moves on you.”

“Trust me, nobody could take me away from you.” Camila smiles and squeezes Lauren’s hand. “You’re kind of like my dream girl. And I _just_ realised how dorky that sounded.”

“I like your dorkiness,” Lauren replies, testing her pen on paper, “I’m kind of a closet dork myself, so… it’s a perfect match.”

“You’re not even a closet dork. You’re just a dork,” Camila laughs, “but I love you. So I guess I can live with that.”

Lauren rolls her eyes, but then her gaze lands on something diagonal to Camila. She nods in the direction. “Looks like you’re not the new girl anymore.”

“I haven’t been the new girl for a while,” Camila frowns, but follows Lauren’s gaze. Her eyes land on a short brunette girl who’s walking into the classroom, looking uncertain about where to sit. “Should we invite her over?”

“I don’t think three people can sit on a two person desk,” Lauren points out, “but the desk next to you is free. Go for it, I guess.”

Camila opens her mouth to call the girl over, but then closes it straight away. What if the girl thinks she’s weird for talking to her with no motive? So, she turns to Lauren and mumbles, “You ask.”

Lauren laughs. “You’re the one who wants to be friends.”

Camila pouts. “Everyone is being _so_ mean to me today.”

“You’re being overdramatic, of course I’m not being mean,” Lauren kisses her again, “you don’t have to talk to her if you don’t want to, Camz. But if you do, go talk to her. If it helps, think over what you’re going to say first and-”

“Doesn’t matter,” Camila interrupts. “Mission aborted. She’s sat down.”

Lauren takes her hand and gives it a small squeeze. “I know talking to new people is hard for you, but try to remember that their opinions of you don’t matter, because you’re an amazing person, and anyone would be lucky to be your friend. And if they don’t want to, it’s their loss. Not yours.”

“Thanks, Lo,” Camila smiles, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Lauren replies, “Love you _so_ much.”

Camila flushes at Lauren’s words and looks down at her feet. She decides that if she sees the new girl in one of her classes later, she’ll talk to her, for two reasons. One, she knows what being the new girl is like and how daunting it can be. Two, if she can make _Lauren Jauregui_ fall in love with her, then making friends should be easy as hell.

-

Turns out, she really doesn’t have to make much of an effort.

After spending their fifteen minute break between classes with Lauren, making out in the empty music room, she heads to her math class and sees the new girl sat at her usual table with Normani.

“Oh, hey, Mila!” Normani smiles at her when she walks in. “We missed you in the art room at break. Where were you?”

“Uh, Lauren and I were… studying,” Camila makes up as she sits down in her usual seat, fully aware of the new girl next to her. “Um, who’s this?”

“You would’ve met her if you and Laur weren’t busy _‘studying’_ ,” Normani sends her an amused look, showing Camila that she didn’t at all believe her lie, “This is Ariana Grande. She just moved here.”

Camila sends her a shy smile. “Nice to meet you. I’m Camila.”

“You were in my music class this morning, right? I think I saw you in there,” Ariana replies. “Do you play any instruments?”

“Guitar,” Camila says, though she really hopes Ariana won’t ask to hear her play sometimes. She’s not played for _Lauren_ yet, and she trusts Lauren more than anyone. “I sing a little too.”

“I sing too,” Ariana tells her with a smile, “I’ve actually been writing songs for a while.”

“I love song writing,” Camila grins, thankful that she has some common ground with Ariana. That makes it ten times easier to make friends. “It’s so great to get your thoughts out on paper, and music is an amazing way to express that.”

“Whoa, new person,” Dinah sits down before Ariana can respond to Camila. “Hi. Dinah Jane Hansen. Nice to meet you.”

“Uh, you too,” Ariana replies, before looking to Normani, “so, um, how many friends do you actually have? It seems like a lot.”

Normani raises an eyebrow. “Nervous around new people?”

Before Ariana can reply, Camila sends her a sympathetic smile. “I totally get that. Don’t worry, our other two friends are really nice. Ally’s a literal ray of sunshine and Lauren is-”

“I’m going to stop you before you start, Walz,” Dinah laughs, turning to Ariana with a smirk, “you get Mila talking about Lauren and she’ll never stop.”

“Hey, don’t be mean,” Camila pouts, “I don’t talk about her that much.”

“Uh-huh, sure,” Dinah bobs her head in reply before turning to Ariana and miming _yes she does_. “But anyway, Walz is right, we’re all really nice.”

“Dinah’s a little loud but you get used to the volume,” Normani cuts in, rolling her eyes when Dinah gives her a playful shove and tells her to shut up. “But Mila’s totally right. Ally’s probably the nicest person on planet earth and while Lauren seems intimidating, she’s really not.”

Camila laughs, because she’s definitely right. She was incredibly intimidated by Lauren, both in middle school and high school, but her girlfriend is probably the definition of _dork._

(And the definition of _bottom_ , but Camila’s not about to announce that to the room.)

So, when they make it through class and get to the art room for lunch, Camila sits down next to Lauren and introduces her to Ariana. And when Lauren’s a little too tense, Camila rests her hand on Lauren’s thigh under the table and makes sure to tease her by moving her hand up slowly, pulling it away when it’s inches from Lauren’s clothed centre and her girlfriend’s cheeks have turned bright red.

Then, Camila kisses Lauren just under the ear and murmurs, “Be nice, babygirl.”

Lauren nods in reply and takes Camila’s hand, before clearing her throat and going back to eating her lunch.

“Camila?” Ariana gets her attention and then motions between her and Lauren. “Are you two together?”

“Yep,” Camila proudly replies, “Right, Lo?”

“Oh, um, yeah,” Lauren nods in reply, before her gaze catches with Camila’s and her face breaks out into a soft smile. “Yeah. We’re together and she’s the best thing that ever happened to me.”

Camila’s stomach flips. “You really mean that?”

“Duh,” Lauren rolls her eyes and squeezes her hand, “you’re like, the best person ever. And you’re all mine, so… that’s a win for Team Jauregui, I think.”

“Yeah, not only are they together, they’re also super cheesy and it’ll make you want to puke,” Dinah points out, “but I’m their captain, so I guess I’m okay with it.”

Ariana frowns. “Their captain?”

“Like, the captain of the ship.” Ally explains. “She even created a ship name for them.”

“Camren,” Normani adds, “We know, she’s weird, but we love her anyway.”

“I mean, I mostly did it to get on Ralph’s nerves,” Dinah points out, sending Lauren a teasing grin, “it’s so easy to push her buttons.”

Camila feels Lauren tense next to her and makes sure to squeeze her girlfriend’s hand comfortingly as the conversation moves onto other topics. Instead of contributing, Camila shares some chips with Lauren and tries to perk her girlfriend up by telling as many awful jokes as she can think of.

It works – Lauren’s beaming by the second pun – but Camila’s not sure if her jokes are actually _funny_ or if Lauren’s laughing to make her happy, but she doesn’t care, because her girlfriend is smiling and that’s all she really wants.

“I’m going to show Ariana to the cafeteria,” Ally announces, but Camila’s a little too busy telling bad jokes to pay much attention. “See you guys in a little while.”

“Laur?” Camila asks once Ally and Ariana have left and Lauren’s started eating her lunch again. “Can we do something tonight?”

Lauren nods in reply. “Sure. You want to come over? My mom would probably love that. Pretty sure she wants to adopt you.”

Camila laughs. “Well, I _am_ a big hit with parents. Yours probably like me because I’m not a fuckboy and that’s pretty much your taste in men.”

Normani snorts, “Too real.”

“I- no, I’ve dated…” Lauren trails off in thought, “Keaton was alright.”

Camila raises her eyebrows. “Yeah, _sure.”_

“Fine, have fun being lonely tonight.” Lauren replies. “I suddenly remember I had a prior commitment.”

“ _Laur_ ,” Camila frowns. “Hang out with me tonight.”

Lauren stares at her for a moment before sighing. “I hate your puppy dog eyes. _Fine_ , I’m free.”

“Good. Love you,” Camila sends her a teasing smile, “I’m finally letting you introduce me to _American Horror Story_ if that cheers you up.”

Lauren grins. “Yes, because it gives me an excuse to cuddle you. Not that I need one, but… still. I like cuddling with you.”

“More like you enjoy using me as a pillow,” Camila laughs, “but I don’t mind. You’re always really warm and your hair is fun to play with.”

“Wait,” Dinah interrupts, “Ralph, did Mila just say _she_ holds _you_?”

Lauren blinks in confusion. “Uh… yeah? What’s so weird about that?”

“I don’t know, I always figured it’d be you holding her,” Dinah shrugs, “you’re making me fail as a captain here, Lauser. You’ve got to give me these essential details.”

Lauren raises her eyebrows. “I think you’re a little too invested in this ship.”

“You’re my OTP, I have to be invested,” Dinah answers, “it’s only you that thinks it’s weird, anyway. Mila’s fine with it.”

“No, I think it’s weird too, but mostly just because _you’re_ weird in general.” Camila answers, sending her best friend a teasing grin. “Lauren’s just not widely versed in the world of shipping.”

“True,” Lauren agrees. “I get fictional characters, like, Clarke and Lexa’s relationship made me _almost_ read a fanfiction, but-”

“Don’t even _mention_ Clexa,” Camila interrupts, “That makes me sad.”

Lauren laughs. “That’s why I said I _almost_ read a fanfic. Because I was upset about Lexa.”

Camila snorts. “I bet you read loads of smutty fanfics. _Almost_ my ass.”

“Nope, never,” Lauren insists, “but I mean, let’s be real, it’s inevitable that I’ll read one, because Dinah and Mani are probably going to collaborate on a weird ass fanfiction about us while Ally lectures them about how inappropriate it is.”

Camila snorts with laughter. “That’s too real.”

“You’re such a bitch sometimes, Lauser,” Dinah rolls her eyes, “Mani and I would _never_. Norminah fanfic would be way hotter.”

Lauren rolls her eyes. “Crazy. All of you. I’m friends with a bunch of psychos.”

“You love us, though,” Normani counters. “Especially Mila, and she’s like, the craziest.”

“It’s true,” Camila agrees, kissing Lauren’s cheek. “Anyway, Laur, I want to go for a walk. Come with me?”

Lauren smiles. “Sure. Just let me finish my lunch. Want my candy bar?”

Dinah coughs. “Whipped.”

“Fuck off, DJ,” Lauren retorts, sliding her candy bar over to Camila as she finishes her apple. “’m ready to walk. Where are we going?”

“To the great outdoors,” Camila announces, grabbing Lauren by her wrist and pulling her out of the room. “We’re going on an expedition to the treacherous heights of Mount Everest.”

“Really?” Lauren frowns, tossing her apple core in the nearest trash can as Camila pulls her along. “That sounds like a bit too much physical activity for you. I thought the most exercise you did was walking from your couch to your fridge.”

“Don’t expose me,” Camila pouts. “But maybe Everest is a little _too_ adventurous for today. You know, since we’re trapped in the confines of school. But the next time we’re free, we’re jetting off to… wherever the hell Everest is-”

“Nepal,” Lauren interrupts her, “your general knowledge isn’t shining through here, Camz.”

“Shush,” Camila blushes, “I don’t take geography, I don’t know where things are.”

“Except you probably know the location of your fridge down to the exact coordinates,” Lauren nudges her playfully, “but it’s cool. I kind of love that about you.”

Camila kisses her cheek and leads her to a bench in the school’s empty courtyard. “The wedding is in two weeks. You’re still coming, right? Because I really want to go to Cuba with you.”

“Wouldn’t miss it, Camz,” Lauren promises, “I’m really looking forward to it. I’ve never been someone’s wedding date before, so it should be fun. Also… you _did_ mention that there’s an open bar, and I’m not passing _that_ up. Free champagne? Hell yeah.”

“Don’t get too drunk,” Camila says, “you need to be coherent for, uh, something else.”

Lauren smirks. “Something else?”

“Yeah,” Camila mumbles, squeezing Lauren’s hand. “Calling room service and ordering a fancy hamburger.”

Lauren snorts. “I’d rather go to McDonald’s. Room service food is never that good for the price you pay.”

“My goal in life is to find the perfect hamburger,” Camila decides, “and you’re going to help me with that in Cuba.”

Lauren rolls her eyes. “What’s the point? If you find it in Cuba, it’s not like you’ll be able to have one every week or whatever. Then you’d be sad.”

“True,” Camila hums in agreement. “Whatever, we’ll work it out. Either way, I’m excited to show off my really hot, way out of my league girlfriend.”

Lauren frowns. “You didn’t tell me you had more than one girlfriend. That’s rude.”

“Lo,” Camila squeezes her hand. “You’re so beautiful and-”

“Disengage the rant,” Lauren interrupts, “I was joking. Am I not allowed to joke?”

“No, you are, I just… don’t like it when you do it in a self-deprecating way,” Camila says. “Because you’re my favourite person in the world, and you should be your own favourite person, too.”

Lauren raises an eyebrow. “You’re my favourite, though. Nobody is going to knock you off that pedestal. Even me.”

“Fine,” Camila rolls her eyes, “second favourite. That’s what you should be.”

“We’ll work up to that,” Lauren squeezes her hand. “I’m trying, okay? And that’s what counts.”

Camila smiles. “I’m proud of you for that. You know to call if you ever need me, right? Even if it’s just that there’s a spider in your house. And I’d be useless in that situation.”

“Mani’s the one I call for that,” Lauren laughs. “Because you’re right, you’d scream like a six year old and burn my house down to get rid of it.”

“True,” Camila laughs and kisses her. “I’ve like, already packed for Cuba.”

“Is that why you want to come over tonight?” Lauren asks. “To make me pack?”

Camila grins. “That’s the plan. You know, since I’m _so_ organised.”

Lauren rolls her eyes. “Come on, nerd. Let’s go back to the girls.”

Camila follows her with a smile.


	21. Chapter 21

“Fuck, I hate planes,” Lauren mumbles as she buckles her seatbelt up. “Like, this seatbelt isn’t much good if we’re falling out of the sky at like, a _billion_ miles per hour. Did you know that the whole position they make you sit in in a crash kills you? It snaps your neck but preserves your teeth so they can identify you through your dental records. They _want_ you to die, because if you live you could sue.”

“That’s… a little dark,” Camila takes in Lauren’s long winded explanation. “Are you sure that’s not a conspiracy theory. I don’t think airlines want their passengers to die in a crash-”

“They care about money because we live in a capitalist society and money rules our lives,” Lauren interrupts her, pulling her stuffed Nala out of her carry-on and placing it in her lap. “If you lived and sued them, they’d lose millions.”

“Well… okay,” Camila grabs Lauren’s hand after buckling up her own seatbelt, “if we crash, we won’t do what they tell us, then. And we’ll survive and sue them for everything they’ve got.”

Lauren rolls her eyes. “Even if we didn’t die from the initial impact, it’d probably explode and we’d die in that.”

“Okay, let’s stop talking about plane crashes, though. Considering we’re on a damn plane.” Camila leans over and kisses Lauren’s cheek. “Besides, it’s only an hour and a half. We’ll be off the plane before you know it.”

“Still don’t like them,” Lauren mutters, pulling Nala up to her chest. “I’m going to sleep. At least if we’re in a crash, I won’t know about it.”

“I told Sofi to sit with my parents because I thought you’d entertain me,” Camila pouts as Lauren puts her earbuds in. “You’re the worst, Laur.”

“It’s like, six a.m. I don’t know what you’re expecting,” Lauren rubs at her eyes. “I didn’t sleep much last night, so…”

“Give me an earbud,” Camila holds her hand out, and Lauren complies, “I want to listen to music with you. Especially if you’re going to sleep.”

“Stop looking at me with your sad little puppy dog eyes,” Lauren practically orders her. “I’m _tired_ and you’re making me feel bad for ditching you.”

“Ten minutes?” Camila asks. “I won’t like, make you stay awake for the whole flight.”

“Why’d your parents book an early flight anyways?” Lauren asks. “I thought the wedding wasn’t until the afternoon.”

“It’s not, but my dad likes getting places early. Plus we need to check into the hotel and stuff,” Camila explains, her heart stopping when Lauren rests her head on her shoulder. She puts an arm around her girlfriend and smiles. “You can have a quick nap at the hotel, too. We’ll get there at seven, then we have a twenty minute drive to the hotel. The reception is at twelve in the hotel’s ballroom thing, so you can have a couple of hours sleep while my parents talk to family members and stuff.”

Lauren hums in thought. “Are we sharing a hotel room?”

“I managed to convince my parents that we’re trustworthy, so yes,” Camila confirms, “and don’t worry, you’re allowed to come back up here and take breaks from my family if they’re needed. I don’t want you to be overwhelmed or anything.”

“It’s fine, Camz,” Lauren flashes her a smile and Camila’s stomach flips. _God_ , she’s so in love with this girl. “I’m actually quite the charmer. By the end of this wedding, your family will be shoving us towards the minister, I’m _that_ good.”

Camila laughs. “Trust me, I’d know. You used a lot of your charm on me when we first met.”

“That’s because you’re hot,” Lauren points out, glancing up at her embarrassed girlfriend, “ _what_? It’s true, don’t look all surprised.”

Camila shrugs and takes her girlfriend’s hand, playing with her fingers. “I still can’t get over you calling me hot. Or just… complimenting me in general.”

“The Jauregui charm will do that to you,” Lauren nudges her and sends her a sleepy smile, “but on a serious note, you’re incredibly beautiful, Camz. But I’m also incredibly _tired_ , so I’m going to nap. You can wake me up in twenty minutes, okay? But I’m literally falling asleep right now.”

Before Camila can invite Lauren to cuddle her, the older Latina snuggles up to her, Nala in her arms, and closes her eyes. So, Camila kisses her on the top of her head and says, “Sweet dreams, Laur.”

Camila lets Lauren sleep for around half an hour, and occupies herself by talking to Sofi through the gap in the seats in front of them, and playing with Lauren’s messy hair. Her girlfriend had literally gone through the entire airport in her pyjamas, and while Camila had laughed at her for that, now she’s sort of wishing she’d done the same thing. Jeans on a plane aren’t comfortable at all.

Once she’s bored and Sofi turns back around again, busy colouring in the book her parents and brought with them, Camila nudges Lauren. “Lo. Wake up.”

Lauren lets out a groan and snuggles up to her. “No.”

“Don’t be bitchy and get your ass up.” Camila pokes her in the side. “I let you sleep for a half hour and I’m bored. I want my girlfriend to entertain me.”

“’kay,” Lauren mumbles, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand. “What time is it?”

“Twenty minutes to seven,” Camila tells her, checking her phone, “yeah. We have like, an hour until we’re at the airport.”

“Alright,” Lauren sits up and yawns. “What do you want to do to kill time?”

“Normally I’d suggest making out, but… you know,” Camila shrugs, “we’re in a public place and we’ll be doing plenty of that later.”

Lauren digs through her carry-on again and pulls out a deck of cards. “We could play some card games? Nothing complicated… maybe snap?”

“Okay,” Camila nods, and Lauren slides the cards out of their packaging and shuffles them a little bit. As Lauren is dealing out the pack, Camila puts her tray table down so they have a little more surface. “Are you any good at card games?”

“Yeah. I kick my parents’ butt every time we have a family game night. We play for money – only quarters, but still – and I always win,” Lauren proudly announces. “I’ll teach you poker one day, if you want. Maybe crib, too.”

“If it’s too complicated, I won’t be able to follow,” Camila warns her, “My head might explode.”

Lauren laughs as she picks up her cards, “Maybe we won’t risk that happening, then. I kind of like your head the way it is. Pretty and unexploded.”

Camila laughs. “The fact that you can say something like that and make me blush just kind of proves how much I love you.”

“Like I said before, I’m quite the charmer,” Lauren winks at her and Camila’s insides do some sort of backflip. “Anyway, you can start. Lay your first card.”

Camila does as Lauren says and puts a card down on the tray table. They go on for a while, laying cards that don’t match, until Lauren puts down the ace of spades and Camila drops the ace of diamonds on top of it.

Camila, not realising, gets quickly beaten out by Lauren, who yells _snap_ and grabs the cards, adding them to her pile.

Camila scowls. “Damn you, Jauregui.”

“Not my fault you weren’t paying enough attention,” Lauren grins and puts another card down. “Go on, then. Or have you already run out of cards?”

“I have _plenty_ of cards left _, thanks_ ,” Camila shoots back, noting that her pile of cards is significantly smaller than Lauren’s. She has about ten left. “I could bring this back.”

“Yeah, if your reactions are as slow as they were last time, I highly doubt that,” Lauren points out with a teasing grin, tossing another card onto the slowly growing middle pile. “Like I said, I’m unbeatable.”

Sure enough, when Camila lays her last card, and Lauren matches it with another six, the younger Latina is a little too slow, and Lauren ends up with the full deck in her hand and a smirk on her face.

“You’re the worst,” Camila groans, “screw the card games. Let’s do something else.”

“Afraid you’re going to lose to me again?” Lauren smirks. “Whatever. Sure. We’ll do something else.”

Not wanting to admit to Lauren that she doesn’t want to lose another game, she changes the subject. “Are we doing anything for Valentine’s day? It’s not too far away and… I want to do something with you. Obviously. Because you’re my girlfriend.”

Lauren laughs. “Of course we’re doing something. I’ll take you out somewhere nice for a romantic evening.”

“Okay,” Camila smiles, “good. I’ve never actually had a valentine before, so… I’m a little excited. Valentine’s Day used to be my least favourite day of the year, actually. At my old school, everyone would hand out valentines to each other. I never got any.”

“I’ll make you a card,” Lauren assures her, “and I’ll slip it in your locker and sign it with a question mark so you’ll have no idea who sent it to you. I know, it’s an ingenious plan.”

Camila blushes. “You can just buy me a card from the dollar store or something. I don’t mind…”

“Dollar store card?” Lauren scoffs. “Nope. You deserve the best, so I’m making you one.”

“Okay,” Camila nods and kisses Lauren’s cheek, “oh, by the way… it’s probably too late to remind you now, but do you have a swimming costume with you? The hotel has a pool with some waterslides, so…”

“I brought my bikini,” Lauren tells her, “but I’m not going on any waterslides. I’ll swim with you, though.”

“Why not?” Camila frowns. “Waterslides are fun! They’re my favourite part of swimming. It sucks that the pool at your house doesn’t have one, but your house has you, so I don’t complain much.”

Lauren rolls her eyes. “You know why I don’t like them, Camz. I’ve told you and I’m not repeating the story.”

“Oh. Right,” Camila says when the realisation dawns on her, remembering Lauren’s dislike for waterparks. “I didn’t realise it was on a slide when your swimsuit ripped-”

Lauren cuts her off. “Yes, it was, and I _just_ said I didn’t want it brought up.”

Not liking Lauren’s tone, Camila cringes and looks down at her feet. “Sorry. I- I was just… maybe we can… help you get over that? And go on slides together?”

“I don’t think so,” Lauren shakes her head, but puts an arm around her and gives her a soft squeeze. “Sorry for snapping at you a little. Wasn’t thinking.”

Camila kisses her. “It’s okay.”

“I love you,” Lauren rests her head on Camila’s shoulder again. “I’m no good on no sleep. I get kind of cranky, so… maybe avoid topics like that?”

“Okay,” Camila nods, running her fingers through Lauren’s hair. “Um… anyway, I- I’m excited to get to the hotel. I’m pretty sleepy too.”

“What’s the entire plan for the day?” Lauren asks. “Like, what’s the general schedule? I’m asking because I want to know when the open bar will come into play.”

Camila laughs. “The reception is at twelve, and then there’s the buffet and all of the speeches and stuff, and after that we’ll probably go up to the hotel again for a little while they get everything set up for the after party, which starts at six. That’s when you can get tipsy.”

Lauren nods. “What time is our flight back tomorrow? I told my mom I’d text her when we land.”

“Four. Not in the morning, before you freak out,” Camila says, “so we’ll have a little time to explore the next day.”

“Okay,” Lauren leans up and kisses her cheek, “I look forward to it. Thanks for inviting me, Camz.”

“You don’t need to thank me!” Camila assures her. “I really wanted a date for the wedding. It’s the perfect opportunity to show off my amazing girlfriend in front of my relatives. And we can slow dance! You can dance, right? I… can’t, but is that really much of a shock?”

“Nope. You trip over your own feet at least three times a day.” Lauren teases her. “Don’t worry. I’ll lead.”

Camila smirks. “That’s literally the only time you’ll ever be the dominant one in this relationship.”

“Shut up,” Lauren rolls her eyes, “I can be. If I want. I just never really want to.”

“Mhm,” Camila hums in reply. “Because you’re my beautiful babygirl.”

Red creeps up Lauren’s neck and floods into her cheeks, and she looks away, refusing to meet Camila’s eye. “Not in public.”

Camila laughs and kisses the top of Lauren’s head as her girlfriend cuddles up to her. “You know I’m just teasing. I think it’s cute.”

Lauren sends her a small smile. “I’m taking another nap now. Bye.”

As Lauren closes her eyes, Camila frowns. “No, you’re not. I want to talk.”

“We’ll talk after nap number two. On the way to the hotel. And at the wedding,” Lauren lists, “we have plenty of talking time and not enough sleeping time. Wake me up if you need me, but not if the plane starts to crash. I’d rather be completely unaware.”

Camila rolls her eyes. “The plane isn’t going to crash.”

“Well, you’ve jinxed it now,” Lauren smirks, “night, Camz.”

Instead of protesting, Camila lets Lauren sleep, because her girlfriend is pretty adorable when she’s sleeping and it’s a nice sight. Also, cuddling Lauren is one of Camila’s favourite activities.

-

Once they arrive at the hotel and get checked into their room, Camila actually ends up having a nap herself. Lauren curls up next to her on the bed, and she’s asleep in seconds – the older Latina was especially groggy through baggage claim and the drive to the hotel – and Camila finds that napping with Lauren is the best kind of napping.

When her alarm goes off, Camila is surprised that she actually feels a little refreshed. She tries to get up off the bed, but Lauren’s grip on her tightens, and the older girl burrows further into her, hiding her face in Camila’s neck.

“Laur,” Camila rolls her eyes, “We need to get up. We have to get ready for the wedding.”

“Don’t want to,” Lauren mumbles, “cuddle me.”

Camila laughs and kisses the top of her head. “I’m getting up whether you like it or not.”

“No,” Lauren groans, “I’ll beat you up if you move.”

Camila snorts and detaches herself from Lauren’s grip. “Okay, sure, princess. Of course you will.”

Lauren sits up at rubs at her eyes with the back of her hands. “Just because I like being called princess, doesn’t mean I can’t fuck you up if I want. I’m pretty tough.”

Camila laughs and unzips her suitcase, pulling out the neatly folded dress she’s wearing today. “Even if you’re as tough as you say you are, you’re not intimidating. Mostly because you’re all talk, Jauregui.”

Lauren shrugs and ignores her words. “Is that the dress you’re wearing?”

Camila holds up the baby blue dress she’d decided on wearing. Well, her mom had picked it out when she was being indecisive, but she’d agreed on it. “Yeah.”

“You’re going to look even more beautiful than you already do,” Lauren flashes her a smile and gets off the bed, walking over to her own suitcase. “I’m wearing black. Not much of a shock there.”

Camila laughs. “Really? Thought you’d be wearing neon yellow, to be honest.”

“Totally,” Lauren grins, “my wardrobe is so full of bright colours. Obviously.”

“Put your dress on,” Camila orders, “I want to see what it looks like. I’ll put mine on too.”

Lauren rolls her eyes and unzips her suitcase, pulling out a long black dress which Camila already knows is going to hug her curves and make her look gorgeous, because it’s the dress Lauren wore on their first real date. “I’ll be right back.”

“I already know you look hot in that,” Camila grins, “you were wearing that when I kissed you for the first time.”

Lauren shrugs. “I wasn’t sure you’d remember what I was wearing. Sorry for recycling a dress, but this is the only one I own that I look okay in, so…”

Camila frowns. “You’d look good in a fucking trash bag, Laur. Don’t put yourself down.”

“I’m- I’m not putting myself down,” Lauren mumbles, turning on her heel and opening the bathroom door. “I’m going to get changed.”

Before Camila can say anything else, Lauren disappears into the bathroom and slams the door behind her. She feels like kicking herself, because she _knows_ that the topic of Lauren’s body image isn’t the best one, but it kills her to see her girlfriend so insecure.

When Lauren comes out of the bathroom again in her dress, Camila puts her dress down on the bed and walks over to Lauren, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend’s waist. “You are _so_ beautiful. And I want you to say it.”

Lauren stares at her for a moment and squeezes her hand. “You’re beautiful, Camz.”

Camila rolls her eyes as Lauren grabs her makeup bag from her case and sits down in front of the mirror. “You know what I meant.”

Lauren turns around and opens her mouth, probably to tell her that she’s being stupid or to change the subject, but Camila doesn’t let her.

Nope. Because Camila Cabello never gives up when she wants something. And she wants Lauren to know that she’s absolutely beautiful.

“Before you bite my head off or tell me to shut up,” Camila cuts over Lauren, “I want you to say it. Yell at me all you like after, but I want you to feel as beautiful as you are, babygirl.”

Lauren’s cheeks turn pink at the pet name, and Camila takes that as a good sign. “I- I don’t know why you care so much.”

“Because I love you,” Camila shrugs, and tugs Lauren towards the bed. She sits her girlfriend down and pulls her into her arms, playing with Lauren’s hair. “I want you to love yourself as much as I do.”

“I mean…” Lauren shrugs, “I guess I- I know I’m okay looking. It’s just the stuff I can change that I need to work on and then I’ll feel better about- about everything.”

Camila shakes her head. “Not good enough. Say it. No ‘ _I guess_ ’ and no _‘okay looking_ ’. Tell me how beautiful you really are.”

“I- I’m…” Lauren trails off, “this is pointless.”

“I’m not going to let you do your makeup until you say it,” Camila replies, “and trust me, I’m stubborn. The longer you wait, the more likely it is that I’ll be going to the wedding in my PJ’s and you’ll be makeup free and sporting your bedhead.”

Lauren huffs. “ _Fine_. I’m beautiful. There, I said it. Happy?”

“Very,” Camila flashes her a smile and kisses her cheek, “now we’ve just got to get your stubborn ass to believe it.”

“I’m not stubborn,” Lauren mumbles, “your _face_ is stubborn.”

“Wow, my girlfriend is so mature,” Camila laughs, “anyway, can I do your makeup for you? Gives me an excuse to stare at your pretty face for longer.”

“I guess so,” Lauren shrugs, “Only if you let me do yours.”

“Deal,” Camila smiles, “I don’t want you to do your hair though. It looks so fluffy right now.”

“Is that a good thing?” Lauren frowns. “I was just going to curl it. But use my straighteners because I don’t own a curling iron.”

“Leave your hair as it is. You look cute,” Camila tells her, her stomach flipping when Lauren kisses her and rests her head on her shoulder. “You’re the type of person whose bedhead can pass for an intentional look.”

Lauren snorts. “So if we’re deciding on each other’s look, I think we should braid your hair. I’m literally your hair and makeup team right now.”

Camila laughs and grabs her dress. “This is the perk of having a girlfriend. You can braid each other’s hair and do their makeup. And it doubles your wardrobe, too. Damn. I’m so glad I’m gay.”

“Well, dating you has worked out better than any of my other relationships,” Lauren shrugs, “you wouldn’t cheat or… just generally be an idiot. I guess that’s another perk of having a girlfriend. Girls are smart.”

“Either that or you finally learned to pick the right people,” Camila teases her, “I’m going to put my dress on. I’ll be right back.”

Lauren kisses her goodbye, and once Camila has gotten into her dress, she comes back into the room to see Lauren sorting through her makeup.

“Okay, I don’t have any zits right now, so I guess just focus on making my eyes pop?” Lauren says, but when she looks up, whatever she’s going to say next fades into the background. “Wow. You… you look amazing, Camz.”

“I- thank you,” Camila blushes and sits down next to her girlfriend, “so, you were saying? About makeup…”

“Oh, yeah, I was thinking just some eyeliner and mascara,” Lauren snaps out of whatever trance she’s in and looks back down at the makeup, “maybe lipstick too? I don’t know. Also, I’m going to let you decide, since I brought both – nose ring or nose stud?”

Camila looks up at her girlfriend with a frown. Lauren has the ring in right now, but she kind of prefers the stud on her. Weird, because on other people, she generally likes the ring more. “Stud.”

“Okay, I’ll change it in a minute,” Lauren says, “first I’m going to braid your hair.”

“Alright,” Camila nods as Lauren shifts to sit behind her and starts braiding her hair. “Make me into Katniss Everdeen.”

Lauren laughs. “What, are you planning on fighting to the death after this wedding or something? Starting a rebellion? Honestly, with Trump in power, go for it. I’ll help you overthrow the government in any way I can.”

Camila grins. “You know, my mom said he’d probably get assassinated and I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re the one to do it.”

“If the opportunity presented itself, I wouldn’t waste it,” Lauren shrugs, “I’d waste _him_.”

“I’d help,” Camila assures her, “that way we’ll both get thrown in jail and we can go on cute dates to each other’s prison cells.”

Lauren sends her a teasing smirk. “I’d wear my best orange jumpsuit for you.”

“You’re so sweet,” Camila laughs, her stomach flipping ten times over when Lauren finishes braiding her hair and kisses her just under the ear. “Anyway, are you… excited to meet my family members?”

Lauren grins. “I’m mostly excited for the open bar, but yeah. Family members are nice too.”

Camila rolls her eyes. “Don’t get too drunk tonight, okay? I don’t want our fir- I mean, I don’t want to have to deal with drunk Lauren. In case my family members think you’re weird.”

Lauren smirks. “Mhm. That’s totally the reason. But I told you, I’m only going to have a little champagne. The drinking age here is sixteen and I’m taking advantage of that.”

“I’ll take you on a trip to Colorado one day,” Camila promises, “that way you can enjoy another one of your favourite things being legal.”

Lauren snorts. “You’re making me sound like such a weirdo. Weed and alcohol aren’t my favourite things, even though I like them. You’re my favourite thing.”

Camila’s insides do a backflip. “I am?”

“You are,” Lauren confirms, “and I’m so happy I get to be here with you.”

Camila shrugs. “I didn’t want to go to a wedding without a date.”

“I don’t mean that,” Lauren replies, “I mean just like… being here. Existing in the same time period. Meeting again after like five years and falling in love.”

“Oh,” Camila flushes. “Yeah, I’m… I’m happy about that too.”

-

“That’s your last glass of champagne,” Camila says as Lauren sits down next to her, “you’ve had three already.”

Lauren laughs. “I’m not a lightweight, Camz. I can handle three glasses of champagne.”

“Four, if you count the one you’re about to drink,” Camila points out, taking a sip of her own champagne. She’d been nursing the one glass since the wedding’s after party had started. “Do you want to dance, maybe?”

Lauren holds out her hand and puts her champagne on the table, “I thought you’d never ask.”

Camila pulls her to the dancefloor, thankful that it’s a slow song – those are generally alright for casual swaying instead of her actual attempts at dance moves – and when Lauren’s hands rest on her shoulders, she carefully places her hands on her girlfriend’s waist.

“I suck at dancing,” Camila says, “I’m like the mom in _Mean Girls_.”

“You make up for it by being cute,” Lauren counters, “besides, I’m not exactly a professional dancer myself. Like, ballroom dancing, I mean. Either way, I’m definitely not on Mani’s level. She could do mom dancing and look good.”

Camila hums in agreement. “True. Dinah’s not far off, either.”

Lauren laughs. “You know, your abuela complimented my dragonfly tattoo. We had a very lengthy conversation about tattoos and how she’d kill you if you got one.”

“Wait, so she’s complimenting you on your tattoos, which you got _underage_ ,” Camila starts, “but she’d murder me if I got one when I turn eighteen? Right, that’s it, I’m getting a tattoo just to be a bitch.”

Lauren laughs. “I told her about my next one, actually. She thought it was a very sweet idea.”

“Oh, you’re totally going to get my face on one of your ass cheeks, right?” Camila jokes, not surprised at all when Lauren laughs. “So romantic, Laur.”

“I mean, if you paid me a million dollars, maybe I would,” Lauren shrugs, “but no. I’m getting my abuela’s name on my wrist. Probably for my eighteenth birthday since I was grounded for like, ten years for my last tattoos, mostly because of the whole underage thing.”

Camila hums in thought. “Yeah. That _is_ sweet. So… my face on your butt is the _fourth_ tattoo, then?”

“Like I said, pay me a million dollars and maybe I’ll consider it,” Lauren sends her a smirk. “You’re a dork, Camz.”

“I own my dorkiness,” Camila says, frowning when the song changes to something more upbeat. “I don’t want to dance to fast songs.”

Lauren pulls her in for a kiss and walks her back over to the table. “Okay. We’ll wait for another slow song.”

“Unless you’re tired,” Camila offers, her heart rate picking up when she thinks about what she’s planned for tonight. “We could… head up to our room.”

“Yeah. I like that idea.” Lauren grabs her glass of champagne and drinks it in one go. When Camila rolls her eyes, she laughs. “What? No point in wasting it.”

“Come on,” Camila grabs Lauren’s hand and pulls her towards the door, stopping momentarily to tell her rather tipsy mother that they’re heading up to bed.

Since they’re only on the third floor of the hotel, Lauren insists that they take the stairs, because apparently elevators make her feel a little claustrophobic. After a few minutes of heading up the stairs, Lauren giggling when Camila trips up one of them, they arrive outside the room and Camila pulls the key card out of her purse.

Once she pushes the door open and flips the light on, she pushes Lauren up against the door and reaches behind her girlfriend to put the chain on the door and lock it. “We don’t want my parents to interrupt.”

Lauren stares at her, her bright green eyes wide, “You’re-”

Camila cuts her off with a rough kiss. After what Lucy had told her, she’s going to go all out, because she wants this to be as amazing as possible for Lauren. When she pulls away, she sends Lauren a smirk, her eyes raking appreciatively up and down her girlfriend’s body. “Don’t act like you don’t know what I’ve been planning.”

“I- I just wasn’t expecting it…” Lauren trails off, biting down on her bottom lip, “kiss me.”

Camila kisses her just off the corner of her mouth. “You don’t get to tell me what to do, babygirl.”

Lauren’s breath catches in her throat, and Camila can tell she’s turned on. “Camz…”

This time, Camila dots kisses across Lauren’s soft jawline as she pulls her girlfriend over to the bed. “Let’s get you out of that dress.”

Lauren doesn’t protest as Camila unzips her dress at the back, kissing down her girlfriend’s neck and feeling satisfied when she hears Lauren’s moans. When she goes to take her girlfriend’s dress off completely, Lauren stops her.

“Camz, I- I’m not… I know you haven’t seen my body properly yet and- and I’m not…” Lauren bites down on her bottom lip and shrugs, “I’m not… like you.”

Camila kisses her and takes the dress off, leaving Lauren in her bra and underwear. “I think you’re beautiful, princess.”

Lauren glances up at her as Camila’s fingers play with the clasp of her bra. “Can I- can I take your dress off?”

Camila cups Lauren’s face and pulls her in for a kiss. “Of course you can, baby.”

Lauren unzips her dress, and Camila is quick to take it off and toss it across the room. She’ll deal with picking up the clothes later. “Kiss me again.”

Camila laughs. “Weren’t you listening? You don’t get to boss me around.”

Lauren blushes, but shakes her head. “Camz, just come here.”

Camila smirks and pushes Lauren back against the bed, before she straddles her girlfriend’s lap and pulls her in for another rough kiss. Between kisses, she murmurs, “Lucy told me you liked being put in your place. That’s what I’m going to do.”

“You don’t have to,” Lauren says as Camila’s fingers reach for the clasp of her bra again, “It’s your first time and I want it to be perfect for you. We can… get into the other stuff later.”

“It’s _our_ first time,” Camila corrects her as she unclasps Lauren’s bra and tosses it away, “and _you_ don’t make the rules, princess.”

Lauren opens her mouth, probably to protest about how it doesn’t matter, but Camila promised herself she’s going to make it enjoyable for Lauren, and while she’s not entirely sure about what she’s doing, it seems like it’s eliciting a positive reaction.

So, she takes her girlfriend completely off guard by cupping Lauren’s left breast as she leans in to kiss her again, biting down on Lauren’s bottom lip. Lauren lets out a moan as Camila massages her breast, and when she reaches behind her to take off Camila’s bra, the younger Latina slaps her hand away.

“No touching,” Camila smirks, “not yet.”

With that, Camila trails kisses down Lauren’s neck and sucks on her girlfriend’s pounding pulse point, Lauren’s hands tangled in her hair and the older girl mumbling, “I love you so much.”

Camila pulls away and glances down at the red mark blossoming at the base of Lauren’s neck. “I love you too, babygirl. So much.”

Lauren swallows the lump in her throat and reaches for Camila’s bra clasp again. “Can I…?”

“Mmm… I don’t think so,” Camila shakes her head and shifts to kiss down Lauren’s clavicle, sprinkling little kisses along her girlfriend’s tummy, because Lauren’s tummy is one of her favourite things. “Your body is perfection.”

“I-,” Lauren cuts herself off and pulls Camila up to kiss her, letting out a whine when Camila starts teasing her soaked centre over the thin fabric of the black thong she’s wearing. “ _Camz_ , you’re- you’re so good at this.”

Camila hooks a finger under the hem of Lauren’s underwear and discards it. She teases her girlfriend’s entrance with a finger and smirks a little when Lauren bucks her hips upwards. “Oh, were you wanting something?”

Lauren’s fingers tangle in her hair. “Camz, _please_ just-”

Camila raises an eyebrow and lightly presses her thumb down on Lauren’s clit, not applying nearly enough pressure if she’s judging by her girlfriend’s irritated groan. “Please _what_?”

Lauren pulls her down for a kiss, and buries her face in her girlfriend’s shoulder to muffle the small moan she lets out when Camila presses down on her clit again. Her words come out mumbled. “Fuck me.”

Camila moves her hand away completely and smirks. “Where are your manners, babygirl?”

“God, Camz, _please_ ,” Lauren looks up at her with wide eyes, “ _stop_ teasing me.”

“Since you asked so nicely,” Camila kisses down Lauren’s stomach again until her head is between her girlfriend’s legs. She traces slow circles around Lauren’s clit, eliciting a whine from the older Latina. “Someone’s eager.”

Lauren tangles her fingers in Camila’s hair and pushes her head down. “Faster.”

If anything, Camila sucks on Lauren’s clit slower and teases her girlfriend even more by slipping one finger into her soaked centre and deliberately thrusting it in and out at a sluggish pace. “I didn’t catch that. What’d you say?”

Lauren catches on, and after an irritated whine, forces out, “ _Please_ go faster.”

At Lauren’s words, Camila adds another finger and thrusts faster, all while tracing patterns on Lauren’s clit with her tongue. She experiments a little and curls her fingers inside Lauren, and when she feels her girlfriend’s walls tightening around her fingers and hears Lauren’s moans, she takes it as a good sign.

“You like that, baby?” Camila looks up, seeing just how far she can push teasing her girlfriend, and Lauren groans in annoyance when the younger girl takes her fingers away. “Guess not.”

“N-no, Camz,” Lauren pushes her head back down, soft fingers tangled in Camila’s messy hair, “ _please_ , keep going, I’m so close.”

“You sure?” Camila’s fingers trace light patterns over Lauren’s tummy. “I think I’d rather watch a movie. What do you think, princess?”

Lauren whines in distress. “ _Please_ , Camila.”

Camila smirks. “Doesn’t take much to get you begging, does it?”

“ _Camz,”_ Lauren scowls at her, and in an attempt to placate herself, grinds against Camila’s leg. The younger girl finds it hard not to break whatever character she’s putting on right now and _aw_ at her, because needy Lauren is kind of cute. “ _Please_.”

“Okay, baby,” Camila kisses her just under her ear and teases her a little by nibbling her earlobe, and then quickly thrusts three fingers into Lauren’s wet centre, thrusting them faster and curling them more than before.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Lauren curses, and Camila feels her girlfriend’s walls tightening around her fingers again. Instead of teasing her more, Camila presses down hard on her girlfriend’s clit, and Lauren’s nails dig into her back as she lets out a loud gasp and a, “ _Camz_.”

Camila slows her fingers down as she helps Lauren ride out her orgasm, and only pulls away when her girlfriend is a shaky mess in her arms, Lauren’s face buried in her shoulder. When Lauren is unresponsive for a few moments, Camila runs her fingers through Lauren’s tousled raven hair and kisses the top of her head. “Are you okay, babygirl?”

“I love you,” Lauren mumbles into her shoulder, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Laur,” Camila gives her girlfriend a small squeeze, and meets Lauren’s bright green gaze with a smile. “You’re perfect.”

“Can I…” Lauren trails off and plays with Camila’s bra strap, “can I touch you now?”

Camila smirks and takes her bra off, dropping it on the floor, and pulls Lauren in for another kiss, before getting herself comfortable as her girlfriend pulls her underwear off and leaves it on the floor with her bra.

Camila’s never really been the type of person to think about sex much – she never understood why people loved it so much, and wasn’t sure if she ever would, but when Lauren’s tongue starts teasing her soaking wet core, Camila feels like she might die and go to heaven right then and there.

 _God_ , she’s pretty sure that Lauren has a magical tongue or something, because there’s no way in hell that just anyone can make her feel as good as Lauren is right now. When Lauren starts circling her clit with her tongue, Camila’s breath catches in her throat and she knots her hands in Lauren’s messy hair.

Knowing that she’s already close and worried that her earlier teasing is going to come back to bite her in the ass, Camila mumbles out, “Don’t tease me, Laur.”

Lauren stops for a second to reply. “You make the rules.”

With that, Camila feels her girlfriend gently pump two fingers into her centre, while she keeps kissing and sucking her clit, and the younger Latina is fairly certain she’s never felt as good in her entire life.

When Lauren curls her fingers inside her at just the right place, the younger girl feels pure ecstasy and lets out a loud moan. Her orgasm comes over in waves, and she screws her eyes shut as Lauren moves back up to kiss her, fingers still gently thrusting in and out as she dots kisses around Camila’s face.

“Jesus fucking _Christ_ ,” Camila says when she’s finally brought back to earth, “you’re like, magic or something. Fuck.”

When she meets her girlfriend, she realises that submissive and needy Lauren is gone, replaced by cocky and smirking Lauren. “Don’t use Jesus’s name in vain, Camz. You’re probably going to hell for that.”

“I’m already gay, pretty sure my place in hell is already secured,” Camila jokes, pulling Lauren close to her, “ _god_ , you were amazing. I hope- if I made you feel even a fraction of that… I just really hope it was good for you.”

“I- it was, yeah,” Lauren bites down on her bottom lip, “You’re, uh, really good at the whole… dominating and teasing thing. I was surprised. Been watching porn as a study guide?”

“No, actually, that was all me,” Camila admits awkwardly, “I was sort of… playing a character. The confident version of myself that… that one day, hopefully, I’ll be all the time. You know, not just in a sexual context.”

“We should clean up. In case your parents or sister decide to make a surprise visit. I know the door has the chain on, but they can see in a little from that.” Lauren moves off the bed, and Camila pouts, because she really wants to cuddle. After a few minutes of tracking down all of the clothing they’d discarded and stuffing them back in the correct suitcase, she sits back on the bed and gets under the covers, snuggling up to Camila. “All done. Thanks for all of your help.”

Camila laughs and throws an arm around Lauren. “I was being serious, though. I _do_ actually want to watch a movie.”

Lauren laughs and rolls her eyes. “Movies in hotels are expensive. I have a couple of things downloaded on Netflix on my phone if you want to watch a few episodes of _American Horror Story_.”

While the show had scared her the first time they’d watched it together, Camila flashes a smile. “If it’ll make you cuddle me.”

“I’ll cuddle you regardless,” Lauren points out, “we’ll watch one of the comedies I downloaded. _Legally Blonde_ sound good?”

Camila hums in reply. “Yeah. Just grab your phone and come cuddle.”

Lauren grabs her phone from the bedside table and opens up her Netflix app, flicking through the downloads and finding _Legally Blonde_. While the movie loads, Lauren turns to her with a smirk. “I guess the stereotype is true.”

Camila frowns. “What stereotype?”

“That people always have sex at weddings,” Lauren smirks and grabs her hand, “absolutely _amazing_ sex, at that.”

Camila flushes and laughs. “Shut up and watch the movie.”

Around halfway through the movie, Lauren is fast asleep in her arms, and Camila doesn’t take long to go to sleep either. She has the best night’s sleep she’s ever had, and she puts that down to how she feels so loved when she wakes up the next day to Lauren’s bright eyes and teasing smile.


	22. Chapter 22

**_Camziii (7:27AM): WAKE UP LOLO IT’S VALENTINES DAY AND YOU’RE MY VALENTINE SORRY YOU DON’T HAVE A CHOICE IN THE MATTER_ **

**_Lern Jergi (7:28AM): What if I already have a valentine?_ **

**_Camziii (7:28AM): and her name is canola_ **

**_Camziii (7:28AM): *****CAMILA OMG_ **

**_Lern Jergi (7:29AM): LMFAO CANOLA_ **

**_Lern Jergi (7:29AM): I’M CALLING YOU CANOLA FROM NOW ON_ **

**_Canola (7:29AM): NO LAUR THAT’S MEAN_ **

**_Lern Jergi (7:30AM): Well you did just say your name is Canola. I’m just respecting your personal choice. Is your last name ‘oil’?_ **

**_Canola (7:30AM): IM UNVALENTINING YOU_ **

**_Canola (7:30AM): DINAH IS MY VALENTINE NOW SCREW YOU JAUREGUI_ **

**_Lern Jergi (7:31AM): Hey, there’s no need to make rash decisions here. I’m sure we can work something out. But I’m definitely not changing your contact name back._ **

**_Canola (7:31AM) youre using my typo against me :(_ **

**_Lern Jergi (7:32AM): Will the amazing date we’ll inevitably go on tonight make things up to you?_ **

**_Canola (7:32AM): maybe…_ **

**_Canola (7:32AM): but i demand the most romantic valentine’s day ever laur_ **

**_Canola (7:32AM): im serious here_ **

**_Lern Jergi (7:33AM): I promise that you’ll get at least two bananas. I’ll keep you well fed. ;)_ **

**_Canola (7:33AM): youre so romantic babygirl i love u_ **

**_Canola (7:33AM): id love u even more if u cHANGED MY CONTACT NAME BACK TO WHATEVER CUTE THING YOU HAD IT AS BEFORE_ **

**_Lern Jergi (7:34AM): I’m ‘Lern Jergi’ on your phone so I think you deserve to be called Canola, to be honest. I’ll put a heart next to it though._ **

**_Canola (7:34AM): fine i’ll change ur contact name to something super romantic so ur forced to change mine back to the cute thing u had it as before_ **

**_Babygirl (7:35AM): It was actually ‘weird girl who won’t leave me alone’ before. Personally I think Canola is a step up._ **

**_Canola (7:35AM): im breaking up with you ur a meanie_ **

**_Babygirl (7:36AM): Breaking up with me on Valentine’s Day? Harsh, Canola._ **

**_Canola (7:36AM): shdhdhsdh STOP WITH THE CANOLA_ **

**_Babygirl (7:36AM): Come over and make me. ;)_ **

**_Canola (7:36AM): ur honestly the most frustrating person ive ever had the displeasure to know_ **

**_Babygirl (7:37AM): You love me. :)_ **

**_Canola (7:37AM): aw wow look at u lying to urself_ **

**_Canola (7:37AM): (jk i love you so much) but wow look how much denial ur in_ **

**_Babygirl (7:38AM): So where are you taking me for Valentine’s Day? You know, since it’s your responsibility and all._ **

**_Canola (7:39AM): who said it’s my responsibility wtf_ **

**_Babygirl (7:39AM): Well you’re always going on about how you’re the dominant one in this relationship so I’m taking a backseat now. Shower me with affection and presents. ;)_ **

**_Canola (7:40AM): im not ur sugar mama_ **

**_Babygirl (7:40AM): If you suddenly find out you’ve been left a giant sum of money, then yes, you are._ **

**_Babygirl (7:40AM): I want a new car (figured I should put my requests in early) and maybe some shoes. And a whole new wardrobe._ **

**_Canola (7:41AM): psh hell no_ **

**_Canola (7:41AM): what do i get in return for all of these gifts huh????_ **

**_Babygirl (7:42AM): I’ll eat you out._ **

**_Canola (7:42AM): what kind of car do u want?_ **

**_Babygirl (7:43AM): I THOUGHT YOU’D AWKWARDLY LAUGH THAT OFF OMG_ **

**_Babygirl (7:43AM): Wow, losing your virginity really changed you._ **

**_Canola (7:44AM): shhhhhhh_ **

**_Canola (7:44AM): what time are you picking the girls up for school???? bc u could come here early and we could have a sneaky mcdonald’s breakfast_ **

**_Babygirl (7:45AM): Depends on if I’m taking my top off for you tonight._ **

**_Canola (7:45AM): well even tho ur good in bed food is my one tru love so if its sex or mcdonalds im gonna pick mcdonalds_ **

**_Babygirl (7:45AM): On my way now. I’ll be twenty minutes._ **

**_Canola (7:46AM): ur already ready for school???? i haven’t left my bed yet lmao im in my pjs_ **

**_Babygirl (7:46AM): I’m dressed and I’ve brushed my teeth. Pretty much all I need to do. Can’t be bothered with makeup so I’ll see you in twenty. Get your not so lil Cuban ass dressed._ **

**_Canola (7:46AM): ok stop texting me ur distracting me damn_ **

**_Babygirl (7:47AM): You texted me first, loser. See you in a few._ **

**_Canola (7:47AM): okay, see u soon lolo_ **

Twenty minutes later, when Camila is in the middle of brushing her hair, Lauren walks into her bedroom, dressed in a comfortable sweater and ripped jeans. “Come on. McDonald’s time.”

Camila puts her hairbrush down and rolls her eyes. “What? No valentine’s kiss?”

“You’ll have to forgive me,” Lauren pulls her in for a quick kiss, “but I’m not a Valentine’s Day expert. I’ve only ever had one valentine before, and that was Luis. He wasn’t… the most romantic.”

“And he was a dick,” Camila finishes for her. “Luckily for you, I’m not. And I’m okay at being romantic, I think.”

“More than okay,” Lauren squeezes her hand, “come on, do you want McDonald’s or not?”

Camila rolls her eyes and stands up, glancing over herself in the mirror. “Okay. I’m ready to go. Take me on a romantic breakfast date.”

Lauren snorts as she follows Camila down the stairs. “It’s hardly romantic. It’s _McDonald’s._ ”

“Well, whatever,” Camila rolls her eyes, “we’ll go out tonight and do something romantic. Besides, it’s Valentine’s Day. Isn’t everything supposed to be romantic today?”

“Um… I don’t know,” Lauren shrugs, “Like I said, I’m not an expert on this holiday. If you want my expertise on something else, call me next Christmas. Or April 20th.”

Camila frowns. “Since when was there a holiday on April 20th?”

“It’s Weed Day, Camz,” Lauren points out with a laugh as she unlocks the car. “It was a joke, don’t worry your cute, innocent little head about it.”

“Hey, I’m not that innocent,” Camila pouts, but Lauren laughs again and she huffs. “You’re mean.”

“Does this mean I’m corrupting you?” Lauren laughs to herself. “Probably. I _am_ pretty hardcore. I’m surprised you can keep up with me.”

“Shut up with your fake hardcore-ness.” Camila teases her. “You’re like a little terrier dog, since they seem to think they’re way bigger than they actually are. I know you’re a dorky loser who’s the least intimidating human on the planet. You don’t need to act around me, _princess_.”

Lauren glares at her as she starts the car. “You’re a meanie. Are we going to drive through or eat in? We have enough time for both; I told Dinah and Normani to get a ride with Ally. She doesn’t usually drive to school, but I did a little text begging to ensure we’d have enough time.”

“Eat in.” Camila decides. “We can hold hands to make the McDonald’s trip romantic.”

“Friends hold hands,” Lauren points out. “People in there will probably just think we’re gals being pals.”

Camila laughs at Lauren’s words. “Well… we kind of are. We’re gals. And we’re pals.”

Lauren shakes her head. “Damn. I’m _dating_ you and I’m in the friendzone. That’s got to be some kind of record.”

“You can date someone and still be their friend,” Camila points out, “like… it’s a good thing. The person you date should be one of your best friends. I’ve read novels where the two main characters date but they’re not even friends. Needless to say, that never works out.”

Lauren smiles. “I’m your best friend?”

“Well, no, Dinah has the official title because she’d probably punch me if she didn’t,” Camila replies, “but you’re _one of_ my best friends.”

“I’m offended,” Lauren pouts. “I want to be your best friend. Give me the official title or I’ll dump you.”

“You’re all my best friends. You, Dinah, Ally and Mani,” Camila answers, “it’s just that the other three are like sisters to me. You’re not, that’d be weird. And like, even if you dumped me for being annoying with all my puns, we’d still be friends.”

“You’re never annoying, Camz,” Lauren flashes her a smile, “and for the record, I love your puns. I love everything about you.”

Camila’s stomach flips. “You’re… you need to stop saying things like that. You’re going to make me go into cardiac arrest or something.”

“What?” Lauren laughs. “All I told you is that you weren’t annoying. That’s hardly swoon worthy.”

“No, the _I love everything about you_ part, dumbass,” Camila rolls her eyes, “because when you say things like that, little seventh grade Karla literally dies and goes for a quick trip to heaven. Because not only is she dating the literal girl of her dreams, said girl got ten times hotter and is saying loads of gooey, romantic junk.”

Lauren is silent for a moment – she’s a little busy parking the car – but once she’s parked, she pulls Camila back when she tries to get out. “Do you seriously think that?”

Camila frowns. “Think what?”

“That I’m… hotter,” Lauren murmurs the last word. “Now, I mean. Like, do you think I’m more attractive than I was when you first liked me?”

“You were like, twelve, Laur. Sure, twelve year old me was attracted to twelve year old you, but I’m not into the whole age difference,” Camila points out, “but if we’re speaking from twelve year old Camila’s perspective, then yes. Puberty hit you like a train at full speed, Lo.”

Lauren bites down on her bottom lip. “I just… worry sometimes. That I already peaked. Looks wise, I mean. Nobody wants to be known as a hot thirteen year old but an ugly adult.”

“You, ugly? Nice joke, Laur,” Camila answers, “you’re the cutest girl in school, okay? Don’t tell Dinah I said that, though. She’ll be mad that you have that title.”

Lauren sends her a small smile. “I was planning on just getting a hot chocolate, but… I think I’ll get something to eat, too.”

“Good!” Camila grins, “I would’ve made you have _something_ , though. Like a hash brown.”

“I always feel guilty eating McDonald’s,” Lauren admits as she gets out of the car. Camila grabs her hand and pulls her towards the doors. “Plus, I always feel like I’ve gained twenty pounds after.”

“McDonald’s is too good to feel guilty about.” Camila decides. “You go get us a seat, okay? I’ll order.”

“Are you sure?” Lauren asks, knowing how Camila is kind of awkward when it comes to ordering food. Most times they’ve gone on dinner dates, Camila has looked at Lauren when their waiter asked what she wants, and the older girl would order for her. Talking to people isn’t really Camila’s thing. “I can order and you can-”

“No, I want to do it,” Camila cuts in. “Go sit down. I’ll order you something good, I promise.”

After a few moments, Lauren nods, and goes to sit down. Camila heads up to the line, which is literally just her and one other person, so it doesn’t take her long to get their orders. She’s careful when walking to the table Lauren had picked – she doesn’t want to trip and drop their food – and when she sits down, she pushes Lauren’s meal towards her.

Lauren stares down at it apprehensively. “Camz… that’s a lot.”

Camila frowns at Lauren as she digs into her own big breakfast. “It’s the same as mine. Muffin, scrambled egg, sausage and a hash brown. And the hot chocolate you wanted.”

“Um…” Lauren shrugs, “I don’t really eat much for breakfast.”

“Well you should take a lesson from Karla Camila Cabello,” Camila says, “and eat everything you can. Because then you’ll be happy. That’s me, anyway. Food makes me happy, unless it’s something boring like apples.”

“Okay,” Lauren murmurs and starts eating her scrambled egg, “I don’t think I’ll get through all of it since I never eat much more than some Cheerios for breakfast, but… whatever.”

“One day of overeating isn’t going to do anything to you, Laur,” Camila answers, already half done with her food, “You’re so, so beautiful and I wouldn’t care if you overate every day and turned into that guy who can’t leave his bed without the help of a crane. Well, I would care if you turned into a guy. I’m not into guys. But if you were like, the female version of that. I’d get a job as a crane person and help you out of bed every day.”

“A crane person?” Lauren answers. “I don’t think that’s what they’re called.”

“I’m not a crane expert, Lauren,” Camila replies, “I’m just saying that I don’t care what you weigh. I love you. Besides, even if you were really big, it wouldn’t matter. Because you’re an amazing person and looks don’t mean anything, especially if the person is a total jerk. I… I get that you’re insecure, and I am too. I hate my teeth. I used to hate the way my cheeks were too chubby. Sometimes I hate that my eyes aren’t blue or green. Brown eyes aren’t a colour that gets romanticised. I never see anything good about brown eyes in novels or-”

“Brown eyes are my favourite,” Lauren quietly interrupts her. “Yours especially. Sometimes they look so deep that they’re like melted chocolate, and who doesn’t love chocolate? And when the light hits you, maybe when the sunlight is just bright enough, they turn to this beautifully deep amber colour, like a precious jewel that’s kept in a prestigious museum and guarded by lasers. If someone wants to steal it – which, they probably would, because your eyes are fucking beautiful – they’d have to cut a hole through the ceiling and lower themselves down, like in all of those cheesy spy movies.

“Just because blue and green eyes are romanticised, doesn’t mean they’re everyone’s favourite eye colour. Because brown eyes happen to be my favourite,” Lauren continues, leaning over the table to kiss her. “ _Your_ brown eyes are the ones that look at me and see something worth loving. That’s pretty damn amazing.”

Camila’s stomach feels like a damn Olympic gymnast, it’s dancing around that much. Butterflies don’t even describe the way Lauren makes her feel. Maybe dragonflies, they have bigger wings. “You’re so good with words.”

“Well, I _am_ pretty good at English,” Lauren shrugs, “and I read a lot.”

“I love you, Lo,” Camila smiles, “enough to abandon my dream of a musician to become a crane person.”

“They’re not called crane people!” Lauren laughs at her, her green eyes so bright, and her adorable teeth showing, and Camila just wants to grab her and kiss her. “They’re probably like, crane operators or something.”

Camila pouts. “Operator is too formal. At least I’ll get a cool hard hat for when I’m craning you out of bed. It’ll be like a claw machine! Except I won’t win any stuffed animals.”

“I’ll buy you one,” Lauren assures her. “You’ll have to- um, crane me to the mall for me to buy you one, but…”

Camila beams, because she’s glad that Lauren is making jokes about it. The last thing she wants is to upset her girlfriend. “Crane you to the mall. Is that a new verb, to ‘crane’ someone?”

“Well, I mean, in this context,” Lauren shrugs, but sends her a small smile, “why are we even talking about this, anyway? You won’t need to crane me out of bed. Promise.”

“Then eat your McDonald’s that I so romantically paid for,” Camila grins and squeezes Lauren’s hand across the table, “and Lo? Making jokes about things make them easier to deal with. At least in my case. So… I’m proud of you.”

“What? For joking about your dream of becoming a crane person?” Lauren shoots her a look. “It’s not a challenge to be supportive of your girlfriend.”

“You know what I meant,” Camila says, finishing off her hash brown, “also, if you get full, I’ll have whatever’s left.”

Lauren breaks her hash brown in half and passes it to her. “Have that.”

“No! Only if you’re full,” Camila pouts and pushes it back. “You still have half your scrambled egg, and your sausage. No feeding the Camila until you’re done.”

“Funny,” Lauren rolls her eyes, but keeps eating her scrambled egg, “I’ll let you know when I’m done, okay? Then you can go all out.”

Camila isn’t sure whether to be happy or sad when Lauren finishes all of her breakfast. She’s glad that her girlfriend ate it all without feeling bad about herself, but at the same time, she’d kind of wanted an extra hash brown.

(She complains about it so much that Lauren buys her another on their way out.)

When they arrive at school, they meet up with Dinah, Normani, Ally and Ariana before classes, three out of four of them wishing them a happy Valentine’s Day – Dinah, on the other hand, says _happy Tuesday_ – and then Camila kisses Lauren goodbye and follows Ariana to their shared IT class.

“So, do you have a Valentine?” Camila asks, trying to make conversation. She’s still a little awkward around Ariana, as she is around most new people. “I won’t like, judge if you don’t. This is literally the first time I’ve ever had one.”

After a few moments of silence, Ariana nods and says, “I’ve got my eye on someone.”

“Oh,” Camila answers, not sure what to say, “well, I’m sure they’ll like you back. You should ask them out or something.”

“They’re taken.” Ariana curtly replies. “But it doesn’t matter. I’m not much of a Valentine’s Day person.”

“Well, uh…” Camila trails off. “That sucks, I guess. Neither am I, really. But with Lauren… yeah. She makes me want to do all of the gooey, romantic stuff.”

Ariana doesn’t reply, and when they sit down, Camila decides that she’s going to text Lauren instead. It _is_ Valentine’s Day, after all.

**_Canola (8:58AM): ditch class and hang out with me in my class_ **

**_Babygirl (8:58AM): You, ditching class? I find that hard to believe._ **

**_Canola (8:59AM): i could :(_ **

**_Canola (8:59AM): u know my name not my story_ **

**_Babygirl (8:59AM): Shhhhh_ **

**_Babygirl (8:59AM): Concentrate on your IT work. I’ll see you at break and we can go to the music room and ‘hang out’. ;)_ **

**_Canola (8:59AM): lauren michelle so risqué_ **

**_Canola (8:59AM): i would very much like to ‘hang out’ with u_ **

**_Babygirl (8:59AM): I’ll see you later, Camz. :) Love you_ **

**_Canola (9:00AM): i love you too lo_ **

**-**

“What’s the plan, then?”

“Where the hell did you come from?” Camila looks up from her computer to see Lauren stood by her bed. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

“I came from the door, Camz,” Lauren rolls her eyes, “but you mentioned a super cute date tonight and I made the effort to get dressed up. What’s the fucking plan?”

“Oh, um,” Camila shrugs, “well, I made a reservation at this Cuban restaurant downtown. Good thing I’m not taking you on a hike, since you look ready to go to a wedding.”

Lauren smooths out the white dress she’s wearing and winks at her. “Want to take me to the registry office, then?”

Camila blinks in surprise, “Um… I mean- um, I wouldn’t be-”

“Camz,” Lauren sits down next to her with a grin, “joking. What’re you watching?”

“Just- um, Netflix. _American Horror Story_.” Camila says. “Our reservations aren’t until seven thirty and I was going to come and surprise you with it.”

“Good thing you didn’t, because I’d probably be in sweatpants,” Lauren answers, before she smirks and says, “or naked.”

Camila grins. “Kind of wish I’d surprised you, to be honest.”

“Well, sucks to be you,” Lauren teases her, “you already made your choice this morning. Sex or McDonald’s, and you picked McDonald’s. So I’m not taking my shirt off for you tonight.”

“You’re not wearing a shirt though, you’re wearing a dress,” Camila points out with a teasing smile, pulling Lauren in for a kiss before she can retort. “Anyway, since it’s literally like, an hour and a half until we have to do anything, we should cuddle and watch TV.”

“I don’t want my dress to get all wrinkly,” Lauren protests, pulling her up, “not that I don’t love cuddling you or anything. Let me do your hair. I want to curl it.”

Camila frowns as Lauren pushes her into the chair by her dresser. “I don’t own a curling iron.”

“I can do it with straighteners,” Lauren tells her, and starts raking through her drawers, “that’s how I do it if I straighten my hair but I want it wavy the next day and I can’t be bothered to shower, dry it and all of that shit. Just let me curl your hair, Camz. _Please_.”

Not able to resist Lauren’s puppy dog eyes, Camila sighs. “ _Fine_. Just because you’re so cute.”

Lauren, having finally located Camila’s straighteners, smiles. “Sure. Can I do your makeup, too? I mean, I kind of have no idea what I’m doing when I do my own makeup, but… why not, right? Isn’t that like, the perks of dating another girl, you get to share makeup and junk?”

Camila blinks at her, “You don’t know what you’re doing when you do makeup?”

“No, not really,” Lauren shrugs, “I just cover my pimples and do a little winged eyeliner and mascara. Other than that, I don’t do much. Sometimes I don’t even bother.”

“So…” Camila trails off, “You could basically make me look like a clown?”

“Maybe,” Lauren laughs, “we’ll see how it works out.”

Thankfully, Camila doesn’t end up looking like a clown by the time they have to set off for dinner – though, Lauren _does_ poke her in the eye with mascara once – and Lauren insists on picking out an outfit for her as well.

Camila ends up going in a little black dress – Lauren jokes that they’ve swapped minds for a day – and the younger girl points out that white isn’t exactly very colourful, and to call her when she wears something other than a colour on the greyscale.

“Why’d you pick a Cuban restaurant?” Lauren asks, starting up her car. “Are we going to make our way through all the different cuisines on our dates? First Italian, then Cuban. What’s next, Chinese?”

“I picked a Cuban restaurant because we’re both Cuban, dumbass,” Camila rolls her eyes, “but if you want to do Chinese next, we can.”

“I’d prefer if we did takeout for that,” Lauren says, “I suck at using chopsticks.”

“Okay,” Camila nods, “next date, we’ll stay in, wear sweatpants and have Chinese takeout.”

“Deal,” Lauren smiles, and Camila feels a flutter in her stomach. She loves her girlfriend’s smile. “I bet you’ve already decided what you’re ordering.”

“Maybe,” Camila shrugs, “got to look at the menu though. My mom recommended the restaurant, so… it’s probably good. She was the one who made the reservations, since I hate phone calls, and I wasn’t going to. I figured we could just show up, but apparently you can’t do that on Valentine’s Day.”

“Of course you can’t,” Lauren replies, “everywhere is full on Valentine’s Day, basically. Every couple goes out to dinner.”

“Oh,” Camila frowns. “Sorry for picking the generic date, then.”

“Hey, don’t apologise,” Lauren is quick to reply, “I like spending time with you. And I love Cuban food, so… it’s a good date, okay?”

“Okay,” Camila nods. She wants to hug Lauren so badly, because she loves how reassuring her girlfriend is. “I want to give you a good Valentine’s Day, since Luis wasn’t exactly the best. I just want to give you everything you deserve and more.”

After a moment of hesitation, Lauren hums. “You do. I love you, Camila. So fucking much.”

“Yeah,” Camila murmurs. “I love you too, Lo.”

When they arrive at the restaurant, Camila practically dives out of the car so she can run around to Lauren’s side and hold the door open for her girlfriend. With a laugh, Lauren gets out of the car. “You didn’t need to do that.”

“I’m being _romantic_ ,” Camila rolls her eyes, “I’m treating my girl how she deserves.”

“Your girl…” Lauren repeats with a small smile, “I like that. I like being yours.”

“Good,” Camila holds out her hand, “Shall we?”

Lauren takes her hand with a smile. “We shall.”

Camila pulls her towards the restaurant, and as they get closer, realises that it’s definitely way too busy, and she’s glad her mom made the reservation. “I hope we get a table by a wall. I don’t know why, but I _hate_ sitting on one of those tables that are just in the middle of the restaurant. It makes me nervous.”

“Probably because it’s so open.” Lauren answers. “Like, you’re surrounded by people and you’re in the centre of the room, basically. It’s probably an anxiety thing.”

“Yeah,” Camila nods, “I guess so. Can you- um, tell the waiter-”

Before Camila can finish her sentence, a guy has already walked over to them. “Do you have reservations?”

Lauren glances over at her, and Camila bites down on her lip before replying. “Um… yeah. Under Cabello.”

Once the waiter checks the reservation and leads them to their table – thankfully one against a wall – Lauren flashes her a proud smile. “I’m glad you spoke to him instead of asking me to do it. You think you can order your food?”

“Um… yeah,” Camila nods, “I mean, I don’t like doing it because one time I fucked up at a restaurant in California, because when the guy said ‘enjoy your meals’ I said ‘you too’. I was literally thirteen when I did that and I haven’t been back to that restaurant since it happened.”

Lauren laughs, and after a glare from Camila, tries stifling it a little. “I’m not laughing in a bad way, promise. It’s just- I did that one time at an airport, except this time it was _have a safe flight_ and _you too_ to the lady at the check in desk.”

Camila tries not to laugh. “Really? You did a socially awkward thing?”

“Yeah,” Lauren answers, “I’ve also said _you too_ when people say happy birthday to me.”

“I’ve done that,” Camila lets herself laugh this time, “I’ve also- um, basically spoken gibberish when my crush spoke to me.”

Lauren frowns. “I don’t remember that.”

“No, not you, this girl in California,” Camila answers, not noticing the way Lauren seems to tense. “She was a senior and I was a freshman and she was assigned to be my _buddy_ and every fucking time she said hi to me, I’d turn into a stuttery mess.”

“You never told me about that,” Lauren says, “that you had a crush other than me.”

Camila frowns, because Lauren _can’t_ be jealous over that, and she goes to explain, but the waiter interrupts them.

“Have you decided on your meals?” He asks, and when they both answer with a _no_ , he nods. “Can I get your drink orders, then?”

“I’ll, um, have a coke,” Camila says when Lauren stays quiet.

When the waiter turns to Lauren she looks up and flashes him a smile. “I’ll have a glass of merlot.”

He looks her over. “ID, please?”

Camila, expecting Lauren to order something else, blinks in surprise when her girlfriend pulls ID out of her purse and hands it over. She’s even more surprised when he nods and hands it back to her, noting down her order on his pad.

“Did you just-” Camila frowns, “since when do you have a fake ID?”

“Story for another day,” Lauren dismisses her, “tell me about this crush.”

“ _Really_?” Camila rolls her eyes. “You’re not jealous, are you? Because if you are, that’s totally dumb, because I’m _in love_ with _you_.”

“I know you are,” Lauren says, “I want the details, though. I’m interested.”

“I want to know your fake ID story, then,” Camila counters, “story for a story, Lo.”

“Fine,” Lauren rolls her eyes, “Mani, Dinah and I got them like, a year ago. Usually I flirt to get drinks, but that doesn’t work in situations like this. Plus, I’m not going to flirt with other people when I have a girlfriend.” After a pause, Lauren slides the ID over to her. “Michelle Morgado. Pleased to make your acquaintance.”

Camila laughs. “Okay, _Michelle_. Is your middle name Lauren?”

“It’s Taylor, actually,” Lauren says, “first name I thought of when the guy asked me. I’m a Pisces and I turn twenty three in… three weeks. March 7th.”

“Not too long after my birthday,” Camila says, “what’re we going to do? Go out and get wasted?”

Lauren laughs. “Don’t get sidetracked. I want the crush story now.”

“Fine,” Camila answers, “basically, it was just this girl who was my senior buddy in freshman year. She was older and seemed really smart and I’m pretty sure I liked her because she was the only person at that school who talked to me. But I could barely get three words out around her.”

Lauren hums. “You liked me more though, right?”

“Of course I did. Do.” Camila takes Lauren’s hand over the table. “I love you more than anyone.”

“Good,” Lauren squeezes her hand. “Because I do, too. Love _me_ , I mean. I’m kind of awesome.”

“Does _anyone_ say awesome anymore?” Camila laughs in reply. “And let’s be real, Laur. I’m the best Valentine you’ve ever had.”

After a few moments of silence, Lauren’s bright green eyes meet hers and she smiles. “Yeah. You are.”


	23. Chapter 23

“Walz, get the fuck out of bed.”

Camila blinks in surprise at the harsh wake up call. “Um… DJ, no offence, but what are you doing here?”

“Well, it’s your birthday,” Dinah points out, “I can’t not see my best friend on her birthday.”

“How did you…?” Camila sits up and frowns, “I never told you guys it was my birthday.”

“Lauren stalked you on Facebook. It was in your about section, and she told us.” Dinah shrugs, “Anyway, come on. You need to get up.”

“I don’t, actually,” Camila argues, “it’s my birthday. So like, I can sleep as much as I want. I make the rules.”

Dinah rolls her eyes. “Get up.”

Camila snorts and gets herself comfortable again. “Make me.”

Before Camila can go anything else, Dinah has grabbed her by the ankles and has dragged her out of bed, pushing her onto the floor with a loud laugh. “There, I made you.”

Camila huffs. “You know, Lauren would’ve been much nicer. Where is she?”

“Busy,” Dinah shrugs, “I’m the one who’s waking you up. Deal with it.”

“Lauren made plans even though she knows it’s my birthday?” Camila frowns. Usually she wouldn’t care – she’d planned on keeping it to herself, anyway – but she’d wanted to spend today with her girlfriend.

Before Dinah can reply, Camila’s bedroom door swings open, and Lauren Jauregui walks into the room, kicking the door closed behind her. “Hey, Camz. Happy birthday.”

“You’re here,” Camila frowns; Lauren laughs when she sees her girlfriend sat on the floor, “Dinah said you were busy.”

“I was busy making you breakfast,” Lauren holds out the tray in her hands and glances over at Dinah. “Did you drag her out of bed or something?”

“No,” Dinah answers, “she fell.”

“I did _not_!” Camila quickly argues, getting up and sitting back down on her bed. Lauren puts the tray full of bacon, eggs, toast and baked beans on her lap. “Thank you for the breakfast, Lo. Why couldn’t _you_ have been the one to wake me up?”

Lauren laughs. “I would’ve, if I’d known Dinah was going to attack you.”

“She was going to go back to sleep!” Dinah argues as Camila starts on her breakfast. “I did what was necessary.”

“You could’ve let her,” Lauren replies, “I would’ve woken her up with kisses.”

Camila blushes, offering a slice of toast to Lauren. “That would’ve been a way better wake up call.”

“Good to know. Next time I’ll wake you up by making out with you,” Dinah teases her, and Camila rolls her eyes.

When Lauren sits down next to her, she smiles and rests her head on her girlfriend’s shoulder. “Why’d you tell everyone it was my birthday today?”

“Well…” Lauren shrugs, rolling her eyes when Dinah steals some bacon from Camila’s plate, “you deserve a good day. I take it you’ve never spent your birthday with friends before?”

“No,” Camila shakes her head, “but it doesn’t matter. It’s not a big deal. I was going to call you later and see if you wanted to come over and watch TV, but… yeah. Other than that, I didn’t have any plans.”

“Well, you and I are hanging out today,” Lauren says, and when Dinah coughs loudly, adds, “and Dinah’s going to be third wheeling.”

Camila frowns. “What about Ally and Mani?”

“They’d already planned something they couldn’t back out of,” Lauren shrugs, “but they said they’re sorry, and have presents for you downstairs.”

“Oh,” Camila responds. “Well, uh… what are we going to do?”

“Anything you want, Walz,” Dinah replies, “except more sleeping. You’re not allowed to do that.”

Camila smiles. “Well, I don’t really… can we just stay in?”

Lauren and Dinah exchange a look, before they both shake their heads. Dinah’s the one to break the _horrible_ news for her. “Sorry, but you’re going to have to leave the house.”

“Fine,” Camila laughs, “I want to get pizza. Maybe we could go see a movie, because that gives me an excuse to cuddle Lauren.”

Lauren squeezes her hand. “You can cuddle me any time. No excuses necessary.”

“I know, but I can’t exactly cuddle you if we’re walking around somewhere.” Camila points out. “That’d be really inefficient, if you had me hanging off you like some sort of conjoined girlfriend.”

Lauren laughs. “Good point. Anyway, when you’re finished eating, you need to get dressed. Like I said, we’re going out, and Dinah’s third wheeling.”

Dinah scoffs. “I don’t like being referred to as your third wheel. It’s actually a best friend’s day, so that makes _you_ the third wheel, Ralph.”

“Whatever,” Lauren rolls her eyes, and laughs when Camila passes Dinah her empty plate. “Go take that downstairs, jerk.”

Dinah lets out a loud sigh, and turns to the door. “You know, Mila, if this loser dumps your ass, you’re going to wish you were nicer to me.”

Camila looks over at Lauren when Dinah leaves, but before she can say anything, Lauren is kissing her, pushing her up against the headboard of her bed. When the older girl pulls away, Camila smiles. “ _That_ was a nice wake up call. Couldn’t you have come up here and done that?”

“Dinah would’ve set your house on fire if she was the one to do the cooking,” Lauren points out, “and I wanted you to have breakfast in bed. Besides, I told her to wake you up gently.”

“Yeah, and she dragged me out of bed by the ankles.” Camila replies. “Why’s she crashing our birthday date? I mean, I figured I would call all of you later, so we could hang out. I wasn’t going to tell you about my birthday, though.”

“She’s crashing because apparently seeing her best friend for her birthday is important,” Lauren shrugs, “I still don’t get why you didn’t tell us it’s your birthday.”

“Because I didn’t want you all spending money on me with presents and stuff,” Camila answers. She’s used to spending her birthdays with just her family. “But I guess it’s too late for that.”

“It’s way too late for that,” Lauren answers with a laugh. “We’ve known about it for like, two months, you know.”

“I hope you didn’t get me a present,” Camila replies, “because I don’t like it when people spend money on me. Like, I’m just _me_ , but slightly older.”

“We’re the same age now,” Lauren points out, “that’s like, cause for celebration. Besides, I’m your _girlfriend_. I’d be a shitty one if I didn’t buy you anything.”

Camila laughs. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want presents.”

“Suck it up,” Lauren shrugs, “you’ve got them anyway. Which reminds me…”

When Lauren turns around and pulls something out of her back pocket, Camila frowns at her. “Didn’t you say it was downstairs?”

Lauren smirks at her. “Technically it was.”

Camila frowns when Lauren holds a suspiciously small case out. “How much did you spend on me?”

“That’s not important,” Lauren answers quickly, “Unwrap it.”

Camila tears off the wrapping paper, and is greeted by what looks like a case for a ring. Lauren takes it off her before she can open it, and opens it herself, revealing a simple silver ring with three small silver gems on the front.

“You- you got me a ring?” Camila blinks in surprise, and tries to play it off as a joke. There’s no way that Lauren bought her a fucking _ring_. “I know you love me, but don’t you think it’s a little early for marriage?”

Lauren rolls her eyes. “I’m not proposing, Camz. It’s more of a promise ring.”

“A promise ring?” Camila repeats, staring down at it in the box. “But- a promise for what?”

“A promise that I’ll always be here for you, no matter fucking what.” Lauren answers, sliding the ring onto Camila’s finger before she can protest. “It’s a promise that no matter how bad everything gets- no matter how bad I get, or how much I get upset, or stressed, that I won’t- well, I’ll try my best not to take it out on you. It’s a promise that I’ll be by your side, to bring you back to earth after a panic attack, to comfort you when you need it, and to make sure you’re always happy and smiling. It’s a promise that you’ll always have a safe place in me.”

Camila stares down at the ring on her finger. “But- I mean- I, um, I appreciate the romantic gesture, but you can’t- you can’t afford to spend money on _jewellery_ for me.”

Lauren shrugs. “I had a job last summer. I had some money left over – not going to lie, I spent most of it on ice cream at the place I fucking worked – and I just… I wanted to do something for you. To show you how much you mean to me, because you don’t realise that. You don’t know how much I love you, and how… how much I care.”

“I know you care,” Camila replies, pulling Lauren in for a kiss. “Really, I do. You don’t have to buy me things like this to make me realise.”

Lauren laughs a little, and tucks a loose strand of hair behind Camila’s ear. “Camz, you make me feel things I didn’t think I was capable of feeling. And I want to be good for you. Better for you. With you, I feel… not _completely_ sane, because you’re a weirdo, but… I don’t know, my brain just kind of… calms down a little. Not entirely – I don’t think it’ll ever do that – but there’s been times when I’ve been in a depressive episode, and you’ve managed to make me smile. Not many people can do that.”

Camila smiles. “I’m glad I can help you. Even if it is just a little. And you help me, too. I love you so much, Lo. You know that, right?”

“I know,” Lauren bumps against her playfully. “Anyway, uh… we have to get going. So… get dressed.”

Camila stands up, and before she heads to her wardrobe to grab some clothes for the day, pulls Lauren in for another kiss. “Thank you for the ring. I really love it.”

“I’m glad,” Lauren squeezes her hand, and waits on her bed as Camila gets dressed. She’s a little surprised when she’s hit in the face by a flying hoodie. “Um… why’d you throw that at me?”

“Take your shirt off,” Camila commands, and Lauren frowns, but does it anyway, putting her _The 1975_ tee next to her on the bed. Then, before she can kiss Camila, the younger girl pulls the hoodie she’d thrown over Lauren’s head and smiles satisfactorily. “There. You need to wear that today, because it doesn’t smell like you anymore.”

Lauren looks down, and recognises it as the hoodie she’d given to Camila. “Oh. Are you just going to make me wear this at regular intervals when it stops smelling like me?”

“Yeah, basically,” Camila shrugs, “I like wearing it to bed when you’re not here. It’s kind of like you’re here, all cuddled up to me like the little puppy you are.”

Instead of arguing about how _badass_ she is, Lauren just shrugs, and stands up off the bed, tossing her t-shirt over at Camila. “Keep that.”

“Oh,” Camila smiles at the t-shirt. “Okay. I will. Thanks.”

“ _But_ ,” Lauren says, pushing past her girlfriend and heading over to the closet, “I get to steal something from you. Got anything oversized?”

“Uh,” Camila shrugs, and watches from the bed as Lauren goes into her closet and starts rifling around. “I have a few sweaters I bought that are a size up.”

Lauren doesn’t reply, and after a few moments, Camila hears her. “Found something!”

“I have to approve it!” Camila says, knowing full well she’d let Lauren take anything. “What’d you find?”

“Hey, Camz,” Lauren says as she comes into view again, “I’m bi.”

Camila frowns as her girlfriend sits down on the bed with her, one of Camila’s favourite comfy sweaters in her hand. “Uh… Laur? I’ve known that for a while.”

After a few seconds, Lauren laughs. “You didn’t get it? I _came out of the closet_. Literally.”

Camila snorts. “You’re the worst.”

Lauren just shrugs, and holds out the sweater. “Can I steal this?”

“Sure,” Camila replies with a grin, “I’ll be right back, I’m going to go brush my teeth.”

Lauren nods. “I’ll be downstairs with Dinah.”

As Camila heads into the bathroom, Lauren goes downstairs, and meets Dinah in the lounge. “Hey. I figured you’d come back upstairs.”

“I did,” Dinah replies, “and I heard what felt like a serious conversation. Like, honestly, Ralph, I didn’t know you were that sappy.”

“Shut up,” Lauren rolls her eyes, “Camila’s into all of that romantic stuff. It makes her happy, and I like making her happy.”

Dinah snorts. “Whipped.”

“I’m not whipped!” Lauren folds her arms across her chest. “I’m not, and I’ve never _been_ whipped in my life. Never will be, either. I’m my own person, Camz doesn’t-”

“Hey, Lolo!” Camila shouts from the hallway, “come look at this thing!”

“Okay,” Lauren stands up, and when a smirking Camila appears in the doorway, and Dinah looks up at her with a teasing grin, she huffs. “I’m _not_ whipped.”

 -

They go to the beach for a while, Dinah constantly insisting that Lauren is the third wheel, and honestly, it kind of feels like she is. While they’re on the beach, Camila sees Lauren constantly checking her phone, and she swears she sees a message from Normani talking about a party tonight.

It hurts, because even though she hadn’t planned on telling Lauren about her birthday, she’d hoped she’d at least get to spend the evening with her.

Camila knows that Lauren likes to go out to parties, and she hasn’t really done that much since she’d started dating Camila, and she’s a little worried that maybe Lauren is getting bored with their usual weekends in.

(Camila makes a mental note to find out when the next high school party is, so she can take Lauren.)

After a little while on the beach, they go to Pizza Hut – Camila’s choice – and the younger girl is a little concerned when Lauren doesn’t seem to want anything, so she opts to share a pizza with her girlfriend.

When Camila orders for the both of them – “Yeah, me and my girlfriend will share a thin crust pepperoni, thanks,” – Lauren pouts. “But _Camz_. I can’t have pizza when I’m trying to lose weight.”

It’s almost like she’d forgotten Dinah was there, because the Tongan girl snorts. “Ralph, you don’t need to lose weight. You’re like, body goals – after _me_ , of course. Besides, pizza is good.”

Lauren doesn’t argue with Dinah, and Camila realises that maybe the girls haven’t caught on to Lauren’s insecurities yet.

(Camila has five slices of their pizza, whereas Lauren has three, but her girlfriend is smiling, so she’s okay with that.)

Lauren’s phone pings towards the end of the meal, and she smiles to herself. “Alright, time to get the birthday girl home.”

Dinah looks at Lauren knowingly, and Camila pouts. “Laur? Can I talk to you for a moment?”

“Sure,” Lauren replies, sliding out of the booth they’re in and following her outside. “What’s wrong?”

“I- um, I saw one of your texts over your shoulder, and- uh, I don’t-” Camila sighs. “I don’t want to be that person that doesn’t let their significant other do things, but I just- I wanted to spend my birthday with you. All of it. And I saw- um, that you were texting Mani about a party tonight, and I just- I know you haven’t been to any in a while, since… since you’ve been with me, but can you just… skip this one?”

Lauren stares at her for a moment, before her face breaks out into a smile. “Sure, Camz. I’ll skip this one.”

Camila beams. “Thank you. I won’t say anything about the next one, I promise. Go to as many parties as you like.”

Lauren smiles, but there’s something off about it. “Okay. Anyway, let’s go inside, I’d feel bad if I didn’t split the bill with Dinah.”

“Hey, no, I want to pay,” Camila frowns. “You’re not buying me lunch after the present you got me.”

Lauren snorts. “I do what I want, Cabello. Sorry. Besides, birthday girls don’t pay.”

“Alright, I’ll remember that rule for your birthday,” Camila replies, “when I can treat my princess the way she deserves.”

Lauren flushes at the nickname. “Not in public.”

“ _I do what I want, Jauregui_ ,” Camila mimics her girlfriend with a teasing girl, “come on, you like it.”

Lauren doesn’t say anything on the way back to the table, and even though Camila protests, Lauren and Dinah split the bill and buy lunch for her.

When they get back in the car, Camila hums in thought. “Can we go to the movies? I want to see if there’s anything good on, and-”

“Nope, we’re still getting you home,” Lauren replies, “sorry.”

Camila pouts, but figures they can watch movies at her place instead. It’d give her a good excuse to hold Lauren. Or, if Dinah makes them watch something scary, have _Lauren_ hold _her_.

When they pull up outside Camila’s house, she turns to her best friend and girlfriend with a smile. “Thanks for taking me out today, guys.”

“No worries, Camz,” Lauren smiles, “I was going to, anyway.”

Dinah smiles at her. “Yeah, well, I had plans to get here first.”

“Shut up, Dinah.”

“Don’t tell me to shut up, Lauser.”

Camila laughs, and gets out of the car, pulling her key out of her pocket. Lauren grabs onto her hand, and when she unlocks the door, she’s taken aback by the loud, “ _Surprise!”_

She turns around to Lauren with wide eyes. “Was this- was this the party you were talking about with Mani?”

“Yep,” Lauren grins, “surprise.”

Camila looks over at Normani and Ally. “Was this the thing? That they couldn’t get out of?”

“Yeah,” Ally smiles at her. “We were organising everything.”

“Mostly because Dinah would’ve gotten bored and ended up only getting half the party set up,” Normani adds, sending her friend a teasing grin, “and you’d know something was up if you didn’t see Lauren on your birthday.”

“She read your texts about a party and thought I was going to ditch her to go out tonight,” Lauren laughs, “Like, damn, Camz, what do you think of me?”

“Shut up,” Camila rolls her eyes, “I was just worried.”

Ariana – who had been sat on the couch, stands up and sends Camila a smile. “Happy birthday, Camila.”

Camila beams. “Thanks!”

When Sofi runs over to her, Camila picks up her little sister and smiles. “Kaki, Lolo gave me jobs to do, too! I put that banner up, see?”

Camila follows Sofi’s finger, and sees the lopsided _happy birthday_ banner on the wall. “I love it, Sofi.”

She puts her sister down, and hugs her parents, before she turns back to Lauren. “You planned all of this?”

Lauren shrugs. “The girls helped.”

“Yeah, but you- you’re just…” Camila cuts herself off with a happy sigh, “you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Lauren kisses her. “Come on. Sit down so I can bring your cake in.”

If anything, that just makes Camila more alert. “There’s _cake_? Where is it?”

“ _Sit_ ,” Lauren pushes her down on the sofa, “I’m going to go and get it. Stay there.”

Camila stays on the couch, her little sister on her lap, and Sofi tells her about how much fun she had with their parents, Normani and Ally while they were setting everything up, and how she was happy that ‘ _Lolo included me in her plan, can you marry her please?’_

When Lauren walks in with the cake, with two candles stuck in – a one and a seven – Camila stares at her in adoration. With her friends and family surrounding her, and her beautiful girlfriend stood in front of her, holding her birthday cake, Camila can’t think of a time she’s ever been this happy and content with her life and how things are.

She lets Sofi blow out her candles; Camila is far too busy giving Lauren a soft kiss on the cheek. “Thank you for making my birthday so special.”

“You deserve it,” Lauren tells her, putting the cake on the coffee table. “ _You’re_ special.”

Camila spends the rest of her birthday with her friends and family, but most importantly, Lauren, who cuddles up next to her on the couch as she opens her presents. _Yeah_ , Camila thinks, _best birthday ever._

She feels like nothing could ever go wrong again.


	24. Chapter 24

“Hey, Camila?”

Camila is raking through her locker for the textbook she _knows_ is in there _somewhere_ when she hears the voice. She glances around, and sees Ariana, flashing her a small smile before she starts digging through her locker again.

“Wow,” Ariana looks over her shoulder at the mess that is Camila’s locker. Lauren’s always telling her to organise it but Camila had been putting that off since she’d started at their school. “A tornado happen in there or something?”

Camila laughs. “Nope. Just me being unorganised as usual. Did you need something, or…?”

“Oh, yeah, my history teacher says I still have a lot to catch up on, and apparently you’re his best student,” Ariana says. Camila is a little shocked by that – she didn’t think she was _that_ good at history. “Do you think you could help me?”

“What, be like, study buddies?” Camila asks, and Ariana nods. She’s a little confused, but she shrugs it off, because she knows what it’s like to be new, and while Ariana’s been there since January, it took a while for Camila to settle in. “I mean… sure, yeah. What do you need to cover?”

“Basically all of last semester.” Ariana replies. “Everything I’ve missed. We did a test today on the whole course so far, and I barely scraped a forty.”

“Alright, well…” Camila gestures to her messy locker. “I’ll include my notes in the great archaeological dig that’s happening here.”

When Ariana actually _laughs_ at Camila’s terrible attempt at a joke, she’s a little surprised. “Can you meet me in the library after school? Even if you don’t find your notes, we can go over the stuff in the textbook.”

“Yeah…” Camila trails off, “if I manage to find that, too. But- uh, I can’t do tonight. I told Lauren I’d go to hers. We’re going to get started on _Lost_ since neither of us have ever seen it.”

“Oh,” Ariana’s face falls, “I guess I’ll have to ask someone else. I’m redoing the test tomorrow, so… it was kind of an urgent thing.”

“Well, I mean, if it’s urgent, I can always talk to Lauren and see if we can push it back to tomorrow night,” Camila supplies, because as much as she likes to deny it, education is more important that television. “I mean, she won’t mind, I don’t think-”

She’s cut off by a familiar, raspy voice. “Hey, Camz, did you find your-”

Camila cuts Lauren off by pulling her in for a kiss. “Textbook? No. Do you want to try?”

Lauren takes one look at Camila’s locker and snorts. “How do you not literally get attacked by loose papers every time you open your locker?”

“I guess it’s a talent,” Camila laughs, “um, anyway, I have to ask you something. Can we do our _Lost_ marathon tomorrow night? Ariana needs my help with history after school.”

“That’s fine, babe,” Lauren squeezes her hand, “I’ll go to art or something and tell the girls to get a ride home somewhere else and wait for you.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Ariana says, “I can give her a ride home when we’re done.”

Lauren looks the other girl over for a moment, and Camila swears that her girlfriend’s grip on her hand gets a little tighter. “It’s fine. I’ll wait.”

“No, really, you shouldn’t have to,” Ariana continues, “I mean, the other girls rely on you for a ride home, don’t they? Camila can get a lift home with me. It’s no problem, we only live a few blocks away from each other.”

“She’s right,” Camila agrees with Ariana, squeezing Lauren’s hand. “Don’t worry about taking me home. Go with the girls.”

After a few moments, Lauren relents. “Okay. But… text me when you get home, please? I want to know you got home safe.”

Camila pulls Lauren in for a kiss. “I promise. You’re so cute for asking that, Laur.”

“I’m not cute,” Lauren answers, squeezing Camila’s hand and casting a wary glance over at Ariana. “I’ll see you in music class?”

“Yeah.” Camila smiles. “See you then. If I ever find my textbook.”

“Wait,” Lauren frowns, “didn’t you lend it to Dinah?”

After a few moments of thought, Camila closes her locker door and sighs. “I lent it to Dinah.”

Lauren laughs, and gives her a quick kiss before she goes. “Last I saw her; she was in the cafeteria. Have fun hunting for your book.”

“Have fun being all fake angsty and badass somewhere,” Camila teases her, and Lauren rolls her eyes in response. “I love you!”

Lauren laughs as she walks down the hallway. “I love you too.”

After a few moments of silence, Ariana, who was watching Lauren retreat down the hallway with a frown, looks over at Camila. “She’s a little possessive.”

Camila frowns. “Um… no she isn’t.”

Ariana shrugs innocently. “Well, whatever you say, I guess. I just thought it was a little weird how defensive she got about me giving you a lift home.”

“She just wants to make sure I get home safely,” Camila defends her girlfriend. “And if you’re going to make comments about it, maybe I will go with her.”

“No, I didn’t mean it like that, I swear,” Ariana quickly backtracks. “I just thought it was a red flag. A friend of mine was in a relationship with someone really possessive, so… if I see things that he did to her, I get worried. That’s all.”

“Oh,” Camila replies, instantly feeling bad. “Well, uh, that’s okay then. But Lauren isn’t like that. She’d never do anything to hurt me now that we’ve both grown.”

Ariana frowns. “That implies that she’s done something in the past.”

Camila stays quiet for a moment, but she decides that there’s no harm in telling Ariana. It’s in the past, and both she and Lauren are over it. “When we were younger, in middle school, I had a crush on Lauren. Her friends at the time liked to push me around, and they thought it’d be funny to out me at a school dance. Part of that was Lauren asking me to go with her, and then telling me that the whole thing was fake. But we’re over it.”

Ariana stares at her in shock. “Damn. You’re really good for forgiving her. Honestly, if someone did that to me, I’d never forgive them.”

“I don’t like to hold grudges,” Camila replies, “besides, we’ve both grown as people, and we’ve moved past it. We love each other, and at that time Lauren was struggling with her sexuality, and I get how scary that is.”

“Well, you’re a good person for forgiving her,” Ariana says, “I don’t think I’d ever be able to trust someone again if that happened to me. Especially if they asked me out years later, in case they were stringing me along again. You’re respectable for moving past it.”

Camila shrugs, but one thing does stick out to her. _In case they were stringing me along again_. She knows it’s stupid, and she knows that Lauren loves her, but Ariana had planted a small seed of doubt in her mind.

She decides she’s going to get rid of that later. “Um, yeah, well… I- I have to go, but I’ll meet you in the library after last period?”

“Okay,” Ariana flashes her a small smile, and Camila takes off down the hallway in the same direction Lauren had gone in.

She looks around for a little while, checking the library, the art room – Ally and Dinah were in there, and Camila got her missing textbook back, but not her missing girlfriend – and eventually decides to give up searching and just talk to Lauren in music class.

She decides to go and sit outside for a little while, and typically, Lauren is in the courtyard, sat on a bench, reading her book. “Why aren’t you with the girls?”

“Huh?” Lauren looks up, and flashes her a smile. “Oh, I couldn’t concentrate on reading with Dinah and Mani being as loud as they were. I thought you were studying?”

“No, that’s later,” Camila sits down on the bench next to her. “Lauren, can I ask you something serious?”

“Is this going to actually be serious, or is it going to be you setting up a dumb question as something serious as a joke?” Lauren asks. “If it’s the latter, make your joke now.”

“It’s actually something serious for once. I know it’s a shocker,” Camila says, and Lauren closes her book. “When did you realise? That you loved me, I mean.”

Lauren stares at her for a moment, before she laughs. “Camz, I meant serious as in _I’m dying_ or _I’m moving away_ or _I’m not actually Camila, I’m a robot clone_.”

Camila snorts. “Robot clone?”

“First thing that came to mind,” Lauren pushes the thought away. “But to answer your question, I don’t think there was a real moment that I could pinpoint. I think real love happens gradually and develops over time, there wasn’t just this split second where I was like _damn, I love her_. It just… happened. I fell for you, and even though I tend to love hard, it was still a gradual process. But… I mean, if you want an answer, I guess it’s when I started like… thinking about the future, but you were still there. At that point you were a permanent piece of the puzzle that makes up my life, you know?”

“Oh,” Camila trails off, and the corner of her mouth turns up in a small smile. “Okay.”

“Is that a good enough answer?” Lauren asks. “Or… do you want me to make up a huge romantic speech?”

“No… I like your answer,” Camila takes Lauren’s hand and kisses her cheek. “And I’m just… going to keep that up there in one of those little files in my brain that’s labelled ‘ _favourite moments ever; Lauren edition’_.”

Lauren laughs. “That just made me think of that episode of Spongebob where he learns fine dining and breathing and is throwing away all of the files in his brain.”

“Yep, that’s exactly what my brain is like,” Camila laughs, “there’s a bunch of tiny Camilas up there.”

“In that case, things wouldn’t be in files all neat and organised,” Lauren points out, “they’d be thrown across the floor and in random piles everywhere because your ass is too lazy to organise things.”

Camila rolls her eyes. “Shush. I can pretend my brain is organised if I want.”

Lauren smiles and rests her head on Camila’s shoulder. “I love you so much, Camila.”

“I know, Laur,” Camila kisses her cheek. “I love you too. Come on. The music classroom is probably empty right now. If you know what I mean.”

Lauren hums in reply. “You want to _study_?”

“Yeah,” Camila replies, “ _study_. I really want to do that right now.”

Lauren closes her book, and Camila pulls her up, pulling her towards the big double doors to the school with a grin. Camila pulls her to the arts block, sneaking past the art classroom and avoiding their friends, and going into the empty music room.

Camila pushes Lauren up against their desk and kisses her, her hands resting on Lauren’s waist. Lauren cups Camila’s face with her hands and kisses her back slowly, enjoying having some proper alone time with Camila, because while she enjoys school and learning, she barely has any time to make out with her girlfriend when she wants.

Their precious alone time is ruined by a loud cough from the door, and Camila pulls apart from Lauren quickly stumbling backwards and tripping over her own feet. Lauren bursts out laughing, and helps an embarrassed Camila up from the floor.

When she sees who interrupted them, her smile falters. “Um… hi.”

“Sorry for interrupting,” Ariana says, not looking that sorry at all. Lauren doesn’t know why, but she gets bad vibes from this girl, and even though she knows she shouldn’t be like this, she wants Camila to stay away from her. “Just thought I’d come to class early. Sorry for scaring you, Mila.”

“It’s okay,” Camila assures her, “I- uh, kind of thought you were a teacher. That would’ve been way worse.”

Lauren sighs, and sits down at her desk as Ariana sucks Camila up into conversation. Instead of joining in, she gets her book out again and starts reading.

Not wanting to be bothered, because her mood has dipped significantly, Lauren goes to get her phone out of her bag so she can listen to her music, but Camila starts poking her in the arm. “Laur. Lauren. Lolo. Lauren Michelle. Join in and be a social human being for once-”

“Unlike _you_ , I happen to socialise a lot,” Lauren snaps, “Just shut up, Camila.”

Camila’s face falls, and she sighs a little, but goes back to talking to Ariana, because if Lauren is in a bad mood, it’s best not to bother her. “So, um… anyway, like I was saying, I’d never really had a valentine before, so… having Lauren was like, pretty much the best. Plus I got a free McDonald’s breakfast.”

Ariana looks over at Lauren, who has her earbuds in, and is scowling down at her book. “Yeah, seems like she’s a lot of fun.”

“She is!” Camila smiles. “I’m happy that she’s always willing to stay with me, like, if Dinah, Mani and Ally are going out to a party, Lauren always offers to hang out with me. And she always makes sure I’m okay, whenever we do anything.”

Camila looks over at her less than social girlfriend, and even though Lauren had snapped at her, links her arm through her girlfriend’s, just to let her know that she’s there if she wants to talk. She squeezes Lauren’s wrist three times, hoping that her girlfriend will get that she’s trying to say _I love you_ without actually saying it.

(It’s something her parents did when they were younger, and they’d passed it on to her. When she was frightened, or worried, her mom would always take her hand and squeeze it three times to tell her she loved her, and Camila would do it back four times.)

After a few moments, Lauren rests her head on Camila’s shoulder, and the younger girl smiles, carrying on her conversation with Ariana.

When the rest of the class comes in, and Lauren puts her book and phone away, Camila kisses her girlfriend’s temple and murmurs, “I don’t know what made your mood turn, but you can tell me no matter what.”

“It’s nothing,” Lauren replies, “I’m fine.”

“If you’re sure,” Camila says, not wanting to push her. “I love you, Lo.”

“I love you too,” Lauren replies. “Sorry for telling you to shut up. Didn’t mean it.”

“I know,” Camila whispers back as the teacher starts the lesson, “When I was researching bipolar disorder, I read that impulsivity is a big part of it. Sometimes you snap on impulse. You can’t help it. Just like I can’t help getting panic attacks and worrying too much.”

Lauren stays quiet, but takes Camila’s hand under the table, and the younger girl considers that a victory.

-

“I don’t like her.”

Dinah looks over at Lauren with a frown. “Beyoncé? Sorry, Ralph, but if that’s the case, this friendship is over.”

“No, not Beyoncé, I wasn’t listening to your conversation,” Lauren replies, “I’m talking about _Ariana_.”

Normani snorts. “You’ve been fine with her these past few months.”

“I know, but lately I feel like… like there’s something _wrong_.” Lauren huffs. “I can’t describe it, but I just… I have bad… feelings. About her.”

“Lo, you’re probably just paranoid,” Ally says, “she seems perfectly nice to me.”

“I don’t like her.” Lauren replies. “She just acts… weird. But not- it’s not _obvious_. But she seemed all… all _weird_. And right after talking to her, Camila asked me a strange question about when I knew I loved her, and she’s never asked me that before.”

“Probably just a coincidence,” Dinah shrugs her off. “You _know_ that Walz is into all of that gooey shit. She probably wanted you to have some sappy ass rant about how you’ve always loved her so she can write about it in her journal later.”

Normani laughs. “I bet her journal entries about you are hilariously cheesy. But yeah, I don’t think that question has anything to do with Ariana. Like Dinah said, Camila probably just wanted to hear you say something all lovey-dovey about her.”

Lauren frowns. _That_ she can believe, but she still didn’t like the way Ariana was looking at her. She looked way too smug for Lauren’s liking, but about _what_ , Lauren doesn’t know. “I trust my gut. I have a bad feeling about her.”

Ally just smiles. “Give her a chance, Lauren. She’s been here for like… two and a half months at the most.”

“Yeah, and now she’s getting all _weird_ ,” Lauren argues, “I’m not going to tell Camila to stay away from her, obviously. I mean, they’re friends, and even if I don’t like her, that’s not my place to say. I just don’t like how she looks at _me_.”

Dinah rolls her eyes. “You’re being paranoid. It’ll be fine, Lauren.”

“She looks at me like… like I’m some sort of psycho,” Lauren continues, ignoring Dinah. “Like, she’s always thinking that I’m not good enough for Camila. Or something like that.”

“Well, I mean, you’re kind of acting psycho right now,” Normani points out, “seriously, Laur, you’re just paranoid.”

Lauren grumbles, because if the _girls_ don’t believe her, then who will? She knows it isn’t in her head. Ariana is looking at her weirdly, and she doesn’t like it. “Whatever. I guess.”

When she gets home, she makes sure to check her phone for a text from Camila, but there’s nothing there. She knows it’s early, so she shouldn’t worry, and settles down to watch TV with her siblings for a little while. When it gets to around 5PM, Lauren _still_ doesn’t have a text from Camila, so she takes matters into her own hands.

She calls her girlfriend, and when Camila picks up, she breathes a sigh of relief. _“Hey! I was just about to call you.”_

“You were?” Lauren asks, feeling a little stupid for being so worried. “You’re home safe?”

 _“Uh, not exactly_ ,” Camila laughs, “ _open your front door.”_

Lauren frowns, but walks over to the front door and unlocks it, beaming when Camila is stood there. “What are you doing here?”

“Nice greeting,” Camila replies, giving her a quick kiss as she comes inside. “I’m here for our _Lost_ marathon. Sure, we’ve got an hour less to binge watch, but I think we can get a good amount watched.”

Lauren watches as Camila kicks her shoes off. “I thought we were doing that tomorrow?”

“Yeah, but then I missed you,” Camila responds with a grin, “so I figured I’d come and surprise you. What’re you having for dinner, because I haven’t eaten yet, and I’m starving.”

“I don’t know, my mom is still at work and my dad is busy,” Lauren shrugs, “we could order something? If you want.”

Camila grins. “Sounds perfect. Let’s go upstairs I want to cuddle.”

Lauren follows Camila upstairs, and her curiosity gets the better of her. “How was studying?”

“It was fine,” Camila smiles. “Ariana knows more that she let on, which is good. Less work for me. But I said I’d help her catch up with her classes, so… yeah.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Lauren says, and Camila quirks and eyebrow up, “she’s probably perfectly capable of doing it herself.”

Camila smirks. “Is little Lauren Michelle jealous?”

Lauren scoffs. “No, of course not. You love me and I know that.”

Camila kisses her forehead. “Good! Now get your computer, I want to snuggle and watch TV.”

Lauren gets her laptop, and as she cuddles into Camila, her heart pounding in her chest, she decides that maybe the girls were right.

Yeah, she’s definitely being paranoid.


	25. Chapter 25

Camila is busy writing, thinking of good points to explain to Ariana for her next history test, when the other girl nudges her. She looks up with a frown. “Is there something you don’t get?”

Ariana laughs and pushes her textbook aside. “No. I was just wondering if you wanted to come to a party with me.”

Camila snorts. “Me, at a party? Yeah, not going to happen. The other girls are more party animals than I’ll ever be. You could ask them, I’m sure they’d be down.”

“It’s not really a party,” Ariana is quick to make amends, “it’s more like, a hangout with a few friends.”

“Oh, okay,” Camila brightens, “well, yeah, I’ll join for that. What’s the plan?”

“I think we’re ordering pizza and watching a few movies,” Ariana answers, “but I’ll text you and let you know. It’s this Friday-”

“I’ll actually have to get back to you, in that case,” Camila interrupts, “Fridays are usually date nights with Lauren. I’m sure she won’t mind pushing it back to Saturday, but I should ask her.”

Ariana frowns. “She doesn’t let you have your own time?”

“Honestly, I’m the clingy one,” Camila shrugs, “sometimes I feel bad that I keep her in every Friday, because unlike me, she likes partying. Maybe she’ll appreciate this, because she’ll be able to go out clubbing with the girls.”

Ariana hums, and Camila goes back to marking down some questions for Ariana to do in her spare time. She’s almost finished when there’s a knock on the door and Lauren walks in, her expression faltering a little when she sees Ariana.

She shrugs it off and sits down next to Camila on her bed. “You said you’d be done by now, babe.”

“What time is it- _oh_ ,” Camila blinks at the clock, surprised at how fast the time had gone by. “I guess I was just really invested in studying or something. But, hey, I didn’t know you were coming over tonight.”

“I figured you’d be into a surprise date, maybe,” Lauren suggests, sitting down next to Camila on her bed and wrapping her arms around Camila’s waist. “We could get ice cream.”

“You’re the ice cream addict, not me,” Camila points out, “but, uh, I think maybe we shouldn’t tonight. Ari’s got a big test tomorrow and I promised I’d help as best I could. Tomorrow, maybe?”

Lauren frowns, but nods, and Camila jots down another two questions, passing the sheet to Ariana. Ariana smiles at her. “Thanks for this, Mila. You’re so helpful.”

“No worries.” Camila smiles. “I’m always here to help.”

Lauren looks between them, and after a few moments, sighs and stands up. “Alright, fine. Tomorrow. I’ll see you.”

“Wait, you don’t have to leave,” Camila sits up and grabs Lauren’s hand before she can go. “Maybe we can watch a movie once I’m finished with Ari. I know you always keep a book on you so you won’t be bored waiting.”

Lauren bites down on her bottom lip, and looks between Camila and Ariana for a moment. Unable to resist Camila, Lauren nods lamely and sits down, pulling a book out of her purse and getting herself comfortable on Camila’s bed.

Camila looks over at her girlfriend with a smile, reaching over to kiss Lauren’s cheek. Her girlfriend blushes, sending her a small smile, and Camila murmurs an apology. “I promise I’ll get done as soon as possible. Then you’ll have my full attention, babygirl.”

Lauren nods, pulling Camila down for a proper kiss, and the younger Latina feels the familiar butterflies in her stomach. Then, Camila turns around and flips the page in her textbook.

“Okay, so, the Great Depression…”

-

Lauren is annoyed.

She knows she’s being dumb, and she knows they’re just studying, but she can’t stand seeing Camila give Ariana attention over her. She knows it’s irrational jealousy, but it’s like she can _feel_ Ariana judging her. Like Ariana thinks she’s not good enough for Camila.

When it gets to half past nine, Lauren closes her book and stuffs it back into her purse. She’s done waiting around. Camila had told her they’d be done by seven, and she hadn’t expected Ariana to be here in the first place. She’s been waiting for _two hours_. Camila and Ariana had been studying for _six_ hours, and it’s like Camila is prioritising some other kid’s education over her relationship.

“Whoa, Laur, where are you going?” Camila frowns when Lauren heads to the door without a word. “You said you’d wait and then we could watch a movie.”

“Yeah, I said that two hours ago,” Lauren rolls her eyes. “I’m hungry and I’m going home to make dinner. I’ll see you tomorrow or something. Whenever you can fit me into your busy schedule.”

“Hey,” Camila jumps up and pulls her back, and Lauren feels the anger bubbling in her tummy. She just wants to go home. “That’s not fair. I didn’t know you were coming over tonight.”

“You’ve never had a problem with me coming over unannounced before,” Lauren points out with an eye roll. “You gave me your spare key.”

“I know that, and I don’t have a problem with it,” Camila’s thumb traces patterns over Lauren’s knuckles. “I love you and I love spending time with you, but I promised Ari I’d study with her.”

“Yeah, and I’m leaving so you can do just that.” Lauren answers. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

As Lauren leaves Camila’s bedroom, the younger Latina blurts out a quick apology to Ariana and follows Lauren down the stairs.

“Hey, wait!” Camila grabs Lauren by the arm and the older girl whirls around. “Don’t just storm off. You know you can stay for something to eat, and you can sleep over any time. You brought PJs and a toothbrush over, remember?”

Lauren shakes her head, tugging her arm away from Camila’s. “I’m not staying. I’m sick of her looking at me like- like I’m not _worthy_ of you.”

Camila frowns. “She doesn’t-”

“She fucking _does_.” Lauren folds her arms across her chest and glares in the direction of Camila’s bedroom. “I just- I can’t be here. I’m going home. I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning for school.”

“No you won’t, because you’re sleeping over,” Camila smiles at her, and the anger Lauren feels subsides a little. Camila always seems to know how to make her more level-headed. “Come on. You’re right, it’s late. I’ll tell Ari that we’re done, and then you and I are going to have a snuggle and watch a show. Maybe I’ll let you introduce me to _Game of Thrones_. It better not be too gory, though.”

Finally, Lauren smiles. “Okay.”

Camila does as she promised, and Lauren has to hold back the sarcastic smile and wave as Ariana leaves. She feels much better now that they’re alone.

“Alright, so, _Game of-_ whoa,” Camila is cut off by Lauren’s lips against hers, and once her initial shock is gone, she smiles against her girlfriend’s mouth and puts her hands on Lauren’s waist. When they part, she grins. “What was _that_ for?”

“For being you,” Lauren answers, sitting down on Camila’s bed again. “You just always know how to talk me down.”

Camila smiles. “That’s because I know that you’re irrational sometimes and you can’t help that. Ari doesn’t dislike you, baby-”

“I don’t want to talk about her,” Lauren interrupts. “I want to talk about you. How perfect you are.”

“I wouldn’t say I’m _perfect_ ,” Camila answers, but she sends Lauren a teasing grin. “Actually no, now that I’ve thought about it, I’m pretty fucking amazing.”

Lauren smiles, pulling her down for another kiss. “You’re not wrong.”

“Anyway, since it’s late and my parents and sister probably had dinner without me, how about we order something in?” Camila suggests, opening her bedside table drawer and showing Lauren the plethora of takeout menus she’s acquired since moving back to Miami. “And because I’m so awesome, I’m letting my babygirl choose.”

Lauren scans the menus in Camila’s hands before she plucks a Chinese one out of the younger girl’s grip. She looks through it and nods. “We’ll have this.”

“Cool,” Camila says, “will you call and place the order? You know I hate phone calls.”

“Sure, I got it,” Lauren gets up and grabs her phone, and once Camila decides on what she wants, calls up the restaurant and orders. Once that’s out of the way, she settles down on Camila’s bed again. “I’m sorry I’m so paranoid around Ariana. I just don’t trust her.”

Camila squeezes Lauren’s hand. “It’s okay. Besides, I think it’s kind of cute that you’re jealous. Means you really love me.”

“Of course I really love you, Camz,” Lauren traces patterns over Camila’s knuckles. “You’re my favourite person in the world. And I promise I’ll love you and appreciate you forever.”

“Hah, _gay_ ,” Camila snorts, but when Lauren rolls her eyes, she smiles. “I love you too, Laur. And I promise I’ll be there for you forever too.”

“Date night on Friday, maybe?” Lauren offers, and Camila smiles and nods. “Good. I’ll book a table at a restaurant. I’m thinking the one we went to on our unofficial second date. Where I didn’t exactly tell you it was a date.”

“Yeah, you weren’t exactly the smoothest,” Camila laughs, tracing patterns against Lauren’s upper arm as Lauren finds _Game of Thrones_ on Camila’s laptop. “But it’s okay. You’re pretty smooth now.”

Lauren hums, pushing the laptop away once it’s paused on the first episode. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

Before Camila can answer, Lauren pulls her in for a kiss, and Camila’s stomach does a backflip. She cups Lauren’s jaw with her hands and pulls Lauren closer, deepening the kiss and loving how it feels exactly like the first time. She’s so in love with Lauren, and not to brag, but she loves that she’s found her soulmate already.

Lauren lays back on the bed, and Camila kisses her neck. The older Latina’s hands trace down Camila’s spine, and when she squeezes her ass, Camila laughs. “Someone’s in a good mood all of a sudden.”

“Mhm,” Lauren hums, pulling Camila down for another kiss. “I want you, Camz.”

“Well, too bad, babygirl,” Camila whispers in Lauren’s ear, kissing just under it. “You don’t make the rules here.”

“Camz,” Lauren whines, pouting up at her, but relents before Camila can speak, “it’s okay if you’re not feeling it. I’m-”

“Never said I wasn’t,” Camila teases her, “if you’re into it, I’m into it. Just- wait there. I want to try something.”

Lauren frowns at her. “Try what?”

“First, I’m going to need you to take your shirt off, princess,” Camila murmurs, smirking when Lauren visibly gulps at the nickname.

Initially, Lauren is hesitant, but she pulls her shirt up over her head.

“Good girl,” Camila smiles, because Lauren has made things twenty times more convenient by not wearing a bra underneath. “Now, close your eyes.”

“Close my eyes?” Lauren frowns. “Why?”

Camila kisses just off the corner of Lauren’s mouth. “Trust me. Close your eyes.”

Lauren does as Camila says, and the younger girl beams, jumping off the bed and digging deep into her sock drawer to find what she’s looking for. She gets back on the bed, kissing Lauren’s forehead, and then she gently takes her girlfriend by the wrist.

She locks the first set of handcuffs around Lauren’s right wrist, and locks the other side to the bedpost. As Lauren bites down on her bottom lip, Camila readies the second pair, so Lauren’s other hand will be locked against the bed too.

Camila kisses Lauren’s forehead again, and when green eyes flutter open, she smiles. “Is this okay, babygirl?”

“Yeah,” Lauren answers, but it’s barely a whisper. “It’s okay.”

Camila smiles, and locks Lauren’s other hand to the bedpost. “That’s better. I know from our first time that you have a problem with touching when you’re not allowed.”

Lauren nods, looking up at her with hunger radiating in her eyes. “Will you make me feel good, Camz?”

“If you’re good, then yes,” Camila answers, kissing down Lauren’s neck to her breasts.

She makes sure to leave a hickey on Lauren’s neck, and when she pulls away and Lauren realises what she’d done, she laughs softly. “A hickey? What happened to you being worried about my parents thinking you’re a sex crazed maniac?”

“Lauren,” Camila pouts. “Not the time. I’m trying to be sexy here.”

“You’re always sexy, baby,” Lauren murmurs, and Camila laughs when Lauren goes to move her hand to touch her, but is restricted by the cuffs. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Camila smiles, but when her mouth comes in contact with Lauren’s soft pink nipple, and the older Latina gasps and strains against the handcuffs, it turns into more of a smirk. “You like that, baby?”

Lauren whines in reply, and Camila keeps kissing her breasts, leaving hickeys to remind her girlfriend that she’s _Camila’s_ , and only Camila’s. As she works, she makes sure her leg is in just the right place to grind against Lauren’s centre, and every time Lauren strains against the cuffs, hungry to touch her, Camila feels that ache between her legs. Seeing her girlfriend completely under her control makes Camila so hot.

Camila unbuttons Lauren’s jeans and tosses them across the room, smirking at her girlfriend. She teases Lauren’s clit over her panties, and the older Latina gasps. “Camz, please.”

“You want me to make you come, princess?” Camila asks, already knowing the answer. “We’ll see. If you’re good.”

Camila kisses Lauren’s neck again, and as her fingers tease the thin cloth of Lauren’s panties; the only thing separating her from her girlfriend’s clit.

“ _Camz,”_ Lauren whines, bucking her hips and straining against the cuffs. “Please.”

“It _really_ doesn’t take much to get you begging,” Camila smiles to herself, taking her own shirt off to get Lauren going even more. She slowly walks two fingers down Lauren’s tummy, inching closer and closer to Lauren’s core. “I kind of like having you like this, at my complete mercy. And if I let you come, I’ll have to uncuff you, and we don’t want that. Besides, shouldn’t you be enjoying this, babygirl? Weren’t you the one who was jealous that someone was taking you away from me? I bet you’re not thinking like that now that I’ve got you here.”

“Camila,” Lauren stares at her, desperation in her eyes, “ _please,_ fuck me.”

“Well, at least someone has her manners,” Camila kisses Lauren’s jawline and teases her centre over her soaked panties again. “But I don’t know if I should give that to you yet. Maybe I should play with you a little longer. _Or…_ I could drive you even crazier…”

Camila smirks to herself at her sudden idea, and unbuttons her pants, tossing them aside. Then, she shuffles forwards, her hands cupping Lauren’s jawline. “Take my panties off.”

It’s practically an order, and Lauren pulls against the cuffs again, as if to use her hands, and then frowns. “I’m- I can’t, I’m tied up-”

Camila smirks. “You have a mouth. Use it.”

Lauren moves forwards as best as she can with Camila sat on her torso, and uses her teeth to pull down Camila’s panties. The younger Latina tosses them across the room for her, and leans down and pulls Lauren in for a kiss.

“Are you going to be good and make me come, babygirl?” Camila asks, and Lauren frowns at her, but nods. She tugs against the cuffs expectantly, and Camila snorts. “Oh, you’re not getting your hands back. You’ll have to make do with something else.”

With that, Camila moves forwards and rides against Lauren’s mouth. She hears the older Latina’s gasp, and feels her warm breath against her centre, but Camila’s more focused on the way Lauren’s tongue finds her clit and traces circles around it. Camila moans as Lauren’s tongue works wonders, starting slowly but gaining speed once Camila commands it.

Lauren strains against the handcuffs even more, wanting nothing more than to touch her girlfriend’s beautiful body, and knowing she’s completely under Camila’s control makes her even more desperate to be touched herself. She squeezes her legs together to placate herself as best as she can as Camila rides her face, and uses her tongue to please Camila, her girlfriend’s moans making her panties even more soaked than they already were.

“ _Fuck, Lauren_ ,” Camila breathes out as Lauren kisses her clit, “you’re so good at this, princess.”

When Camila’s breathing gets heavier and she starts grinding against her faster, Lauren presses her tongue down on Camila’s clit, and her girlfriend falls apart on top of her. Lauren tastes Camila’s come as her girlfriend rides out her orgasm, and when she finally moves away, resting against Lauren’s bare chest, the older Latina feels like she could come at the sight of her girlfriend’s flushed cheeks and lustful gaze.

Camila pulls Lauren in for a kiss, tasting herself on her girlfriend’s tongue, and then pulls away with a smirk. “I think it’s someone else’s turn now.”

Lauren breathes out a sigh of relief, but when Camila goes back to teasing her through her panties, she knows she’s not going to get a release as soon as she’d like.

Camila seems to sense that thought, and she smirks. “Patience is a virtue, princess.”

Lauren groans, and Camila laughs a little, kissing down to her tummy. Lauren squeezes her legs together again, and Camila lets out a small sigh.

“Am I going to have to tie your legs apart?” Camila asks her, and Lauren blushes. “Next time you do that, it’ll be ten more minutes until you’re allowed to come. You come when I say, and _only_ when I say.”

“Okay,” Lauren meekly responds, “sorry.”

“Good.” Camila kisses Lauren’s tummy and smiles. “You’re so beautiful, babygirl. Your tummy is gorgeous.”

“I- thank you,” Lauren mumbles, even though she doesn’t entirely agree. “Camz, _please_ can you-”

“Fuck you? Not yet,” Camila answers, squeezing Lauren’s breasts and leaving another hickey on her neck. “I need to appreciate every inch of you.”

Lauren lets out a gasp when Camila’s leg presses against her centre, and when her girlfriend smirks, she moves forwards to kiss it off. Camila lets her, but pulls away before she can deepen the kiss, and the younger Latina traces patterns across Lauren’s stomach.

“You’re so beautiful, princess,” Camila murmurs, kissing Lauren’s jawline again. “I love you.”

“I love you t- _fuck,”_ Lauren gasps when Camila takes her off guard and starts rubbing her centre through her panties. “ _Camz._ ”

“I thought you wanted to come, Lauren,” Camila teases her, kissing her neck and sucking on her pounding pulse point. “I’m just giving you what you want.”

When Camila finally pulls Lauren’s panties down, the older Latina lets out a small sigh of relief, but it’s cut off by a small _fuck_ when Camila thrusts two fingers into her centre and starts slowly pumping them in and out. Lauren closes her eyes and throws her head back, trying to control her breathing, but Camila uses her free hand to pull Lauren back by her jaw.

“Open your eyes,” Camila says, “I want you to look at me when I make you come.”

Lauren does as her girlfriend says, wanting to buck her hips upwards to get the release she desperately needs, but she knows Camila won’t like that, so she does what Camila wants her to do.

“Camz, please,” Lauren begs, straining against the handcuffs again. “ _Please,_ baby, _faster._ ”

Camila complies, but barely, and Lauren is about to complain, but when her girlfriend’s thumb lightly presses down on her clit, she gasps. Camila smirks. “Someone’s enjoying this.”

Lauren struggles to find words as Camila’s thumb gently massages her clit. “Fuck- I- _Camila,”_

Camila adds another finger, and she knows that Lauren is already close; after all of the teasing, why wouldn’t she be? But Camila wants this to last. As she curls her fingers, she feels Lauren’s walls tightening around her, and when she’s seconds away from the edge, Camila pulls away.

Lauren lets out a desperate whine, and Camila laughs. “That’s for trying to get yourself off. I think next time your legs will have to be tied apart, too.”

“ _Camila,”_ Lauren glares up at her, and the younger Latina just laughs again, kissing down Lauren’s neck and making sure that her thigh is grinding against Lauren’s centre. “You’re not- _please_ , baby,”

“Like I said, patience is a virtue,” Camila answers, trailing her hand back down to Lauren’s core, “but since you asked so nicely…”

Camila pumps three fingers into Lauren’s centre, and the older Latina moans in ecstasy. Camila smirks to herself, using her free hand to keep Lauren’s eyes on her. This time, when Camila feels Lauren tightening around her fingers, she presses down on her girlfriend’s clit. Lauren moans, and closes her eyes, but when Camila says _look at me_ , she complies. Camila curls her fingers inside of her girlfriend at just the right point, and the older Latina breathes out her name before she falls apart. Camila kisses Lauren as she comes, silencing the older girl’s moans with her mouth, and once Lauren comes down from her high, she feels like it’s okay for her to go back to her normal, dorky self.

“Was that… was that okay for you?” Camila asks, suddenly feeling very shy. “I wasn’t sure if-”

“Camz,” Lauren breathes out, “that was the best sex I’ve ever had.”

“Oh,” Camila blushes. “Wait, really?”

“Yeah,” Lauren admits, and Camila pulls her in for a kiss. “Now, uh, can you unlock these handcuffs? I need to be dressed so I can get the door when our food comes.”

“Okay, sure,” Camila gets up and pretends to look through her sock drawer for the key. She feigns worry and turns to Lauren. “Uh… I can’t find the keys.”

Lauren’s content smile immediately drops from her face. “What?”

Camila laughs, and picks them up from her dresser. “Kidding.”

“You’re such a dick,” Lauren rolls her eyes. “Untie me.”

Camila complies and unlocks the handcuffs, and once Lauren is free, she rubs her wrists where they’ve chafed. Camila cringes. “Sorry about that. I should’ve gotten the pink fluffy ones, now that I think about it. I just thought that if my mom were to find pink fluffy handcuffs it’d be obvious what I had them for. But regular ones, I could’ve made up some excuse about how I’m planning on going as a cop next Halloween and I’m preparing early.”

Lauren laughs. “For some reason, I don’t think she’d buy that.”

Camila just shrugs. “Whatever. Let’s make ourselves presentable for when the food gets here.”

“Alright,” Lauren answers, grabbing the spare pyjamas she leaves at Camila’s and turning towards the bathroom. “And Camz?”

Camila looks up. “Yeah?”

Lauren smiles. “I love you.”

Camila beams back. “I love you too.”


End file.
